As I was slowly trotting back home, Mara's words were stuck in my head.
In the end, what was happening to me?
It was like my personality was slowly getting eroded.
Day after day, I was slowly getting into the loop, where I spent my days mindlessly aiming for nothing in the end.
Why did I force Violetta into a one-sided relationship with me? Was it my true feelings when I did that?
As I looked through my phone, I made a route for myself to get back on foot. From the deepest part of the bag, I've taken a crumpled pack of cigarettes that still had a few cigs left. The only problem was, I didn't have any matches or a lighter.
"Excuse me, do you have a lighter?" as I walked to the nearest bus stop, I asked for help from a random passerby.
With a nod, he lit my cigarette.
"Thanks." As I nodded in return, I continued my stroll.
Was I really giving my all?
That was a good question. What happened with my friends, with my life values, what was my goal.
Friends, what are friends? Is Jet my friend? He sure thinks that I am his friend. But what about me? Jessie, I felt like she was a great girl, and I did want to become friends with her. But I noticed that after I started training, she was shortening the time she spent with me. Was I the only one who wanted to become friends?
Joanne is... a headache.
A headache I don't want to think about. In the end, Joanne made her choice. It doesn't matter if she cheated or not and with whom. What matters is that I can't be friends with someone who loves me. That's for sure.
Mara. I couldn't wrap my head around her. In the end, what was her goal?
As I used the end of the cigarette to light another one, I felt like I was forgetting other people.
I've had an opportunity to do whatever I want, to become whoever the hell I imagined. Yet I chose to become a copy of myself.
And who was I?
Victim?
Rapist?
A manchild?
Perhaps a lost soul…
I hated thinking about it. Why the hell was it getting so complicated? An enormous ball of tangled questions with no answers. I didn't know a thing, yet I was constantly placed before the choices.
As I smoked the rest of the pack before I got home, the day was coming to an end. It was getting even more chilly as I finally made my way back home.
I talked with my parents about nothing in particular. After telling them that I may be late tomorrow, I spent the rest of the day trying to unwind.
The next day I took a bus to the gym and started a long and arduous training of my stamina. A whole bunch of different exercises that came apparently from CrossFit.
When my training session finally came to an end, I left the gym in a sour mood. The thoughts that were plaguing my mind had zero intentions of leaving me alone.
It was already getting darker, and I didn't even notice this. I spend almost all of the day inside without looking at the windows.
After saying my goodbyes to Patrice and Jessie, I walked outside and got a call that I was expecting. Before I could even answer it, the call ended, and I saw a familiar car, a large black SUV.
I guess she wants me to go there?
Going closer, one of the doors, on the other side of the car, opened up. Honestly, it looked like if I sat here, I won't ever return back.
As I sighed and clutched my bag tighter, I circled the car and got into the car.
"Good evening Erlig. How was your training today?" Mara smiled, looking at me, as well as surprising me with her appearance.
Her clothes consisted of a long fur coat, black leather pants, and a small red tube top. Her long hair was gathered in a tail on top of her head. Her aggressive makeup, along with her piercings and spiky earrings, made her look unusual, to say the least. She looked like someone you would find hard to talk to.
"Why the long face?" she lifted her eyebrow while there was a small and playful smile on her lips.
"Cough, no, it's just that you look… uhm… not like usual." Although she was bold, I didn't think she would be this bold!
"You should be at least this showy in the place we would visit."
As I closed the door behind myself, our car immediately started. As Mara slightly swayed, her coat was falling down, exposing her bare shoulders. I didn't know if it was deliberately done by her.
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"Ahem," I looked away, "So, where are we going?"
"Oh, we are lucky enough as it won't be long if we don't end up in a traffic jam."
Just, as usual, she didn't like to answer my question, choosing a roundabout way.
"But what is it?" I turned to look at her once again. "Just say what kind of place are we going to visit? Is it a cinema? Or a restaurant? Arcade center? What are we even going to do there!?"
"Pfffhahaha, look at yourself! So serious." and the only reaction to my rant was a laugh from her side. "Relax, you can say that it's something like a fighting club or an arena. A modern-day coliseum."
Coliseum? Fight Club?
"Why are we visiting such a place?"
"This… you will learn after we enter it." as I looked uneasy hearing this, she hurried to add. "Don't worry, you won't be in any kind of danger."
"If you say so." I've already promised her, and she had a lot of chances to harm me. I can only leave myself in her hands.
The gym of team Brave and Bold was closer to the side of the city rather than the center. Yet, instead of going closer to the gym, we continued to ride to the other side of Kibryn's outskirts.
The scenery soon shifted from the large number of one to three-storey buildings to a large number of warehouses. Storages that looked like huge hangars were interchanging with a substantial amount of vacant land.
It was appropriate for me to be afraid of going here. A large amount of graffiti and garbage that was everywhere here, in these abandoned buildings, didn't instill a feeling of security.
Instead, this feeling of fear was slowly mixing up with excitement, especially when I looked at the enigmatic smile of Mara.
At the end of our ride was a three-story building that was clearly out of place. There were some shipping containers spread in front and the sides of the building. It was almost wholly made out of a white stone and had an intricate design that was heavily inspired by the medieval style. Was it Barocco?
Anyway, it was more suited to be a small theater or something like this. That way, it can stand in the center of the city, rather than standing down here.
"We're here, so you should wait in the same place as usual." as Mara was getting ready to go out, she made an order for the driver.
"Understood." was the only word he said since I sat down.
Both of us got out of the car.
"You can leave your bag in the car." Mara slowly stretched while her coat was still opened, exposing a fair share of her skin.
"Okay." I shook my head to tear my gaze from her body and left the bag on the backseat.
"Now, you should just follow me." as she was about to walk away, she swiftly turned around on her heels and reached out with her hand. "And give me your hand, pretty please." she smiled for a second.
"You want to hold my hand?" I… didn't want to have excessive skin contact with her.
"No, in fact, I would like to hold something more than your hand," she sighed, "However, this isn't the reason why I want you to hold your hand. It's so there won't be any unnecessary trouble and attention, got it?"
I nodded and reached out with my hand.
"Good boy!' she smiled once again and held the tip of my fingers in her palm.
We were slowly going towards the building that had a dim light going through the windows.
"Until we reach our seat, you don't need to talk with anybody. Just follow me silently."
"Is it necessary? If it's so serious, wouldn't it be better for you to choose a better location?"
"Are you having cold feet now?"
After going to the wooden front door that looked heavy and had an intricate ornament, we entered the building. The insides held the same aesthetic as the outside. With expensive carpets, carvings, and paintings, the lamps were stylized in accordance with everything else.
And not much of a reception.
A single barstool with a young guy in a vest, strict-looking pants, and lacquered shoes sitting there. A doorman, perhaps?
"What's with the guy Mara? Finally, found someone to feed the dogs? Or perhaps it's something more serious this time."
"Talking big as usual, Christoph." she snorted. "Your service would be much better by solely saying if my balcony is ready, instead of asking unnecessary questions."
"Why, so thorny? Or is it because of… the guy?" Christoph smiled and nodded in my direction.
"For the love of God, shut up and answer my question." Mara rolled her eyes while fixing her coat with her free hand.
"Like there would be anyone here who would dare to take your seat."
"That's better." she clicked her tongue and pulled me towards another door.
After going inside, there was a staircase that led to the upper floors plus two more doors. As Mara mentioned balcony, it was reasonable to go up, which we did.
Walking through the hallway, I managed to see a few other people. They all looked unnatural. The building itself was oozing high-classiness. However, the people all looked gaudy. Men wore expensive suits that had stunning amounts of eye-catching patterns, gold and silver colors. Heavy necklaces were covering a large portion of the chest area. And to top it all off, strange hairstyles made with heavy usage of pomade.
Women wore a lot of fur on top, while the insides were all skimpy clothes. They all had an excessive amount of accessories and aggressive makeup.
Walking here in my simple and plain clothes, which consisted of a simple beige sweater without any embroidery and jeans, I felt out of place. Was there some kind of strange dress code here?
Still, if I excluded the strange look of the people here, it was a high-class establishment. What made it into a fight club? I wanted to ask a lot of questions. But I remembered that Mara told me to be silent till we are left alone.
After walking for a minute or so, we were met with yet another door. Without waiting for anyone, Mara opened the door. We walked into a balcony that had plenty of space inside. There were a few armchairs that were made with a lot of velvet.
As I looked around, I noticed that there was a table near one of the armchairs. On a table stood a bucket full of ice and a bottle inside of it. As well as a few wine glasses and a plate full of various snacks.
"Click." I heard the sound of the door closing.
"Phew, now we finally can talk without any fear of interruption from anyone. You see, the doors here only close from the inside. It's to ensure privacy, as well as to respect the guests." Mara started walking towards the table and took a bite of a small canape.
"That's why you asked if anyone took your balcony?"
"My, you are so smart! How did you guess?" she smirked while I scowled. "Anyway," she walked towards the guardrail and looked down into the darkness of this building. As Mara leaned down slightly, she hummed something. "We arrived just in time. The show didn't start yet."
The only thing that had a light on were other balconies, but due to the way this building was built, we couldn't get a clear image of who was in or what the people did there.
She fixed her fur coat that once again left her shoulders completely exposed and sat in one of the chairs.
Putting both of her arms on armrests, her left hand held her chin as she took another canape and swallowed it whole with her right hand.
"What are you doing standing there? You should accommodate yourself."
But I couldn't shake this stupor that easily. After all, Mara right now looked like a queen. With how lazy her attitude currently was. She sat in this chair, leaning sideways, her coat almost falling down. Leaving her body exposed. The interior of the balcony somehow emphasized and enhanced her beauty. There was an unexpected matching of her outfit and the burgundy red velvet of the heavy chair.
Just like I was fascinated with her right now, she was probably fascinated with my reaction. She showed me a beautiful smile.
"You should sit down. The show will soon start!"
Her grey eyes were shining.