Rueln Layheart

I had never said goodbye to anyone before. It was an experience that I really couldn’t say I enjoyed. After the words were out, I clung to my family, too afraid to let go. This whole thing might end up being the best thing I ever experience, an adventure into the unknown. Even if it turns out to be everything I imagined, everything I know is right here with me. Why can’t they come too?

“Have your master write to us every week,” Aleah murmured into my ear as she held me. “I’ll have the postmaster read it to us.”

“I want to know what you see. Tell me what’s out there,” Eidke said, his hand ruffling my already messy hair.

“I’ll tell you everything,” I promised them both.

When it was Papa’s turn, he stood over me with more life in him than I’d seen in months. Master Esra had hired a healer to help him. It was my price for accepting the apprenticeship. His eyes roamed over me for a moment before he kneeled and handed me my pack. I had little more than a spare change of clothes, but I clutched it in my arms like it was a lifeline.

“You’re going to go further than any of us, Rueln,” he said, his large hand resting on my shoulder and giving me a little shake. “When you get there, wherever you go, don’t forget that I’m proud of you.” Papa hugged me one last time and then he guided me in a turn, so I faced my new master, who stood waiting by her horse. “Don’t be afraid. You’re going to do great things. The only one holding you back now is you.”

I turned to look at my father again, trying not to show how afraid I really was. I wasn’t sure at all that I was going to do anything great. It all felt too real now. I wasn’t ready. I wanted to go back home and help Eidke weave or help Aleah with the garden next spring. If I left now, it was all going to be over. I wouldn’t get any of that anymore. This was a mistake. I opened my mouth, about to take everything back and demand to go home, only to see Aleah smile at me. I hesitated for just a second and it was enough for her to ask, “Are you going to hold yourself back anymore?”

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I shook my head and hurriedly wiped at my nose. “No.”

“Then go on,” Eidke urged, grinning. “I’m waiting on my letters.”

I choked out a laugh and finally turned away, running towards my new master and my new life. The massive animal behind her, however, pulled me to a stop before I had made it within a few yards. I stared at the creature with wide eyes, wondering what exactly I was supposed to do. I'd never been near enough to a horse to pet it, let alone ride on its back, and this one looked vicious. The creature eyed me, its ears pinned back along its head. I didn’t know much about them, but I knew that wasn't a friendly greeting. The thing looked like it would bite my hand off if I tried to get any closer to it.

"Are you ready, Rueln?" Esra asked, making a few adjustments to her saddle before she glanced over at me.

I shook my head. She frowned and turned, putting her hands on her hips. "When I ask you a question, you will address me as Master Esra, or simply Master. Am I understood?"

Swallowing, I reluctantly turned my gaze away from the dust-colored mount and focused on her. "Ye-Yes, Master Esra."

"Very well," she said, nodding her head with satisfaction. "Now come here. Have you ever ridden a horse before?"

I took one step forward, eyeing the horse again, then another. "No, Master Esra."

She smiled and reached over to pat her horse's sleek neck. "Well, you're about to. This is Peach. Now come here, don't make me repeat myself. It's time I introduced you two. You will learn to take care of her as one of your duties and when I feel you are ready, you'll get a mount of your own."

I do NOT want one of those things, I thought with wide eyes, even as I obeyed my master.

"Here, give me your hand." She took my hand and spread my fingers flat before laying a small cubed treat on my palm. Gently, she guided me closer to the horse and offered the treat to Peach, hand and all. I closed my eyes, terrified I was about to lose a finger, only to have the weirdest sensation brush over my skin as the horse used its lips to pull the treat into its mouth. My mouth flew open in shock, but I didn't pull away.

Master Esra chuckled, her hand moving from underneath mine to the horse’s forehead, where she rubbed the fur affectionately. “Peach isn’t so bad when you bribe her,” she teased, having noted my reluctance. I saved my fingers once she covered them in drool, staring open-mouthed as the horse’s ears moved around as she chewed on her morsel. I was just happy she didn’t take any fingers. Still chuckling at me, Master moved to the horse’s side and motioned for me to follow. I did and the next thing I knew, she was hoisting me up and into the saddle.

I clutched at the horn as Peach jerked her head up and sidestepped with me on her. Every muscle in my body tensed at the odd sensation, and I shook my head. "I'm going to fall!" I exclaimed.

"No, you won't," Master Esra chided gently. "Relax, I have you. It's a little different at first, but I promise you'll get used to riding. It's quite fun, actually." As she spoke, Master Esra lifted a foot and slid her boot into the stirrup before pushing off the ground and guiding her other leg across the horse's back. In the next instant, her arms were to either side of me, so I felt more secure in the saddle. Peach moved again, shifting her weight and tugging at the bit as if she were eager to be off. This time, however, I slowly allowed myself to relax, gaping with awe.

I was riding a horse!

"Hold on, now," Master Esra murmured as she gently guided the reins to the right. Peach turned immediately to the light touch and when Esra's legs squeezed against the horse's sides, they moved into a walk away from everything I knew. "Bye, Rue!" Aleah called after us, running ahead a few steps to shout at me. I shifted in the saddle so I could turn around enough to see behind us, lifting a hand and waving at my family one last time.

"Bye!" Eidke yelled, a grin on his face from ear to ear. Papa remained silent, but he waved as enthusiastically as Aleah and Eidke.

"Bye," I said, finding it hard to raise my voice loud enough for them to hear. When Peach moved into a trot, I faced forward again and left my family behind.

My smile quickly faded, leaving me with only my unease and the sound of Peach's hooves hitting the compact earth of the road. It was still too early for most people to be out, and the village was quiet. My excitement to ride faded as we traveled further and further from my family. We were only ten minutes from the town square at this pace and once we went through the portal to who knew where, that distance felt immeasurable. We could be halfway across the empire.

I blinked when my master guided the horse away from the town square, away from the portal. I knew it wasn’t active yet, but I thought she was going to pay the guard to turn it on earlier than scheduled. “Wait,” I said, pointing. “The portal’s that way.” Shouldn’t she know this? She had to ride through it, didn’t she?

“We’re not taking the portal,” Master Esra explained.

“But—” I started, but she interrupted me.

“But, nothing,” Master Esra said. I looked up to see her smiling, her expression excited as she urged Peach even faster. I clung to the saddle and straightened myself, afraid I was about to fall. “It is my duty as your master to teach you what I know, and the easiest way I know how to do that is by teaching you the practical way. You’ll learn the basics of taking care of a mount and equipment while we travel. I’ll find you a practice sword, or make one for you in a few weeks, and then I can start teaching you sword forms. It will take time, and if we travel the old-fashioned way, it will give you time to learn without the distractions of the city.”

I couldn’t say I was too fond of that idea. “What about monsters?! Or bandits? Papa told me it’s dangerous!”

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Master Esra chuckled again, completely unafraid. “It’s my trade to fight them. The trick is to stay alive, and I’ve been doing this for years, child. You’ll be alright.” Seeming to sense my unease, she glanced down at me and wrapped one arm around me comfortingly. “Trust in me, Rueln. I will keep you safe.”

That seemed quite a lot to ask considering I had just met her, but in the end, I nodded and finally relaxed into the saddle. She was my master now. I had to trust her. Thankfully, it put my mind to ease that she knew how to stay alive out here if she got paid well enough to keep doing it.

We stopped around noon beside a small stream. Master Esra dismounted, helping me down before she led Peach to the water for her to drink. I groaned as I sat down, surprised by how much my body hurt, especially my inner thighs. How was it possible to be this sore? I was just on my rear all day. The horse did all the work.

Seeing me, Master Esra smiled. “It’ll take a while, but you’ll get used to it. The soreness will ease up after a week.”

“But why am I sore? I was just sitting down,” I complained as she eased down beside me and offered me a sandwich. I stared at it, a little surprised to be offered something with meat before I cautiously took it. Unless it was fish, or small game, my family could hardly afford to buy meat. It was usually saved for special occasions. It felt strang to eat it while we traveled.

“You’re sore,” Master Esra explained, “because you’re using muscles you haven’t used enough. It takes a lot of balance to ride a horse. Your body is learning to move in a new way, so you stay seated in the saddle no matter what the horse does. Pretty soon, you won’t even notice.”

I was still groaning when we mounted Peach again and Master urged the horse on. We didn't stop until the sunset and I could see no sign of civilization beyond the road we followed. It shocked me that wild beasts or a group of men in loincloths hadn’t attacked us trying to rob us of our coppers. The day had been rather peaceful beyond my Master's teasing, the moody horse, and filling the silence with talk.

After we dismounted for the last time, Master Esra took time to show me how to care for Peach, unsaddling her, and rubbing her down before picketing her nearby. The whole time, I wasn't sure how much I actually learned after the horse snapped her teeth at me when I did something she didn't like. Master Esra made a tsking sound with her tongue and pushed the mare's nose away to get her to stop, but I saw the way the horse was eyeing me.

Yeah, well, I don't like you either, I thought, glaring at her as I finished.

"Is she always like that?" I asked when I was at a safe enough distance.

Master Esra was digging through the packs for our dinner. "Huh?" she asked, looking up then following my gaze towards the horse. "Oh, yeah, pretty much. She has a temper, but I wouldn't trade her for anything."

"After meeting her, I don't think I want one," I admitted, sitting down by the fire and offering my hands to the flames. Slowly, my fingers lost the chill of the evening and warmed.

Master Esra smiled, then pulled out a package of dried jerky, handing me a piece. I looked it over, trying to figure out how something this dry could be edible before taking a bite. "Don't judge every horse by the standard that Peach sets. They aren't all like that. Horses have as much personality as we do. You just have to get to know them and meet one that is compatible. Of course, not everyone tries to bond with their horse, but I think it's important. It builds trust."

"I don't understand why it's important," I said, glancing between my master and the horse in the fading daylight.

She reached down and withdrew a knife from the holster at her side and showed it to me. I leaned over and watched the firelight reflect on the blade as she turned it one way and then the other. "Our lives are on the line all the time in our line of work. You need to trust people to have your back the same way they trust you to have theirs. Teamwork is important even when you might be a complete stranger. You need to trust your horse to carry you no matter what and they need to trust you to get them out of danger alive. It's a bond. Out here, Peach is my family, just as you are now."

I turned to face the fire again, watching sparks fly up into the sky and fade. The silence between us lengthened, Master Esra not finding any need to fill it. Why would she? She had been out here alone for years. She was probably used to it.

"Master Esra?" I said hesitantly, uncertain if the question on my tongue was appropriate.

"Hmm?" she asked, her mouth full.

"Do you have a family?"

Master Esra stopped chewing for a moment. When she started again, it was slower, stalling for time as she thought about her answer. I waited until she had swallowed her food and lowered her hand with her next bite down to her lap. Maybe she didn’t want to talk about it.

"I did," she admitted, her voice distant, lost in some memory I couldn't see. "I had a husband." Her deep green eyes shifted to look at me again, smiling with a gentle affection. "I also had a little boy, a little older than you.”

I leaned forward, excited. “Will I get to meet them?”

She shook her head. That gentle look didn’t waver in her eyes. Itjust grew somber. “No. I’m afraid not. They were killed five years ago."

Stunned, all excitement drained away along with the color in my face. “Oh…” Hesitating for a moment, I asked, “How did it happen?”

Master Esra looked away, lifting her eyes up to study the sky as the first stars appeared. “Maybe I’ll tell you another time,” she murmured softly. Taking the hint, I let the subject drop. Shortly after, Master Esra rose to check on Peach once more before she returned with a rolled-up blanket and offered it to me. “It’s going to be an early morning tomorrow, so why don’t you get some sleep? I’m sure you’re tired.”

Oh, was I. Everything hurt, and there was no getting comfortable. Everything from my bum to my back and legs was all sore from the ride, but I took the blanket and tried to get some sleep. It wasn’t long before I realized that, as tired as I was. It was going to be a long night. Master rested on the opposite side of the fire, leaning her back against the saddle and using a shawl as a temporary blanket, since she’d given me the only one she had. It was nice of her, but despite my best effort, I couldn’t fall asleep.

Curling up for warmth, my back to the fire, I stared out into the dark. Knowing I was far from home didn’t seem to matter as I strained my ears for any familiar sounds. The crackling fire was familiar enough, but the rhythm of Master’s breathing didn’t match what I knew. Eidke snored, and there was no press of a warm body sharing my blanket, no feet kicking my legs as they shifted in their sleep. Papa’s coughs were gone, disrupting what brief silence we had in our house, and I couldn’t hear Aleah’s quiet murmur as she talked in her sleep. It was all gone.

I had never felt more alone.

They were probably sitting down by the fire, Aleah just coming home from work to help with dinner. Did they even miss me? My eyes burned as I thought about them, and how much I longed to go back home. I had never been this far from them before. It was the first time I even went a night without my family nearby. Whatever grand adventure I imagined, this weight on my heart hadn’t been in it.

I sniffed, and then quickly wiped my nose, afraid Master Esra would hear me. It wasn't until I sniffed again that I heard her move. I stiffened, turning just enough to see her walk behind me, half of her face illuminated by the soft firelight. Before she could speak, I pulled the blanket over my head and hid so she couldn’t see me wipe at my face.

“You miss them, huh?” Master Esra asked, lowering herself to my side. I didn’t think she was going to talk. I didn’t answer aloud, but I nodded my head, not sure if she could see it under the blanket. “It’s always hard at first, being away from your family. I didn’t like it either when I started training under my master,” Master Esra admitted, pausing a moment before she added, “of course, I was a little younger than you when I started my training.”

That can’t be true, I thought before I slowly rolled over and pulled the blanket down just enough so I could see her. “How could you start your training younger than me? You would have been a little kid.”

Master Esra lifted her hand to hide her mouth, but I saw her smile. She thinks I’m a little kid now, but I’m not. Clearing her throat, she straightened. “My father wanted me to be a merchant like him, so he sent me to train with a friend of his just after my recall test. I stayed with him and his wife until I was ten, miserable with the work and missing my family until I ran off with my uncle when he came for a visit. My uncle trained me with the sword and taught me about the mercenary craft.”

“What about your Papa? What did he think about you leaving?”

“Oh, he was angry with me,” she admitted freely, plucking up a few pieces of grass and fiddling with it in her hands. “But he forgave me. I still visited him whenever I could, using the portals. It was much easier getting away from my uncle for a day or two than my father’s controlling friend.”

I sat up as the idea struck me. “You can use the portals to visit your family?”

Master Esra tilted her head at me and smiled. “I told you before that you could visit them. What? Did you not believe me?”

“When?” I asked, wondering if it would be years before I could see them.

“When we get settled in Threa. That’s where I live. It’ll take maybe a month to get there as we are, but once we’re settled, you’re free to visit your family on rest days.” She lifted a finger, making sure she had my attention. “But I want you back each night. You visit for the day, then return before the portals are closed. That is my rule.”

“Okay,” I agreed readily. Master Esra waited, her brow raising when I answered. It took me a second longer before I realized my mistake and I smiled. "Yes, Master."

"Very well," she said, reaching up to press me back down into my pallet. "Rest now. It's getting late. We can talk more in the morning, and if you have any worries, address them. I don't mind listening."

"Goodnight, Master."

"Goodnight, Rueln," she murmured, reaching out to lay her hand on the top of my head before withdrawing back to the saddle where she had been resting before. I watched her go, then rolled over and closed my eyes. It still took a while to settle my mind, but I eventually drifted into sleep, reassured that there was a goal ahead now and that I would soon see my family again.