Rick stood uneasily, staring up at the stained glass of the church of charity. Darkness staring back at him, dark like the void between stars. He knew that time was fast approaching, time that the champion, that Charlie had given him. Unsure what that really meant, uncertain if he should really follow his advice, still willing to do that. Charlie had, after all, risked his life. Why would Rick not trust someone who had risked themselves for him?
At least, that was what Rick told himself. Worrying needlessly, endlessly on the troubles awaiting him out in the dark, dark void. His weary mind, his weary soul, wanting rest. Knowing he wouldn’t have it until he’d gotten far, far away from this church, far away from this town. He would escape into the dark, hoping on all hope that what Charlie had meant was that the soldiers would be sleeping at midnight, leaving him a gap to escape into the void.
He started nervously tapping away at the ground, staring at the endlessly dark window, fiddling with the straps wrapped around his shoulders, connected to his pack on his back. Bobs head peaking out from the big pack, looking too and fro, seemingly not aware of Ricks troubled mind. Rick fiddled with the straps as he wondered, wondered if he had packed everything he might need. He would not want a repeat of his earlier journey. He did not enjoy freezing, starving or being dehydrated. Scratching at the itchy bandaged hand, he thought on every minute detail. Thinking a lot, thinking too much, thinking to escape the task soon at hand, the task that he just felt, knew would bring some sort of trouble. Be it monster or man, he could only fantasies. And that was what terrified him.
But before he could grumble too much, falling too far away into his muddled thoughts, a small little girl tugged at his leg, bringing his attention down to her, down to Abigail. A robed man on her shoulder, staring deep into his soul, or not, hard to say within his shadowy face.
“Are we going?”
A simple question asked with the innocence of a happy little girl, unable to contain her excitement from rising in her voice as the biggest adventure of her life was soon to be had. Rick looked down on the girl, on Abigail, his tapping foot ebbing away into nothing, nodding gently whilst giving her a big thumbs up in response. A smile reached her face at Rick’s response, a happy smile, grabbing his thumb-hand, avoiding his bandaged hand, and bringing it close to her chest.
Turning up, Rick’s wandering thoughts calmed, still violent, but controlled. Like the sail at sea, like the waves at shore, like wind through a slanted window. He waited with calm anticipation, fear rising and falling with each press of the girls' hand, calming and stressful at the same time.
Then, with a last big breath, soundless like the wraith at a graveyard, he opened the big looming doors. Once comforting, now a memory of both good and bad.
The doors pushed opened slowly, slowly until but a mere head could peak out, searching for any obvious dangers lurking in the dark. Rick searched but couldn’t find any monsters or soldiers in the dark, dark night. He opened the doors a little further, then pressed his body out, pulling Abigail with him. Once out in the nightly white outdoors, he closed the doors and continued searching, whipping his head back and forth, like the quickest pendulum. Bob mimicking his action, hands trapped within the confines of Rick's pack.
“You don’t have to be so scared toymaker, Noah is in jail now!”
Rick quickly focused his attention down on Abigail, pushing a finger over his mouth in a motion of silence. Abigail quickly understanding, nodding and whispering a sorry, though looking slightly surprised, confused. Rick could understand her expression, quickly thinking of an explanation, not finding a proper answer. An answer he’d have to wait on giving as Abigail whispered.
“Where are we going?”
Answering that question was a lot harder than one would think, for he did not know himself. He had already explained his need of leaving. Explained its utmost seriousness. Withholding some details, details that dwelled like a stone in his chest, but details he couldn’t bare to explain right now. And after having explained, he had later asked if she would like to come with him. A mere moment later, she had accepted with glee that a child receiving their first present could only show.
He looked around, feeling a little out of place in front of the dark church, waving for Abigail to follow, sneaking in the dark. A little girl feeling giddy in her heart. Then, as they rounded the church, nearing another house and hiding in its dark shadow. Rick gestured, tried to gesture, wanting to explain to Abigail, to answer her question. Tried was the correct word, for even he had a hard time gesturing that he did not know. Not because it was hard but that he felt shameful that he didn’t know. He had no idea where they were going. But it should not have bothered him, for her response, once she understood, melted his heart.
“As long as I’m with you, it’s okay.”
Ruffling her hair, he nodded quickly; she nodded back, and the two returned to walking. Rick guiding their direction, keeping to the side of the road whilst keeping his eyes perked, watching and listening for everything. Little escaping his sights, seeing no humans. Listening for everything, merely hearing his and her crunching footsteps in the deep snow. An owl shouting in the far, far distance.
Walking down the barely illuminated road, feet scarcely conceivable beneath them, the flash of a thought caught Rick's attention. The thought of a quiet girl who’d spoken fewer words than one could count on two hands, being replaced with the image of a smiling girl, speaking her mind with a voice that could and would pierce the heavens with its lightness and tenderness.
Rick peeked behind himself, meeting the eyes of Abigail, the flash of a smile looking back at him, glittering in the dark like diamond earrings on a colorful lady, the robed man nodding on her shoulder, one hand on her neck for support.
Rick turned back forwards quickly, shaking his head, reprimanding himself for the straying thoughts, acutely aware of the bounty on his head and the dark, dark night ahead. He did not have time for such stray thoughts.
So they travelled on, traveling slowly, meticulously and as quietly as possible. Crunches of powdered snow echoing out like the pounding of war drums, hard to silence, even harder to ignore when one walked as tensely as Rick. Far to tense it turned out. For when Abigail whispered, he practically jumped in freight, Abigail having to push a hand over her mouth to stop from giggling.
“Why are we hiding? Pff-”
Rick quickly turned around, heart beating like the worst clock, pushing his finger firmly against his mouth and hushing soundlessly. Abigail nodding with fervor, an ill hidden smile peeking up from behind two small hands. Rick shaking his head in dismay, oddly amused, reprimanding himself for feeling amused. He was in a serious situation. No time for playing.
Letting a minute pass, the duo returned to silent walking. This time, Abigail doing her best to copy Rick. Walking where his shoes left a print, looking around quickly, scanning whilst staying quiet. Although she did do it with a smile on her face. A smile that, at least to Rick, showed an unseriousness for their situation.
But still, what could Rick do. It’s not like he could tell her. That would be- that was too hard. Rick didn’t know if he could handle it. Handle her reaction to the truth.
The two managed to make it far into the town without any dangers, be it monsters or man, meeting them. Rick’s creeping unease feeling like fire in his veins, his calm water being Abigail holding his hand.
Soon after, they made it to an opened area, and Rick felt himself frown. For he did not remember this place, quickly realizing he had walked wrong somewhere on their short sneak. He cursed himself for being so inattentive, even after remembering he had barely walked around town, only having stayed within the confines of the church.
Taking a short break, he pondered on their alternatives. Either he could walk out into the open and scan for the walls and its corresponding gate. Or, they could backtrack and see if he remembered the route he had taken towards the wood mill that one time.
His short pause turning long, Abigail growing impatient, sneaking up and past Rick without him realizing. Out and onto a small raised platform of wood, a plank with a larger plank spiked into it with papers of all kinds plastered on. Rick noticed a moment later, following her with his eyes, seeing that Abigail had spotted papers on the plank, and on them, seen something, someone she knew. So, she had walked to it, grabbed the paper and brought it close to her eyes, very close. It was dark after all.
While Rick watched, he didn’t think much of her actions. But once she grabbed the paper, he focused on the plank. Realising it to be a board, a board meaning posters, posters meaning a possibility for bounties. The dominoes fell like droplets onto water, Rick scrambling forward, grabbing the paper out of Abigail's hands.
Eyes enlarging like ripe apples, nostrils flaring, for he was staring at a painting of himself, bearded and full of hair, numbers or words underneath it. He turned his eyes from the paper down to Abigail, Abigail own eyes being wide, hands clenching at nothing with her mouth slightly hanging open. Rick stared down at her. She stared up at him, the two trapped in time. Rick feeling himself slipping, slipping into a panic. This was what he had feared, avoided with all his might. A truth he didn’t want to tell her, avoided telling her.
The two stared at each other in silence. Rick falling deeper and deeper into panic, into freight. The paper in his hand staring back at him, staring at himself, judging him. He knew she now knew. Knew she would know of his evil. Knew she would know of how he had tricked her. Knew she would not trust him again. He knew that he would have to leave her.
But how could he leave her? How could he leave such a kind soul in the whims of faith? How could he trust that someone new would not endanger her again. No. He could not risk it. Even if that meant risking her to another danger, his danger.
But that thought, those thoughts, flashing inside his head in a million miles per second, made him realise something.
That he was evil, pure and unfiltered. He might tell himself that what he did was good, that he intended good. That he had avoided telling her to make her journey easier, avoiding telling her because she would learn of who he was at their next city anyway. That he would get her to a better family, get her to a better life.
But the truth was, he was just scared, scared of being alone. Alone when he felt that he had finally, finally helped someone, found someone who could see him for something other than bad. Found a friend.
His mind flashed a still little girl and a still boy, and he felt his eyes pushing dangerously at the back of his head. Staring down at Abigail, Abigail staring back at him.
Rick stared into her eyes and quickly realized that he would have to leave her. He could not risk her becoming another still little girl. What he was doing, was wrong.
It hurt like his dreams at night.
Abigail stared at Rick, stared as his expressions changed from fear, freight, sorrow than ending on acceptance. His face never contorting in any way, his mouth staying perfectly neutral all through-out his changing emotions. A peculiarity she found at first terrifying, now endearing.
But his eyes, his eyes were like the most vivid dancer, like the most expressive singer, like a leader on the battlefield.
Abigail felt that she knew, felt that she understood his changing emotions. She had not seen the paper properly; the dark making things blurry. But what she thought she had seen, was a bounty, and a picture. She closed her mouth, then whispered gently, her face a beacon of understanding.
“Is that someone you know?”
She asked quietly, shocking Rick out of his panic, his sorrow, making him stare at her in shocked confusion. Abigail staring confidently back at him, her face full of childish innocence, of thinking one understood the other’s pain.
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“Your secrets safe with me”
She declared, her face hiding away as she lunged forward, hugging Rick’s leg. Rick having to take a step back to balance himself, his arms raising as if avoiding touching something sticky. His face growing increasingly confused, the water at the back of his eyes fading away, slowly. Taking its place, relief, then shame. Shame that he felt relief at her misunderstanding, shame that he could continue his journey with her. With his only, friend.
They stayed like that, the two of them. Wrapped in a hug, one that Rick avoided, staring out into the dark night.
A silent embrace. Comforting. To her, not to him.
After a minute, Abigail pushed herself away, then spoke up quietly. “I realized why we are sneaking around.”
She stated, grabbing the paper out of Rick's hands, a flash of panic returning to his mind. Abigail not noticing, staring down at the paper as she continued whispering.
“We are sneaking, because otherwise, they would think your brother was you! Right?”
She squealed, turning her head up too meet Rick's eyes. Rick looking down, then away with his eyes, taking a moment to think. Only a moment. Nodding his head in affirmation. Not looking back down to see her reaction to his response, avoiding her gaze. Missing her smile fading slightly, missing when she turned to look down on the paper, missed as she looked back and forth from the paper to him. Missed as she fell deep into contemplation while he grabbed her hand and started moving.
Rick moved with a destination in mind, for when he had avoided meeting Abigail's eyes, he had spotted a lit gate in the distance. Pushing his straying thoughts aside, his shameful thoughts, he focused on the gate in the distance.
And as the two started moving, Abigail seemed slightly startled at first, but once she also spotted the gate, she kept step behind Rick. Her mind focusing on staying quiet, keeping one hand around the paper.
The two walking silently, like ghosts in a graveyard, like thieves at night, like ninjas on a playground. Abigail seeming to have finally understood their serious situation, taking the action of being quiet, quiet seriously.
The closer the two of them got to the gate, the more Rick motioned for them to stop, listening for any sounds, watching for any movements. Rick was growing increasingly tense, too tense. His mind and emotions wrecked from everything that had happened so far. Like a fire having burned bright, petering out with the barest of embers. Though before it could fully burn out, more wood had been chugged on, burning without proper fuel.
Rick was not having a great time. Something that should take seconds to walk, took minutes. Every house was leaned on, listening for anyone who might be inside, anyone who might go out and check the strange shadows walking past. Every corner was religiously peaked around, checked as if being patted down by the harshest of guards. And every place they moved too that lacked any good cover was like walking under a hail of fire. Distances traversed faster than monsters hunting their prey. Everything they did, strained on Ricks already weakened mind.
But, as it turned out, Rick’s very attentive nature, or panicked nature, made it so that he spotted a figure ahead. A figure standing tall and looming near the gate. And as Rick stopped like a deer noticing the hunter, he spotted two other figures, smaller than the first with sticks by their sides.
Rick motioned for Abigail to hide behind him, then hid himself around the nearest house, peaking at the three figures.
It was hard seeing in the dark, only able to see the three figures due to the flickering torches behind them, torches assembled onto a wooden wall with a opened gate between them. Rick looked at the gate, seeing the dark wilderness behind it, seeing freedom. Freedom stopped by the three figures ahead.
But as it turned out, he wasn’t alone in being attentive. The large figure turned towards Rick, his hair contrasting with the light from the torch behind him. And a him it was, a man with a big frame and red flaming hair. A man Rick had seen before, met before. A man he thought, wished he would have never have to see again. So seeing him made Rick’s blood drain away, freezing him to the bone.
The red man stood still like that, having raised one hand as if silencing the two other figures, presumably two guards. He stood still in that position, his head facing Rick, pivoting as if a snake zeroing in on its prey. Rick froze at the sight, shivering slightly, too afraid to move, to hide. His head peaking out like a dark silhouette. He wished with every fiber of his being that he was invisible in the darkness of the night. That him staying still was the perfect hiding place.
A hiding place ruined by the appearance of Abigail, whispering a question as she peaked her head out.
“What is it?”
Rick went motionless at her question, paralyzed as his body waited for his brain to realize what had just happened. His eyes staring at the red-haired man, seeing his head bob a mere inch down, showing Rick that he had spotted Abigail. The red-haired man turned his head slightly backwards, saying something that didn't carry with the wind. Then he started walking.
Ricks breathing grew ragged at the sight, his mind already overloaded, overloading further. He hid behind the building swiftly, pulling Abigail with him, looking around for a way to escape. For any escape. He looked back the way they came, quickly dismissing the idea. Looking to their side, seeing dark alleyways leading to the unknown. An escape, an escape that was uncertain but better than being caught.
He turned to move, stopped in place by a small hand. He turned back, seeing Abigail holding him, staring up at his eyes, face like a stern teacher. Rick blinked at the sight, twice, thrice, shock fillings his mind, sweat forming a small pool on his lower back. Abigail kept looking up at him, but her stern face faltered, eyes darting every which way, not directly on his face.
Rick looked away from Abigail, up at the dark night, looking at the corner of their building, a corner that could be breached by the red-haired man in any second, looming around and grabbing him, taking him into a damp cell, stored away for eternity.
His attention drew down again, knowing he had to move, to run. But also knowing he couldn’t leave Abigail. He’d already decided to keep her safe, keep her safe himself, even if that meant risking his life. He would not leave her and therefore, needed her to run with him.
He moved to pick her up, going down on one knee, reaching around and grabbing Abigails arms. Coming down close enough to be face to face with her, seeing tears falling down a big smile. Two golden eyes staring brightly at his two brown. Paralyzed by the sight, Ricks mouth fell open, awkwardly hanging as he gawked at her eyes. Then she spoke, words broken but steady.
“Toy-toymaker. You’ve done so much for me… I wanna- I wanna. You're my savior and- and..”
She paused for a second, taking a deep breath and blowing it out, smelling faintly of stew. Her arms shivering slightly, felt even through her thick clothes. She continued speaking, this time firmer.
“Toymaker. I don’t know how to thank you. Ever. So, let me save you, this time.”
She spoke, launching herself forwards and grabbing Rick, giving him his second surprise hug for the day. This one reaching around his neck, pulling his head close. Then, just as quickly as it had happened, she let go. Pushing him away and sprinting out and around the building's corner. A move made so quick that Rick barely had time to reach his hand out, mouth hanging even further open as it searched for a sound, forgetting it had none.
He quickly scrambled up on two feet, peaking around the corner to see. Seeing Abigail sprinting down the road, the red-haired man barely ten meters away, the two guards walking a few feet behind, his arm raised with what appeared to be an axe in it. Ricks eyes grew wide, his soundless scream growing louder. His body readied itself to move but stopped as Abigails voice shouted.
“Monster! Monster! Please help! Monster!”
The red-haired man seemed to pause in his step, the raised arm stopping as well. But Abigail didn’t stop, sprinting towards the red-haired man, shouting at the top of her lungs, sounding at the brink of panic. Like a hen running from the fox.
As she came close enough that he might strike her, she slid to a stop, shouting even more. Only stopping once the red-haired man lowered his axe arm. Her voice caught in her throat as a deep bassy voice echoed out, controlled and controlling, a voice of a ruler, a commander. A voice of someone who knew how to keep people in place.
“The monster is dead, go home, it's late.”
He spoke tiredly, his raised hand falling down, exposing the glimmer of an axe, hiding away as he stored it on his hip. He took a step forward, gently pushing Abigail aside, continuing his walk towards the dark house, towards Rick.
Abigail stuttered by the big mans side, speaking whilst speaking nothing. Only finding her voice once the big man took yet another step forward.
“M-M-Monster! On the other side of town! I-I saw it!”
She shouted, being behind the man, moving so that she stood in front of him again, being in the way of him and Rick. She pointed in the opposite direction of where the gate was, down from where Rick and Abigail had walked, shouting monster yet again, indicating its direction.
The red-haired man stopped, his low voice speaking with gravitas, like a king to their subject, like a teacher to their student, like a father to their son.
“The monster is dead, I was there when it died. My arm is proof enough.”
He said, pointing at his arm wrapped up in cloth tuckered against his chest as if holding onto something precious, then once again taking another step forward. But this time blocked by Abigail as she bravely took her own step forward, reaching her hand out to grab his. Grabbing what Rick assumed to be his healthy arm, dragging it as she pulled him along, along towards the "monster". Tried too, was what she did.
“It-Its another monster! You have to hurry, before it gets away! Quickly!”
She shouted, screamed at the huge man. Screamed while she tugged at his arm, dragging him backwards as she tried to get him to follow. A task seemingly impossible, like trying to move a mountain, like pushing the ocean, like controlling the winds. He didn’t budge; he didn’t move. But he didn’t speak either, seemingly deep in thought. His face covered by the night, still facing Rick's direction.
Seconds ticked by, Abigail shouting at the man to hurry, seconds like arrows falling, like clouds moving towards you. The red-haired man took his time, time seemingly thinking, face hidden as he stared in Rick's direction. Rick feeling as if being watched, stared at, his soul exposed for what it was.
Then Abigail shouted, not about the monster, but in surprise. Her body having been lifted by one big arm, moving her to sit on his shoulder, thundering out. His tiredness gone, replaced by determination.
“Where is it?”
And Abigail smiled, for her plan had worked. She pointed in the direction of where the “monster” was. The big man immediately jogging in that direction, each step as wide as one fully grown man. Quickly closing the distance where Rick hid at, forcing him to push himself back into the shadows, hiding himself.
Then he moved past, like a blur of movement, continuing on and away from him. Abigail on his shoulder, the robed man on hers. She turned around, her hands holding firmly on the red-haired mans neck, looking in Rick's direction. Rick looking in hers. The two staring at each other's shadow. Abigail waving, a smile big enough to cleave the heavens on her face. Tears as large as rivers falling down it. Rick couldn’t see it, but he still felt his heart grow heavy, his eyes drooping low, playfully playing at the back of his eyes.
He turned away, not ready to burst, he would not, understanding what she’d done for him, even if it pained him something deeply. His emotions a wreck, his body a wreck, his mind a wreck. He felt everything as if clouded by exhaustion, exhaustion not coming from fatigue.
He moved out from his hiding place, out and towards the gate. He walked with quick steps, trying for a quick escape before the red-haired man could realize Abigails ruse.
But after walking several steps, his eyes caught movement, and he stopped. Looking up, he saw two faces staring at him from several meters away. Two spears in hand, one female, one male, kitted as if ready to go to war. They stared at him; he stared at them, remembering two guards who'd almost killed him when he'd first arrived to the town. Rick looking, feeling like a thief caught in the act.
Rick immediately turned around with a jump, jumping off into a sprint. Stopping just as quickly as he'd jumped as he saw the red-haired man standing still, having turned around to face him, staring him down, further away than the guards were.
With the torches giving light from behind Rick, he could finally see the huge man's face. A face full of red beard, red hair, red brows with eyes the colour of bright, watery skies. He stared at Rick, and recognition was clear on his face. The two stuck in time, like lovers at midnight. One half true.
Ricks mind raced, his heart beat, body like thunderous sky. His mind already wrecked, not capable of more thought, not anymore. So the body did the talking. It moved with speed as it darted back, back towards the two guards. It made a split decision, deciding to risk the guards rather than Abigail.
He pushed off with speed, strength like a lion jumping after its prey. Quickly thundering towards the two guards. Rick anticipating a struggle, readying his body for a tackle. Tensing up as if preparing himself to hit an iron wall.
But the tackle never came, the two guards moved aside, theirs spears far away. Rick sprinted towards, then past. His face contorting into surprise, shock and confusion. He cast a glance back, seeing the two guards standing at salute, as if waving their king goodbye. Further down the road, the big man had taken a step forward, but hadn’t started running.
Rick turned his head forward again, seeing the gate looming closer swiftly, quickly. It moved towards him at speeds, then it was at him, then it was past him and he was running on a cobbled road, cobbled grass, then grass. Running away from the light and into the darkness.
He cast a quick look behind himself, seeing none following, the gate slowly closing far behind him. He stopped at the sight, drinking it in, standing in the middle of the grassy land between the gate and the safety of the dark forest.
He stood there, dumfounded, staring at the gate, breathing heavily, mind processing what he was seeing. Mind processing, then spitting out a clear motive. Realising quickly that he was safe, that no one would chase him. That he was alone.
He let the information flow through him, coming up then out from his eyes. Trickling down his face like drizzle from a mist.
He touched his face, feeling surprised at its wetness. Staring at the gate, at the wall, at the town. Staring at everything that was his life for the past few months. Memories flashing past one by one. Tears flowing more free, down his arm.
Emotions floating up with these memories. Everything floating so quickly, too quickly.
But even from this state, he managed to think, think about Abigail. Wondering, hoping that she’d be alright. An uncertain feeling sticking to his stomach, a stone of uncertainty sticking close to the rock of guilt and failure. A rock there to stay. A weight he knew he'd have to carry, forever.
Then, like a small ray of sunshine on a rainy day. Something seemed to lift from his stomach, lift from the hurtfull hole filled with heavy rocks. It was a tiny pebble, no bigger than the point of a needle. It lifted, hurling its way up towards his chest, towards his heart.
It was a pebble that felt warm, lightening Rick's surprisingly heavy heart, if only by a little.
A pebble that said, you saved someone.
And to that, Rick smiled, tears still falling. Turning back to the dark forest, walking with steady steps. Wiping at his wet face.
Smiling warmly.