Snap! Snap! Snap!

I danced with many more stars in that terribly splintery chair.

Beautiful. Gorgeous. Dazzling. Stars.

As strange liquids were pumped into my veins and odd smoke was drawn into my lungs, I lost myself to a strange sort of fugue state. Odd colors and swirls seeping from reality into my world of stars and back out again. Swirls of multicolored smoke and bits of flesh painted every single one of my many fractured realities into a collage of bright and confusing colors.

Snap! Snap! Snap!

A laugh left my swollen lips for the third time in minutes. It was caused by a brightly colored explosion followed by the splattering of flesh. I don't know when it happened, but manic giggling had replaced my screams. Who cared if it made the other kids look at me weird? It felt good to giggle. It felt good to dance with stars.

Snap! Snap! Snap!

The pain and emotions had long ago left me. It was like I was living in a dream. It was like life honestly wasn't that bad anymore. I was like I had a reason to live.

Even if I hadn't remembered it in the longest of times.

And so I sat there just enjoying it all. Watching and waiting as both my mind and body crumpled. My flesh undulated in odd ways as my vision twisted and twirled.

And that was why I felt nothing at first when the boys came out. I had simply thought they were a figment of my imagination. A creation of my broken mind. But as they grew closer and closer and their voices grew louder and louder, I tossed that conjecture out of my mind.

The boys were real! Actual living things! They had to be!

That's right, the boys. Other teenagers. Humans, not at all older than me by a year.

Though they were obviously not from the grasslands, I wouldn't have blinked once if I had seen one in my village. They were just that ordinary. Just that normal looking. Just that…. happy looking?

They wore an assortment of strange clothing. Some, oddly cropped black leathers Others, a collection of furs, teeth, and skins. Some had swords, and some had knives. One had an axe, and another had a flute.

So they were cultivators then. Sure, they were missing the long flowing robes, but no mortal group of boys would dare walk around carrying such weapons. It would have been death or forced recruitment had a wandering mercenary group or army seen them with such weapons.

As the saying went, if a boy was brave enough to carry a sword, surely they were brave enough to fight. Even in a place as relaxed and kingless as the grasslands, such rules of life had been widespread.

Perhaps it was the work of cultivators, or maybe just the natural progression of things, but most mortal kingdoms had such thoughts about weapons. Or at least they did according to my village chief. What a smart guy he was, shame he got chopped to bits.

A new tear streaked its way down my face, but on the inside, I still felt numb.

Something was very wrong with me, and I didn't know what.

But that brought me back to the boys. The cultivator boys…

Why were they so happy? Laughing and jostling about like that. Horseplaying as they hopped and skipped past rows and rows and rows of tortured children.

Didn't they see the carnage around them? The young boys and girls with the tubes and talismans? Didn't they see the horror? The bodies of those who couldn't withstand the odd liquids?

Why weren't they rushing to help? Why weren’t they screaming and crying and sobbing like we were? Why weren't they tearing and ripping out talismans and tubes as they called for help?

I wanted to struggle, to shout, to cry out to them. To desperately claw their attention off of the strange game of hopscotch they were playing as they meandered about.

I really, desperately, soul-searingly, wished to scream and shout for help in that moment. But, I couldn't. I was a prisoner in my own body. Forced only to watch as strange liquids and miasma were pumped into my very veins.

It was horrific. It was absolutely agonizing. It was oh so unbearably painful.

Snap! Snap! Snap!

Didn't they see us?

Didn't they see me?

How could they smile while walking through a place like this? How could they laugh while surrounded by death and destitution?

Did they not hear the explosions as kids exploded? Did they not see the pieces of flesh strewn about the oddly warm ground?

Snap! Snap! Snap!

That's it! Maybe they couldn't see us! They had been blinded by some strange spell. Their spirits were trapped within a formation of unimaginable power.

Snap! Snap! Snap!

Maybe they were brave cultivators that had fallen into a demonic trap! Maybe they were here to save us! Maybe there really was hope! Maybe we really were saved!

Snap! Snap! Snap!

That one in the front with the jade broadsword, he’s most definitely the dashing young master of a righteous martial sect! And the one in the beast leathers, the one with the dashing smile, he’s most definitely a charismatic body cultivator! The ones with bodies made of steel, perhaps that is why he had fallen for the demonic trap. That one had definitely forgotten to strengthen his mind! But worry not, it was the one in the back with the flute that would notice how odd things were. He was the one who would break the spell and lead the others into saving us ! We were saved, we were saved !!!

Maybe my uncles and aunties were right. Maybe there was good in this world. Even if it came along too late.

“ How cute, this one thinks we're here to save it. “

I blinked. My eyes swiveled to see a new boy. One that I hadn't seen before. One that had slunk out of the rainbow mists like a ghost.

This boy was also pretty normal looking. Perfectly average in every way imaginable…

He had eyes, a nose, and a perfectly fangless mouth. He was completely normal looking. No evil at all could be found on his face. He did not at all look like a demon.

And yet, with long dark fingernails, he caressed the crisscrossing tubes that had been stuck into my bare chest. Flicking them as if to invite the flow of more miasma and strange liquids.

So the boys…. They could see us… So they could see me. They were not stuck in any spell or formation of any sort. But why then were they not helping?

The question filled my mind as the rest of the boys approached me. Like ghosts, they swiftly meandered out of the rainbow fog. All crowding around my little chair as they began to poke and prod at me.

“ How pathetic. You think the shrimp will survive? “ Said the boy with the broadsword. Chucking as he reapplied several fallen talismans to my body. An odd grin filled his face as he did so.

“ Meh “ The one with the beast leathers replied. Tightening the ropes that bound me to the chair. “ We have too many extras this year. This is one of the batches where the Esteemed Elders plan on taking advantage of that, I doubt he makes it past half off the special treatment planned out for this group “

“ What a shame… I wanted to scope out the recruits for good potential, but it turns out I’ve been forced to rake the burner crop “ The boy with the flute pouted. “ At least the pay for this job was rather good. “

“ A few medallions and a fermented corpse, what do you mean good? Has your self-worth really fallen to the aspirations of a mortal? “ The boy with the beast leathers scoffed, sneering as he lathered my skin with a nauseating fatty oil. “ The only reason I’m here is that its an easy job for some sect credit.“

Job? Batch? Stage two?

The words circled through my mind as the boys left just as quickly as they came. Each and every one of them sent me an uncaring look before they vanished into the multi-colored fog. Laughing and chatting once more as they found their way to the next survivor.

Emotionally and physically I was shattered.

The pain that wracked my body redoubled as talismans and tubes shocked and screeched as they roared back to life. Invigorated by their readjustments and re-applications they drilled ever deeper into my flesh. Changing me in ways I couldn't even begin to imagine…

Snap ! Snap ! Snap !

In the end, however, it wasn't the physical pain that hit me the hardest. But the near shattering of my world. It was the idea that regular-looking people. Children even; could do such terrible things.

Good was meant to be good. Bad was meant to be bad.

Demonic cultivators were meant to be devils! Evil! Strange-looking things! Old wiry evil things!

But those boys… They were so normal looking! So human! So regular! So beautiful…

How could those regular boys be demonic cultivators? They looked just like me. They talked just like me. They looked like mortals just like me.

Snap ! Snap ! Snap !

How could they have done this to me !!! HOW COULD THEY HAVE LEFT ME LIKE THIS !!! HOW COULD THEY HAVE DONE THIS TO ME !!!

It made no sense. It made no sense. It made no sense. It made no sense. It made no sense. It made no sense. It made no sense. It made no sense. It made no sense. It made no sense. It made no sense. It made no sense. It made no sense. It made no sense. It made no sense. It made no sense. It made no sense. It made no sense.

It made no sense.

Snap! Snap! Snap!

Not only that, but this was just a job to them. A regular yearly occurrence.

Something to do while laughing and joking around.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

Those boys… Those cultivators… Those demons… They weren’t even in charge of the matter. Just temporary farmhands brought in to help till the fields.

They were getting paid for this. They were getting rewarded for causing this. They would be compensated for their abominable actions. Compensated handsomely if one of them was to be believed.

That was what broke me. My first run-in with demonic cultivators. Disciples not yet one year into their training based on their complaints.

It wasn't the murder of my village that broke me. Not the torture that had been inflicted on me, nor was I broken by the awful sights I had seen. It was seeing regular boys, regular people. Participate and callously benefit from this ungodly horror. They laughed at what was going on. Smiled while dancing between corpses. Lived for the smell of blood in the air. And they were not but a single year older than me. They were not but young boys.

What was wrong with the world?

And so, laughed, and I laughed, and I laughed. Stuck in a valley of ever-present multicolored fog, I found myself cackling.

I cackled still as the fog began to clear and a strange rock began to lower from the sky. The mists around it pulsating as it got closer and closer to the sea of tormented children and corpses tied to chairs.

I of course knew what it was. The boys had made sure I knew. They had wanted me to spend the last moments of my life in terror.

Their words reverberated in my head as my vision warped in ways unimaginable and the very world around me twisted and turned. The words of that strange, evil ghostlike boy. The one that had approached me from behind.

The words that he had made sure I heard…

“ We must move on quickly, we do not want to stick around for what the Esteemed Elders have in store. “ He had warned his fellow disciples, his fingers digging into and kneading my cheeks as he did so. At the time I didn't understand, but in my madness now I did. He wanted to hurt me. He wanted to feel me hurting.

“ My Eldest Senior Brother has informed me of what the Elders of the twisted peaks are planning to unleash upon these mortals… A twisted fragment from a hidden realm. A slice of pure insanity… “

He paused, his fingers digging into my shoulders as he breathed out a gust of putrid air for dramatic effect. He had wanted me to hear his words. He had wanted me to fear them.

“ Many of our senior brothers and Elders have been using this fragment to train their malice. To delve deeper into insanity. To train in the building of an accursed heart…. But what will happen when a mortal finds themselves exposed to such a potent tool…. What changes will come over their petty little minds…. Especially after being pumped full of random demonic fluids ? Is it even possible for them to survive ? “

It was after that, that the boys left me. Laughing and joking as they pondered what would happen to the puny mortals exposed to the strange artifact. They left laughing and joking as they discussed what would happen to me.

They left laughing at my expense.

Snap! Snap! Snap!

But that was then, and now was now. And now it was ‘the second round’.. Now was the time for that “experiment” to happen. Forced upon me by someone I had never met.

They were expecting me to give up. They were expecting me to wilt and wither. They were expecting me to die.

Even my double, my exact copy, expected me to give up on life. Telling me how odd it was that I was rejecting its offer. Laughing at my helpless struggles. Judging my odd tenacity.

But it really wasn't odd. It wasn't at all strange that I was still alive. That I had survived all of this unnecessary torment.

It wasn't because I was brave, or especially talented. I didn't have a strong will whatsoever, nor was I special. But I was still alive. And for some reason that was all that mattered.

And so, I laughed. And laughed, and laughed and laughed, and laughed.

It was a mad laugh. An angry laugh. An ugly laugh. An empty laugh. And a pained laugh.

I laughed as a world of stars and a world of empty madness smashed together as the artifact unfolded before me. Its unholy grace seeping into every bit of my soul as it descended from the sky.

It was a simple rock. Nothing special about it. Except for the fact that even it, as a rock, was somehow infinitely more powerful and important to the rest of the world than me. Or my village?

Isn't that funny? Isn't that delightful?

Empty it chanted.

Empty it whispered.

Empty is screamed and howled and raged as it tore apart the world around it, breaking itself free from the strange invisible force that had floated it down to the endless sea of chairs filled with corpses and half dead kids.

“Empty…” I whispered back. Because at the moment, that was exactly how I felt.

—------

I didn't quite know when the weird rock ‘artifact’ left.

I didn’t quite know anything really.

I was just, completely and utterly broken.

Alive. But broken.

My body. My mind. My soul. And my spirit had all been forcefully taken from me. Had all been forcefully changed. Molded into something I was not.

I was now something I had never been, and never wished to be. I felt it in my flesh, cold and dense. My body had been thoroughly transformed. Into what ? I still did not know…

Something dark and twisted had taken root in me. Something unnatural.

Something broken….

I was broken….

Oh so beautifully broken.

I was so broken that I did not notice the ropes that bound my wrists being cut apart.

I was so broken that I did not move when a clay doll, perhaps the same one that had killed my village, picked me up once more.

I was so broken that the corpses of the other surviving children didn't even phase me. Emptied and horrifying hollowed out as they were.

I was so broken that I did not register sharp claws patting me down and dragging me down a deep dark hallway.

Though, perhaps I did notice it all. Perhaps I did in fact register what was going on about me. And maybe, I just didn't care.

But that didn't last long.

I was soon dragged past a set of gilded doors and up a flight of gem-encrusted stairs. I was soon dragged past armies of strange ghoulish figures praying at alters of unimaginable terror. I was soon dragged past tapestries depicting wars, and the most horrific tortures known to man. I was soon dragged past torture devices that looked to be the creation of the devil himself. I was soon dragged in front of someone I would soon have to spend much time with.

I was soon dragged before a woman.

A cultivator of great power.

Dressed in long crimson robes she exemplified opulence and matronly grandeur.

She was not at all like those boys from earlier. This woman. She was a true cultivator.

This demon. She had a presence about her. She had power.

I knew that for a fact. And she knew that I knew that.

I was tossed onto an ornate floor with a loud thud. Sprawling about as the strange creature that carried me immediately turned about to leave without a word.

The woman didn't care. In fact, she seemed to find my predicament amusing.

Smiling with elegant grace, the woman brought herself before my crippled form. Her long spindly arms reaching downward, she caressed my cheeks. Blood dripped down my cheeks as she carved into them with long elegant fingernails. Each delicate slice healing only moments after drawing blood.

I should have been scared. Outraged. Frightened.

But instead I felt comforted. Seen. Heard.

This woman was the only one to look at me in a kind way since my kidnapping. She saw me as more than just a mere mortal. She actually saw me.

I was special to this woman. She looked down upon me like I was a newborn babe. Like I was her newborn babe. She addressed me in a smooth silky tone usually only reserved for infants.

“ Oh, It warms my heart to have yet another special child get placed under my care. We had many extras this year, so we could afford to make special children like you… It's not often children like you survive such special circumstances, so we can’t do it too often. Else our sect would get very lonely. You and your brothers and sisters should be soooooo proud of yourselves. All thirteen of you… “ The woman cooed, continuing to draw bloody circles on my cheeks with her nails. My flesh repairing itself within moments only to be sliced open once again in a never-ending cycle.

There was something magnetic about this woman. She felt warm. Comforting even. And with every slice of my flesh, I felt myself fall further and further into her embrace. Her words slowly reverberated around the inside of my rather blank head.

I was so tired… So cold… So exhausted….

So done with everything I had just been put through….

It felt nice to have someone real to talk to. It felt nice to be around this woman…

I just felt empty. I just felt sad. I just felt broken.

“ I am known to most as Madam Lou…. But we shall be closer than that…. You may call me mother .“ The woman softly whispered.

Madam Lou…. what a nice name….

What a nice person…

For a moment she pushed me away. And that hurt me more than the circles she was carving into my flesh for some reason. I wanted so desperately just to be hugged and appreciated once more.

Was that such a crime ? I just felt… empty

And Madam Lou… She was trying to fill that gap… Perhaps even taking advantage of it. But I don't care. I just felt so cold…

Her eyes deeply searched into mine as her smile grew deeper and deeper.

“ Ah but a name! How could I forget? We must give you a name before I introduce you to your siblings! What shall I call you? “ The madam exclaimed. Her nails dug ever so deeper into my face.

A name? I already had a name? Why would I need a new one?

It was…. It was…. It was….

Wait a minute…. What was my name ???

That was strange….

It came from the village…From my uncles and aunties… It came from the Wind the Sky and the sea…. But why could I not remember it? Why could I not remember who I was?

Wait… I know why….

I had a name…. Had, as in used to have… My name had been taken from me….

Stollen through madness and trauma. Taken forcefully through pain and suffering…

Taken from me by the Madam and her fellow demonic cultivators….

But for some reason, I just didn't care…

I just wanted to be hugged. I just wanted to be seen. I just wanted to be heard.

I was apathetic… broken… sad… EMPTY …..

The moments in which the Madam decided my name were very confusing. Very sad to me, but as she spoke once more the confusion lifted. The void slightly filled.

“ Oh, I know exactly what to call you! It's based on that blank face of yours that I just can't help but adore! '' Madam Lou exclaimed, her voice raising in shrill excitement.

“ You, my good child! Shall be known as Victim! It's a lovely name, isn't it? “

It wasn't a lovely name. It was, in fact, so ugly that it temporarily broke me from my apathetic stupor.

It made me stare blankly up at the strange cultivator. Was this overly happy woman really trying to give me a new name? Did names work like that? My mind struggled to process what was happening and I felt hyperventilation start to creep into my lungs.

That was until a sharp slap with razor-sharp nails woke me from my anxious stupor. Two of my teeth flew across the room as my flesh and bone tore itself apart and back together at the Madam's command.

“It's a nice name, isn’t it? “ Madam Lou pointedly asked, her eyes narrowing into points. Her sharp nails were once again poised to strike. Some were filled with nothing but malice, and others were filled with an oddly painful healing energy.

The kindness that I craved had left her voice. And I wanted it back. I wanted that warmth back oh so badly…

“ Victim is a great name…. Really…. I'm proud to have it…. Madame… “ I whimpered. My bloodied throat only healed enough by her to just enough to barely give a response…

I only received another flesh-splattering slap for my efforts.

“ That is not how I instructed you to address me. “ Madam Lou scolded me, her sharp eyes boring deeper into my very soul.

“ I'm sorry….. Mother… “ I choked out just as something deep inside me broke once again. For what felt like the hundredth time in that day something had snapped within me, and I didn't quite know what.

For some reason, the Madam's next hug just didn't fill me with the same amount of warmth as it had done just moments ago. Instead, it just made me feel.... empty...