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Throne of All: Tournament of the Gods
David Chapter 2: The Pizza Boy Strikes Again!

David Chapter 2: The Pizza Boy Strikes Again!

Hvethrungr here again.

Man, three straight hours of writing later, and I'm totally mentally drained. All I had the energy for was to toss this through a spell check. I probably should have started earlier. Oh well.

For those of you who don't read ANUC (probably all of you...), I have a new writing schedule. Every Tuesday and Friday (Fridays are for any other projects I have, but until I come up with a new one it will be this) I'll be writing a new chapter of Throne.

I'll probably be heavily editing these two chapters tomorrow, when I have the energy.

Happy reading!

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“Allow me to elaborate.”, began Unora.

They were still on the roof. David had sat down cross legged, while Unora perched on the ground in front of him. Despite his attitude, David was interested in what she had to say.

“My companions and I are what you mortals refer to as gods, similar to those in your pantheons, though the proper term is Deia.

Each of us Deia holds equal and unmeasurable power, the likes of which mortals cannot comprehend. For as long as any of us can remember, we have been watched over by God, a being of strength greater even than our own.

Now, God is dead, and a grand tournament is being held to determine which Deia will take the throne, and become the new God. One hundred mortals from earth will be chosen by Deia and transported to Gaia, a world ten times the size of Earth, one filled with magic and the creatures that fill your dreams and nightmares. When one thousand years has passed, the champion that holds sway over the most amount of Gaia will be given the right to choose the new God.

We would like you, David Jon Tailor, to be our champion in this tournament.”

David rocked back on his butt, taking in all the new information. True to his nature, it did not take very long.

“Alright, why not? Sounds fun. Are you ready to go?”, he said with a smile.

Unora stared at him for a moment.

“There is one thing I did not mention. You can not take your body with you. Only the soul may travel the road between worlds. In other words, you must die.”, she said dramatically.

David stopped. “Dang. I’ve only just got used to this body too!”, he grinned.

If ravens could look confused, Unora’s avian face would be twisted in it at that moment.

“You... Would face death with so little thought?”, she asked hesitantly.

“Hmm? Well sure, being dead’s probably not all that bad. Plus, if you’re telling the truth, I’ll get to live at least another thousand years after I die. I wonder if they have ice cream in Gaia. I hope so, I love ice cream.”, David replied.

Unora sighed. This man was slowly getting on her divine nerves.

“If you wish, we can create you a body on Gaia that is identical to the one you have now.”

“Oh, cool, how does that work? Are you going to birth out a little mini me?”

A grinding sound could almost be heard as Unora gritted her nonexistent teeth.

“You had best hurry and die, then. There are already three champions in Gaia. Once that number reaches one hundred, you will no longer be able to participate.”

“Three pre-jacks already, huh? Better get moving then. Hmm, what’s the funniest way I could die on short notice?”, David wondered aloud. He got up and brushed himself off, then had a sudden idea.

”Oh, perfect! I’ll go pay those red bugs a visit.”

“Wait!”, Unora called out. David turned around with an eyebrow raised.

“As our champion, you have the right to choose any three powers. These powers will be implanted onto your soul, so even if you die, as long as you can find another vessel, you will keep them. These powers can be anything you can imagine, though it will be easier to implant them onto you the more meaningful they are to you.”

David grinned. “Oh, cool! Can I shoot lasers out of my eyes and stuff?”, he asked excitedly.

“If... You wish. Though that would be a very unwise use of our gift. We shall meet again after your death, so think upon it as you travel.

At that, he nodded to her and jogged down the university stairs, leaving Unora to her own devices on the roof.

When she was alone, she sighed, and muttered mournfully, “Why couldn’t he have found a normal mortal for once?”

David stood in front of a beat up warehouse somewhere in the harbour area. On the front door was a crudely painted red scorpion.

Somewhere along the way, David had managed to acquire a Pizza Hut cap and pizza box, and a wooden baseball bat.

He knocked on the door with the bat confidently, and heard shuffling and cursing coming from within.

“Who the hell is it?!”, a voice called from within.

“Pizza delivery!”, David called back.

“The fuck? Who the hell’s ordering pizza at three o’clock?! I fucking swear, if it was that motherfucker Jerry again, I’ll kick his goddamn ass.”, as the man spoke, David could hear him unlocking multiple locks.

The door swung open, revealing a thin young man with a scraggly beard and baggy red clothing.

“Alright, the fuck you got for me, kid.”, he asked, looking bored.

David smiled widely at him, and said brightly, “A trip to the hospital!”

The man looked blankly at him. David though he might need waking up, so he smashed his bat into the man’s balls. Then he made a girly squealing noise, so David bashed him in the side of the head, then a few more times as he went down.

David cracked his neck a few times and took a deep breath, smiling widely. Nothing like a bit of senseless violence to brighten your day!

He opened the pizza box, and wrinkled his nose.

“Ew, hawaiian. You can keep that.”, he said, and dumped the pizza on the man’s bleeding head.

David whistled a merry tune as he entered the warehouse, only slightly disappointed in the nature of the looted pizza. Through the door, he found himself in a sparse room, populated only with a single wooden chair and a few cigarette butts.

On the other end of the room was a second door, which David promptly opened, finding himself in a short hallway. When he did so, he heard a voice from around the left corner.

“Yo Bo, is’at my pizza?”

There was muffled shuffling, and another voice called out, “Fuck Jerry, you ordered pizza again?! This is the third fucking time today!”

“Shit, man. When a man gets hungry, he gets hungry, or something. ‘Sides, pizza’s good for you. It’s got... y’know... Protein and shit.”, the first voice answered.

David grinned darkly, and cleared his throat.

He adopted an angry expression, and shouted around the corner, mimicking the doorman’s voice, “Yeah Jer, I got your shitty pizza up here. If you want it, you gotta get off your fuckin’ ass and get it!”

“Fuuuuck, man! I don’t got time for that shit, just bring it over here!”, Jerry shouted.

“Fuck you! I ain’t your goddamn delivery boy!”, David shouted back in Bo’s voice.

There was no reply for a moment, then David heard springs creaking and muffled swearing coming from around the corner. Loud footfalls echoed in a slow beat, as somebody heavy walked down the hall toward him. David waited casually around the corner, and soon a very large man in red clothing walked around the corner. He spotted David, and froze.

“Shit, Bo, did ya finally shave?”, he asked, confused.

David smiled pleasantly at him, and said in Bo’s voice, “Fuck naw, Bo’s outside knocked the fuck out.”

Jerry looked confused for a moment.

David took this opportunity to bash his bat up into his chin, while saying, “Here’s your goddamn pizza, motherfucker.”

Jerry’s eyes rolled back, and he fell back slowly, knocked out cold before he even hit the ground. When he did land, it made a loud thump, making David cringe. Fortunately, it didn’t seem to have alerted the other men in the next room.

David looked through Jerry’s body, but found only his wallet and an old pizza crust in his left back pocket.

Somewhat disappointed that he didn’t find a better weapon, David took off his shoes and stuffed them into his backpack quietly.

Soundlessly, he crept along the left wall and made his way over to where he had heard the voices coming from. A dozen steps later, he found himself looking into a small room. Two ratty couches, a coffee table, and an old television sat in the room.

From his vantage point, David could see a red capped head poking up over the back of the couch. From the man’s position, there was no way he could see David.

He readied his bloody bat and made his way across the room to the brown couch. On his way, David noticed that brown didn’t seem to be the couch’s original colour.

When he was directly behind the sitting man, David lifted the bat above his head, ready to strike.

Suddenly, a voice called out from the other side of the room.

“Da fuck?!”

David’s head snapped over, and found a gangster in a previously unseen doorway staring at him incredulously from across the room.

Suddenly, the man reached behind him, and David slammed the bat down on the couch man’s head swiftly and brutally. A sickening crunch could be heard, and David ducked behind the couch just in time, as the doorway man pulled out a handgun and let loose three shots.

Unfortunately for David, stained couches are not very bulletproof. Two of the small bullets blasted through the poor furniture and missed him by a mile, but one managed to skim his side, leaving a bleeding gash.

Acting quickly, David pushed against the couch with all his strength, and rolled it over, leaving a very dead gangster ripe for the pickings.

David lifted up the back of the man’s gang jersey, and found a small handgun tucked into his pants. He grabbed the handgun, and checked the chamber, finding it loaded. He also found that gangsters like to keep their guns tucked into their pants with the safety off.

David crawled over to the side of the couch, and took a deep breath. He had never fired a gun before, but how hard could it be?

He swung his body around the couch, and aimed at the doorway. The man had moved up to the coffee table, and David had to swing his aim a bit to hit him.

He pulled the trigger.

The deafening sound of the shot jolted his arms, but he managed to hold on, and even let loose a few more shots.

David saw the man jerk twice as a bullet went through his left shoulder, then right into the center of the chest. The man went down clutching at his chest.

As his hearing came back, David could hear the man coughing and gurgling softly.

He got up and began to walk over, keeping his gun aimed at the downed man. When he saw the gangster try to lift his arm, David sent four more shots into him, this time all of them solid hits. One of them must have gone into his heart, because the man stopped moving.

David didn’t move for a minute, letting his racing heartbeat calm down.

“Number three of the bucket list, get into a gunfight. Check!”, David grinned.

David knew he couldn’t wait for long, people were bound to have heard the gun shots. So, he pried the second handgun out of the dead gangster's hand and moved to the hallway the man had come from.

David frowned as he examined it. It was long, and empty of hiding spots. Probably to trap intruders like him.

He shrugged. He was here to die anyway.

He moved into the deathtrap, a pistol in each hand pointing down it.

Stolen novel; please report.

When he was halfway through, a man sprinted around the corner, a rifle in his hands. He looked surprised as he saw David in the hallway, and tried to lift his gun.

David reacted first, and sent a hail of bullets down the hall.

Unfortunately, as he found out quickly, it wasn’t very easy to aim with a gun in each hand.

Bullets flew haphazardly, hitting the walls, floor, and ceiling, often not hitting anywhere near his intended target. He didn’t stop shooting, though, even as a rifle bullet screamed past his ear, even as one of his own bullets lodged itself in the head of his target.

His hearing slowly came back once again, and he noticed that no more bullets were firing out of his pistols. Instead, a light clicking only sounded as he pulled the triggers. He promptly dropped his weapons and sprinted down the hallway.

Unfortunately, before he could get his hands on a new weapon, another man came around the corner. Instead of a gun, however, he held in his hands a longsword of all things.

David grinned confidently.

“Guess I’m getting some early lessons in swordplay”, he muttered to himself, and continued sprinting.

The new enemy, who had been looking at david in shock, glanced at his feet, and noticed his dead companion. Shock turned to rage, and he rushed at David, sword held overhead ready to strike at him.

They met a few meters from the dead rifleman. The sword wielder swung his sword down hard, aiming for David’s head. At the last second, David twisted right, barely dodging the sword and slipping past the man. He kept running.

David dropped to his knees and slid the last meter to his target: the rifle. He picked it up, prying the dead man’s hand off the trigger, and lifted it up, aiming at his new target. The man, seeing this, grimaced and held his hands up in terror.

When David pulled the trigger, however, a dull clack came from the gun instead.

“Fuck.”, David swore as he noticed the bolt on the right of the gun.

Realizing he wasn’t dead yet, the man with the sword rushed at him with a cry, holding the sword with the point towards David.

David grabbed the bolt, trying desperately to figure out how to pull it back.

The man was only a meter from him now, and with a “Fuck it.”, David hopped to his feet and blocked the incoming sword with the wooden stock of the rifle. It stuck in deeply, the sword bending deeply, but not breaking.

David kicked out with all his strength at the man’s knee, and felt a satisfying snap.

The man cried out in pain, and let go of the sword in favour of holding his inverted knee.

David swung the rifle, hitting the man in the face with the barrel of the rifle, and he went down groaning.

After a moment of indecision, David abandoned the rifle in favour of prying the sword out of the gun. With a feat of strength, he managed to pull it out, and ran the rest of the way to the end of the hallway, turning the corner with abandon.

He was met with a hail of gunfire, and a bullet slammed into his shoulder, spinning him back around the corner.

He slumped back against the wall, holding his shoulder, blood leaking between his fingers.

Sighing, David wondered what he could possibly do to turn the situation around. He had only caught a glimpse of it, but about ten meters down the hallway around the corner were three men. Two had some kind of one handed gun, but the man in the middle held a semi-automatic rifle. How the hell he had managed to get ahold of one in Canada, David had no idea.

However, upon reviewing the situation, he did have an idea of how to deal with it.

The answer was laying next to him in a pool of blood.

David looked up to the ceiling, a solemn look on his face. “Look’s like this is the end of the road, huh?”

Slowly, his mouth stretched into a grin. “At least I’ll go out with a bang.”

With that, he moved over to the dead gangster. He put his left arm around the man’s torso, just under his armpits, and heaved, lifting him off the ground.

David grunted in effort. ‘Damn, lay off the pizza, guys.’, he thought bitterly as he struggled with the weight.

David hugged the dead man to him with his left arm, holding the sword loosely with his right.

He took a few short breaths to hype himself up, and then ran around the corner.

The gangsters started shooting immediately. Time seemed to slow down, and David wondered if they had been waiting for reinforcements, since they hadn’t moved an inch in the time he was preparing.

Then a bullet slammed into his left arm and everything sped up. The body he held jerked as bullet after bullet went into it, but for the most part, none of them managed to get all the way through.

A sharp pain in his calf was all the warning he got as the shooters switch to firing at his legs.

They were torn to shreds, and David screamed in agony. He began falling, and used what strength he had left to hurl the sword he held at the rifleman in the middle.

He felt a slight bit of satisfaction at the sight of it going through the man’s throat before one of them put a bullet through his head, and everything went dark.

It was a bit like waking up after a deep sleep, except he couldn't’ feel, see or really use any of his senses except hearing. In fact, he only knew that because a familiar voice spoke in his ear once he regained consciousness.

“A valiant effort. If you were a warrior on Gaia I might've revived you so I could watch you fight some more. You should have gone for the rifle, though.

David tried to speak, but found he was unable to. So, he just thought his answer back.

‘Couldn’t figure out how to use the damn thing. You might not have noticed, but I’m not exactly a firearms expert. Was not, I suppose. I am dead, right?’

“Indeed.”, stated the voice of Bruno. “Your mission to die was a spectacular success.”

“Yes.”, came the Unora’s voice, from slightly further away. “I have placed you in a temporary astral construct. In about 3 minutes, It will disperse and your soul will once more be free to move. Now, before we waste any more time chatting, what abilities do you wish for? And please tell me you put some thought into it beforehand.”

‘Of course I did! What do you take me for, some sort of hooligan?’, David thought, pretending to be offended.

A barely audible “Yes.” came from the darkness, but David pretended he hadn’t heard her.

‘So then, I’ll take, uhhh... What was it again?’, he paused, thinking.

‘Double cheeseburger with fries? No, that wasn’t it. Oh, right! I’d like Immortality, since I don’t wanna go searching for it while I’m there, the ability to learn things really fast, and the power to create any object I can imagine.”

There was silence, and an odd sound David thought resembled somebody typing on a keyboard.

“Are you certain those are the powers you want?”, Unora asked him.

“Hmm. I would have thought you would choose a combat ability.”, Bruno chipped in.

‘I can always learn to fight, but I can’t learn to create things out of thin air or live forever, now can I? And yeah, lock me in.’, David replied.

Bruno laughed a deep rumbling laugh, contrary to his regular speaking voice, and mumbled, “Indeed, indeed.”

David got the faint impression that Unora was surprised at his words, but before he could mock her, a blue screen appeared in front of him.

Name: David Jon TailorClass: N/ATitles:Warrior to the EndHealth: N/AMana: N/AStamina: N/ASoul level:

MortalPhysical Status:Soul Status (non deteriorating):N/ABlessed, Powered, ReincarnatedBlessings: 3 (Limit 30)Deia Patrons: 3 (no limit)Powers: 3 (limit:

3)Followers: 0Strength (Physical): N\AEndurance (Physical): N/ADexterity (Physical):

N/AAgility (Physical): N/AMana Pool Size: N/AMental Resistance: N/ALife Energy:

N/AConjure Object (Reset Timer): N/APowersImmortality (Lesser)The holder of this power will have an infinite lifespan. This power automatically repairs cell and DNA degeneration due to old age. The holder will take damage and heal from physical trauma normally.Conjure ObjectOnce per day, the user may conjure any object he can imagine within a 30cm cubed area. The detail, mechanics, and physical nature of the object are up to the user’s power of imagination and their understanding of the object they are attempting to conjure.Quick LearnerThe user is able to learn new subjects 5 to 20 times the regular rate depending on the nature of the subject and length of time learning would normally take. The longer it would take for a regular person to learn a subject, the faster the user will be able to do so.

“That is your stat screen.”, Unora stated. “We Deia use it to keep track of our power and influence. While your version is a lesser model, we have collectively deemed it useful for the champions to have access to it.”

As David scanned through the screen, he noticed some things regarding his new powers.

‘I guess you can’t just make the champions OP as heck.’, he thought, more to himself than anything.

Indeed, the powers were slightly more restrictive than what he had imagined, but was, ultimately, more than he had expected when he first decided to go through with this.

“Your temporary body is dispersing now. Your new body is complete as well. You may find some slight disorientation and discomfort when moving in, but it should pass quickly. Oh, I forgot to mention something. During the thousand year period the tournament is held in, we Deia will only be able to contact you directly a total of one thousand times. I wish you luck, David Jon Tailor.”, Unora said quickly.

David was confused, he certainly didn’t feel like he was dying again, though he supposed that was a good thing. Dying hurt a lot the first time around.

Then, everything went dark again.

Before his consciousness had completely faded, however, a soft feminine voice almost like a child’s, giggled and said, “Good luck, my little champion!”

He felt a slight burning pain, like someone had touched a hot pan to his entire body at once, and then it was gone.

David’s eyes snapped open.

Instead of a hospital ceiling or the faces of angels, David was treated to the sight of a wide blue sky.

He sat up, feeling a little unbalanced, and took stock of his surroundings.

He was completely naked, sitting on top of a grassy knoll surrounded by dense forest.

David looked at his loose dangly bits, then shook his fist at the sky, shouting, “Why couldn’t you have birthed me with some clothes on, ya damn bird!”