My dearest beloved,
I wish you a wonderful day. It’s a beautiful day outside~ so be sure to receive my next gift, darling. It’s a purple parasol I personally imported from Alamed, so that you will be reminded of my presence whenever you look at the sky. If you unfortunately choose to decline it, I will send a gift from the Selen Auction. It reminds me of your beautiful pink eyes, and if that gift is not received, I will still find ways to please you. My dear I have heard stories of your recent training. I had written in the last letter how proud of you. But I want to remind you once more. Darling, please continue to struggle. I hope you struggle, feel your muscles burn and ache, and when you train you think of how lovely it would be to see me again as a reward for your efforts. I was just having a talk yesterday with Charlotte from the Louise family. The little fool decided to tarnish your name, so I dealt with her. Darling, the next time we meet I hope you praise me~ Darling, I hope your father will think well of me…Darling, I noticed that the Kurton Manor has been ill managed…Darling, your lovely painting of the doll…Darling, your presumptuous maid…Darling, your wardrobe…Darling, your skin…Darling, a few days ago that steak…Darling, your clothing smells…Darling….Darling…Darling…
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
I love you I love you I love youI love youI love youI love youI love youI love youI love youI love youI love youI love youI love youI love youI love youI love youI love youI love youI love youI love…
I love you dearly,
–Your dearest. I will send messages soon before the Lulari Celebration.
With the greatest affection,
Lavender Dacre
“My…this is flattering. Ash, it seems that you’re loved and well liked. I stand corrected.”
“I thought that crazy bitches fucking messages were intercepted!. It wasn’t supposed to be like this!”
Jackson imagined the vague shadow of a crouched figure clutching at its head in pain. With a little smirk, the author amused himself with the thought of Ash stressing and running away.
“So you’ve been getting them for a while?”
Here it was. The legendary dark letters. The beginning of his descent into the burning trash pile of doxxing and his precious r*lex.
The fond memories were coming back. With a dramatic tear wiping hand motion, Jackson thought to a certain tw**ter feed.
@squiggyboberayt
UPDATE: The Morose Assassin will be renamed to: The Obsessive Love Interests are all over me, kya~
New chapter today! Learn about the mysterious past of the Earl daughter. Lavender Dacre’s enthralling love for Ash.
Follow me on:
Ins**gram: squigglybobbertt Facebook: squigglybobbee RoyalRoad: squigglybobbay
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The hell just happened.
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Send F in the chat guys
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F
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F Ash. You will be missed.
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*sobbing in the background* OH LAWDDDD Ain’t no way bro just did that ☠️ What the hell is going on
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His life satisfaction went up immediately after he posted. If only he was still behind a computer screen. In the comforts of his little cozy apartment, where he had a pile of b*d weiser and instant ramen, cackling along as he searched up what the hell an eiffel tower fucking position looked like.
Instead, he was next to a noisy ass brat…
“Kek.”
He tapped the letter against his palms. Although he laughed, it wasn’t all that funny when he thought about it…
A chill ran down his back as he recalled the positions he had to research. God, xxx on xxxxx in xxxxx…nope.
It was really, really starting to register into his mind.
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
Xxxx on xxxxx in xxxxxx to xxxxxx and then xxxxxx….. Bleep * bleepp * bleeeeeep* Bleepxbleeep…xxxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxx
“Wait, wait wait. Is this actually kind of bad!?”
With a sick look on his face the stressed author clutched at his head.
“I don’t wanna get screwed or kept in a basement!!”
“Fucker how the hell did it take you so long to realize?! If you know the future, hurry up and figure out how the hell to get that bitch away!”
“What the hell am I supposed to do when I don’t know where she is right now…hmmm. Around this time… before the Magisterium…?”
At this time of the story, Lavender should’ve been living comfortably in the Dacre territory. She was the adoptive daughter of the Marquisate and enjoyed a luxurious life as their sole daughter.
Despite being in a high profile family within high society, Lavender had an elusive reputation due to her young age. At fourteen the noble girl had yet to have her debutante. Without being officiated into high society her presence would consist mostly of rumors if he tried asking for her now.
That meant he could only go off of “The obsessive love interests are all over me, kya~!”
The difference between Ash and Lavender was like night and day. One was the bastard son of a Count whereas the other was the sole daughter of a Marquisate. The Kurton territory was not well off, the Dacre territory was very prosperous. One was well received for her beautiful appearance, and the other was scorned for being rumored to have a beast specter commoner for a mother.
You may ask how Lavender initially met Ash, and what attracted her so much to the boy. If you asked Jackson, he had not the slightest clue.
Lavender was a last minute throw in after debuting his novel as an adventure story…and now he was tasting the pain of his plot hole.
Wait. He almost forgot about the main character of the story. Which means everything fourteen years prior to the novel should be an open book!
“Ash, this is very important. How did Lavender end up obsessed with you?”
If possible then it was best to get Lavender to lose her interest in Ash, and the bad ending flag could be avoided entirely.
“The hell should I know!? All I know is that the creepy letters starting arriving after I got dragged to a fucking noble meeting. I haven’t even seen her fucking bitch ass face there!”
Useless. With an annoyed expression, Jackson sighed and slumped onto the ground.
“Oi get off the floor my clothes are getting dirty you dumbass!”
Jackson propped his head up by using his elbow as support. He shifted onto his side and laid like a greek statue. With an elegant wave of his hand, he raised his limb to pick at his nose.
“You fucker!!”
Goddammit. Jackson was out of clues and methods to get Lavender off his back.
The Lulari Celebration that Lavender wrote of was happening in a month in celebration of King Andre’s Ascension. The Celebration would last for a period of five days in which separate gatherings would be held for socialization amongst noble society, including a day for foreign delegates and a private occasion for the higher ranked nobility members. Most if not all Windcir nobles would attend and even the bastard son Ash Kurton was no exception.
It was only natural for one of the cornerstones of Windcir, the Dacres, would attend the occasion as King Andre’s strongest allies.
And that was the part that fucked Jackson up.
When he thought of bleep bleep *** bleep *bleep* and then bleep* bleep….
Fuck it. He was going to survive for two years until the beginning anyhow… and then he could predict Lavender’s behavior.
What triggered her the most was seeing Ash lose his cool. As long as he could switch places with him just before, it would be simple to deal with.
If everything went as planned, then with Hubert’s training Ash should be strong enough to evade Lavender’s capture.
More importantly was what came after evading Lavender.
“Hey, Ash. Other than Corvina and Lavender, do you know any other crazy women who have a thing for you?”
“Fucker, don’t put Corvina on the same…no. There’s no one else other than them.”
Seems like it was as he was written. Poor Ash. Well, he was going to have to get used to it… because there were three other heroines he prepared in two years.
One of the heroines of course had to be a maid, because the hell. Who didn’t like maids? An older woman who took care of Ash.
On top of that, the childhood friend was a classic. A sadistic woman that made his m fanboys tremble in happiness. Lavender was perfect, not to mention she was an elegant noble lady from a prestigious family. There was nothing more amusing than seeing Ash, the screechy assassin get dragged along in her antics.
The third, fourth and fifth heroines however…all of them were in different countries. There were two that he would have to avoid at the academy, but the fifth heroine was someone he wouldn’t come in contact with unless he purposely sought her out.
“Oi bastard! Listen to me you useless nobody!”
For now, there was only one thing to do. A serious glint entered Jackson’s eyes. It was time to focus on training to run the hell away when they go loony on him.
There was no other greater perk than being an assassin.
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The next day, Jackson didn’t run away. Under the skeptical gaze of a certain assassin trainer, the writer completed Ash’s typical morning of getting ambushed by Hubert before running the laps, training with Gilleon, and finding ways to attack the assassin.
Ash was the most dubious and concerned of them all but the young teenager said nothing as he watched Jackson do his training as the two switched off.
The day afterwards, and the day after that. A few weeks had passed when the results began to show.
Faster, with more force. Strong enough to build the strength necessary to learn Hubert’s craft. The more skills he developed, the more he realized how much he still had to learn.
How far could he go? In this world where Ash was destined to become strong, Jackson knew that Ash’s strength would become his. Even as a fourteen year old the fruits of their efforts were showing. Their efforts would not go to waste, and the two of them would become stronger. It was the both of them that would develop a singular body’s strength, embedded with survival instincts and the fruits of their duo labor.
And, to top it off. The reason why he became strong, the reason why he fought harder. The reason why he had to become a better version of himself.
Was to get the hell away from those crazy women.
The two cohabitants of the body made their first tacit agreement. They slashed hard at the training dummies. They obediently obeyed a dark faced assassin. They even listened to Nico’s nagging, and fought hard against Gilleon.
All for the end goal of surviving a certain obsessive girl.
Jackson thought back to a certain incident where he finally realize how badly in danger his ass was.
There was a certain pile of mysterious letters. They were pleasant to look at with delicate cursive Laivean, on crisp sheets of paper scented with the fresh smell of flowers. Superficially there was nothing wrong.
With “I love you” scribbled all around the pages, most would assume it's lovely messages from a lovestruck maiden, conveying her affections to her beloved. But on a closer look there were too, too many. They piled sky high in differing colors of pink and purple. They were a collection of letters from years on years of nonstop writing, with “I love you” on the envelopes and scattered everywhere throughout the pile of envelopes and letters. After “I love you,” it was “Darling…”, “Darling…” and still more “Darling.”
“I’ve tried burning it. But the moment I raised the fireplace stoker, a servant barged in and told me the heir of Dacre’s, that crazy bitch, had a message. She told me, ‘to have each and every letter intact unless you want to be punished severely, darling~’ In that fucking stupid ass tone…that bitch! I tried to intercept them. But she camouflaged them. I even tried to discreetly burn them again but the wind blew it away from my hands! I tried handing them off. But they appeared on my desk again…This is just a pile of fucking cursed items! Fuck it, it was going so well for the last three months…how the fuck did it start again!? Shit! Shit! Shit!”
With his hands clutching the side of his head, Ash looked as though his sanity was escaping his grasp. Except, Jackson couldn’t really blame him.
“...my pure eyes… my eye–maidenhood!”
Sobbing and wailing around in dramatism, Jackson had another disturbing revelation that day despite his seemingly comedic gesturing.
The more he cackled and sat on his ass when creating new ways to torture Ash, the more he was getting screwed over by his own written female heroines…and now he had to run harder unless he wanted to get fucked in the xxxxx or xxxxx on xxxx in xxxxx....
“My poor ass…a brave soldier.”
A single tear glimmered at the corner of his eye. With a carefree but dead smile on his face, Jackson completed another lap before starting the next one.