Tower of Somnus was a disaster.

Arnold thought he could show Kat around and she would become smitten with him over time. With his mind and hers, and with her strength, they’d become an unstoppable tactical team and advance up the tower without anyone ever being able to stand in their way.

But things didn’t work out like that.

He was still on track, eventually, to bedding the babe of his dreams, but it would require a major detour at this point, and the entire reason was that despicable fool Dorrik.

As soon as he came around, Kat suddenly shifted, like she was smitten for this weird lizard alien. Arnold would have her know, he was a founding member of the Zard Skwad, a very important scaley enthusiast group online that focused very strongly on promoting lizards in all their forms. Dorrik was a member of that sort of species, yes, but he wasn’t a full-on fanclub person about it. What gave? Why was she into this guy?

Jealousy raged within him, and it became almost impossible to play the game.

Eventually, he just had to make some sort of excuse about how he had some early morning errands to run, and woke himself up early just to get out of the situation. But even that was a waste, because then his mind was just consumed with the idea that, as soon as he left, Kat and Dorrik were going nasty at it. The very thought of it sickened him, but he couldn’t get it out of his head.

Kat... Kat wasn’t a slut, no. He had read online many different guides of how to tell if a girl is experienced and a good veteran or if she’s just loose in more ways than one, and as far as he knew, she didn’t display any of the telltale signs. Sure, she’d been with a lot of guys recently, always the bad boys with bad attitudes like Jaiden, and Atwon, and Gheb, and then of course Danyel... And then he just learned about her and Anna...

“My God, is Kat a bitch too?” Arnold wondered aloud. “No, no. She’s dated a lot, but it’s always pure relationships that develop naturally. She isn’t the kind of woman to ruin herself. She’s basically saving herself for me, just like I’ve been saving myself for her this whole time, even though I definitely have had the opportunity to lay many times with all sorts of women. I just haven’t been desperate enough to go with their unattractive, homely selves. I prefer a woman with some meat on her bones, if you know what I mean. Who am I talking to?”

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Dorrik and Kat probably weren’t doing anything special. They had only just met, even if they hit it off well. Dorrik was dumb, and stupid, and fat, and not even attractive. Ha!

Arnold hated Dorrik so much...

So much that he couldn’t stop thinking about him.

Dorrik and his scale-covered, barely-covered body. He didn’t need that much armor for how thick his scales already were, and oh boy they were thick...

Arnold hated him. Hated him so much. Just... ugh.

He imagined going up to the guy and just slicing him with his sword as hard as he could. It wouldn’t kill him, not with his bountiful, luscious body, so dark and green and with such a long snout...

He draw back his blade, and Dorrik would look upon him with fear and something of attraction, just at Arnold’s sheer masculine energy. The musk exuding from his inhuman girth... With him fully at Arnold’s mercy. And Arnold would take him without mercy.

He’d look up at the cowering beast and ask, “Is that a subscription in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?”

And then he’d finish him off.

Oh, what a dream that would be. Arnold felt gleeful just imagining what a world that would be.

Instinctually, he reached for his box of tissues before realizing that he was just being silly. That box was for meditation, not for giddy imagination romps.

He thought about going to sleep now and entering Somnus so he could get a head start on training to eventually kill Dorrik with his bare hands, but he decided it would be better if he got some dinner first, since he was in the mood for turtle soup, for sure. The sea turtle may be endangered now, but it was certainly tasty enough that it didn’t quite matter.

He put back his box off tissues and walked downstairs to the kitchen.

But then, when he got down there, he saw a familiar face--and, more importantly, two very familiar pale orbs whose “eyes” were essentially staring at him.

It was that special woman putting her long-fingered hands on her tasty child-bearing hips, glaring at him just as much as her own breasts:

Anna Donnst was here in his own home.