Gurk pushed one of his armored lieutenants into the goblin training ring. The two naked combatants gave him one look and tried to flee, their escape cut off by the surrounding goblins. Armored green hands pushed the naked combatants towards the Lieutenant.

He turned sideways, and swung his sabre with all his might, cleaving one of his combatants in half. The second combatant lunged forward. Cunning gleamed in his eyes, and he made a daring maneuver.

Instead of running headlong into the armored Lieutenant he tucked his legs under him, using his shins to ski through the eviscerated combatant’s guts. Blood and intestines squelched as the naked goblin connected with the lieutenant’s legs. He slammed his forehead into the Lieutenant’s groin, praying to Tantalus for victory.

Lieutenant let out a shriek of pain, crumpling as the naked goblin bowled him over. They fumbled and rolled, flopping onto the stone. The armored lieutenant returned the blow, catching naked goblin with a knee to the groin, his greater strength had a proportionally greater effect and the sound of two walnuts being cracked open could be heard.

Naked goblin vomited, spraying his fluids all over the Lieutenant’s chest.

Within the dungeon creatures did not need to eat, making for potent stomach acid. Given enough time the acid would have damaged his opponent’s armor.

Unfortunately for the naked goblin, this was not the Lieutenant’s first barf fight. Rolling hard to his right he caught the naked goblin’s arm beneath him, snapping the humorous with their combined body weights.

“Gaaaah!!!” Shrieked the naked goblin.

Lieutenant ended his outburst with a gauntlet to the teeth. Hitting him repeatedly until no every single pointy tooth was beaten into the goblin’s bleeding throat. Then he kept hitting him, doing his best to fist the naked goblin to death, an encore to their double entendre. Gurk watched his XP bar increase. He only needed a few more points to reach the peak. More points than he could gain by watching another low level goblin die.

He hefted his axe, it was a clumsy relic. Left over from the burnt human he had eaten, but it was an enchanted weapon. A rarity since Tantalus had allowed the human females to plunder their booties.

Gurk took a step forward, then another to build his momentum. His armored Lieutenant caught a glimpse of Gurk coming for him, his murderous intent evidenced by the axe. Lieutenant tried to stand, only to stumble.

At some point during their brawl the naked goblin had wrapped his hands around the Lieutenant’s legs. Hands that held him in place a second too long.

“AAaaiiiiiiiii!!!” Roared Gurk, bringing the axe down on his second in command.

The blade bit into the Lieutenant’s neck, hacking through the thin armor of his gorget and sticking in place. Gurk levered the axe forwards and backwards. His Lieutenant spasming with each motion.

Still the axe would not come free.

Gurk had no time for this. Holding the axe’s haft he raised an armored foot, kicking his Lieutenant in the helmet, right where he imagined his nose would be. Lieutenant’s weakened vertebra finally snapped, and his head rolled sideways. Gurk left nothing to chance. Wielding the axe once more he severed his Lieutenant’s head, securing enough XP to ascend to level one hundred.

He beheaded the naked goblin for good measure. It was his duty after all, they were goblins. Servants of the dungeon, they must always be ready to defend their master from any possible threats. Or at least, that is what he would tell Tantalus.

In truth, Gurk enjoyed feeling bones break. The moist crunch they gave when you broke them sent shivers of pleasure down his spine, and the way blood glistened in the dark cave fascinated him. Enthralling him to a life a violence. This was what he had been created for, to bring death and violence to the dungeon, to test the humans and cull their weak. That was his purpose.

Evolution options unlocked

Gurk unleashed a primal howl of victory. The other goblins turned to look, pausing their training to answer their chieftain’s call. Realization slowly dawned on the goblins. As dungeon creatures they could all see each other’s stats and soon they began howling, celebrating Gurk’s triumph.

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“Boss did it!”

“Show us how!”

“Gurk! Gurk! Gurk!”

Cried the armored goblins.

The lesser goblins took up the chant, howling Gurk’s name until the cavern shook. Small stalagtites broke free, falling onto some of the goblins.

A figure in black and white robes appeared next to gurk.

“Congratulations Gurk, you have reached level one hundred. Let me know when you are ready to evolve and I will empower you.” Said Tantalus.

Satharis reared his head, butting his scaley hide into their conversation. “You will be immobilized during your evolution Gurk.” He began, turning to speak to everyone in Goblinville. “You will not gain anything from killing him during the evolution process. Do not lay a finger on him or I will burn you to death for a dozen lives. Evolution is an exceedingly painful process that you will all get to enjoy, if you listen and obey.”

A raucous chorus of “Yes boss!” Came from the goblins.

Satharis nodded in approval and flexed his claws. A physical tick he sometimes did to conceal his feelings from the goblins. His talons screeched against each other, their diamond-like material shrieking momentarily. All eyes in the cavern paused to appreciate the dragon’s form, including Tantalus’.

“Satharis, how close are you to evolving? And more importantly, how much bigger are you going to get?” Asked Tantalus.

“Dragons grow as we level, evolving will allow me to shed these simple scales for a more resilient hide. I will be able to move through the worm tunnels once more.”

Satharis and Tantalus continued discussing the mundanities of dungeons, how the lower floor, now called the spider level was coming along. How the gardner snake gorgon had recently matured. Reaching puberty and becoming the teenaged medusa she was supposed to be. A preposition Father Jean-luc Delance was entirely unprepared to handle.

Gurk heard none of it. His sole focus was on the three options in front of him, Hobgoblin, Orc, and Goblin Shaman.

Evolving into an orc would grant him twenty additional strength, a number that made him salivate. He could bludgeon the other goblins to death without armor or a weapon if he chose that path. Though, he could already break bones. Becoming an Orc would not improve his actual talents or open any new avenues.

Continuing onto the Goblin Shaman, he considered what they could do. A description appeared for the race and he read it over. Goblin shamans buffed their allies and could use magic, the MP he had would have purpose if he selected the shaman, and he could burn his enemies to death at range! He could just look at them and kill them, without ever having to feel their bones break or that delightful squelch flesh made when you hacked into it.

Goblin Shaman was not for him. Reviewing the last option, he grinned. It was perfect.

“Tantalus! Evolve me. Make a hobgoblin.” Said Gurk.

“Oh, that’s decisive. Do you want more time to think about it?” Said Tantalus.

“No!” Answered Gurk.

Satharis snickered. “Hobgoblins are swift and cunning, a description that mirror’s Chief Gurk’s most prominent talents.”

Tantalus read over the other options, and grinned. “A wise decision. You will become my first Hobgoblin.”

Tantalus spent the one hundred thousand mana required to evolve Gurk. Light filled the chamber, ensorcelling Gurk in a pillar of white energy. The pillar shrank, compressing until it was a human sized cocoon around the goblin hero. Tantalus teleported the cocoon into the nearest Yurt and vanished.

With the show over, a dozen fights broke out. Goblinville had a goal to strive for, one that excited them with promises of power or cunning. The armored commanders entered the training rings, eager to gain the ground they had lost to Gurk.

Satharis watched them train for twelve hours, only having to purge the eager greenskins twice during that time. Once when an armored goblin killed another and received a necklace of spell immunity as the drop, an item he mistakenly thought would protect him from dragons breath. While the second time was when a dozen goblins thought he had fallen asleep and decided to risk their lives for XP. He had crushed them without opening his eyes. Satharis was a dragon, eyes were only one of his dozen senses, but he would have better luck explaining gravity to a cloud.

As he incinerated the goblins once more a notification appeared in his mind.

Evolution options unlocked.

Tantalus appeared in the same second as the evolution options.

“You did it. What options-”

“Empower me! Hephestus forged me anew with one purpose in my soul. My soul fire is unquenched and I seek what I have always sought! To kill the Leviathans who destroyed my dungeon. Give me the mana Tantalus. My evolutionary path is predestined.” Said Satharis.

“So touchy.” Muttered Tantalus. He extended his hand towards Satharis and frowned.

“Satharis… What in God’s green earth did you do?” Demanded Tantalus.

Satharis shot him a tired look, bored of Tantalus’ nagging.

“Don’t look at me like that! It wants a million MP for your evolution!”

“My magnificent form requires more mana than a lowly goblin’s. Pay it. Or have you given up on our purpose Jean-luc?”

Tantalus frowned at the use of his human name. Something about hearing it used made the inside of his eyeballs itch.

Satharis isn’t that much larger than a goblin, and I’m like millions of times larger than he is. If his evolution costs one million MP, how much will my first evolution cost?

"Allow the unfolding of events to dictate our focus on such matters, lest we waste energy on futile speculation and incite my growing impatience."

“Stupid pompous lizard.” Sneered Tantalus.

He had heard enough from the overeducated lizard, activating the talent for evolution he targeted Satharis.

-1,000,000 MP

His MP flowed into Satharis, wrapping the dragon in a cocoon of blue threads. The dragon welcomed them. Folding his wings he curled into the lizard equivalent of a fetal position, tucking his wings flat against his back and bringing his tail forward. His head slithered back, overlapping with his tail as the million MP threads encased his body.

86400s remaining.

A countdown timer appeared in Tantalus’ mind. Ticking down one second at a time.

Eighty six thousand seconds? Dude, give me a clock with minutes and hours! Long division isn’t my strong suit.

Tantalus ran some rough numbers in his head, eventually he huffed, concluding that the timer was longer than a week. A whisper reached his mind. One final echo of intelligence before Satharis’ mind faded.

"It astounds me that one must clarify that 86,400 seconds amount to a day."