“Why the sour look, can’t I enjoy the sights of a wonderful lady in this bleak setting?” the gate asked.

“Are you…alive?” I asked, narrowing my eyes. “I’ve seen a few magic doors, and normally they just ask for a password.”

If this mage was creating sentient doors then they might be stronger than I first thought. The gate’s face was around chest level and was the size of a regular person. From the full eyes, angular cheeks and the pair of fuzzy triangles on his head I could tell at a glance he was supposed to represent a beast folk, a cat one no less.

“Well that would have been the case, if it wasn’t for my sudden employment into the services of the master,” the face said.

“Does the master have an interest in the beast folk races?” I asked.

“I suppose enough to keep me around. I was a bard before my transformation, and I was with my party to recover a stolen artifact from some goblins. After we found the goblin’s camp destroyed we forged ahead, and after coming into contact with some…ahem… rather interesting slimes, my party ditched me!” the face lamented, his cat ears flattening.

“Did you see the mage?” I asked, trying to get the magic face to focus.

“No, I’m afraid I only saw their shadow. They haven’t left this place since…the incident,” the face whispered.

I paced back and forth humming to myself. This was getting worse by the moment, and now I had no option to escape. I took a glance over the edge and felt my knees wobble. The ravine had no end in sight, just a black maw that threatened to swallow me whole. I backed up and bumped into the gatehouse.

“Careful there sweetcheeks,” the face laughed.

“Are you some kind of flirtatious bard?” I spat.

There was an audible gasp and I turned around to see the face vigorously nodding. Despite the face looking like it was growing out of the stone gate and matching it in colouration, I could swear I saw a light behind its eyes.

“That's right! I remember now, I was a bard and my name was Bazz!” the face said, bounding up and down.

“Well Bazz, can you let me in? I need to talk to the mage, and perhaps I can ask about turning you…back to normal?” I had to hazard a guess that this change was only temporary. This felt like it was some kind of curse, and curses could be undone. Usually.

“I’m supposed to only let approved visitors in, what if you are trying to hurt the master?” Bazz asked.

I rolled my eyes and parted my cloak. Bazz went stock still for a second before rolling his tongue out and panting. I felt myself tense up and mentally scoffed at myself for what I was about to do.

“Come on now Bazz, do you think I came all this way looking like this if I wasn’t supposed to be here?” I asked, biting my lip.

“Wow, you do look good,” Bazz said, ogling my naked form. “Those nice jugs and gold hair sure do look familiar…”

I wasn’t sure if a stone gate could get worked up, but I pressed the moment, leaning against the door and pushed my bust against his stone cold cheek. I heard Bazz let out a meow and felt the rough rocky texture rub between my breasts.

“Hmph!” Bazz said, mumbling something.

“Come again?” I asked, backing up.

“You sure convinced me. Put in a good word for me if you could,” Bazz said.

“I could do that, but if I could have one request,” I said, holding up my hand and hiding the javelin behind my back. “Could you not announce my presence, it's supposed to be a surprise visit.”

There was a mechanical click behind him, and the gate went up. Bazz let out a muffled call from inside the upper part of the gatehouse as I walked under him. Now that I made it to the main entry way I was taken aback from what I saw.

A lush underground garden filled with roses and water fountains filled a rocky courtyard. Overhead there were more of the glowstones, but these ones were larger and more powerful. The light they produced was warm and felt sunny, making the damp underground cavern instead feel hot and dry. It felt like the entryway into a noble keep, with the floral scent filling my nose and beating back the damp that had settled in. I shook the scent of roses from my head and focused. I could see splitting off the garden courtyard were a dozen doors. Some large and ornate, a few small and made of the same rock as the walls to hide them in plain sight.

I crouched down and crouched against the wall behind me trying to appear small. There had to be guards or sentries, and if I was spotted in the open I was done for. I headed to my right, running up a set of stairs to reach the upper walkway that circled the garden. I went for the first small door and assumed it was a servant door.

I found a dark corridor with a low ceiling and I went inside. Behind me I heard another door open, and I breathed a sigh of relief having evaded detection. I went down the corridor with a javelin at the ready, holding it low to the ground and watched out for more traps. Of course this being an access tunnel within their own lair, putting traps on the floor for servants to find would be a terrible idea, but I wouldn’t put it past some ego maniac mage.

My nose was the first one to smell something off and I followed it. At the end of the corridor it branched in either direction and I went left, smelling burnt cooking. More servant doors dotted the wall and I picked one at random, cracking it open. I put my eye up to the edge and carefully scanned the room ahead, looking for danger.

I saw a stocked kitchen with a fireplace, stoves and tables to prepare food. It was as big as the one back at the guildhall and inside I saw motion. Short curvy girls with bright red skin, bat wings and black whip-like tails darted about the room. They jumped up into the air to hover as they wielded knives to hack up meat, and another one tossed more charcoal into the stoves turning the fire inside into a raging inferno. No wonder the meat was burned to a crisp.

I focused around their necks and saw tight fitting black collars with gold coins hanging off them. I was too far for my elven eyes to make out the fine writing on the coins, and I was more focused on seeing which ones were armed. They were imps, summoned fiends bent to the will of their master. I could break the collars and free them, but the little monsters might turn around and attack me for all the good it would do. It was best to leave them to their business and look elsewhere.

I went further down the corridor I was in and cracked the door at the end open. I saw a huge hallway with a thick rug running down the middle. At the far left I saw the garden again, and on my right was a tall iron bound door that said ‘prison’. I didn’t fancy ending up there myself, but I could use allies. Perhaps Bazz wasn’t the only adventurer that had gotten captured here.

I carefully looked along the wall and made a mental note of where the other doors were. I quickly dashed towards the prison and checked the handle. The door opened on well oiled hinges and I slipped inside, laughing internally at who would make such a rookie mistake. Inside the brightly lit prison was a single room with four wrought iron cages bolted to the ground, a desk and inside a cozy looking chair, an ogre. The huge lumbering beast was dressed up in a nice vest and loose slacks, one of the finest looking ogres in all the land no doubt. On his head was an iron helmet with a wide lip tied on with string, and tucked in his belt was a massive club capped with iron.

I held my breath and looked closely to see the ogre was fast asleep. I crouched low and leaned to the side to see all the cages were empty, a shame. I went to vacate the premises but noticed hanging off the ogre’s belt was a ring full of keys. My hands instinctively twitched, my mind already knowing what was to come next. I was naked and afraid, anyone would be facing down an ogre, but I wanted those keys.

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I prayed to the moon goddess, the silver haired dancer and to the trees in the land. I crept along the rug around the desk and wrinkled my nose at the stench of alcohol. I saw empty bottles shoved under the desk and hoped the ogre had over done it. I then reached up and smoothly plucked the keys from his belt.

The ogre let out a snort and started to roll to the side in his chair towards me. I panicked and pushed on his side, sliding him back into his chair. I jumped back when I saw him shift and readied my weapon. The ogre sleepily readjusted himself and pulled his helmet low on his head to block out the light of the glowstones, going back to snoring.

I made myself scarce and went back out the door, entering the big hallway again. I went to a servant door I hadn’t been down yet and checked the handle. The door was locked and I fished out the keys, trying each one. I heard the sound of someone walking in the garden and my pulse quickened. I tried another key and fumbled with the lock, swearing under my breath as it too failed. I saw a shadow grow near the entrance to the garden and I gave it one more chance before a fight occurred. The next key worked and I threw myself into the servant hall, closing the door behind me as carefully as I could.

I went ahead in the new hall hearing the footsteps die down. This hall was lit up by weak glow stones and I saw on the floor trails of slime. Beside the servant door I had come in I saw a mouse sized hole along the ground and figured that’s how the slimes got in and out easily. I saw four doors in here, with the last one at the far end having a marking over the doorway. It was written in a tongue I was unable to read, but the writing looked familiar, it was the arcane tongue of magic, the oldest script in the land, Dragonic.

Whatever was through that door was trouble, and so I decided a bit of exploring here might do me well. I put my ear up to the first door and hear the rattling of chains. I tried the handle to find it locked, a bummer. I tried a few keys and found the right one. The door creaked open and I stuck my head in to see a summoning room.

There were iron chains bolted to the floor, a stone table with carved lines painted on the top and burnt candles around the edges. A cauldron was in the middle of the room with a painted circle around it, and I could see dozens of geometric shapes around it. Behind it in the wall on the other side was an opening to the ravine and I could hear the whistling of wind coming from it.

As interesting as this room was I saw nothing to help me, and I moved on trying the next door. This one opened to a strange jumble of items. I saw a table with a chemistry set on it, primed and ready to create alchemical mixtures. It wasn’t a terribly good set, and I could see the glassware was cracked in some spots. Yet the rest of the room made less sense as I saw large open clay pots, glass aquariums and barrels full of salt. There were slime trails coming out of the pots and I had to guess this is where the slimes were made.

I did see potions on the desk and I let myself in, careful not to slip on the slime. When my sock feet touched the floor I felt some slime come up between my toes and I shivered at the weird sensation. The warm gel seeped into my tired feet and soothed them like a relaxing balm. Heat ran up my legs and I felt my breath quicken. Trying my hardest to ignore it I went to the potions and checked them over.

There was a potion of healing, strong enough to cure cuts and bruises, but not strong enough to mend bones. There was also a potion of water breathing and I checked the label to see it was listed as being able to last an hour. Lastly there was a potion of mist form, a popular escape tool of magically talented rogues the world over. As long as the brewer knew their stuff these potions could be a boon, or at least worth a decent sum of money. I tucked them into my bag and looked around to see if there were spare work clothes in here. To my dismay there wasn’t even a work apron and I was left being naked.

I moved towards the door and felt slime drip off the ceiling. The warm gel struck my shoulder and ran down between my breasts causing them to warm up. I felt my nipples push against my cloak and I let out a small yelp of pleasure. I felt something reaching for me and I spun around bringing my javelin up.

I speared the end of a slime’s tentacle and tore it off, sending it hurtling towards the work table. It hit the glassware with a wet slap and broke a beaker, sending shards of glass onto the floor. I hopped back in time to dodge the slime dropping off the ceiling and threw my javelin at it. The javelin sunk into the blue blob and I saw a white fist sized stone move within its jelly body. The core of the slime was its weak point and I took out another javelin with my target in sight.

The slime threw itself towards me and I tried to side step it. I slipped on the slime trail and crashed onto the ground. I bolted back to my feet as my foe readied to attack me again and I tried to get some distance, only to slide on the gunk on the floor. I stopped when I hit the wall, shaking a few shelves above me. Salt, soapy water and brushes raided down, pelting my back. I reached around for my javelin and heard the slime creature hop towards me. I twisted on my back brandishing the first thing I grabbed and slapped a tentacle away with a broom.

This slime was smaller than its fellows I had run into earlier, but that didn’t lessen its enthusiasm. I felt its appendages grab my knees and hold my legs while it tried to grapple my arms. I felt around my belt and took out a dagger, stabbing at the tentacles reaching for me. I scored a few hits, tearing out chunks of gel and felt the warm goop drop onto my chest. As it ran down my stomach and to my hips I felt my vision quiver as my body screamed at me in confusion.

I bit my cheek drawing enough blood to remind my body it was time to fight, and threw myself at the slime. It wrapped its limbs around my neck, hips and legs, groping me with its warm embrace. The tentacles lacked the strength of the others as I was able to tear the one around my neck away. I grabbed onto its slimy body and pulled myself up to raise my dagger up high. I plunged the blade down, stabbing and tearing out chunks until I rammed the tip into the white stone. The core of the slime split apart and the entire creature began to vibrate uncontrollably. Without the core there to hold it together the slime vibrated apart, breaking apart into a pool of warm goop.

I fell back and felt my legs shake, the vibrations stirring up carnal desire inside me. I blinked away the dizziness and rose, checking myself over for injury. I had gained some scrapes on my elbows and a few cuts on my chin, a minor price to pay for victory.

I looked around for more potions and came across a corner table slightly hidden by the door. On top of the table I saw a pair of work gloves and boots beside a wooden container to hold onto a dozen potions. I stole the gloves and boots, and tried them on, finding out the boots were too small. I kept the gloves and tossed the boots back before checking the potions. It was labelled as a vitality potion and I turned it around to check the fine print. The back label had been worn off and I checked the front of it again, peering at the words carefully. There was a graphic of a young smiling woman in a large floppy hat.

“Vitality should be like a health potion, shouldn’t it?” I wondered quietly.

I had a real health potion and I checked my bag to make sure they were intact. The potions I had stolen were made with thick, impact resistant glass and were still in perfect condition. I wanted to save the health potion for an emergency and I downed the vitality potion.

I felt something change in me and I checked my elbows to see the scrapes had gone away. I looked around the room one more time for loot and found a journal under the broken glassware. I flipped through the pages to find some excellent penmanship and notes on slime creation. The formulas went over my head and I continued to flip through to find something useful.

The last entry was about the vitality formula and saw a large warning at the top that it was only for women. I stood still and felt a tingling sensation run down my chest. Concerned, I read over the entry carefully looking at what I had just put into my body.

“...this potion will improve the immune system, enhance stamina and make the user feel a greater sense of self. Side effects include nausea, dizziness, increased bust size and… wait, what?” I mumbled opening my cloak. “What the fu-”

My breasts had gone from small handfuls to a whole bra size larger. I grabbed onto them, feeling a shiver of pure bliss shake me and felt moisture between my fingers. White droplets were forming at the tips of my nipples and I picked up the journal again.

“Side effects can last up to one moon cycle. Two of our female test subjects mentioned spontaneous milk flow lasting several minutes,” I looked down to see droplets drop onto the slime covered floor. Morbid curiosity filled me and I flicked the tip of one breast, and lapped at it. “Strangely sweet. What kind of messed up wizard makes this kind of stuff?”

I checked around for more info but found the journal lacking. As I walked around the room the sensation passed and my breasts became a touch smaller, still a bit bigger than normal. A part of me hoped there were a few more of those potions, I knew a few people that would probably sell me their house for a batch. Sadly this was not the case and I only managed to find a drawer full of rejects.

I didn’t dare try out more mystery potions and went towards the door. As I reached for it I heard a woman scream in frustration and something impact a wall. I poked my head out and heard more furious yells. It came from the door at the far end, and I crept along to get closer. As I got within touching distance of the door I heard a dark, grim voice on the other side.

“...for the last time, your experiments have failed to impress me. If you do not produce a valuable specimen I shall cut your funding, Orinda. You may have your fathers blood, but you are no true mage.”

“I’m a powerful dragon and a powerful witch. I will unlock the secrets of this ancient elven blade and I’ll show you why you should invest in me, Master!” a woman spat back.

“Find its owner and spill her blood onto the blade. I’m sure that will get a result. Now be off with you, I can tell when you have been using magic for your own lustful ends,” the grim voice said, sounding exhausted.

I gulped. I guess there really was a dragon here after all.