I had stressed myself for nothing. We made it back to the cemetery, and the hidden entrance to the Underside without even coming across a single slime. I wasn’t complaining, an easy walk in the woods was what I was all about.
We did have to take a wide detour to avoid the dark infected part of the forest. I had to let the ranger master know about it so they could make it safe for the druids to do their work. A cleansing like that could take weeks, and I was hoping with my new found wealth I could skip town for a vacation.
Snap!
I spun and had my blades ready to strike. Their keen edges gleamed in the clouded moonlight and staring them down was Bazz, looking terrified.
“Bazz, I said to stay back so I could make sure the coast was clear,” I whispered harshly.
“I heard a noise and got scared,” Bazz whimmered holding his tail.
I rolled my eyes and dragged him by the cloak towards the old graves. We jumped the crumbling cobblestone and brick walls making it to what I felt was safety. I quickened my pace and didn’t worry about sneaking, the thieves would know we were here. I yawned and made a hand signal they knew, making sure no one shot Bazz if he fell behind me.
“Willow, this is a cemetery, what if it’s haunted?” Bazz asked.
“The only thing that would be here at this hour is people meeting up to have sex in the woods, drunks looking for a place to sleep or people making back room deals. We are probably safer here than most places in Carrington,” I said.
As if to back up my answer we heard the sharp cry of a young man in the throes of ecstasy in one of the gravediggers sheds followed by a woman shortly after. I raised my eyebrow at Bazz and the bard’s tense shoulders slumped as he sighed.
We made it to the city walls and I saw the hidden entrance had twice the normal hired thugs around it. They were playing cards, drinking and having a good time. It wasn’t the biggest secret in the city, and the thieves guild paid the guards well to look the other way. The city wasn’t giving the local guards a fair salary so they were more than happy to take the money and take their time arriving to investigate the illegal shops, brothels and gambling houses in the Underside.
“Willow, this doesn’t look like the most reputable entrance,” Bazz whispered to me, fear creeping into his voice.
“These guys understand one thing, money. As long as you pay for what you buy here and you don’t make a fuss they won’t bug you,” I said.
We walked right up to the hidden door and I tossed a copper to the doorman. He caught it with expert precision and opened the door for us with a bow. I could see it was one of the older regular thieves I passed often.
“What’s with all the boys out here, Richie?” I asked.
The middle aged human looked up and tipped his wide brimmed cloth hat back. My coin had already found its way into one of his many pockets on his patchwork tunic. The cloak on his shoulders was to make him look like an average labourer, but the six daggers on his heavy belt weren’t even hidden today dispelling the image.
“Something has the adventurer’s guildmaster up in a tizzy. We are just keeping an eye for trouble…say Willow, is that a new shirt,” Richie asked, looking at Bazz. “I hope you didn’t harm this young lady’s clothes.”
“W-w-what?” Bazz stammered. “I…”
“It’s a long story, Richie. Bazz is a good friend, and saved me so cut him some slack,” I said, rubbing my hand between Bazz’s ears.
“Aye, just making him flustered. If he's a friend of yours he can come by anytime,” Richie laughed, showing off his gold teeth.
We passed by and headed straight into the core of Underside. I mentally thought of what could have kicked up such a fuss back at the adventurer’s guild. Perhaps one of the top guild members started another brawl at one of the other inns or someone decided to play a prank and fill the guild barrack beds with itching powder again. It had taken a week to catch the culprit last time.
The dimly lit cramped streets were even more gloomy and I had to rely on my ability to see in the dark to navigate the labyrinth. Bazz followed me, hot on my heels, his head snapping to each sound we heard.
“Willow, why don’t we head right back to the guildhouse?” Bazz asked nervously.
“Because it’s going to be packed and the food will be cold. There’s a nice place here we can crash at and I want to drum up some business with my blacksmith friend first thing in the morning. Plus we can’t even turn the quest in till tomorrow, right?” I shot back, trying to cheer up Bazz.
“Does it have good food?” Bazz asked.
“Oh, some of the best, it’s a feast for the eyes,” I smirked.
…
The topless minotaur waitress danced around us to get to the table behind us, her massive jugs swung with her and Bazz had to duck to avoid getting knocked out by the huge flying melons.
“This…wasn’t what I expected,” Bazz said, trying his hardest to focus on his plate.
I gulped down a tankard of ale, slammed it onto the table and leaded back to wink at a passing waitress. “Hey Dreama, can I get another drink and maybe something to cheer up my friend?”
The topless bunny girl waved to me and went to the bar. She swayed her hips and took long deliberate steps to show off her long slender legs. Her miniskirt threatened to ride up and show off her thong, while covering just enough to entice the mind to think. She picked up two drinks from the bar and rested them on top of her large bosom, her fishnet bra barely containing them.
When the bunny girl handed me my drink she winked at me and tapped Bazz on the shoulder. The cat boy looked up and nearly bit his tongue as he came face to face with her tits. Dreama played with her long brunette hair and blew Bazz a kiss, nearly giving him a heart attack.
The cat boy took his drink and stammered out a thank you. Dreama leaned down to give him a kiss on the cheek and whispered something into his ear that made him cover his lap.
“I uh…thank you very much miss,” Bazz said, turning his focus to his beverage. “If it gets cold I might take you up on that offer.”
I shared a look with Dreama and the bunny girl went on to the next thirsty customer, getting their order. I looked around “The Resting Hills” inn and saw the usual girls were working tonight. It was a secret little inn that was out of the way and you had to be a regular at the Underside to even get in.
I was friends with a few of them as half these waitresses used to be adventurers, but found the coin here was more consistent. It wasn’t a half run down shady brothel like most of the establishments down here, but a classy establishment to enjoy the sights. Hell most of the girls didn’t even do sex work, just chatted up the patrons.
“Food is pretty good here, isn’t it?” I asked, shaking Bazz from his thoughts.
Bazz shoved a mouthful of roast, potatoes and herbs into his mouth. He nodded and let out a long sigh. “I hate to admit it, but you are right. This might have the best food in town!”
The minotaur girl overheard and shouted towards the kitchens. “Oi, this one wants to kiss the cook!”
“I…what?” Bazz asked, looking around. “What’s going on Willow?”
I laughed and slapped him on the back. “There are rules here, and if you praise one of the girls for their work you have to give them a kiss!”
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There was a full house tonight and all ten tables were packed with patrons, except for our little corner table of two. They beat their mugs onto the tables and chanted together, their rhythmic drumming building up the anticipation.
“Kiss the cook, kiss the cook!”
“I could do a kiss on the cheek if that’s required,” Bazz sighed in defeat.
The kitchen doors opened and the chef tossed her apron off to the side. Martha was an ex-adventurer, one of the best that had ever graced Carrington. She had ended up finding a love for cooking and hunted all kinds of exotic beasts to add to her dishes. However she did have a rather unique appearance.
She was a half minotaur, half dragon. Her cow horns and dragon horns curled up to sharp points, hovering near the ceiling. Her long blue hair was tied up and she let it fall loose into a long ponytail. Covering her neck, shoulders, thighs and sides were blue dragon scales that gleamed like gemstones. Her blazing sapphire eyes locked onto Bazz.
“Gods above, she’s a giant,” Bazz breathed.
The nine foot tall woman struted over to Bazz, her tight fitting sweatshirt barely able to contain her bouncing breasts that probably weighed as much as me. Her thighs that could shatter cannonballs were in Bazz’s face and he had to strain to look up at her face. I saw behind Martha her long dragon tail ending in a tuft of silky smooth fur, wagging slowly telling me she was in a good mood.
“Have something to say to me, cutie?” Martha cooed, leaning down to be at eye level with Bazz.
The chant continued and people stamped their feet, shaking the wooden floor beneath us. I could see Bazz was trembling as the intimidating war priestess was staring him down like a predator about to pounce on her prey. But to the surprise of everyone Bazz stood up and faced her. The chanting stopped and the stage was his.
“I wanted to say that my meal was the best I ever had, even better than Mama used to make. You are an artist of your craft,” Bazz said, taking a deep bow.
“Aw, aren't you precious,” Martha said, ruffling Bazz’s hair.
Bazz cleared his throat and blushed. “So uh, do I have to kiss the cook or was that a big joke-”
Martha cut him off by planting a kiss right on his lips. It was a cute, short lived kiss that brought a tear to my eye with how sweet it was. Bazz sheepishly smiled and waved, making everyone laugh. Martha winked at him and returned to her post, dipping her head to get back into the kitchen.
“Hey Bazz, you got a little something on your lips,” I said.
Bazz wiped off the blue glossy lipstick that covered his mouth, cheeks and chin. He let out a long sigh, slinking down into his seat until his nose was level with his table. He looked like he had just battled a dungeon boss by himself.
“She’s intense,” Bazz said.
“But imagine the sex!” I whispered.
Bazz went bright red and stammered out something. I cackled and turned back to my drink enjoying the high quality ale. This place was expensive, but it was worth every half-copper. I mentally tallied up our bill and made sure I would put in an extra tip for Martha, she worked hard to put food on the table at home, and to pay for her kids schooling abroad.
“Well um, speaking of bed room activities have you gotten us beds to… I mean sleep. I realize how that sounded, but I mean for sleeping,” Bazz said, clutching his hair. “Ah, what have you done Willow?”
“I got us a private room with two double beds. There’s a dividing curtain too,” I said, passing him a brass key. “It has enough space so we can set up the tent and get some things from it.”
Bazz held the key and rubbed his thumb along the oiled metal. He looked up wistfully at the room, seeing everyone chat, cheer and sing rowdy songs together. “This is a fun place, we should stop by again, for the food.”
I smiled and finished my meal with Bazz downing the last of his shortly after. I walked up to the bar and talked to the topless minotaur girl to pay our bill. With me going the extra mile for the tips it ended up being three gold pieces, a sizable sum for a night out. Still this place was worth it, and it ended up putting me in the special book. I was now part of a small group of preferred customers that got special treatment, and it meant I could rent private meal rooms in the future.
“Thank you for the tip Willow,” the cheerful waitress said, giving me a hug.
“No…problem,” I mumbled between her breasts, my face swallowed up by them.
I managed to free myself before I suffocated and met up with Bazz by the stairs. The painted wood walls had all kinds of forest images with dancing satyrs and nude nymphs. It stirred up strange feelings in me, like I was longing to return somewhere. For a brief moment I scented sweet caramel and chocolate. I looked around to see Bazz and I were alone, and smelled we were in need of a shower.
I got us up to the third floor, one away from the exotic suites upstairs. I put my ear up to the door and ran my hand along my belt, resting it on a dagger. Bazz sleepily yawned, not realizing I was on high alert.
“I think there’s someone in our room,” I whispered.
Bazz shook himself awake and took out his lute, brandishing it like a club. I turned the door handle seeing it was unlocked, confirming my suspicions. I rammed my shoulder into the door, flinging it open and brandished my dagger. Bazz aggressively strummed his lute, making the entrance even more dramatic.
Laying on one of the beds was Dreama, the bunny girl in a bathrobe with a pair of glasses resting on her nose. She held a book in one hand, and beside her was an open box of chocolates. One piece was midway to her mouth and when she saw me she tossed it towards me.
The chocolate floated towards me, held by a glowing magical hand. I took it and chomped down on it. Carmel and chocolate touched my tongue making me let out a small moan of delight. It had been forever since I had any, and I looked at my old friend to see her grinning.
“Uh, Willow…” Bazz said, gulping down some air. “Should I leave or…”
“It’s fine, Bazz. Dreama is an old party member of mine from when I was a newbie. She’s a sorceress and a pretty darn good one too,” I said.
“Stop Willow, you're making me blush,” Dreama said, hiding her face behind her book.
I closed the door and checked out the room. It was a big spacious room I could pace in and between the two beds were a pair of nightstands, chests and a cabinet. I saw it was open, a bathrobe already claimed. I started to put my equipment in one chest, and felt Dreama help me unbuckle some of my straps.
“How are things?” I asked Dreama, trying to fill the silence.
Bazz was looking around the room, touching the art on the wall, opening the wine cabinet by the door and checking out the side door to the washroom. This was a pretty expensive room and I could feel the luxury around me, it was nice.
“The same. Remember Kriss, the archer?” Dreama asked, and when I nodded she continued. She kicked back on the bed, laying flat and looked at me between her bust. “He came by again trying to get me to go with him on one more adventure. He doesn’t get that’s all behind me, I’m happy sleeping in a warm bed every night.”
I nodded trying to show I was listening. I kind of got what Dreama was getting at. I did love to sleep at town, goofing off and feeling safe. But we were not the same, I had a drive in me to explore and I wasn’t going to get that in town, plus with my longer life I didn’t have the same drive to settle down.
“Willow, the bath is already made with rose water soap,” Bazz said, poking his head in from the bathroom. He looked at the Dreama on the bed and I could see the gears working in his head. “Oh, did you have a bath?”
I rubbed my temples realizing I didn’t have the brightest party member. Dreama however was delighted and chatted up Bazz. I took the opportunity to slip past them and enter the bathroom. It was a much more simple affair than the crazy one down in the dungeon.
There was a large wooden tub full of hot soapy water, with little heating cubes below its pedestal keeping the temperature nice and high. Not enough to hurt, but at that perfect point it seeped into your bones, warming you up to your core. There was a side shower that was little more than a curtained off section with a magic crystal above it to make water. It flowed down the tiled floor following a channel where it met up with the tub’s spout to drain elsewhere.
I took my time to freshen up, shower and dip into the tub for ten minutes. The hot water soothed my arches and the soap Dreama had chosen clung to my skin like a lotion. I rubbed it into my tired feet feeling places where stones had dug into.
I reluctantly got out of the bath, dried off and wrapped a towel around myself. I wanted to stay longer but I thought about Bazz. He had been stuck as art on the wall and forced to manage a gate for who knows how long.
I peeked into the room to see them sitting side by side, and Dreama laughing at some joke Bazz had cracked. I smiled seeing the two of them sitting together and the voice at the back of my mind whispered for me to get in there to spice things up. A little more wine, a few pieces of chocolate and we could probably all fit into a bed together.
I shook my head and told myself to quit it. I didn’t want Bazz to think I was some kind of freak and my relationship with Dreama had always been a warm fuzzy friendship. There had been some cold nights we had shared a bedroll to cuddle up in, but that was it.
“Hey Bazz,” I said, strutting into the room. “I left some hot water for you.”
“Thanks Willow!” Bazz smiled, grabbing a robe and jogging into the bathroom.
Dreama yawned, and stretched out on the one bed. She looked at me with tired eyes and rubbed them. I could see she was falling asleep on her feet and guessed it had been a long work day.
“Got a room to yourself?” I asked.
“No, I forgot to book one, and I got kicked out of my apartment for the month. Damn wizard apprentice was using bugs for an experiment and things got out of hand,” Dreama said, her expression souring.
“Want to crash with us, like old times?” I said, laying down beside her. I patted my towel and laughed. “I have quite the tale to tell tonight.”
Dreama’s smile touched her eyes, and she tossed her book onto the nightstand. She slid the chocolates towards me and let out a happy humming noise. “I’m all ears.”