We stayed there in that crimson chamber for the rest of the night. Mother let me sleep in her bed like she used to when I was a child and had a nightmare, or something else had gone wrong. The last time I’d woken up on those scarlet sheets had been… Oh. It was when Father died.

I will not relate here what passed between us that night, what words were said and yelled, what deep wounds uncovered and given space to begin to heal. I intend to be open about everything else in this tale, and will leave out not a single sordid detail. But that night was for me and my mother, and you have no place between us. Not there.

Suffice it to say that I awoke the next morning feeling rather more like a wrung out towel than a human being. The bright light of morning shone through a slim crack in the pale red curtains, still drawn even at what was clearly a late hour. The tears, still so close after last evening’s catharsis, threatened to make their return at the sight. Mother was long gone, of course. The Queen couldn’t take a late morning, even for a daughter with an emotional crisis. But she’d left the curtain drawn shut, and given me the space to sleep as long as I needed. Gods around us, I loved her.

I wasn’t alone in that opinion of course. Mother was the kind of queen that inspired love from all her subjects, whether they be family or not. She was beautiful and kind, the type of queen who truly worked hard to improve the lots of the rich and poor alike. She was fierce and proud and would fight for every person in the kingdom, and they knew it. How could they help but love her? Loste hadn’t been joking when she’d said the consequences for a man found guilty of treason against the crown would be dire at best, and potentially lethal at worst.

The thought of the potential consequences of the previous night’s actions somewhat soured my maudlin mood. Even after all the talking and crying we’d done last night, all the emotions we’d let loose, I was still no closer to understanding myself and my stupidity. Why had I punched Foster? Because he’d pissed me off, because he’d recognized me after I’d identified myself? I wasn’t the kind of person who let loose on people just because I was annoyed. At least, I had thought I wasn’t.

Before I could get too trapped in another spiral of self-recrimination, a knock sounded softly at the door.

“Who is it?” I called.

The door opened gently, and I saw perhaps the person I was least interested in talking to in my still raw state. Emily Loste poked her head into the room and, seeing I was awake, pushed the door open the rest of the way and made her way inside before shutting it behind her.

“Your Highness,” she said. “I am sorry to disturb you.”

“How did you even know I was awake?” I asked. It was something of a disturbing coincidence if in fact it was one, the guard knocking on the door so soon after I’d arisen. Had she been watching me sleep?

“I didn’t. As per my instructions, I have been knocking on the door every fifteen minutes since Her Majesty departed.”

“Ah. I see,” I replied, somewhat embarrassed by my sudden jump to conclusions. Of course she wasn’t watching me sleep. What kind of freak would assume that? “Uh, how long ago was that exactly?”

“Her Majesty arose at dawn as is her habit. I believe that was roughly four hours ago.”

“And you’ve been, what, standing here and knocking on the door since then?” I asked, somewhat incredulous. “Wait, you were here at dawn?”

She looked bemused. “Yes, your Highness.” Her voice tilted up at the end, making the nominally simple agreement into a question of her own.

“After last night? Did you even get any sleep or were you on duty the whole night?” Surely Fallie had given her the rest of the night off. Even she wasn’t cruel enough to make–

“My shift was scheduled to end at midnight. However, given the situation, I was instructed to make myself available to Your Highness and Her Majesty should you need me.” The bemusement shifted into something more akin to genuine surprise. I didn’t know why she was surprised, it seemed like a perfectly normal question to me.

Maybe she’s surprised you thought about another person and their experiences enough to ask, I thought dourly. I hadn’t exactly made the best of impressions on the guardswoman.

At that point though, I was surprised myself. It really wasn’t like Fallie or anyone in the Queen’s Guard to make any of their number work for more than twenty-four hours straight, much less a new recruit.

“They didn’t buy my little addition to the story last night, did they?” I realized. Of course not. I’d thought I was so clever, but likely no one in that room had bought it for an instant. “You’re being punished. For going beyond your authority, or whatever.”

I was treated to a brand new emotion on the guard’s face. She looked awkward, an image that didn’t quite square with her normally stoic demeanor. “I have not been formally disciplined for any actions taken. Your mother was quite clear that I acted rightly. However…” she trailed off, looking down to one side almost bashfully. Was she embarrassed?

“However,” I continued, “Fallie isn’t an idiot, and even if Mother isn’t punishing you, she’s decided you need a reminder of the place of a Queen’s Guard.”

Loste sighed, and I laughed. She looked up at me surprised. “What?”

“Sorry,” I chuckled, “It’s just that I could hear her saying it, just then. I’ve made that exact same sigh, more times than I can count.”

I screwed my face in an exaggerated imitation of Fallie’s disquieted glower, an expression I had more than enough experience to replicate quite accurately indeed. “A Queen’s Guard’s place is not to advise or decide for her principal. Instead it is to assure the principal’s safety in whatever action she takes,” I recited, eliciting a snort from Loste that could almost have been a laugh. If, you know, it had come from a normal person and not an animated rock that had somehow ended up with a body.

“Guardswoman Calanthis is very wise,” she said in reply, cocking one eyebrow at me. “You may wish to improve your Northwestern accent before showing her your impression though. It could use some work.”

I laughed out loud. “Oh don’t worry, she’s seen my Fallie impression more than enough to provide detailed critique on my every failure at accent work. I’d like to see you do better.”

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“Perhaps some other time, Your Highness,” Loste said, the hint of human emotion I’d barely glimpsed slipping back behind her iron mask. “For now, my instructions were to escort you back to your apartments before retiring from duty.”

“Oh fuck me sideways, now I’m the one keeping you awake,” I said as realization hit. “Sorry, shit, let’s go.” I began to rise from the bed but Loste cleared her throat before I could swing my feet down to the dark floorboards below.

“While I appreciate your concern for my wellbeing,” she said, and oh I’m sure that was sarcasm even if she didn’t sound any different from normal. Was she always being sarcastic? A matter for another time. “Your Highness may wish to don some more appropriate attire before walking the halls.”

I looked down at myself and realized that I was wearing exactly what I had been when I’d finally fallen asleep last night. It was one of Mother’s nightgowns, which on her looked elegant yet restrained. On me it hung loose and ill-fitting, making me look like I was a demented housewife in some play, running after my erstwhile husband with a knife and screaming something about ghosts.

“Ah, yes. Thank you, Guardswoman.” We stared at each other for a moment. “If you will excuse me to change?”

I could swear her lips quirked up in a smile, just for the briefest moment. “Of course Your Highness.”

An impulse struck me as she turned to go. “Call me Ris. If anyone’s earned the familiarity, it’s you.”

She bowed. “Thank you for the honor, Your Highness.” She turned and shut the door on my exasperated sigh.

It took a few minutes for me to find something amongst Mother’s voluminous wardrobe that wouldn’t look like a loose burlap sack on my slimmer form. I would have just changed back into yesterday’s clothes but one of the servants must have come in to remove them in the night. It was for the best really. They had been covered in blood, vomit and tears by the time I’d shucked them off. Eventually I found a simple shift in an unobjectionable shade of pale pink, and more importantly a sash I could use to belt the thing around my waist, stopping it from hanging straight and sheer off my shoulders.

I opened the door out into the hallway and saw Loste standing at attention, doing a remarkable job of pretending she hadn’t been awake for more than a full day.

“You know, I really don’t need an escort. I know where my rooms are.”

“Yes Your Highness, but–”

“Ris.”

“As you say, Your Highness,” she replied, bowing slightly at the waist. I huffed, but decided not to make it an issue. Not today at least. “As I was saying, I have instructions from your mother. I would not wish to disappoint Her Majesty.” The “again” was unspoken, but it didn’t need to be. You could tell Loste would rather die than get a reprimand from the woman she so clearly worshiped.

I felt like a complete asshole. I was a complete asshole. The least I could do was not make this worse, and let her get away from me and back to bed. With as much faux cheer as I could muster, I said, “Well let’s be off then!” and began to lead the way.

Loste fell into step with me, a polite one pace behind and to my left. We wound through the hallways, stepping from sunbeam to sunbeam that radiated from the many large windows that dotted the residential wing of the palace. Servants, guards and magistrates alike bustled through the hallways, although there were fewer of the latter than in most other buildings on the palace grounds. Members of the royal bureaucracy had less reason to be in this building, beautiful as it was, where there were people instead of paperwork. Each of them offered a precisely calculated bow and a polite, “Your Highness,” to me. I normally did a better job of greeting the various folk who made it possible for my mother to rule Lymnis as well as she did, but I still felt like absolute shit. I wanted nothing more than to make it back to my apartments, finally release Loste from duty, and collapse into bed and sleep till dinnertime.

Alas, it was not to be. I was ambushed mere feet from my front door by the absolute last person I wanted to see.

“Ah, Your Highness, I’m delighted to see you up and about. We all heard about your unfortunate accident last night. And how is your arm this morning?” asked Eriden Valleysward, Magistrate of Agriculture. Built like a stone wall delineating the edge of a farmer’s field, Eriden was short, wide and sturdy, with an absolutely joyous expression on his face as he trapped me in conversation. I knew he hadn’t actually been lying in wait for me. The man didn’t have a devious bone in his body. He was just so excited to have someone in authority to talk to about grains for once. The bastard.

I offered him a weak smile. “Eriden, how lovely to see you. My arm is much better thank you. Now if I could–” I made a futile gesture towards the door of my apartments, in view and just barely out of reach.

“Wonderful! Simply wonderful, you know Baron Quescol is just marvelous. Why, just the other day he and I were having the most marvelous conversation about malnutrition in the population of the lower Ariellen delta. The man has forgotten more about the human body than you or I will ever know, I’d wager.”

I nodded politely. “I am deeply grateful to Baron Quescol and Siel for aiding my recovery. But–”

“Oh where is my head today? Thank you for the reminder, of course the charming Siel was no less essential. Truly a team, those two, the ideal we all aspire to with our bonds. Speaking of, where is– ah, here you are! Your Highness, you remember Meech don’t you?” The Magistrate patted his coat distractedly until he batted a pocket which let out a disturbed squeak. From the pocket he withdrew a tiny and decidedly grumpy hamster, his fur a glimmering silver shade.

I smiled at Meech, this time with a little more feeling. “Of course I do. How are you, Master Gardener?”

grumbled the hamster. Eriden merely chuckled at the insult from his bonded companion.

“You mustn’t mind Meech. This is just our little banter, isn’t it you charming little man?”

The truth was, Meech wasn’t mad at his partner. This really was how they talked to each other, the one annoyed and the other overly enthusiastic. It made for quite the little routine when they were together, which wasn’t as often as many pairs.

While most humans and beasts who bonded together ended up working and living together, it wasn’t strictly necessary. Many ended up with diverging interests and some magical creatures, on discovering the complexities of human society for the first time, decided to pursue a passion or even a career outside their partner’s sphere. Meech was Second Royal Gardener at the palace, and managed every herb patch and vegetable garden on the grounds. Anything edible grown here was under his mandate. I believe that the two did live together, and their fields overlapped somewhat. I had heard them go at it for hours about fertilizer and crop rotation strategies. But they usually split up every day to do their respective jobs, as I understood it. Perhaps Meech had the day off.

And the truth was, I wasn’t mad at Eriden any more than Meech was. It was impossible to be angry for long at someone as genuinely passionate as he was. Even if I was certain that he’d talk my ear off given the chance.

“Magistrate Eriden, Master Gardener Meech. Excuse my interruption,” said Loste.

The two stopped their jabbering and looked at her surprised. My guards didn’t usually talk, and Loste certainly looked the part of the silent observer.

“While it is true that Her Highness is well-recovered from her… adventure last night, the healing did take up a great deal of her energy. I understand that you have business with her, Magistrate, but perhaps that could be postponed till later in the day.”

The man startled, and he and Meech both fell silent. Eriden looked somewhat ashamed, and while it’s possible Meech did too, I hadn’t the faintest idea how that would show up on a hamster. I couldn’t help but feel bad for him, even as grateful as I was for Loste’s timely interjection. My door looked so damned close, I could almost reach out and touch it.

“I do beg your pardon, Your Highness. I never intended to keep you from your rest. It’s only, this situation in Idena is becoming rather urgent and I was so delighted to hear that you’d chosen to help us out. Nothing like a little royal authority to light the fire under some bums, eh?” He chuckled a bit before continuing. “But of course, if you need the rest, I think the matter can wait some hours. May I call on you at say, two-o-clock?”

“That sounds lovely, Magistrate. And thank you, Guardswoman Loste. I find I rather get caught up in my discussions with these two fine gentlemen, and the thought of rest slipped my mind. Now that you mention it however, I do think a brief nap would do me a world of good.” I gave the two my best charming smile, and briefly flashed Loste a slightly more genuine one. I was grateful to her, even if I knew she was only intervening to get herself to bed sooner rather than out of any sense of charity towards me. I could hardly blame her for wanting to get away from me.

It took a few more minutes to make the necessary polite goodbyes, but finally I strode up to my door and grasped the handle gratefully. “Well Guardswoman, you have fulfilled your duty. I hereby release you from–” I froze.

“Your Highness?” Loste asked, seeming genuinely concerned.

“The handle. It’s unlocked.” I looked her directly in the eyes. “I think someone’s been in my room.”