Tale 1.5 -『Grief』

Grief breaks you twofold. The life before, and the life after.

That’s the second lesson that I learnt.

My name is Nero.

Ever since I was young, I was fascinated by the heroes. I resolved to be one, albeit with a difference. I was going to be a hard working hero.

Destiny then played a trick. It gave me everything a hero is supposed to have. I inherited a mysterious sword, received an overpowered magic skill, and got a ludicrously cool title.  But it took away my desire to be one.

The day after the destruction happened, I walked for hours. Didn’t feel anything, Didn’t think anything. Just walked and walked. As long as I was walking, I didn’t need to do anything at all.

But then I fell down exhausted and grief overtook me. I don't remember anything of what happened next.

Perhaps that would have been end of me. Dying as a starving, broken, cold bastard.

Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.

But Destiny dealt me another hand. And I survived to feel grief completely.

First is suffering.

Days where I have done nothing at all but lose myself in those memories, in a sick, twisted hope. Hoping that they would change over time, that somehow I was wrong, that Dad and Rujen and Tam and Angie and Fauirs and… they all somehow survived. It doesn’t work.

Second is numbness.

Forcing yourself to feel, but lost the ability to care. No pain, no love, no sorrow, no life. Just a blank state of nonexistence. Endless days of apathy.

The last is not so different.

Most of the time you feel the numbness and the pain. But it is random. Some days you can forget it entirely. Some days it can be completely unbearable. And it remains for the rest of your life.

That’s healing.