The parrot paused in her demand for a cracker, looking around for a moment at where she landed. She bent her head low, laying her beak between Jack's eyes.

"Where's—squawk!—your other ear, mate?" she asked. "I thought I landed in between'em."

Jack only whimpered, as it seemed to be his bit in this tale. His one good eye looked forlorn.

Polly's eyes grew wide as saucers. "And—squawk!—where's your other eye!?"

"Nevermind that spit!" remarked Prince Claude, assuming he was standing nearby. "Here comes Mongo!"

The quartet of travelers took note, for Mongo was the name of the alpha male in the pack of wolves they were facing. The pack slowly advanced, all however many of them there were, with the biggest wolf—Mongo—taking the lead.

Prince Claude got in Jynet's face. "Witch! You've got to stop them! Please! They'll tear up the whole town!"

Jynet bent low to look at Jack, still hiding behind her legs. Polly straightened up from her perch on Jack's head, what with Jynet's butt now pretty much square in her face.

"Did you here that?" Jynet said to the two. "Now it's 'please.' This morning, I couldn't get the time of day." She scoffed. "Who is this Mongo anyway?"

"Well—squawk!" Polly said. "Mongo ain't exactly a who. He's more of a what."

"What she squawked," Prince Claude said, bending low to catch Jynet's eye, as she still peered at Jack from between her legs.

Jynet pondered what to do, as her mana was nearly tapped out. Mongo let out a snarl, advancing quickly, being as both Claude and Jynet had their heads down past their butts. Frightened, Prince Claude scampered around Jynet, to join Jack in hiding between her legs.

Jynet pulled out her dagger, to engage the wolves in physical combat. "Oh! Thank you!" Prince Claude cheered before turning to talk to Polly and Jack. "The fool... I mean, the witch is going to do it!"

"Oh no—squawk!" Polly advised Jynet. "Don't do that. If you stab him, you'll only make him mad."

Jynet blinked, taken aback. She calmly addressed the wolves. "Could you hold on for just a moment?" she asked. "I have to confer with my mates."

She turned to talk to the threesome. "You wouldn't happen to know Anthony, would you? Or where I might find him?" The trio looked at one another, confused. "You know," Jynet carried on. "Friend of Adrian? Hunter guy? Has table manners like a pig? Wears wolfskin clothes, I am told, as he prefers eating them best."

Prince Claude and Polly mumbled back and forth, as Jack did his bit, which was whimper.

Jynet continued imploring. "He hangs out with a rabbit these days. And an otter named Susan, who wears glasses."

Prince Claude and Polly shook their heads while Jack whimpered. Jynet became upset.

"For crissake! He was just in the last chain writing story! Didn't you guys read it?"

"No," Prince Claude had to admit.

"I'm—squawk!—a parrot!" Polly said. "I don't read."

Jack, of course, merely whimpered.

As Jynet huffed with exasperation at the group of sissies hiding behind her, a calm voice came from the fore. "Could we get one with this?" the voice asked, dripping sarcasm.

Jynet turned as the pack of wolves parted. From behind them strode an enormous white wolf, the hair on his head piled high in an insanely coiffed pompadour.

Jynet looked aghast. "You... you can talk?"

The white wolf laughed. "Of course! I'm the evil guy in this story. You've never seen the likes of me, have you?"

The foursome all shook their heads.

"That's because I'm the protagonist!" The white wolf reared back on its haunches, to place a paw on his chest. "You may call me Frisör."

"Frisör?" Polly asked. "Are you—squawk!—Swedish?"

"Like a meatball!" Frisör said before laughing again. "Now, speaking of meatballs, and if you'll excuse me," he said to Jynet. "I simply must eat that parrot."

"What?" both Prince Claude and Jynet exclaimed, as Polly squawked and Jack whimpered.

"They are nummy-liscious!" Frisör explained. "Better than chicken!"

"You can't—squawk!—eat me!" Polly said, jumping up and down on Jack's head.

Frisör took a menacing step forward, followed by Mongo and the pack of wolves. Jynet, in kind, took a step back, spreading her arms to protect her mates. She readied her dagger for battle.

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Frisör chuckled an evil chuckle. "And why might that be, pretty Polly?"

Polly flew from Jack's head to land on Jynet's. The bird jumped up and down like a maniac, squawking and talking the whole while.

"Because Polly wants a cracker!" she said as she jumped. "Wants a cracker! Wants a cracker! Wants a cracker!"

"What's wrong with you?" Jynet asked, trying to shoo the parrot away. "Can't you see I'm a little bit busy?"

"Wants a cracker! Wants a cracker! Wants a cracker! Squawk! Squawk!"

Frisör sat down and rolled his eyes. "Just fly into my mouth," he said to Polly, opening wide. "It'll be easier if you do."

"No!" Polly said before squawking. She bent her head low, to place her beak between Jynet's eyes. "Because," she said in a knowing voice, "Polly—squawk—wants a cracker."

"Oh..." Jynet said, catching on.

Although she was low on mana, she did have enough to cast 'Saltines.' She put away her dagger and drew her wand, waving it in the air over her head.

"Zesta Originales!"

In an instant, from a nearby hollow oak tree, a neverendng stream of saltines flew out the hole. Jynet used her wand to direct them at the gaping maw of the white wolf seated before her.

"Ack and hack!" Frisör said as he choked. "And phooey!"

He closed his mouth and readied himself to attack, but to no avail. Jynet directed the stream of saltines at his eyes, filling them with salt and cracker dust. Confused and discombobulated, Frisör thrashed about, smacking into Mongo and the other wolves. The whole pack—however many of them there were—bounced around and fell down like Keystone Cops, until they managed to get up and run away.

"Spaz on the azz!" Jynet cast next, directing the crackers to go up the wolves' butts.

"Beyoncé́—squawk—would not approve of you casting that spell," Polly said.

Jynet grew perturbed. "I don't care, you moron!"

"She probably doesn't like that one either."

Jynet shooed the parrot from her head, yelling the whole time. "How about butt-yodel? Goop-gobbler? Your cancel culture bullspit doesn't frighten me, you rat bastard poop-doodle!"

"Now you're just being silly," Polly said, landing again on Jack's head.

Who whimpered.

Polly gave Jynet a polite head bow. "Thank you for ridding us of those wolves. You are relieved of duty."

Jynet was still shooing, not realizing the bird was long gone. "I relieved a doo-doo?" she asked, confused.

"Duty, you ninny. Squawk! Duty. You are relieved of duty."

Jynet placed her hands akimbo. "And who do you think you are, to be ordering me about?"

Polly flapped her wings and squawked. "I am the princess!"

"The princess?" Jynet asked.

"My princess!" Prince Claude exclaimed.

Jack whimpered.

Princess Polly again bowed her head. "During a harsh winter in my faraway kingdom, an inept warlock cast a spell born of insatiable hunger. With no food, and only hundreds of feathers, he sought to reanimate dead animals by casting their portraits in blood."

"Did it work?" Jynet asked.

Polly gave her the stink eye. "I'm a parrot, you ninny. Squawk. What do you think?"

"My princess!" Prince Claude exclaimed again.

Polly gave him the stink eye as well, but refrained from calling her true love a ninny.

"We must travel across a snowy landscape to get to the tower where the spell had been cast. Once there, we must find the portrait the warlock drew using the blood of this accursed dead parrot I'm stuck in. Only then can I be set free."

"To be my princess!" Prince Claude exclaimed, still beside himself over the revelation.

"Squawk!" Princess Polly said, flying off Jack's head to lead the way.

"You ninny," she called Prince Claude under her breath.

Prince Claude rapped his hands on his knees. "It's a rather long way to her kingdom," he said of his Princess Polly. "And I'm kind of hungry too." He looked around at the trees. "Might there be, you know... any parrots around here we could eat?"

Jynet scooped up a bunch of saltines that hadn't been in a wolf's butt. "Here," she said, stuffing them into Prince Claude's arms. "Have a cracker."

Jack whimpered, trailing after Princess Polly.