Rueln Layheart

“Oh no, not her,” I groaned as I watched Bria get swarmed by her giggling girlfriends. They were so excited for her to play against the boys, so sure she would show everyone up. I was sure of it too considering I was going to be her opponent and all I could feel in that moment was my legs shaking and wanting to collapse beneath me. To call myself nervous was an understatement. How, by the stupid gods, did I always end up in this kind of situation?

Spotting me, Bria smiled and waved before saying something to her friends and running over to pull at my hand again. “Ah! I’m so excited, Rueln! I’ve been wanting to see how you handle a sword since I heard you were Lanarie Aairith.”

“Lanarie Aairith never knew swordplay,” I answered weakly, wanting to just get out of it. “Not like you.” I hated myself for saying that. Bria’s lies didn’t deserve anymore affirmation. It made it worse when she blushed, pleased with herself. “If it’s alright with you, I think I’ll just concede. The victory is yours.”

Her smile was quick to slip away at that idea. I guess I wouldn’t get out of this that easily. It was a lot to hope for. Her hands tightened like vices around my wrists, giving a completely different impression than the teary eyes she expressed to me. “Please, no, Rueln. Don’t give up like that. Why by the all the lords and gods would you say such a thing?! That isn’t at all what I want!”

“Well... the whole point to this is, as Marqus said, you can pick who you dance with. It’s ladies’ choice,” I said hastily, spouting anything and everything I could to get out of this. I would even dance with her if that’s what she wanted. I couldn’t show off more than my magic, which was already crossing a line.

“It’s the lady’s choice to spar with you,” she insisted. “It was the only reason I participated.”

“That wasn’t-” I started, but she leaned closer to me and my argument fell apart. Why did she have to be so close? She’s not trying to kiss me, is she? I leaned back, but could only go so far as long as she held my wrists. They were hurting.

“Please, Rueln,” she begged. “I don’t want any special treatment, not from you. Let me prove myself.”

You’re proving yourself a right pushy brat, I thought. I swallowed and closed my eyes just to avoid her gaze. Everyone was watching us and seeing me act like a coward over her. This whole thing was just stupid. I hated it.

“Al-Alright,” I finally agreed, jerking my hands free. “Fine. I’ll do it.”

I was going to regret this.

“Oh thank you, Rueln! Thank you!” Bria exclaimed, grabbing my face and kissing my cheek. I reeled back, my face flushing red just as the servant came up and curtsied.

“Miss Bria, you will need to change before your match,” the servant reminded her.

“Yes. Yes,” Bria said, waving her away. “I know.” She giggled as I rubbed my cheek furiously, trying to get the sensation of her kiss off me. “You are the shyest boy I’ve ever seen, Rueln. It’s adorable. I’ll be right back. Wait for me!”

“This way, Miss Bria,” the servant said, escorting her back toward the maze entrance and to the estate beyond.

I was tempted to throw myself in the lake, winter or not, just to feel clean. Gross. Why do girls always have to behave like some romantic doe eyed idiots? Did that work on everyone? I looked up, my cheek sore now from how hard I had tried to rub it, and Marqus’s face answered my question. He was mad. Guess that proved my theory. He had a crush on Bria.

“You can have her,” I mumbled, walking over to a bench to wait for my turn and trying to come up with a plan.

I could lose on purpose or pretend like Bria hurt me at the start? I just couldn’t make it look too easy. She already knew I tried to back out once. Even if I let her win, what could she do? Could she prove it? Would it matter? She would get what she wanted anyway and I could avoid revealing Vhal’s skills. I would just have to not use soulforce, and use what Master Esra taught me. I practiced with Finnley all the time. That could work.

This was all easier when we were on the road. I rather deal with bandits than Bria Gracy.

With little choice, I watched as one after one spars began and they announced the victors. Those who lost, gathered together, only a few still excited to watch the others continue.

As the numbers grew, I wondered how much longer it would be before Bria came back. I was about to glance back toward the hedge maze entrance when I noticed Marqus was up, his opponent a sleek, agile looking boy. I thought his name was Amon, but it was only a guess.

“Who do you think will win?”

“Amon,” I answered, my tone bored before I registered someone was there with me. I jumped and looked over to see Tara had joined me, leaning over the bench from behind rather than sitting on it with me.

“I think it’ll be Marqus,” she said, though she had a little pout with the statement. I didn’t think she liked him all that much.

“Why?”

“He brags about training with his sponsor,” she answered, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “It isn’t like with magic and his fight with you. His sponsor is a sword champion. He’ll have the training.”

“Doesn’t mean he has the talent,” I said, turning back to the fight as the pair got into position. “Marqus gets overconfident. He was that way with magic, too. He’s too sure of himself. Amon is calm, comfortable with the idea of a spar. There’s no pressure there to win or lose. He’s just doing it to have fun from the looks of it. Besides,” I added, shifting in my seat and pointing to him. “His small frame tells me he’s agile and flexible. If he uses it right, then he can have the advantage.”

“You know more than you let on, Rueln,” Tara said, smiling at me.

It took me a few seconds to realize that I was letting my passion override my good sense. Finnley and I had been analyzing everything for weeks now over swordsmanship and I couldn’t help that some of it slipped here. “Yeah, well...” I said, looking away from her, “I’m learning about it too. My master isn’t an imperial champion or anything, but she’s really good.”

“So you tried to back out of our bout,” Bria said and I turned to find she had snuck up on me as well and was standing behind me. “It doesn’t matter if you’re just learning. It’s all in good fun,” she teased.

Bria’s elegant dress was gone. In its place was a white shirt with a ruffled lace collar and tight black trousers and boots. She stood with confidence, her blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail to keep her face clear, a practice sword at her hip. It somehow surprised me she looked comfortable dressed that way, as if outside of public view this was how she normally looked. I wouldn’t doubt she knew how to use that practice sword as well.

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The servant who had escorted her out and returned with her offered me a second wooden blade. “For you, sir,” she said.

I took it, noticing it was much more elegant than anything Master Esra had given me and Finnley. Expensive stick. Glancing at the engraving near the hilt, I pressed my thumb over them, wondering what they said, guessing it was some kind of strengthening spell. It would have to be if people were going to get whacked around with pieces of wood and the wood not break. I’ve already gone through two practice swords with Finnley, but that was mostly because we were doing things with them we weren’t supposed to. Master Esra was furious with us.

“Thanks,” I said to the servant before she left us. I stood, planning to slip the practice sword into my belt loop until I was ready to use it, when Bria’s arms came around me from behind and threw me off balance.

“Oh look, Rueln,” she said, pointing. “Amon is amazing!”

“You were right,” Tara added on my other side.

I ducked free of Bria, uncomfortable, and looked up in time to see Amon was dodging everything Marqus was throwing at him. He was quicker on his feet than I first thought, constantly moving but with minimal use of energy, as if he wanted to wear Marqus out before he attacked.

“It’s not fair to use your past life’s skills!” Marqus yelled, his voice carrying easily to us.

“It’s not cheating,” Bria yelled back, cheering for Amon and encouraging the bout to continue.

With the hostess saying otherwise, Marqus had lost his only argument. It forced him to keep going on the attack, even though he was quickly losing ground. As if waiting for the opportunity, as soon as Marqus overextended himself, Amon’s blade knocked Marqus’s out of his hand and he twisted, following through with the movement. All at once, it was over. Amon’s blade pressed into Marqus’s stomach.

Everyone cheered all around me, the sound ringing in my ears as Amon joined the winner’s circle only to see me, Bria, and Tara and smile at the brunette at my side. He didn’t push the moment and joined his friends, who clapped him on the back in congratulations. He handled the win well enough that it tempted me to go talk to him. Unlike most of the kids here, Amon seemed pretty decent.

“Rueln, it’s our turn!” Bria said, tugging at my arm and practically dragging me into the open area as the next match. “Hurry, get ready!”

“Wait, Bria,” I said, surprised to find myself holding the wooden sword and staring across at Bria, who seemed more than ready to attack. The laughter and innocent look had faded in her eyes as she took her starting pose, leaving someone far more serious and certain of themselves. It was a look that I had seen in myself when I used Vhal’s memory, and it unnerved me to see it in her.

“Three strikes or a ‘killing’ blow,” the judge of our match reminded us before they moved out of our way. “Are all parties ready?”

“No,” I said immediately.

“Yes,” Bria said, overriding me much as she had done to Marqus. My expression soured.

“Begin!”

I am embarrassed to say I squeaked like a little girl when Bria charged me, her sword a blur that I barely dodged the swing by jumping backwards. She followed with a second swing that slammed into my left arm. If she were holding a real sword, I have little doubt she would have nearly torn my arm off. My fingers were numb and pain pumped through the muscle with every heartbeat. Even Finnley wasn’t that rough in a practice bout.

“Point, the lady Bria,” the servant announced, thrusting an open palm in Bria’s direction. When she smirked at me, tossing her hair over her shoulder as if hitting me had been far too easy, I ground my teeth together. Tightening the hold on my practice sword, I was about to go on the offense, but before I so much as made a move, she attacked me again.

With only the first attack, I knew she had been training longer than me, probably since she was first sponsored. Not only that, but Bria had talent. It was taking everything I had just to dodge one of every three strikes, leaving me bruised and sore by the time the second point was called.

“I lost,” I said, lowering my sword. She’d hit me three times, and although the servant hadn’t called the third point, it changed nothing in my eyes. “I concee-No. Wait!”

Bria attacked again, her sword going for my throat. Practice sword or not, that could be dangerous. Adrenaline flooded through me and in the next moment my sword was up and blocking hers, her eyes widening in surprised pleasure. I knew then that she had done this on purpose. Another stupid test.

Irritation flickered in my eyes, meeting hers without flinching away. Vhal stared out at her, my nerves falling away and replaced with her experience and assurance. I knew from the seriousness that answered me that Bria saw it. “Our warm up is finished,” she ordered the servant who had been judging our fight. “We start officially now.”

“Yes, Miss.”

“I already conceded,” I growled, freeing my blade from hers. “This is pointless.”

“That depends on your perspective,” she answered, distancing herself before taking her stance again. “Come on, Rueln. Show me what you were hiding.”

“I wasn’t hiding anything,” I lied, moving into my stance. There was no point trying to get her to stop. If I just walked away, then she would only attack me from behind. I had to either survive this and accept defeat again, or hold my ground. I still didn’t want to win. It would reveal too much, but that didn’t mean I was going to just let her beat me with her sword. Right now, she was behaving more like a bully than a real opponent.

Through Vhal’s eyes, her stance was familiar. I knew how to counter it. This time, I was going to be the one forcing her back. Before I could overthink it, or talk myself out of being so reckless, I moved. My soulforce blanketed my body, enforcing Vhal’s memory into every movement.

I cut, I slashed, turning Bria’s display of her talents on its head. I was angry with her for trying to use me like she did everyone else, but instead of lashing out at her and using the sword like a stick, I fell deeper into Vhal. Every move I made was as if I had made it thousands of times before, nothing wasted, no opening left for her to use against me. I was in a trance of my making until, all at once, it was over.

Bria lay on the ground, the tip of my blade resting against her throat as I knelt over her. Sweat coated my face, my chest heaving from the effort I had put into this fight. It had been a blur. I couldn’t even say when Bria had fallen or how her weapon had landed feet away from us. All that matters was she couldn’t use me for her game anymore.

My soulforce faded away and with it, Vhal’s calm. Hands shaking, my body felt stretched out and overused. I knew I wasn’t ready for half of those moves, not in this body, not yet, but it was tomorrow’s regret.

“Wow,” Bria panted, her eyes bright as she met mine. “I knew you were holding back, but I didn’t realize it was this much. Care to help a lady up?” She raised her hand toward me, the audacity to want me to serve her after this.

I let the practice sword still clutched tightly in my hands fall away and I rose, taking a step back from her. “No. I’m not interested in playing your games. Find someone else to amuse yourself with,” I said, shortly before I turned and walked away, forcing my way through the cheering crowd. I needed to get away from her, but until this party was over, I was stuck here, digging my grave deeper and deeper.

Bria didn’t follow me, thankfully, but I couldn’t read the expression I saw on her face either. She wasn’t stupid. She knew there was still more I was hiding. I wouldn’t put it past her to doubt that I was Lanarie Aairith now. She certainly couldn’t wield a blade like I had just done. As far as I knew, my-Vhal’s mother never had training like that.

Covering my face, I groaned. It was happening again. I felt wrong in this body, my limbs too weak and short for the expectations I had for it. I had to fight the sense to brush my hair back, knowing I no longer had enough to even bother with.

Reaching for a teapot on the nearby table, I poured myself a cup, downing the scorching liquid, ignoring how my tongue burned and my throat felt raw from it. I was in the middle of pouring another, trying to calm myself down with the only thing at hand, when I heard Bria’s voice raise above everyone else’s.

“Come along everyone! Now that our fun is over, we’re taking a tour of the Estate and grounds! Everyone must come along,” she said, making sure everyone could hear, even the few who were playing by the lake.

“Everyone, huh?” I mumbled into my cup, my mood sour. “I can’t even enjoy a cup of tea,” I complained and sat my drink down and trudged after them just as everyone headed toward the hedge maze.