I woke up looking out of the window beside my bed.

Like usual, there was a small road lined by two columns of houses with a bright sun shining down on them. This was more or less the same view that I've been seeing for the past six years. Of course, there would be a few deviations such as the sun still being down or a neighbor walking their dog, but in the grand scheme of things, those differences were superficial. They still made the scene seem normal. This was the first time, however, I realized that this view was available for me to see because I lived at the end of a cul-de-sac in the Atlanta suburbs.

That got me thinking... What would happen if I were to one day see nothing but rural grass or an urban skyscraper when I look out of my window instead of the usual? How would I respond to such a change of setting? Is it even something worth responding to?

Never mind. I gave up on my thought. If I kept thinking about it, my head would've started hurting.

I turned to starting my morning routine instead.

But before I could get out of bed, I heard a loud knocking on my door. It was probably my twin sister going to wake me up.

"Sam! Wake up. Mom made breakfast."

My tired self was slow to reply, so she broke my door down to shake me back and forth.

"Okay... Okay, I get it. I'll be downstairs soon," I mumbled, but the shaking didn't stop. "I said I'll be downstairs, Shannon."

The shaking stopped. Shannon must've heard me that time—except she wasn't finished bugging me yet.

"Come on. You know I want to be referred to by my nickname. How many times do I have to say this? Everyone else calls me Shane, but my own twin doesn't. Don't you know how weird that is?"

"Sorry, it's out of habit."

"Then break out of that habit before it causes me problems."

"Easier said than done... Can you leave already?"

I still needed to change out of my pajamas, use the bathroom, and eat breakfast otherwise I was going to miss the school bus.

"Not until you call me Shane," a devilish Shannon promptly replied.

"Do I have to?"

"You don't have to if you want me to see you strip."

I sighed, "Well, it doesn't matter if you see me naked. We are twins after all."

On cue, I jumped out of bed, approached my closet, and began taking off my clothes to which Shannon took exception to. That was an understatement. She looked pissed.

"Go fuck yourself," she said angrily—face red with fire burning in her eyes. "One day, I'll make you call me by my nickname!"

"You can try," I said, trying to act as disinterested as possible while taking off my flannel pajama pants. "Now, do you really want to stay here and stare at my naked body?"

"What's the point if you don't care?"

"You can admire my gains from working out the other day."

Shannon snickered, "Don't make me laugh. There's nothing there but bone. Don't even try to say that that is the ideal male body or some other stupid one-liner like you usually do."

She was slowly but surely crushing my spirit.

"Okay bye!" I encouraged her to leave, and for a second, I thought she was going to leave as she made her way towards what was left of my bedroom door.

Unfortunately for me, she turned right back around as if she was forgetting something and approached me, her chest pushed up right against mine and her nose dangerously close to making contact with mine since we were about the same height.

"Wh-what are you doing?" I stuttered after being somewhat frightened by the sudden close encounter.

"I'll be taking this," she confidently declared as she reached out to something behind me, grabbed it, and took off but not without screaming, "This is mine now!"

I couldn't make out what she took from me—she was so fast that I didn't bother to chase after her. 

It was only after I turned around to examine my closet that I realized my favorite t-shirt, which featured 2D from Gorillaz, was missing from its wooden hanger.

"Tch... She did it again. That's the fifth shirt this month. At this rate, I'll actually have to sneak into her room and get them back or else there'll be no more t-shirts for me to wear..."

I paused for a moment before resuming.

"At least she doesn't take the tops with frills."

***

At Northside High School, every Junior is required to have four meetings—once every marking period—with their assigned counselors. The reasoning behind these meetings goes beyond addressing the academic needs of a student's high school life. They also serve to help prepare the child for adulthood. Consequently, those counselors are obligated to ask us students a barrage of questions inquiring about our future.

That being said, I spent most of my fourth period dreading having to go to my fourth and final meeting which was currently scheduled for lunchtime. I didn't even finish picking the classes I wanted to take next year.

"Is it too late to reschedule the meeting?" I muttered to myself.

"Did you say something, Sam?" Jen, my best friend and deskmate, whispered. At first glance, he looked like he was hard at work on the Calculus worksheet Mr. Long assigned to us. Then I noticed the green piece of paper hiding underneath.

Like me, Jen was rushing to finish picking his classes. This was my chance.

"Jen, what are you taking next year? I can't decide on mine, and I have my meeting right after class."

"I haven't finished deciding yet."

"That's fine. I'll just fill out what you have so far, and we can figure out the rest together. This way, we'll have the same classes for the third year in a row."

Immediately, Jen looked uneasy.

"I don't think that's possible..."

"Sure it is. Just slide your paper to me. Long won't notice."

"No, I'm saying that we can't take the same classes."

"Huh?" How was that possible? There were only so many classes a senior could take, not to mention that Jen and I had the same number of credits. Did he not want us to take the same classes anymore? There was only one way to find out. "Why not?"

"Do I have to say?"

"How bad can it be?"

Jen hesitated, presumably to enter some deep thought before replying, "I guess you're bound to find out sooner or later." He then reluctantly handed over his course signup form.

Scanning through the form's first page, nothing in particular stood out to me, so I filled in the corresponding classes on my form before flipping over to scan the second page.

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It was there that I discovered why Jen was embarrassed to give me his form.

Under mathematics, Advanced Placement Calculus BC was circled—Jen was planning on retaking the class we were attending right now.

"You're failing the class?!" I struggled to keep my shock in a soft whisper.

"No, I simply get turned on from the suffering that is Long's series and sequences tests which is why I'm taking his class again," Jen said sarcastically.

Unfortunately, Mr. Long overheard Jen's crude remark because as soon as Jen said that, Mr. Long announced to the entire class, "Jan, must I remind you that this is an individual assignment to be done on your own without outside assistance from your neighbors?"

"Understood, Mr. Long, but I'm Jen. My twin is in your fifth period."

Mr. Long apologized for his mistake before ordering Jen to get back to work.

I returned Jen's form without taking a look his electives. It didn't matter anymore. Because Jen was going to retake this class next year, there was a zero percent chance we would end up sharing any classes even if every other class was the same.

"I guess I'll pick my electives using the random number generator in my calculator," I muttered.

"Sam, I can explain."

Jen probably noticed my dejected tone.

"Yes, I'm failing this class, and yes, I'm taking it again next year even though the F will still show up on my transcript when I apply to colleges. The thing is, if I don't retake the entire class, I'm definitely not going to get the score I need on the AP exam that'll let me pass out of Calc II of whichever college that accepts me, so I have to do this otherwise I'll be subjecting myself to more pain."

I couldn't help but grumble at this unfortunate turn of events.

By the sound of it, Jen was not just going to be in different classes next year—he was most likely going to attend a different college seeing that his GPA was tanking during the current academic year.

Crap.

A headache.

"Sam, I hope you understand."

***

"Do you know what courses you want to take next year?" my counselor asked me, prompting me to hand her my completed form. "Alright... Hmm..." She looked at it for a quick second before giving me a nod of approval. "Perfect. You seem to be doing well in your current classes, so I'm sure you can handle the workload of four APs."

I couldn't help but think about Jen.

My counselor confidently said I could handle four APs while Jen apparently couldn't handle the four we were taking now. To think, I was previously under the assumption that Jen was more talented at schoolwork than I was. After all, Jen would always be the one who'd tutor me before tests—although the last time that happened was last year.

Did something change?

"Now, on to the next thing. If I remember correctly, you said you're going to apply for college. Have you decided on which ones you want to apply to?"

"Georgia Tech..." That was the school I settled on with Jen early in the year. Of course, the circumstances are different now, so I became a lot less enthusiastic about this decision. But, it was too late to change without disappointing my parents. "That's my target college."

"Solid choice. Local, in-state tuition, and you'll probably see some of your friends there."

"I guess that is true. It'll probably be easier for me to adjust if I go to Georgia Tech. Plus, some of my friends did say they want to go to Georgia Tech. The only issue is that I'll have to say goodbye to my friends who can't attend Georgia Tech with me," I lamented.

However, my counselor ignored me.

"Let's see... With your GPA and SAT score, you should be able to get in comfortably. Do you have any reach schools in mind?"

I didn't have any. I was only concerned about going to a decent school where I could fit in comfortably with people I knew, so I gave no thought to any of the prestigious colleges that you hear so much about. As a result, I gave out a half-assed answer.

"MIT. Harvard. Yale."

"Hmm... Those schools might be a little out of reach." As expected. "How about adding Caltech or John Hopkins?"

What?! I understand not being good enough for MIT, Harvard, and Yale, but how was I qualified for the next tier of schools? This entire time, was I underestimating myself or was I overestimating those colleges?

I thought you had to do something special such as win a science fair, get on the news, or have rich parents who can bribe the college staff to even be considered for admissions. FYI, I didn't have any of those checked off on my profile.

"Well, I suppose I'll add those colleges to my list."

I still couldn't see myself going to a college in the same tier as Caltech or John Hopkins, but if I were to get admitted, my parents would surely be overjoyed.

Whose Asian parents wouldn't be?

Nevertheless, I wanted to stay committed to Georgia Tech and stay close to my family and most of my friends.

"Okay... Final order of business... I'm sure you know what's coming up. Sam, please don't look at me like that. We can't delay this issue any longer. We need to have a discussion about that..."

And that was the reason why I dreaded coming here.

***

At the dinner table, dad asked Shannon how she did on her chemistry test to which she responded with a "Fine" to his displeasure since it usually meant that she bombed it. Before I knew it, dad went all in to interrogate her in hopes of getting her to come clean.

Meanwhile, I started a casual conversation with mom since it was unlikely that dad would ask me about how I did on my chemistry test.

"So... Mom, what's in these dumplings?"

Her reply was entirely in Chinese, so I could only understand half of it. But from what I could pick up, we were eating homemade dumplings with ground beef and leek filling.

"What about these baozi?"

Same response. 

Admittedly, the conversation we were having wasn't all that interesting, but at least I could enjoy the taste of my mom's cooking—the same great food I've been blessed with my entire life—while a yell fest was brewing right across the table.

"Dad, I don't want to talk about it!" Shannon screamed. "Can't you see that you're stressing me out right now?!"

"How about your meeting today with your counselor?" dad asked in unaccented English—suddenly switching topics out of the blue.

"Why don't you ask Sam for once?!"

"Oi. Why're you dragging me into your mess?"

"Sam, how was your meeting today with your counselor?" dad asked me.

"..."

I couldn't respond. To be honest, this was the one question I didn't want to answer mainly because I didn't want to bring up that topic. So, I kept my mouth shut.

That was until my dad sternly repeated his question.

I couldn't lie. If there was something that scared me more than bringing up that that topic, it was my dad. So, I timidly let out a vague response.

"It was fine."

"Sam," dad raised the intensity in his words.

"I turned in the list of courses I'll be taking next year. Four APs in AP Stat, Lit, Bio, and Psych. My counselor said I should be able to manage the workload, so I think I'll have time for college apps." If I couldn't refuse to answer, then I had to pad my answer with enough material so that my dad wouldn't inquire any further. "Lastly, we talked about which colleges I wanted to apply to. I told her what I told you—my target is Georgia Tech."

What did she say? my mom interjected in Chinese.

"She said I should be able to get in comfortably given my GPA and SAT score."

"Wonderful!" my dad said—seemingly pleased with my response.

"My counselor also said I should have some reach schools."

"What do you have in mind?"

"I didn't have any in mind, so I told her MIT, Harvard, and Yale."

"Hah! Let me guess, she probably said they were out of reach for you," Shannon interjected this time to which dad immediately gave her a stare down for her rudeness.

I didn't need him to do that for me though—her comment didn't bother me in the slightest.

"Yeah... But she said I could go ahead and apply to someplace like Caltech or John Hopkins."

I instantly drew in the full attention of everyone at the table including Shannon with mom and dad looking eager to ask me more about it.

"So are you going to apply?" dad continued.

"Sure, but my preference is still Georgia Tech." I tried to leave it at that, but dad wanted to hear my reasoning. "The tuition for those schools are pretty expensive, and I don't want to be in debt after finishing my studies. Besides, Georgia Tech offers a comparable package for in-state tuition."

"Don't worry about the cost of tuition. If you get in, mom and I can cover for you."

"I also don't know if I'll be able to handle the difficulty-"

"You'll be fine," dad cut me off.

He was being annoyingly persistent on the idea of me going to one of those reach schools. I was against it of course. Unfortunately, I couldn't tell him I didn't want to go for a lame reason such as not wanting to be far from home.

It was obvious that my parents prioritized my future over the present.

There was only one way I could satisfy them.

"I guess I'm going to Caltech or John Hopkins if I get accepted..."

I tried my best to hide my disappointment for the purpose of bringing a halt to my dad's questioning and ending our conversation, but I forgot to take into account for Shannon getting a perfect read on me.

"Cheer up, Sam." As expected of my twin, she found an opportunity to establish her dominance in our brother-sister relationship, and she capitalized on it by taking on the role of the extrovert. "Think about it this way, you'll be able to explore the world and meet new people instead of being holed up in a local college like me."

Her so-called bright side was precisely what I didn't want happening.

I could only slump in my chair.

Little did I know that the worst had yet to come.

My mom restarted the conversation.

She asked me about that.

***

By the time midnight came around, the only thing I could think about doing was sleeping.

I had developed a massive headache, making it an unbearable struggle for me to continue working on the homework that needed to be done in less than ten hours.

Having recently finished my shower and brushed my teeth, I stumbled all the way to my closet where I began sifting through my clothes.

"Bleh!" For a second there, I thought about puking, but I assured myself that it was only a headache—and hair in my mouth. "Disgusting..."

As a guy, I had short black hair that rarely grew beyond an inch and a half, so as you can imagine, suddenly growing hair that could extend down to my waist always required some adjustment. I considered tying my hair back so it'd stay out of my eyes as I grabbed a set of violet pajamas.

But, I couldn't.

I went without both the hair tie and my pajamas, walking back to my bed completely naked before laying down and clutching my pillow.

I didn't want to think about that—the decision due by my next birthday.

It was impossible, however.

My body only served as a reminder.

In the end, the thought stuck with me until I could finally enter a deep slumber as the twin sister.