I stared up at the behemoth as she roared high, high above me. "Are you serious?! Why do I have to fight her!"

Aegemon ducked behind a wall of concrete and barely evaded being shredded as Ix's fiery barbs burned through the air.

He turned his head towards me, his eyes sparkling with blue flames. "Because you are a candidate for the book of NeverNight! She hunts your kind for your barbed hearts."

"I don't have a barbed heart, I never took the trade!!!" I snarled at him, I hefted the Louie Kablooie gattling gun and pulled the trigger. There was a carnival tune that played as the payload unleashed onto Ix. I had been expecting bullets. Maybe red and white rockets. I had not been expecting little chubby clowns to erupt out. "A gag gift?" I quietly asked as my brain tried to sort out things. Their clothing was every color and pattern. Some with blue hair that whistled behind them as they shot through the air. "I am going to die. I'm going to haunt Spot for the rest of eternity." I swore to myself. They were making goofy gibberish words as they slammed into her. She looked confused for a moment, but then the little fellows exploded. Big puffs of colored smoke encircling her like a rainbow of destruction.

I looked down at Spot's gun, then back at Ix as she stumbled and crashed to the ground. The little clowns were eating her corpse before she had fully settled. I felt my stomach start to heave. Aegemon walked over and patted my back. "I had not expected that. Thought it was gonna shoot waterballoons filled with paint or something. Cannon firing cannibalistic clowns was not on my Bingo card. Are you gonna be throwing up for long because we really should be going."

I glared at him in his prim and proper suit as I was hunched over and reintroducing my throat and mouth to my breakfast. I grabbed his tie and wiped my mouth off with it. "Don't!" He wailed but was too late.

I stood up, grabbed his jacket, and wiped my sweat covered face off. "Careful what you say next, I am not in the mood." I snarled again. It was starting to feel like a snarling morning. I stopped in my tirade as the little murder clowns trundle towards me. They bumped into themselves and other objects as they made a steady approach. Aegemon stepped behind me, using me as a human shield. "Keep them back!"

"They killed Ix, I don't think I'm gonna be able to stop them with an empty clown gun!!!" I crouched lower and held the gun sideways in front of me like a shield. The first clown reached up and released a catch. The side of the gun fell open, and the little fellow was hoisted up by his carnivorous companions into a small space, just big enough for him to curl up into. The rest followed suit until they were all in their slots. The last one made more of his clown squeaky gibberish noise at me as he pointed at the latch, and I gingerly closed the lid and flipped the latch.

"I was not expecting that." The blue skinned demon murmured.

"My hero." I growled, I hoisted the gun up and adjusted the thick leather strap so it fit better on my shoulder. "You're just lucky that Spot gave me this."

"We both are lucky." Aegemon corrected. All around us was the destroyed city block; the black metal barbs stuck through most of the surfaces. The red flames still flickering slightly, sending up little plumes of smoke as they faded. Brick had turned to dust from the impacts from the demon's mace, metal had superheated so much that it had turned to liquid, frozen in a bubbling state when the waterlines had burst and sent cool liquid pouring everywhere. The demon bit his lower lip, uncertainty was actually an attractive look on him; sort of humanizing. He squinted with frustration as he attempted to wipe the vomit from his tie and suit jacket. He seemed to hear my thoughts because he increased his voice to say "You are paying this dry cleaning bill. This stuff is high end."

I chewed my lip looking between him, my Louie Kablooie gatling clown gun and tried to figure out how this had all so drastically changed in such a short period of time. It had all started on a ---

"NOPE!" Aegemon shouted.

"What?"

"You are not about to start a recollection about something that happened in your past until this mess." He gestured down at his ruined three piece suit and tie. "Is at the dry cleaners!"

The dry cleaners had been expensive, I won't say how expensive, but it was worth the price so that my demon Aegemon would shut up and let me remember how this debacle had all started. It had been morning, and ice was shining, and I had been very dreary and depressed. It felt like ages ago...