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The European Gossip Gazette. Front page article by Madame Bovary. New Reality. 4th of July special edition.

There’s a new royal saga brewing in the heart of the Balkans! Picture this: a fresh federation sprouting up like wildflowers between Hungary and Bulgaria.

In a move that’s taken from the Comic 'Game of Royal Chairs' (Number 6 now available), today, a plucky new nation has decided to declare its independence and crown its very own ruler. And who’s the lucky lady? None other than Queen Mary of Austria! But hold your schnitzels, folks—there’s a catch.

This new Balkan federation isn’t just any old monarchy. Oh no, they’ve gone all-in on the democratic vibes by slapping on the label of an elective constitutional monarchic republic. Queen Mary’s invite comes with a disclaimer: she’s gotta keep her independence from Spain, Austria, and Hungary. Conjugal visits are allowed once a month. Tough crowd!

It's a move that's shaking the Ottoman Empire. But wait! An armistice with Suleiman the Magnificent, you say? Peace talks? It’s like a diplomatic soap comic, minus the evil twin.

And what's a new country without a papal seal of approval? Pope Clement VII has thrown in his holy backing faster than you can say "Hallelujah!" Why? Well, this new federation has promised to be the Switzerland of the South—ensuring freedom of thought and religion for all. Bravo! Bravo!

Stay tuned, gossip gurus! This ain’t your grandmother’s monarchy. It's a Balkan ballad with a queen caught in the middle. I want to end this article with the motto of this new country, two words that show the desire to build peace and prosperity, one day at a time. Today and Tomorrow!

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It was late afternoon when Salvatore's phone rang. He was relaxing on the porch, after returning from a lively dinner, looking at the monsoon rain falling over the jungle. The caller was Ardent.

"Hi, kid," he said, accepting the call. "Sorry… my bad. What can I do for you, knight Ardent?"

"Stop eating bullshit. Can you talk?" Ardent's voice was all business.

"Sure. I'm relaxing in Vijayanagara. I have good news. Rengi and the local king decided to start a joint commercial enterprise, in Goa. There are a few Portuguese there, but they defected and will cooperate with us."

"I'm so happy for Rengi, may his dead ancestors rise as zombies and come to fuck him in the ass today and tomo—"

"What's up?" Salvatore interjected.

"What does diminishing returns mean?"

"That investing in some stats after a certain level doesn't grant you the same benefits as before. You're playing some games on the phone?"

"No, I meant in the System," Ardent said, his voice a bit shaky.

"Our System doesn't have diminishing returns."

"You sure? It looks like it has… or so says Donnie. I asked his opinion first, 'cause he's a doctor, you know."

"OK, tell me exactly what happened," Salvatore said. He started to feel a little annoyed by the interruption. The darkness was growing fast, the view he admired obscured by the incoming night.

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"Well, you see… I had a lot of ATs lately… borrowed some from Rengi, may his—"

"Relax, I'm sure he'll write off some of your debt."

"Yeah… I don't think so… I cleaned ten Moa stables yesterday, to return half the interest for the year. They stank! I was trying to say… I invested all my FPs safe two to increase my stats… and then I fainted, and woke up like this… better I show you."

"Sure, always show, don't tell."

In the next minute, a photo of Ardent and a copy of his stats arrived. The young man looked silly, with wider-than-normal shoulders and huge muscles over which a tiny head was stuck like a cherry on a cake. Salvatore muted the microphone on his phone to be able to laugh at his heart's pleasure. Finally, he took a look at the stats.

Name: Ardent the Morlako, Lvl. 35 Class: Jack of All Trades

STR: 50 / DEX: 50 / CON: 50

INT: 28 / WIL: 28 / CHA: 28

"What the fuck!...." Salvatore mumbled.

"I can't hear you," Ardent said.

"Sorry," Salvatore said after turning the microphone back on. "Tell me what are your second threshold perks for your physical stats. Body, that is."

"Perks?"

"The rewards for the thresholds. Some call them perks."

"Ah, those… Let me tell you, none was as good as I hoped. My Constitution awarded me a very high Regeneration—"

"That's great. Saves on heals, thus Mana, yours or the Healers."

"Yeah… I was hoping for more armor… you know…" Ardent was sulking, it was evident from the tone of his voice.

"Go on. Dex allows me to wear any type of armor without any embarrassment penalty."

"Encumbrance."

"What did I say?" Ardent asked candidly. "Is it good?"

"Will be once Leo levels up and gains access to advanced armor crafting… and if we manage to import some mate—"

"Look, can we concentrate on me here? I have a real problem, mate."

"And Strength?"

"That's an active ability that doubles the stat and helps with grappling… By the way, if I reach the max cap."

"Cap already means max, kid," Salvatore said. "Max cap is a pleonasm."

Ardent's voice could be heard more distanced. For sure he had taken the phone away from his mouth, but still words like 'blabbermouth' and 'pleonasm in the ass today and tomorrow' were clear. "If I'm at a hundred in Strength, will this… pork?"

"Perk."

"Perk still double it? I can use it once per day for now, but it's at F."

"Yes, it will. Technically you can wear armor, use skills, or drink potions that would double even your capped stats. That would be the maximum achievable."

"So… the max cap is not the real max cap, right?... Anyway. I want to get to a hundred in all stats, but I don't want to… you know… look like this…"

Salvatore let out a deep sigh. "You'll be fine… And almost unique… I don't think there are many occurrences of people with all maxed stats. There's a list in the database—"

"C'mon, man, please!"

"Your condition is not caused by high stats, but imbalance. There's too much going on there."

"In normal language, please?"

"Your Mind stats can't cope with all the Mana going into your Body. And levels, believe it or not, are a hidden stat too, they help with Mana processing. Increase your Mind stats and levels as soon as possible, and your body will return to normal," Salvatore said.

"Fuuuuck… I need to borrow more Fate Points…" Ardent wailed.

"I'll give you seven."

"Really? You're a true friend, man, sorry for—"

"Not for free."

"Oh."

"Almost for free… You come here for a few days and entertain the King with Dragon. Fly him around, stuff. He's a fan of your comics."

"Err… You sure? I'm not so good at telling jokes," Ardent voice carried a slight hesitation.

"I mean novels with pictures instead of words. Clemy started a series with you as a hero, twice a month. It's a hit."

"He did what?" Ardent's voice raised in intensity. "Fuck his popy ass today and tomorrow, the bastard didn't tell me anything!"

"I'm sure he just forgot, he's very busy. However, you're supposed to get royalties… meaning money. It will help you pay back some of those interests. I heard A Fate Point goes for about a quarter of a mil— a hundred ounces of gold now."

"Hey, that's helpful, thanks. I'll call him. So, when can I get the seven FPs?"

"Next morning, my time. I'll open you a portal, keep your phone open."

"Thanks, man."

"Take care," Salvatore sighed and closed the call. Outside, it was already dark, however, the rain had stopped falling, and the clouds had moved away, letting the moon and the stars shine. The scents of the forest added to the charm, so he went and poured himself a glass of strong brandy, returning to the armchair a minute later.