Chapter 4
Life is a Memory
There was nothing Asher could afford in either the Upgrade Store or the Furniture Store. The cheapest upgrades were to Health and Damage, both costing 30 Souls while he, as well as everyone else, only had 10. The furniture store was even more depressing--both in fact that it, also, required Souls currency so they were forced to choose between comfort and growing stronger, but also in the fact that the few things they had the ability to unlock were all far too expensive. Just a simple Wooden Chair cost 100 Souls, while something more complex like Straw Matress cost a whopping 800 Souls.
Really, there was only one thing they could afford, and it was found in the Tavern--alcohol. One jug of rather awful wine cost 2 Souls and everyone save the teenage boy bought one and drank it in silence. Since they were technically in competition with one another, nobody seemed that willing to be friends, though, at the very least, he now knew everyone's names: the self-assured savior of the world that was the teenage boy was called Zane, the short woman was called Isabella, the man whose age was still quite ambiguous was called Gerard, and the other man in his fifties was called Qut. And yes, he had to spell it out for them.
An hour passed rather quickly and, without a warning, Asher was yanked back into his room. The stress of everything melted him and he collapsed onto the floor, breathing speedily. Only seven people out of 200 survived... and, were it not for Qyne, he would have also just become a depressing statistic. As though she could read his mind, she appeared in a puff of smoke, fluttering in front of him, her expression rather mischievous.
“... thank you,” Asher said. Though she ripped through him like a storm, she also saved his life.
“Aww, yeah, that’s a good look on you,” she said in a moan. “Despondent, decimated, stupefied. Nothing gets me going quite like a lesser thing finally capturing the futility of their existence.”
“Ha ha,” Asher laughed weakly, leaning against the wall. “Yeah. I... I don’t even know what to think, to be honest. I was never exactly good under pressure, but this thing... sheesh.”
“Yuck. You were only shit-ugly, but now you are just vomit-inducing.”
"Ouch. Hey, can I ask you something?"
“No.”
“Considering that the furniture and upgrades both use Souls,” he ignored her rejection and asked anyway. “Could it be that, at some point, people can opt into just grinding familiar maps for Souls and buy furniture to upgrade their comforts?”
"Why? Are you interested in becoming a hermit again?" she fluttered over and landed on his nose. "Scowling like a pathetic, worthless, rotten worm, blaming the world for everything that went wrong with your life?"
“...”
"Comfort is a privilege earned by the strong and wilful. Pathetic bugs who surrender themselves to cowardice... they all perish, in wind and smoke. Looks like I made a mistake in helping you, after all."
"... I once had a panic attack because I woke up one morning in shivers," Asher smiled weakly and spoke. "For like thirty minutes, I was beyond convinced that I'd contracted rabies. Didn't make any sense, considering that the reason I believed that was that a dog scratched me the day before. Which, you know, isn't even in the realm of how to contract rabies. However, for half an hour, I was convinced I was going to die. I am pathetic,” he scowled at himself. “I’ve spent all my life in hiding. Watched others live life as I just... meandered about.”
“...”
“Even now... all I want to do is curl up on the bed and wish away this reality.”
"Wow," she exclaimed rather flamboyantly. "Was that your worm-like attempt to curry favor with me? To make yourself seem so pathetic that I'd have no choice but to take pity on you?"
"It's tiring, Qyne," he said, lowering his head gently as she flew down and landed in between his knees, looking up at him. "Being afraid of everything. Always waiting for something to yank at your brain... so it breaks for seemingly no reason. But... I do want to change. Then again, I’ve wanted to change for a long time.”
“... as much as I love the stench of depression that you are oozing right now,” she said, smiling. “I do have to interrupt you: I can’t fix you, nimrod. Nobody can fix you.”
“...”
“Except you.” she added, stroking her chin. “We have a saying among the fairyfolk--only the broken know what it is to be whole. Of course, it's spoken in jest and used as mockery for the most pathetic, self-serving vermin who think their pain exempts them from living, but perhaps for you, it applies unironically. I won't save you from stupidity too many times. Prove to me that you are worthy of me... and I might yet stop seeing you as subhuman."
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Asher smiled ever so faintly as she disappeared. Closing his eyes, he raised his head and leaned fully on the wall behind him. The weight of life was always pressing--whether it was the need to go to school, to go to work, to take care of one’s kids, or even to simply live through a day without succumbing to the intrusive thoughts. But, in some ways, being here was much simpler, as there was only one source of weight. All he had to do was survive. Live. Persist and prevail.
He didn’t know when he fell asleep but, by the time he awoke, he could feel his stomach ache. He hadn’t eaten in quite some time and as his eyes veered to the left, he saw the loaf of bread and some water sitting on the plate on the ground. The food he wouldn’t even look at twice before suddenly seemed as tempting as a seductress.
Though the bread was hard and effectively tasteless, as was the water, it was enough. The hunger disappeared as well as the thirst, and he felt renewed. With determination on his face, he stood up and started lightly stretching after which he did a simple workout routine. He hadn't worked out since the third grade when he joined his school's basketball club for a few months, but if he was to survive he knew he had to do it. Not necessarily because it would make him stronger but because he'd have to center his mind on something. And, perhaps, it might even make him ever so slightly stronger.
He lasted a good twenty minutes before he was sprawled on the floor, breathing heavily and covered in sweat. His arms were wobbly and heavy, and he regretted drinking the water before the workout. He realized rather fast that he should have bought another bottle of wine for the cabin specifically, a mistake he wouldn’t be making twice.
There was nothing else to do--Qyne never showed up, and there was nothing to indicate the passage of time. The silence was terrifying, as was the isolation. And though he was comfortable with being alone, this was much worse. There was only him and his thoughts, and he didn’t trust them in the slightest.
Luckily, it had to end at some point, and it ended with the writhing sensation of pain. He was briefly bereft of light before the world blinded him--he was back not at the plaza or the void, but on the Grassy Lowlands. However, this time around, the arena increased in size—twice as much, per his quick estimates.
The world was paused still, three screens in front of him offering the same starter weapons as yesterday. And, just as yesterday, he elected to go with the Wooden Staff. As soon as he made the choice, time came undone and the shadows of monsters appeared on the horizon. Immediately, he was startled.
There were twenty of them--all spiders just as yesterday. He aimed and began firing, one ball of fire after the next, finally remembering after a few kills to ‘look’ to the side where the objective was listed.
Quest: Grassy Lowlands [II]
Survive: 0:13/5:00
Reward: 100 Souls / 2 Divine Gems / Active Spells added into the pool: 6; Passive Spells added into the pool: 3; Passive Skills added into the pool: 5
Bonus Reward: 4x Jugs of Water
Asher felt faint for a moment.
He had to survive for five minutes--a rather short time in the embrace of a loved one, but a rather long one encased within the shadow of death. It began with twenty spiders, and it would only increase from hereon, he knew. But there was no escape. No respite. No roof to hide under and no other person to cower behind. It was all on him--live or die.
He leveled up soon after.
Just as yesterday, he elected to go with the Staff upgrade, increasing its damage by 1. Suddenly, twenty more spiders appeared on the right of the mass moving toward him. He continued to fire off the fireballs, actually walking up closer to the monsters so that the hits registered faster and so that he could corral the two separate groups better.
Wooden Staff [UPG+2]
Level: 3
Effect: Shoot a fireball in the direction you are facing, dealing damage to an enemy. The fireball homes in on the first enemy in its trajectory. Has a 2% chance of exploding on impact, dealing damage to everyone within 2 yards radius.
[Uncommon Effect] -- if the fireball kills the enemy, it explodes into 6 embered shards that fan out in a 1-yard circle, dealing damage to the first enemy hit.
Damage: 3
Attack Speed: 1 attack per second
Nimble Footing [Rare]
+0.5 Movement Speed
Level: 5/50
Wooden Staff [UPG+2]
Level: 3
Effect: Shoot a fireball in the direction you are facing, dealing damage to an enemy. The fireball homes in on the first enemy in its trajectory.
[Rare Effect] -- the fireball Ignites the target, turning it into a living bomb. The target takes 1 damage per second. If it dies within 10 seconds, it explodes, dealing 5 damage to everything within 10 yards. The explosion has a 35% chance to Ignite the affected targets. If the target survives past 10 seconds, the ticking damage is increased by 100% every extra 10 seconds until the target dies, but it does not explode.
Damage: 1
Attack Speed: 1 attack per second
He was already conflicted--all three choices were rather good. Movement speed was the safest one, but considering the number of enemies, he definitely needed more firepower at the moment. He was tempted to go with the same upgrade as yesterday, but eventually made a choice to go with the ‘Rare’ one. While it dealt less direct damage, with some luck and good ‘herding’, it could chain into one explosion after another.
It immediately did, in fact--just as forty more spiders appeared, the first living bomb went off. The explosion shook the entire arena and even temporarily knocked Asher down on the ground as he wasn't prepared for it. Rapidly getting up, he aimed the staff once more, just as chains of explosions started going off. Rather than being terrified... he felt joy. Within just a few moments, he'd leveled up again.
Muscle Training [Uncommon]
+15 HP
Level: 2/99
Ignition [Rare ]
+15% to Fire and Explosion Damage
Level: 1/5
Fire Slash [Common]
Level: 1
Effect: Slash forth, invoking the Spirits of Fire and creating an arc of flames 4 feet wide. The arch travels in a straight direction, dealing damage to the first target it hits, ignoring part of the target's defenses. Has a 1% chance to become 'Double Cross Fire Slash', firing off two arcs.
Damage: 5
Defense Ignore: 30%
Cooldown: 3s