"I lost some of my memories." After saying this, I didn’t think that her reaction would be so severe.

She stood up and screamed, "WHAT!?"

I didn’t know how to react to this. Who the hell was she? There was no NPC like this in the game. Should I treat her like a normal human being?

"Are you alright?" She leaned over the table and grabbed my shoulders. Her mad-looking eyes contained concern and anxiety.

I was never the one who could read other people after glancing at them one time. It was an inheritance from my father. He always told me that I should doubt and think over everything. That was the only method to at least try and differentiate the truth from the lie. So when I guessed what type of person someone was, and Andrew told me I have a talent for reading people, I always brushed it off. It was luck. That's what I thought in most cases.

But right now, I couldn’t doubt things like my father taught me. It was almost written on her face, how she felt that I was her possession and someone messed with it.

Even though she looked more like a delinquent from manga, the way she behaved was frightening. Yet somehow, her actions calmed me down. At least she wasn’t an enemy, well, judging by her actions.

"Can you please release me?" I gently took her hands away, "And please sit down. You're attracting too much attention. I will explain everything in a second."

"Alright, but you better not joke around with me."

She calmed down just in time. The waiter brought us our drinks, a simple tea for me and some fancy-looking coffee for her.

"If you would excuse me." I took a sip from the cup. Indeed, it wasn’t bitter. As I placed the cup back, Her eyes started looking bloodshot. "Cough, it's to wet my throat."

"As I said before, I lost some of my memories. Back in the hospital, they said that I only lost some of my minor memories. So they probably…"

"Fucking bastards!" She slammed her fist onto the table before I could've even finished my phrase.

"Which hospital was it? I'm going to fucking end this piece of shit doctor who treated you."

"You should probably calm down. People are watching." I was getting tired of being brought into the center of attention by those around me.

She looked at everyone like she owned the place and everyone around was mop guys. Finally, she sat down, but her little outburst and the fierce glare made everyone who looked at us turn their heads away, and one guy who just entered left the coffee shop.

"Do you feel better now?"

"No, I'm not. And by the way, how can you be so chill? Aren't you worried that you forgot something important?"

"That's because you should listen to the people finish what they were saying. Probably they made a mistake. But I can return my memories as I interact with the people and listen to how I was. It's what they said.`` After saying this, I finished the tea in one gulp. Maybe it was an expensive tea that I should savor, but right now, I was too nervous and wanted to drink something, anything.

"So it's like this," she narrowed her eyes.

"Uh-huh." I nodded.

"And your memories would eventually return?"

"Ye-yeah." I've had a feeling. If I even dared to have thought that I can't return the memories, she would hear those thoughts and tear me down. My back was once again covered in a cold sweat.

"Alright," surprisingly, she let me go and took her coffee, "So I guess that explains why you don't know…" She changed what she wanted to say, and I swear I saw how her pupils flickered. "Don't remember me."

"Yes. That's why it would be more reasonable if I am the one asking questions."

"Alright," she took a swig of her coffee, "So I guess I should introduce myself? I'm Mara Sobol, a sophomore at Birchland High, nineteen years old."

"And who are you to me, perhaps a friend?"

"I'm…" she stared at me for a second, and then a smile so pure and warm, a smile that could melt anyone's soul, bloomed on her face. "I'm your girlfriend," she tried to say it in a nasal, cute voice, though it didn't work with her natural raspy voice and sounded more like growling.

"And the truth?" not a single muscle on my face moved. I knew that she was bullshiting judged by her actions from before. But how should I react to it? This girl probably would cave my skull in if I said something wrong. I could only maintain a straight face.

She tried to look kind and still smiled for a minute or so, but seeing how I still sat there with a poker face, she gave up.

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"Hmph, fine! I'm your girlfriend-to-be." Once again, she tried to act cute and pouted, but rather than cute her piercings made it look comical.

"That… doesn't sound like a truth either." Her name wasn't recorded anywhere on the phone, and I doubt she would wait before visiting me if she was in love with me.

"Gosh, what the hell happened to you?" She threw her hands up. "Are you sure they didn't do anything to you?" She drank her coffee in two big gulps. "I confessed to you two times and got rejected both times. Are you happy now?"

"You, did what?" I couldn't believe this. It was something I didn’t expect at all. Actually, what the fuck? It sounded less and less like a game.

"Hey, what happened to you? It is me who should feel devastated, don't I?" I guess it was her way to cheer me up after seeing how I looked.

I think no one would look normal in such a situation, and I wasn't an exception.

"No, it's just… You know, don’t mind me. I just need some time." I cupped my face so that she couldn’t see it. What the hell was happening.

I couldn't stop all these thoughts.

I want to wake up from my bed like this is a bad dream. I want to eat breakfast with my family, my real family. Joke around with Andrew while a boring lecturer narrating something to us. My boring, uneventful life, where I knew what to expect from tomorrow.

"I WANT TO GO BACK TO MY WORLD!!!"

I wanted to scream this on top of my lungs, but I couldn’t. I was scared, scared of what would happen to me. When I previously read novels about people who were placed in a different world, I always thought it was cool. If it was me, I would be the toughest guy. Even when I go through the hardest challenges, I would grit my teeth and become a winner in life.

I knew how to endure bad things that happened to me.

But the reality of things proved me wrong. I somehow got through the first few days, but it was all a fake bravado and luck, that the host of the body acted similar to me. All the thoughts I locked up and tried to ignore all this time rushed to me like a tide.

I was out of options. I didn't know what to do. Fear tied my hands firmly, muffled me, and paralyzed me.

I wanted to cry and run away from this, from this town, from this world.

I wanted my peace back.

"Erlig, are you okay?"

Mara's voice brought me back. She, she is the one that shouldn't be here.

I can't run from this, I can only play my role and hope. It wasn't long after I came here, I will wait. The game could've changed. As for her, she was just an NPC I've never met, yes an NPC

"I'm okay." I raised my face.

"You don't look okay to me." It was the first time since I met Mara when she sounded genuinely worried. Huh, I must be looking like shit right now. Still, I would've gladly exchanged her worry for never meeting with her.

"Yeah, you are right I'm not okay, I'm sorry." I didn’t want to look at her. I tilted my head upward and looked at the ceiling. "I wanted to talk to you too, but right now, I want some time to think."

"I guess."

"Can we continue this conversation later? I need some time alone."

"Okay, but you should give me your contacts."

I silently gave her my phone and took my bag so I could leave immediately. After she finished typing everything she needed, she returned it to me.

"I'm sorry that it ended like this, I will be going." After saying this, I went off.

It was evening already, but I didn’t return straight back home. I walked to a park and bought a pack of cigarettes and a little pack of matches. This body was eighteen years old, so I bought it without any problems. I didn’t like to smoke, but when I needed to muddle my mind and didn’t have any alcohol, cigarettes were the next best choice, strong ones.

As I found a bench in a less crowded part of the park, I sat down. Lighting up a cigarette, I browsed my phone for some chill trap. Half a ciggy later I achieved my goal.

My mind was clearing. All the thoughts gradually left me, and the only thing that I had in my mind was a sunset, cherry-flavored smoke, and a woman's vocal in the song.

Unlike the booze, I didn’t get more drunk as I smoked more cigarettes. One was enough.

I didn’t know how long I was sitting like this. I went back home when I got a message from Annie, asking where I was.

The aftermath of smoking all disappeared as I walked home. There was no further trouble with Greg and Ann. I told them that I was late because of the Jet and company.

After eating a late dinner with them, I went back to my room.

"Right, I've got homework to do."

As I was browsing through the study books and answering the questions one by one, it was soon time to go to sleep. As I put my phone charging near the pillow, I went to wash myself up. Even if the "parents" didn’t feel anything, I could've smelled the tobacco. I hated this smell.

When I returned back, there was a signal on the phone that a new message came. It was from Jet. He asked how it went with Rose.

"Sigh, and how should I answer this?" I was at a loss for words. How can you prove anything to the person who already decided on what to believe?

"It didn't go well." After typing this back, I got an answer almost immediately.

"Cheer up big guy. You will win her heart next time." In the end, there was an emoji of a smiling face in black sunglasses with his thumb pointing up.

"It doesn’t matter. By the way, do you happen to know Mara?"

"Wow, why did you bring her up?"

"I met her today, and we talked."

"You what?" The smiling face he sent earlier now had his sunglasses lowered and a mouth gaping in surprise.

"It's because of the memory."

"Oh right. I already forgot about it hehehe."

"Can you tell me about her, I don’t remember anything about her."

"Well she is kind of famous in the school, so it is kind of strange that you don’t remember her." he sent an emoji once again. This time the smiling face held its hand on the chin.

God, I hate emojis.

"I'm surprised as well, so why is she famous?"

"Well, she is famous for being a slut."

"A slut?" This is fucking excellent. For fuck sake, whoever was laughing at me right now can go fuck himself.

"Eh, it's not like she sleeps with everyone. She indeed changes her boyfriends rather frequently, but it's not why she is called a slut. How to explain it."

I patiently waited for him while lying in bed.

"You can call it a hunt."

"Hunt?"

"Yeah, she is kind of hunting, the guys that caught her eye end up as her boyfriends in a matter of a week, and then she throws them away."

"And I've had bad luck enough to attract her."

"Yeah, pretty much it is like this. Big guy, ignore her as you did it before. It's late, so I will go to sleep. See ya at school." a smiling face at the end.

"Fuck! Let me take a break already fucking game." as I muttered this, I closed my eyes.

Yeah, fuck everything. I would be victorious in the end. I will endure and return to my world.

But it was too early for me to understand. It was all bullshit from the beginning. I needed to take everything in my hands and stop running.

And my hope, huh.

Hope was a lie.