I'm beginning to seriously regret my purchase. It was the end of the school week, and I decided that I was gonna binge on snacks, illegally stream movies. and live a little, but my sea salt flavoured Kettle chips didn't want any part of that. It decided, "I'm gonna taste like ass" but that's not what I had in mind! Was I cursed or something? I remember pissing off an emo during school, but I seriously doubted he had any magical powers! Heck, I bet that guy didn't even read a single Harry Potter book, but he can have magical powers, and I can't... Fantastic! Halfway through the failure of a movie "Hot Bot", I only had only put two of those abominations in my mouth, but when I decided that I could try to get used to the taste, I reached my fap hand into the packet, and in the blink of an eye, my room disappeared.

"What the fuck?"

Not only had my room disappeared, but so did my clothes, my bed, my tablet, my headphones, and all my other stuff. I stood up to look around, but I wasn't in an urban area, only a forest. I was naked & afraid. I spotted something white in my far peripheral vision, and it was the Kettle chips. I expected myself to get mad, but at least I had something with me. I picked it up and searched my surroundings even more, but there was nothing else; imagine what someone would think if they saw me like this. I tried to rationalize what was happening as a prank, but how would my stuff just disappear like that? Would it even be legal to strip an adolescent without their consent on TV, or anywhere outside TV? What the heck happened to child protection laws? I had no option other to start moving and find out what had happened.

What sucked about this was, that I was without shoes. I had walked for three hours straight, but there was no sign of life other than insects, or deep, low frequency sounds that I would hear every so often, that I could only hope didn't come from some damn predator. It was only an hour later, that I come across an animal that I wouldn't expect in a forest. And they were chickens. They were surrounded by a tall and very ghetto looking wire mesh, and near them, a hut. Although it would be awkward explaining to the resident(s) of the hut why I was naked, they might be able to clothe me and give me directions to a city, a village, or just some type of civilization... if they can speak English, that is... Damn, it would suck to be in an Islamic Republic Country...

I knocked on the hut door, but I didn't receive any sort of response. I knocked again, but alas, I was still without a response. I began to search the perimeter of the hut to find any windows I could look through, there was one, but when I looked inside the hut, there was a bed, a man sleeping on top of the bed, and a fair maiden in the same bed as him. I knew they weren't dead, due to the rise and fall of their chests, but how come they didn't answer the door? I knocked on the window, but they still wouldn't answer. But now, I was confident that they knew of my existence because their bodies tensed up every time I knocked. This time, I pounded on the window before the woman had decided to notice my existence, and with an irritated face walked over to the window, pulled it up, and began to speak.

"Can you plea... Oh dear... Why are you naked?"

I sat in a seat, snuggly wrapped in a blanket, still unclothed, Kettle chips surprisingly still in hand, while they set fire to some firewood, and prepared a broth for supper.

"Please do forgive us for ignoring your existence while you were knocking, travelers usually appear every 600 days, yet, you arrived a few days early, and naked at that."

She points at a calendar to clarify her point. She marked each day with an X, and in a box with the day of the month which was 5, she wrote 'Visitors', but it seemed that the third day was marked, meaning I was three. At the top of the calendar, it wrote '6th month'. Perhaps there were no names for each month of the year? Anyways, I nodded my head as a response.

"My name is Alexandra, and this is my husband, Rodney. Please excuse him for being unable to talk, as he is mute. We take care of and teach the basics to those who are destined for the 'Monster Tamer' class until you have acquired enough knowledge and skill for us to deem you worthy of being allowed to receive directions to the city. There are many different classes, but you will automatically receive the class you have the most aptitude for, and the race which will suit your class the best."

While she was explaining this to me, Rodney had opened a cupboard and collected clothing, a staff, and corn, which was probably for the chickens outside. He placed the corn in a cloth pouch the size of an adult hand, fastened it with string and walked towards me to hand me the clothing and items.

"Okay,err... My name is Matthew, also, where can I wear these clothing?"

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

"Are you unable to clothe yourself here?"

"Well... wouldn't you would be able to see me naked?"

"Worry not. I am a married woman, and you visitors from Earth are a bit too underdeveloped in certain for my tastes."

She seemed to be speaking the truth. Rodney was a rather muscular man, but what did she mean by "certain areas"? If it ends up meaning my magical Johnson, would that mean I'm below average? That would be a pretty harsh reality, especially because I was rather proud of my size... I faced away from the two adults and covered myself with the blanket while I clothed myself, I peeked into the blanket only to notice that my body hair ceased to exist, it vanished, it disappeared, it was no longer there... I don't even know how I didn't realize it during the 4 hours of walking, unless I was spooked to the bone, or something.

"Errr... What happened to my body hair?"

"Well, this earth's humans are different from your earth's humans, and when you get transported into this world, I already told you that your race automatically gets picked. Also, only certain humanoid races can grow body hair, while some can't even grow facial hair. Even most beast-kin races don't grow body hair, I suppose it's just how we were made?"

"So, I'm a "this earth" human?"

"Not quite, your genetics are different, and you produce pheromones that help pacify animals and monsters alike. Did you also know, that your race is actually the most popular with beast-kins?"

Just as I was going to respond, the broth that was previously whistling quietly through the hole through the lid, began to emit a high pitched screech, and the lid was jumping up and down. But, if the broth hadn't interrupted me, I would've told her how offended I was by her assumptions, as I was obviously a quasi-super-demi-apache-attack-helicopter-other-kin, but I felt there was no longer a point in doing so, because the broth would just keep interrupting. Nah, I'm just goofin'

"Well, what do you know? It's already supper?"

Supper was quiet, probably because Rodney was disables, and nobody was bothered enough to make conversation. Alexandra then gave me a paste which I was to rub and clean my teeth with, before pulling out a feather filled mattress out of a cupboard, which I was to also sleep on.

"Try to sleep quickly, because we're going to have a busy day tomorrow teaching you, and get you familiarized with your new flame-breathing hen."

I couldn't help but to smile, I should probably be worried, but this was actually pretty nice. While I was at home, I never was physically active. Maybe I'll get to taste some advent- wait... fire-breathing...

I tilted my head, looked out the window, and I could barely see the hens in the darkness, but one raised its head, and surely enough, it breathed out flames, like spraying air freshener onto a safety match, lighting up the previously dark room.

Shit.

I bet it wouldn't be able to handle my sea salt flavoured Kettle chips though...