“Why would you even ask if you’re just gonna do it anyway?!” James pulled his hair out and tried to keep his face from showing out of the spire’s open sides. They were high enough up that Cira did think anyone could discern their faces anyway.

“While they won’t disappear, delaying our problems should be a simple matter.” Cira watched the small army of a hundred or so color coordinated pirates disappear beneath Breeze Haven as it continued unwavering through the sky.

“Then why are we still heading to town? Shouldn’t we go straight to Kuja’s at this point?” His logic was sound, but it was a compromise.

“We still have things to do in town. You bastards ate all my food, and I can’t keep walking around on this crutch forever.”

“It’s been a day!” Jimbo was quick to judge when she complained about her leg, “I was on crutches for months. You’ll just mess yourself up if you try to put the wooden leg on now. I been there.”

“Then I’ll wait a little longer… I still want to get all my things. Besides, what’s not healed about it? It hurts, but hasn’t Larry been working on it for a few weeks?” Cira pulled her leg up and poked the stump, wincing.

“Sure, it took you longer to whoop Don’s ass than to heal him, but Larry ain’t as crazy as you. These things take time even with a healer.”

“More importantly, how the hell do you expect to deal with the friggin’ Royal Pirates, and then everyone in their little pirate palace that sent the hit squad after us?” James shoved Jimbo back and spoke over them both. “Going into town and then taking off again? Are you planning to fight them? Does this thing have weapons?!”

As he nervously looked around Cira couldn’t help but snicker. “I will deal with the ‘Royal Pirates’ by laughing at them from afar. Breeze Haven does indeed have weapons, but I don’t intend to use them. They are best saved for emergencies. While I would love to see this pirate palace, it won’t be necessary for most of the options before us. You guys know best around here though, so I’ll defer to your wisdom.”

“Huh?” James looked at her like she was speaking nonsense, “Isn’t it clear we don’t know what the hell to do?!”

“Hold on,” Jimbo put up a hand to calm James’ tirade, “Do you mean you already got some ideas for us to pick from? Let’s hear it.”

“Precisely. I’ll be omitting the violent ones unless you really don’t like the first choices though.” Cira turned her head and watched the army follow behind as fast as they could, gradually getting further away. “To navigate this situation we can be cunning, efficient, political, or have a little fun with it.”

Jimbo whistled aloud, “Four whole ways that aren’t violent, huh? I’m impressed.”

“I think political is out,” James answered, “Tell us cunning and efficient.”

“Alright, to take the cunning route we would land and sneak into the woods. This would require us to incapacitate… eight of them in secret and take their armor as our own. I have artifacts in the forge that can assist in stealth, and then we infiltrate the kill crew and lead them astray—”

“Stop, we’re not doing that. Next one.” James’ look was one of exasperation, but Jimbo thought it was a pretty good idea.

“Phew, I didn’t want to do that one either. It would turn into a whole thing.” Cira’s golden hair bounced in the sun as she shook her head, “No, no, I infiltrated on Fount Salt. Nothing underhanded today, which brings us to the most efficient path before us. We fly straight to Larry’s and toss a rope down, then fly away. It might make going to the hideout difficult if it’s actually supposed to be hidden, though.”

“It is,” Jimbo added, “That would get Wick crawlin’ up our asses for sure. Wait, what was your plan if we wanted to get political?”

“Well, an honest to goodness usurpation would also be a hassle. To do so in a nonviolent fashion could be done with an overwhelming display of power if I had my aura, but I don’t like doing those kinds of things when I can avoid it. Otherwise, this would take infiltration of some manner. Staging I coup, perhaps… Let’s steer clear of politics. You said I was a pirate now or something, didn’t you?”

“Aye, that I did.” Jimbo grinned.

“Hardly.” There was a grimace on James’ face now and his tone was harsh, “I don’t want to ask you this, but your first three choices suck. How do we have a little fun with this?”

Jimbo’s eyes held a hopeful glint now, and he seemed to feed off of James’ exasperation. They made quite a pair and Cira smiled at them, “We find that clearing you talked about and land there, then run into town really quick. You locals must know a way in aside from the big gates, right?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess. Where are you going with this?” They weren’t yet convinced.

“Yeah, that just sounds sneaky.” Jimbo commented. “Where’s the fun?”

“It’s just a little game of cat and mouse. We’ll be gone before they arrive and start uselessly attacking my barrier while we get all our business done in town. By the time they catch on, we’ll be on our way back, maybe run past a couple guys, then fly away. We dive down past the shore and pass under the island to go meet Kuja on the other side. We’ll give ‘em the slip and vanish into the mist.”

“Ooh, I like the sound of that.” She at least had one sub-captain on board so far. “Quick, simple, and we still get to make a fool of the black and gold.”

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

James, however, was still unsure, “How many people are we bringing into town? This place will be under fire the moment they find it.”

“Well… I don’t like the idea of leaving people behind while I’m not here, but we really don’t need the whole gang. The barrier will hold up just fine, though.” Now she squinted at James with a cold glare, “If I leave you here can you make sure the rest don’t do anything stupid or touch anything, or try to get into the archive?”

“You want me to stay?!” He was baffled but Cira’s expression hadn’t changed. “Of course, you do… You really trust this barrier, don’t you?”

“It’s never failed. The dragon missed, but I’m pretty it would have gone straight through. I don’t know where to pinpoint the cutoff, but I doubt that Astral Bitch could do it.”

“Hah! You never told us that story, Dreadheart.”

Cira appreciated the lack of worries that phased Jimbo—it made her a lot more comfortable in her helpless state. “And what of the one-legged man who single-handedly defeated a crew of forty pirates?”

“Yeah, we’ll need another barrel sooner or later.” He shrugged.

“This is not the time. I still find it hard to believe that your barrier is that strong,” James said, “but you really defeated that witch, didn’t you? Whatever. There’s still a huge problem with all of your plans. None of them solve anything! We’re just running away.”

“I told you before that delaying our problems was a simple matter. We’ll fly away and fix my soul real quick, hopefully, and then I’ll be much more relaxed.” Cira put a hand over her chest as if she could feel the mana burning her soul away, “It will be easier to find a solution then. We can always brute force a peace treaty or something.”

“God dammit… Why did we ever sign up to be your crew?” James lamented his self-wrought fate, “I guess we really don’t have a choice but to run for now, then. The whole armada combined doesn’t have enough men to take on Captain Wick, and they’re much better armed than us. The bastards…”

“Why are they after us, anyway? I thought this island was quite charming, but now I’m irritated and mildly offended. Is this an act of war?” The kill crew was long gone through the trees as Hangman’s Cove came into view ahead. “I really don’t have time for something like that. Everything is a million times harder without my aura and leg.”

“Pffft!” Jimbo slapped her on the shoulder and laughed in an uproar, “When shit like that comes outta your mouth is why you’re my captain. You’re crumblin’ apart from the soul out, and an act of war from the pirate king is a mild irritation. With one leg and no mana, it’s spider gods in the evening and pirate armies in the morning, but that’s all just a big hassle, isn’t it? I feel like I’ll never see crazier shit than when you’re around, but I’m also like, invincible. You’re somethin’ else, that’s for sure.”

“Thanks, I guess? Fount Cira was nuts enough if you ask me…” She shuddered as the 99.99% of her missing body pulsed in salty solemnity.

“Fount what now? What happened down there—”

“No more small talk.” James cut him off and pointed inland “Turn about fifteen degrees here and the forest stops briefly before we reach the hills.”

“Great, let’s start bringing her down.” Cira extended her spyglass and saw the spot James must have been referring to before she took Breeze Haven down for a soft landing. After it settled, they descended the staircase and met the rest of her crew in the yard again.

They looked nervous and impatient, but it was Rocky who spoke up, “Evil gods is one thing, but I didn’t sign up to go up against Captain Wick!”

“The former sounds worse in my opinion, but you’re in luck. You’ll be staying here with James and the others. Just keep away from the fence and they won’t be able to see you. If you hear them climbing trees just go wait in the training hall downstairs.” He didn’t like that answer, but Cira had already moved on, “Jimbo, Joe, Skipper, you’re with me and we’re leaving immediately.”

She hobbled away to the gate as Jimbo followed, pulling a confused Joe along with an attentive young recruit, “Wait, we’re not fightin’ that army are we? What is that even about?!”

“I’d like to know that myself, but it’s not worth my time right now.” Cira pushed open the gate to the stairs, “James, don’t disappoint me, now. We’ll be back within a few hours.”

“If you screw up, I might really have to stick ya’!” Jimbo added with a huge grin as he hopped down the staircase after Cira.

They made it back into the woods for a short hike before the ground started to incline and get rockier, poking at Cira’s one foot holding all her weight. Despite her pride, she was glad for Jimbo’s next order. “Skips, carry the Captain, it’s about to get steep.”

“If you slip, I’ll be very disappointed.” Cira glared at him from up close as he picked her up. He winced and looked straight uphill taking heavy, firm steps.

“Why’d you bring me?” Her shirtless compatriot Joe asked.

“Never hurts to have idle hands around. You never know when we’ll run into trouble and Skipper’s going to the market. Jimbo and I would have had two legs between us otherwise and I don’t like those numbers.”

He only shrugged as they made their way up towards the high walls of the Cove. As they ascended, Cira heard the familiar sound of frail impacts against Breeze Haven’s barrier and looked through the trees to see faint glints of light as they were repelled. It wasn’t long until the sounds of gunpowder popped off through the trees, but the bullets were deflected as easily as the arrows. Cira Was waiting for them to step it up, but they may as well have been throwing rocks, “Looks like they made it. Is that really all they have?”

“These are pirates, not wizards.” Jimbo replied, “Wick’s got a few, but he keeps them close. Really, he should be back any day now. Could be the reason we’re being chased, but if that were the case one of his mages would definitely have been in the kill crew. I didn’t see any magic comin’ our way earlier.”

“I’d like to get to the bottom of it, but that will have to wait. Let’s hurry.” She sent a blank stare into Skipper’s eyes while her body hung limp in his arms.

“I’m doing my best!” Sweat dripped down his forehead and he had to wipe it on his shoulder as he princess carried Cira.

This is kind of degrading… Wasn’t I supposed to be able to fly around like a banshee after my legs got cut off? I renounced foot travel and was left with only one foot to rely on. What cruel irony.

“We’re almost there, so everyone shut up.” Just as he said, there was a shoddy wooden fence line just up the hill. She could hear pirates howling and boards creaking already. Hangman’s Cove was just on the other side.

“Skipper, this is important. Listen up.” Cira said in a hushed voice, hardly audible over the distant gunfire, “Don’t just replace the food you cooked. Make sure to buy plenty extra, maybe some local specialties if there are any. Variety is the spice of life, they say—though I have plenty of spices so don’t waste any money on them.”

“Perfect,” Jimbo said, “Try to meet back here in an hour. If we don’t see you in two either there’s trouble or ya took off with me coin. I hope neither happens.”

“S-sure thing, Captains! You can count on me.” He set Cira down gently as they stood in front of a poorly patched hole in the fence.

“Joe, you’re with us.” He ripped a thin sheet of wood off to reveal a hole in the splintered fence large enough for even the most corpulent of pirates to squeeze through. “Take the lead and keep a lookout. We’re probably the two highest profile cripples on the island right now.”