I was taught to worship the Stars, the Earth, and the Wind. I was taught to respect my elders. I was taught to follow the words of the law. I was taught to seed karma and to flow with the world. I was taught to hold revenant stories of old and taught how to play cultivator. I was taught of the world and its many ways, its many possibilities.

I was taught that you may exist. Or that you may not exist.

I was taught that you may actually be something else. Or that you may be many.

So, I ask you this question.

God. Do you exist?

God, do you ever have nightmares that you just can't seem to wake up from ? Those horrible horrible dreams that just seem to stick to you.

Adhering so tightly to your flesh that they suffocate you? Those dreams that just creep in and clog up your entire life. Choking you in their terrible sea of darkness. What about those terrible terrible dreams that never dreamed in the first place? The ones that were always reality? The ones your mind has to break itself to comprehend truly?

Of course, you don't. Your god. You don't even exist. But I do. And I’m having one of those dreams. Those dreams that I just asked you about. The ones you don't have. Those terrible, horrible dreams.

It all started the night someone lit that damn shrine. And the funny thing is? I don't even know who lit it. For all I know it still could have been my beloved cousin. Shou was it? I miss him…

I should have known something was wrong. But I was a child. I am a child. It shouldn't have fallen on me. My aunts and uncles should have known something was wrong. No one ever travels at night. Then why did they send me, not yet an adult, to attend the shrine? Was it because they felt something was going to happen? Or was it because I was disposable to them? An inconvenience they could easily send off into the night. Is that truly how they thought of me? If they truly felt something was wrong, why didn't they send the other boys and girls as well? They must have truly hated me then.

God? Why won't you answer me?

Is it because you’re God? Or because you don't exist. Or maybe, just maybe, it's because you don't care about me.

That's right. YOU don't exist. I figured it out. Are you pleased? Are you happy? Can something that doesn't exist be happy? I wouldn't know. Or perhaps I would. After all, I apparently never existed in the eyes of my family.

Or is it because you're one of the immortals? Like those bastards that couldn't even protect a helpless village in the middle of nowhere? The all-powerful beings that couldn't even spare a moment's notice for a speck of dust? The ones that can't even spare the smallest bits of compassion. Is that how things are? Is that our relationship? Everything everywhere all at once compared to a small tiny nothing?

It was a single figure that killed the entire village and kidnapped me. I know that for a fact. I can't stop seeing it. Watching it replay over and over and over and over and over again. It hurts. But are you telling me that not a single one of the immortals could have stopped that? Lady Moon? Father Sun? The Eternal Dawn? Floating Swan? Eternal Blade? The Dragon Lord? Sir Everpresent Night? Not one? Not you? Not anyone?

What about the other, lesser, cultivators? The other ones we shared stories about. The ones my Fourth Uncle found so endearing. The ones my little cousins so desperately wanted to become. The ones I secretly despised. Why couldn't they save us?

The wind did more than you. It warned me. It had compassion. It had a heart. You didn't. Maybe I should have listened to the wind. Maybe I never had to listen. If only you did your job, God. Wait…. That's right… you don't exist. You have no jobs to do.

The grassland wind is much preferable to you. That I know.

You know what God. Even if you don't exist. I'm going to vent to you. Because I’m in pain right now.

And it hurts H̸̢̳̻͝͝Ù̴̳͙̆ͅŖ̸̤̟̌͠T̸͔̋̿S̷̭̠̓̐ ̵̳͕̠͛S̴̨̜͒̽Ő̷̡͉ ̷̡͝B̸̝̫̈̐À̴̭̜̞D̶̡̹̯̊ right now.

I can feel it. The thing that killed my Aunts. The thing that killed my uncles. The thing that killed my cousins. The thing that killed my village.

I’m on its shoulder right now. It’s holding me tight. Oh so tight. It's digging into me with its fingers. It had fingers, and they have sharp nails. Very sharp nails. It isn't at all comfortable. It's bruising me you know? Everywhere it is touching me will turn all black and blue and purple. Maybe even green if its hands are covered in grass. The grass that made up my home. It isn't at all gentle with me. It's hurting me. I’m just luggage to it. An object to deliver from the sea to the sky. Is that all I am? An object?

I can feel it running. I can feel it moving. I but I can't feel it breathing. It has no breath. It has no pulse. It’s definitely not alive.

But, that doesn't matter. You would know that God. And you know why too.

I'm about to wake up. I knew that as soon as I felt it hurting me.

I knew that as soon as I started feeling it.

I used to not mind touch. I never had to worry about being hurt by it. But now I do.

Will I ever be able to stop worrying about that God? You know where I’m going, don't you? Will I ever encounter a touch I won't have to fear ever again? Of course, I won't. That's not how the world works. I learned that last night. Didn't I.

Oh, and God. Before you leave. Do you even know my name?

I do.

I know it.

I also know you don't.

And I’ll tell you, even if it has been said many times before.

It's Rook. The one given to me by the grassland winds.

The name you never even bothered to learn.

It’s a good name. One I will cherish while I still can. Why?

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

Well, because I don't know how long it will stay that way.

I hear demonic cultivators like to change the name of their prey. Replace it with something else. Sometimes with something demeaning.

Sometimes with nothing. I wonder what my name will become.

I know you don't need to wonder. You already know it, don't you?

God.

—--

I awoke to a brilliant sunrise. The most beautiful I had ever seen. It was bright, and it was breathtaking. Framed by flowing grass It sparkled in a way that I had never known possible. A new gem alight in the sky. Its light washing the grasses rapidly passing below me in gorgeous glorious splendor. Glorious greens, reds, and pinks, flowing together to form a tapestry of light and sound.

I took a moment to appreciate the fact that I was alive. Appreciate the tears that fell from my face. Appreciate the very light of the sun that I used to take for granted. That beautiful, splendorous light….

The light, beautiful as it was, was also very practical. Allowing me to take a good look at my kidnapper. The thing holding me over its shoulder as it ran tirelessly over kilometer after kilometer of grassland. The thing that had killed an entire village. The unstoppable thing.

It was an odd thing. Not a them or a he or a she. It was an it. A lanky humanoid made of clay and paper. Its arms almost as long as its legs. Tipped with long black nails. One dragged through the grass, cutting it apart as the creature ran. The other pinned me to the creatures shoulder. Like a sack of spring potatoes I found myself being carried into the sunrise. Inches from the things nails. The sharpest nails that I had ever seen. The nails that had ripped my family to shreds.

It was definitely a mindless creature. For that, I knew for certain. A tool of a demonic cultivator. Its horrific design and actions letting me know that for sure. Unless I was also wrong about regular cultivators, and they were all a bunch of useless evil assholes. Oh well.

The creature had no face. It had no mouth. It had no eyes. Nor did It have ears or any external human features whatsoever. Instead it had a blank talisman pinned against a blank mask. Perhaps the strange paper was decoration. Perhaps it was a necessary component of the beast. I would never know. I was too tired to even attempt ripping it off.

The thing's grip was tighter than iron. Its strange claylike muscle’s harder than anything I had ever felt before. Not even the few true stones I had felt in my life were so solid to the touch. Any struggle would only bruise me further. I was already tired. I was already in pain. It wasn't worth wasting the energy that might keep me alive later. So, I hung limply.

The grassland wind tried to comfort me. It really did. But in the end, it was unsuccessful. I appreciated the attempt. I really did. I just wasn't feeling it at the moment.

So limply I hung. Watching and waiting.

Watching, watching, watching as the thing ran, and ran, and ran, and ran.

The sun continued to shine in its splendorous way as we crested hill after hill after hill. Endless grass surrounded us from all angles. The grasslands were quite beautiful running along at this speed. I never had a chance to experience something like this. It was nice. If you ignored everything else.

That was until another creature joined the thing carrying me. Matching stride exactly with the one I was being carried by, they both looked exactly the same. From the odd paper-clay mixture that made up their bodies, to the talisman. They were the exact same. The new one was even carrying a boy on its shoulder. I wasn't alone.

To be honest, I kind of wish I was.

Not only would it have meant the death of one less village. But it would have meant I could have enjoyed my kidnapping in peace without having to listen to the wailing screams of that other boy.

Maybe I could have enacted a final cultivator-like scene. A young apprentice, crying out to the heavens as they accepted their fate. How poetic would that have been. Fourth Uncle might have been proud.

Instead, the atmosphere was completely ruined by the other boy.

“ Let me go you beast ! Why did you just snatch me from my family like that? Take me back!” The boy shouted. Wailing, crying, and screaming. Doing everything in his power to possibly get the strange paper humanoid to let go of him. Of course, the strange thing that carried it remained unaffected. No matter how hard the boy struggled or cried or screamed he could do nothing. I even saw him tugging at the strange talisman upon the thing's face.

Maybe he was smarter than I gave him credit for. Maybe I was the weird one having a mental break. Maybe. Maybe not. But once again nothing mattered. Because in the end, all the boys struggling ended up doing was lead the beast to grip him harder. No doubt causing him extra pain from the squeals I ended up hearing.

Even if it was mean. And very much not like me. I wished that would have at least shut the boy up, but it only made him scream louder. We were all going to die, wouldn't it be better to die enjoying the wind and sun today? Maybe even try to communicate with the other human being carried by a suspicious creature?

No?

I hope I didn't look that dead…

Though, something else in the boy's cries got my attention. He mentioned his family. Like they were never slaughtered in front of him. Maybe his uncles and aunts were still alive. I hoped they were. I would be selfish of me If I wished otherwise…. Right?

I never had time to expand upon that train of thought, because soon enough, another creature joined the two runners. A third, this time carrying a girl. Another screamer to my annoyance.

At least this one attempted communication. Well, she attempted to communicate with the other boy. The one who just kept screaming about his family. Maybe it was because I was too far away from the other two, but I really didn't get anything out of their short conversation. So I just hung limply. Sad. Tired. And feeling rather alone.

And that was when I noticed another beast carrying a teenager. And another, and another.

The beat of odd footsteps was growing louder and louder. The beats slowly coming together to form an unholy song accompanied by hundreds if not thousands of screaming children.

Within moments the entire horizon was filled with humanoid creatures carrying children. All screaming, crying, and fighting against their fate. There were a few that gave up here and there. But from the very beginning I was to only one to never fight back. The only one doing nothing but crying. Maybe I was just different. Maybe I was in the wrong. Or maybe everyone just has a different way of dealing with grief.

But this screaming, oh the screaming it was so painful. I was surrounded by it on all sides. I was surrounded by everything I wanted to avoid on all sides. I couldn't flee, I was locked into where I was. It was nauseating. It was everywhere all at once. The ground, the land, the earth, the sky. Everywhere all at once it was. Everything was beginning to blur into a cacophony of screaming and heavy footsteps. Nausea and confusion began to wrack my very being.

The synchronized footsteps. The screaming. It was all planned out, wasn't it? This nausea, this pain, it wasn't just cruelty for the sake of cruelty. Something was going on here. Someone was doing something to my head!

Something was doing something to all of our heads. The thought chilled me out of my limp stupor. Something was wrong. Wronger than I could have even imagined. My kidnappers… They were much scarier than I ever could have imagined.

This was the feeling of a spell…. One that I had only felt once in my life, when a traveling bard with slight achievements passed our village. Yet, it was darker. Filled with more malice.

While the passing stranger played with hope, whoever was conducting this orchestra only had hatred and malice in their hearts.

The screaming grassland wind couldn't help but agree with me.

I desperately tried to cover my ears, but it was too late. Not even my good friend the wind could block out the noise with its frantic howls. Nothing could block out the unholy symphony of footsteps and screams. No mortal soul could survive the song. No mortal soul could escape the spell unharmed.

It was all too much.

It hurt.

Who was I. Where was I ? What was I doing ? What was my name ? WHO AM I ? Why did I feel this way ? Why was my vision going black? Where were we being marched to? From where did we come from? What was up? What was down? What was good? What was evil? WHO WAS I ?

DO…. I…. KNOW….. WHO….. I….. AM !!!

The screams, where were the screams coming from ? The marching, where was the marching coming from ? WHO WAS I?

And as I slipped into unconsciousness something broke within me. Something very important located very deep inside of my mind.

What was it ? What was I losing ? What was happening to me ?

The world didn't answer with anything but more snapping.

Snap, Snap, Snap went some incredibly valuable strings.

Snap, Snap, Snap, went something that was very important to my soul.

Snap, Snap, Snap, went something intrinsically connected to my mortality.

Snap, Snap, Snap went my connection to something I just couldn't quite put my finger on.

I just didn’t know what it was.

I just didn’t know who I was anymore.

I just didn’t know where I was anymore.

But what I did know….

What I did know….

What I did know….

Was….

The Marching Dance of Ten Thousand Tortured Children