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I didn’t knew what I was doing. My thoughts were jostling inside my head, painfully reminding me of what I’ve done in less than a day.
I was a protector… Then why did I always act so aggressively?
I was a hero… Then why did I always choose to behave so rashly?
That was obviously a lie I told myself when I discovered those powers… Then why did those words sounded true in my mind? Even now after committing those one-sided massacres?
I didn’t knew what more I could accomplish in my current condition. Certainly more genocides if I didn’t recollect my memory quickly.
Before pursuing our journey, I managed to convince Nilie to keep me company. The poor lad hadn’t muttered a word since the events at the camp, the disappearance of all those people must have shocked him so much. He needed some time alone, until he could get over with it.
Night fell upon us, and again I could profit from my nyctalopia in this sunless time of the day. This innate gift helped me during my travel in those caverns, but now it only served as eating away the colours of the world.
The green leaves, the dark starry sky, even the twin blue moons displayed a bland grey with no emotion. Even though I could clearly distinguish the surroundings, this sadly provided a dull sight to me.
My feet stopped by themselves. The call felt stronger, attracting me with a new-found strength. I could sense it. It was here, somewhere inside the village under the mountain.
“We’re here…” I whispered in relief.
The high peak overshadowed the moons, painting the world back to one with no light at all. But I needed no light to watch over the numerous and cozy huts gathering around the common area. A big pile of woods laid in the center of the plaza, probably a bonfire the villagers light for the festivals.
Everybody was sleeping, leaving the entire place in a silence that dulled me. I saw no guards at the entrance, a sign that the region was nice, or just plain stupidity from those people. I refused to believe people were dumb, so it must have been the former.
“We’re finally here…” I repeated a tad louder, feeling a heavy weigh leaving my mind.
“I’m sorry spirit…” interrupted Nilie at my words “… But this is not my village.”
“Not your… Oh, was I supposed to escort him to his birthplace?” I first thought the debt was about protecting him until I did enough for him, but was my duty as a spirit actually to bring him back to his home? "My bad…” I thought with guilt in mind.
“We just need to make a stop here. It won’t take long… I hope.”
As we made our way inside the village, I felt the place was… Overly familiar to me. Whenever I looked at a lodge, I unconsciously drew a picture over it, as if I was used to the view since ages.
I recognized the inn where passers slept for the night, the woodcutter’s home over there with his life full due to his pesky wife and his lazy sons, the herbalist with his famous habit to spend his journey writing whatever crossed his mind in a grimoire.
Everybody was busy the whole day, then all gathered around the grand fire to play, dance and drink together. I remembered all of this… I was there, with them…
I… Lived here, long ago.
“Spirit?” Nilie brought me back to reality. Maybe I’ve been daydreaming too much and he noticed I didn’t move. “Sorry.” I quickly apologized before resuming our walk towards the building at the center.
We stood in front of a chapel, the wall of sturdy planks protected believers from the wind while the straw roof guarded them from the rain. This was the place, this was where the call originated.
“Spirit, this is…”
“You don’t have to come.” He didn’t have to voice his complaint here. I knew he wouldn’t be welcome inside this holy sanctuary. I opened the door and went inside without my companion.
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After a few step, a warm breath embraced me, curing me from my exhaustion and clearing my mind from any lingering clouds. I was still amnesiac, however I did feel more serene while my eyes jumped from one place to another.
Around twelve benches were aligned in the center, arranged in two neat lines facing the back of the chapel. At each side, I could see many treasures with no gold, mostly ceramics, bone and wood crafts ranged between modest and high quality. Many were tiny statues of animals living in the wood such as small lizards standing on two or four legs, but I still saw a few larger depicting a bird grandly unfolding its wings.
I walked in the middle of the hallway until I faced the most sacred object of the place. An effigy of a woman with her hands placed on her heart. She was smiling, and somehow showed an expression of joy. I felt like a child being smiled upon by his mother when I stared at her.
But the call came from the floor above.
I made my way behind the wooden woman where stairs could lead me up, where my road would finally end. There were many doors in the corridor, but I knew which one I had to open. I grabbed the handle, and pushed the door.
I saw the faint light of a candle burning behind a figure. She was sitting at her office, holding her head between her hands. She probably tried to fight against her drowsiness, but failed to do so as she didn’t react at my presence.
I couldn’t help but look around the room, noticing how modest the decorations and the furniture were compared to the first floor. Is this what they called the difference between public and private life?
Finally, I laid my eyes on the sleeping woman, confirming my last doubt. The call emanated from her, I could sense it.
She was undoubtedly the one who called me ever since I woke up.
I took a deep breath, I needed to not lose my temper here. But the first words that escaped my mouth was “Why…?”
The woman suddenly tensed up, my voice must have pulled her from her dreams. It only took a short time for her to regain her sense before turning around on her chair to face me.
In the night with no light, I could see nothing but tint of black and grey, but she… She was unnatural. My vision seemed to catch some abnormalities around her. I couldn’t explain well the phenomenon, all it did was confirm my suspicions.
She was not human. Then she was probably the same as Iorivalith. Which leads me to believe she knew the past me… But also she could also have the intention to stop me with any means.
My manacles emitted their usual shine while I thought about guarding myself, but her words dismissed all my worry.
“So it’s you… I dreaded he would come first…”
That wasn’t actually the words that soothed me, but her voice. I regained enough of my memories to start reacting to such stimulus, and her tone was familiar to my ears. I knew her, and I knew she was a friend… But how could I be certain she was still on my side?
“If you dare move from your seat, I shall purge you from this world.” I threatened her, my gauntlets shining more than ever with a mix of anger and distrust.
She frowned at my menace “What happened to you on your travel? You never showed such hostility before…”
“What happened to me?” I answered back with force. “I woke up in a sombre cavern all alone, I was almost eaten alive by a mymu, some bandits try to use me, and then I met this woman… Iorivalith. She threw a red orb at me, trying to imprison me in the Limbo where thousands of demons assaulted me!”
I pointed my gauntlet at her, ready to cast the miracle.
“But ever since I woke up… I heard a call, luring me here for who knows what reason. That was my only clue at that time, so I followed the trails. And now here I am. You called me, so what do you want? Tell me what do you want more from me?!”
The sitting woman patiently listened to me, never averting her eyes from my glare. Only now did I understood I must have looked crazy or something, making me feels embarrassed about my tantrum. Only now did I understood… I didn’t really care what happened to me today. That wasn’t how I wanted this question to be asked or answered.
My legs lost strength as I realized what I really wanted to know. I threatened her again with my manacle, because that was all I knew to do in my current state. “What happened to me?
Where is everyone?
Why have I lost my memory?”
…
A delicate hand touched my shoulder. I lifted my head to stare back at the woman… At Aederinilitium, who showed a smile back at me.
“It’s okay.” She softly said to me. “You are not alone anymore.”
I wasn’t alone anymore… I… I let go of the energy in my manacles, I saw no more reason to keep them activated.
It only took a day, yet I felt like this journey lasted for decades. After everything that happened so far, all those trials I went through to get here, all those people I met on my way… It was finally over. I was finally at home.
…
Aeder made me sit on the bed where I recounted my tale, how furious I became and pitiful I felt afterwards. I should have been careful, I knew, but I wasn’t able to predict someone could become so unstable with memory loss.
All I did was telling her everything that weighed on my mind, while she silently waited for me to finish, carefully listening to all I had to say.
“… I lost Roi… Iorivalith tried to kill me… Tell me, Aeder. What am I? Who was I in the past?”
There was a long silence in the room. For the first time since our meeting, I saw Aeder diverting her gaze to the ground, probably thinking what would be the best way to announce the news to me.
At last, she stared back at me again, and told me “I think it is better if I cure your amnesia first.”
“You… You really can?” I immediately asked back, surprised she would offer a medicine to my condition.
“Of course I can. Lie down on the bed. This will only take a second.” I complied with her words, slowing my breathing to loosen up my body. “Now just close your eyes… And take a deep breath first.”
I filled my lungs with air, while at the same time I sensed energy gathering inside her. She was about to cast a spell on me. Should I trust her? What’s the worst that could happen to me now? I let my consciousness randomly wander through various thoughts, before a flash filled my mind with white.