Chapter 11
To Live is to Suffer
It was an impossible choice from the onset.
Asher stared emptily at the three screens in front of him--Zane was wielding a bow, running back, and shooting arrows at a rather high rate of over one per second. Every so often, the arrows would split into three, or they'd double up, and he even saw him cast a fire-encased arrow once. He had several wounds across his body visible through the tattered robes, and his Health indicated he had pithy 3/15.
Richard, on the other hand, wielded a mace and a shield--it was an unenviable position, needing to stand within, at most, a couple of yards of the massive monster beset on eating him.
Lastly, Mira wielded a staff--it was likely that the ‘game’ took away her choice of melee weapons altogether--but was struggling to dodge a barrage of arrows flying her way as she was fighting a skeletal archer of sorts as a monster.
It wasn't certain that any of the three would die--there was a good chance they might eke out a victory if the dice rolled their way. However, Asher joining would likely tilt the favor well into their side. The problem was his current state--even if he recovered back up to half his Health, without actually healing up his body, it was almost worthless.
His right arm was damaged beyond the point of being usable--he couldn’t lift it, let alone hold a weapon with it--and even the left one was creaking as he had to use it occasionally to alter the spear’s trajectory. The knife wound in his thigh was still hurting and though the bleeding had stopped, it was probably because time itself had stopped. As soon as it started moving, so would the bleeding.
Beyond all that, he was just... exhausted. In body and in spirit.
His hands were shaking, his heart was burning on both ends, and his legs simply wouldn’t listen to him, as heavy as lead. And if he elected to help them... who would he help? If what Qyne told him about Zane and Mira was true, they were beyond just ‘bad people’. They were outright evil. And if the pattern matched, Richard wouldn’t be much better either.
No... those were just excuses. Excuses of a man with a weak will and the guilt beginning to permeate and seep into his bones.
“... I can’t,” he mumbled softly into the wind.
“... hmm?” even though he couldn’t see her, he could hear her smile in her voice. “You can’t... or you won’t?” she asked coyly.
“...” Asher grit his teeth and lowered his head. The world was calm and still as he mutely passed judgment on everything, himself included.
“There is no sin in staying your hand, pathetic little vermin,” Qyne said after prolonged silence. “Unity of man is espoused by those who have a want of you--rulers asking the common man to march into war while they sit in their ivory towers and their thrones. Unify for the sake of our Kingdom, for the sake of our Empire, for the sake of our Nation! But when the common man needs their Ruler... suddenly, solitude is the virtue, and being able to stand tall on your own two feet, without any help, is how a man ought to live.
“Help others only when you can expect nothing of them... and be sated with that world. Can you afford to help them and expect nothing in return?”
“... you’re cruel,” Asher sighed.
“Wow. You’ve just picked up on that?” Qyne exclaimed, appearing in front of him. “You’re a whole lot stupider than I thought. Cruelty is a whip that gets the mule moving, after all.”
“...”
"All the same, the choice has been made," she said as all screens vanished. The pang of pain that usually shook him was barely noticeable amidst everything else as darkness swallowed the world ever for a moment. When he opened his eyes, he was in his cabin rather than on the plaza. "You will be moved to the plaza tomorrow," she grinned. It was just further fuel to his guilt--he'd have to agonize over whether they survived all day long rather than knowing immediately.
Completed: Grassy Lowlands [III]
Rewarded: 200 Souls, 2 Divine Gems, Chosen’s Choice
Bonus Reward: 2x Jugs of Water / Second Daily Meal for 7 Days
Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.
Performance Rating: 28/100
Evaluation: Pathetic
Time Until Next Map: 47:59:31
Emergency Quest ‘Make a Choice!’ Completed.
Choice 1 Was Selected!
Reward: Your rewards from clearing the Stage will be doubled.
Rewarded: 200 Souls, 2 Divine Gems
Bonus Reward: 2x Jugs of Water / Second Daily Meal for 7 days [14 days in total]
Chosen’s Choice cannot be doubled... Calculating...
Substitute Reward: You may change your Starting Weapon freely once every 30 days at no expense.
The rewards barely registered as all he wanted to do was collapse onto the bed. Even though his body had healed fully as soon as he entered the cabin, as though nothing had happened, his mind was a wasteland of exhaustion. As soon as he lay his head on the pillow and closed his eyes, he fell asleep, drifting dreamlessly.
As soon as he woke up, he groaned; he could feel his head slowly beginning to split open. His eyes, in addition, felt heavy as though encased in molten gold, and the desire to lift his head from the pillow was all but non-existent. But... he had to do it. The growling of his stomach wouldn’t allow him to rest.
Pulling himself up, he walked to the kitchen where he saw two meals--they were identical, the loaf of bread and the water, but they may as well be something out of the top-notch cuisine considering how hungry he was.
However, he didn't wolf the meal down--instead, he ate in small-sized bites, taking a sip of water in-between. In the end, he managed to save half a loaf for the next meal. One and a half loaves of bread... that was his meal. More so than strength to live, he'd lose the very will to live if his diet continued to consist of bread and water for much longer.
He was too dazed to go through a workout so he simply went back to the bed and closed his eyes. He couldn't sleep, far from it; all he could do was think about the past that he so desperately fought to bury... but to no avail. He buried it shallowly, so shallowly in fact that all it took was three days for the demons of this place to dig it up. The very nature of his place still confounded him; it was not to make them stronger, and it was not to weed them out for some higher purpose, at least he didn't think so.
Was it truly just for entertainment? Were there higher forces looking at them right now and laughing at the misery? Were they like animals in a zoo, observed and taken pictures of, robbed of their freedom, debased for their natural instincts?
It was lonely.
The room was silent.
The human mind was not made for this kind of silence.
This kind of solitude.
A pang of pain shot through him; however, because of yesterday’s experience with pain, it felt almost dull now. Just like the headache.
As he opened his eyes, he saw that he was back on the plaza. Though he tried his best, he couldn’t steel his heart--it beat loudly. However, the sight that welcomed him was far wilder than anything he imagined--there was a sea of people straddled around the plaza, all looking about. There was anger and fear and excitement and pain in their eyes, mingling like the lovers in a dance.
Nobody could speak or move, yet again, as the dapper eagle appeared once more in the sky above, looking down at the masses.
"Pathetic," he said. "Ye petty worms that struggle in vain... Ye have now ventured hither, so be it, in some slight measure, proud. There be no freedom, no hope, no light for any of ye—naught but toil, to break, and fail. Ye hath reached the very heart of yon colosseum, yet how long ye shalt linger... shall be determined by thine own worthlessness. Thou mayst roam the plaza for an hour, to thy heart's content. Amongst thee fresh visages, some have trod further still, writhing in their desolate existence. Ye may employ thy rewards to solicit their counsel. I ponder," grinned the eagle. "How much value shall they ascribe to thy lives? Ha ha ha! Paragons of virtue, oh ye futile beings—yield yourselves to misery!"
The world unfroze and the eagle disappeared. The confused crowds began to look around, likely seeking out these ‘experienced’ ones. Asher was the same--not because he wanted advice, of course, but because he wanted to see whether they were all there.
He located Qut first--he was just a few yards away from him, also seemingly looking for others. The man nodded toward him and Asher replied, looking away.
He found Gerard next; the man immediately proclaimed that he was one of the experienced ones and that he was selling information, swarmed by those nearest to him.
Isabella, seemingly not wanting to be left behind, did the same.
His heart stopped for a moment and he breathed in relief--Zane was there, too, leaning against one of the buildings as though none of this had anything to do with him. He survived.
After a bit more looking around, he also found Mira--she stood out, but because she was quite some ways away, he’d only just now noticed her.
However... no matter how much he looked, he couldn’t find Richard anywhere. He looked and looked and looked... but the man wasn’t there.
“So, the sadistic fatty died, huh?” Qut appeared next to him suddenly and said.
“... the sadistic fatty?” Asher questioned.
“My fairy helper mentioned,” he said. “He used to pay prostitutes and lure them to hidden locations where he’d... well, you can guess the rest.”
“...” Asher remained silent but unsurprised. “None of us are good people.” He said, prompting Qut to look at him in shock for a moment before smiling.
“... that’s true,” the man said. “I guess your fairy shared the info on me?”
“...”
“Ha ha,” he laughed gingerly for a moment. “Aah. Do you think the newbies are the same?”
“Who knows?” Asher shrugged. “Aren’t you gonna tell them you’re selling information?”
"Aren't you?" Qut asked right back. But Asher... Asher felt that something was off. Neither the eagle nor the people who 'employ' it are nice. They didn’t suddenly change their tune for some newcomers. “I knew you were smarter than those morons, at least. Well, I got some stats to upgrade. You should too, before the shop is swarmed.”
Asher didn’t object, following behind. Chances were that either the information Asher and others could provide would be totally worthless as the stages themselves would be different, or they’d require the people to have spent the Souls on upgrading their stats to pass. It was all a big game, a big undercurrent trying to sweep them with missed hints. And it was all angering and frustrating... and yet not something he could fix, only obey.