Once out of earshot from the slumbering she, Prince Claude addressed the group. "The bickering between us can't continue. We have to get along if we are to reach the end of our quest."

Jynet felt ashamed. She wished the seal on her heart would break, allowing her to express her true feelings toward the prince. As it was, it remained, and because of it she stayed quiet, to do his bidding and defend his pride.

Jack, being the good wolf he was, returned to his proper place in this bit, and thus only whimpered.

Princess Polly squawked and squawked. "I'm still a bloody parrot! Squawk! And a dead one too!"

"Ah, you look fine," said her Prince Claude.

"Look, love. I know a dead parrot when I am one. Squawk. And I am one right now."

"No no no! You look fine! Remarkable plumage too."

"Plumage?" Princess Polly raged. "Remarkable plumage, you say?" She jumped up and ruffled her feathers. "Why, they're falling off me like fall leaves!" She flew headlong into a tree, bashing her skull most resoundly.

"I am bereft of life! Squawk! Squawk!" She bonked her head repeatedly on the trunk of the tree. "I have ceased to be! Squawk! I'm off my twig! Kicked the bucket! I am a dead parrot!"

Exhausted, she plopped head first on the ground, with her feet up in the air and her back against the tree.

"That is one dead parrot," Jynet remarked, agreeing.

"Nah. She's resting," Prince Claude said. "Stunned herself, I think."

Whimpering, and as wolves are prone to do, Jack walked up to upside-down Polly and sniffed her butt. Gagging on the stench, he retreated to the safety of hiding between Jynet's legs.

"This scene has gone on long enough," she said.

"Quite so!" Prince Claude said. "And too silly. Let's move on, if we may."

"Yes. Let's."

They walked a bit further into the woods, leaving Princess Polly butt up on the tree. "We must find the inept wizard who trapped the spirit of your betrothed inside that dumb dead parrot," Jynet said. "It's a good way for our quest to end."

Prince Claude pursed his lips. "Oh, I don't know. I suppose." He looked upon Jynet with love. "I kind of like the way things are right now."

Jack again gagged. This time it was not due to stench.

While Jynet looked down at the wolf with concern, Prince Claude looked up with dread. "Santa Maria!" he said, sputtering and spitting and trembling. "It's the Mysterious HE!"

Standing stick straight and near ten feet tall, a man cast in bark armor blended into the forest so well that the group had almost walked past. The giant buck antlers adorning his helmet scraped twigs off nearby branches as he bent low to speak.

"Who are you?" he asked.

As Jack whimpered and Prince Claude cowered, Jynet puffed up and spoke proud. "I am the keeper of the sacred words, NI, PING and GEE-WHIZ!"

The giant reared back and laughed. "And I am the keeper of HE!"

"NI!" Jynet cried out with joy. "NI! PING! And GEE-WHIZ!"

The giant spoke in unison. "HE!" he cried in kind. "HE! HE-HE-HE! HE!"

Princess Polly flew into the scene. "Shut up, you bloody Vikings! Shut! Up!"

The giant composed himself. "Ah. Yes. I apologize." he cleared his throat, again standing tall. "You may not pass," he said with authority.

"We mayn't?" Prince Claude asked.

The giant shifted uncomfortably, his antlers scraping more twigs. "Mayn't?" he asked. "Is that a word?"

"Of course mayn't is a word!" Prince Claude replied, brushing fallen twigs from his face. "Mayn't is a good word."

"I prefer saying HE!"

"I like NI!" Jynet exclaimed. "And PING! And GEE-WHIZ!"

"HE! HE! HE!" the giant carried on, overlapping Jynet's words.

"Shut up!" Polly squawked. "Shut up!"

Jack whimpered.

"Look," Prince Claude said, stepping forward. "You have to let us pass. We must complete our quest."

The giant blocked the way, imposing himself like a sequoia. "Well then. First you must appease me."

"Appease you? What do you want?"

The giant looked about. He again shifted uncomfortably while knocking off more twigs.

"Uhm. Well," he stammered. "I want... uh. I want a shrub."

"A shrub?" Prince Claude asked, dodging twigs.

"A shrub!"

"A shrub," Princess Polly grumped at the ridiculous request.

"A shrub!" the giant repeated with force. "HE! HE! HE!"

"PING!" Jynet said. "And GEE-WHIZ!"

"Shut up!" said the prince and the princess.

Jack whimpered.

"Look around," Prince Claude said. "We're in the friggin' forest. There are shrubs all over the place."

The giant looked around. "Ah. Yes. Well. So there are."

Prince Claude took another step forward. "So then, let us pass."

Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

"Um. No. You may not. No you mayn't."

"And just why 'mayn't' we not?"

"Because I said so," said a familiar voice. From behind the Myserious HE strode in the white wolf named Frisör, his pompadour high on his head. "I say you may not pass."

"Mayn't," the giant said to Frisör as an aside.

"Shut up," Frisör said back. He again addressed the group. "You may go no further on your quest because we have to bring this fool tale to an end."

Jynet placed her hands akimbo. "And just what end is that?"

Frisör calmly strode up and placed a paw on her chest. "You are released from your seal," he said. "It's as good an ending as any."

Jynet appeared confused. "I released a doo... Wait a minute. I released what?" she asked.

"Let's not do that bit again," Frisör said, as prince and the princess groaned.

Jack whimpered.

"You can knock it off too," Frisör said to Jack. "I know you can speak. You were doing it in the last chapter."

Jack showed chagrin. "Well, perhaps. But I prefer whimpering."

"I prefer saying HE!" said the giant.

"NI!" said Jynet. "PING! And GEE-WHIZ!"

"HE! HE! HE!" said the giant.

"SHUT UP!" said everyone else.

Except for Jynet, who said, "Ni."

She may have also whimpered however, as she turned white as a sheet. A look of shock took over her face, and she pointed a tembling finger at Prince Claude.

"You're the inept wizard!" she revealed, now that the seal on her heart had been broken.

Prince Claude looked about, as if she had pointed at someone else. "I am not," he lied unconvincingly.

"Yes you are! Has he showed up anywhere else in the story?"

"Uh. Well. I don't know," Prince Claude mumbled. "I haven't read any other chapters."

"Then he is you!" Jynet intoned most gravely, her wavering finger still pointing.

"Oh don't be ridiculous," Prince Claude said, gaining moxie. "Why, he could be along any minute. We're not that close to the end of the story."

"Yes, we are!" Jynet said. "He is you!"

"Oh come come, you daft witch. I am the betrothed of Princess Polly." He plucked the bird from Jack's head and ruffled her feathers, trying to give her a kiss. "I love this dear thing!"

Jynet grabbed the bird away. "You love a dead parrot," Jynet said, still grave. "You killed her, you rat bastard poop doodle!"

"I did nothing of the sort. I just... I gave her a better life, is all."

"A better life?" Jynet sputtered. She beat Princess Polly by the head against the bark armor of the Mysterious HE. "As a dead parrot?"

"I'm not... oof! Quite... oof! Dead yet," Princess Polly squawked between whacks.

"Could you not do that?" asked the giant, looking down. "I bruise easily."

"Oh shut up," Jynet said to them both. She offered Princess Polly to Frisör. "End this bit!"

"Yes," Frisör said. "I agree."

He took Princess Polly in his mouth, and with a few crunchy chomps, ate her up and swallowed her down. Afterwards he let out a belch, with which also came out a few feathers.

And the dead spirit of Princess Polly. Now released from both Prince Claude's curse and her mortal coil, she made a most frightful sound. Howling, and then screeching, the spirit beset the prince. He howled as well, thrashing to no avail as the spirit tore through him. Soon the cries of his torment and the screeching of the dead princess could not be told apart.

"Well. That's rather gruesome," Jynet calmly said.

"Hmm," Frisör said, agreeing. "Shall we take our leave?"

Jynet smiled. "Yes. Let's." The two began strolling away. "Come on, Jack!" Jynet called back. "Come along."

Once having caught up, Jack also whimpered.

"Oh, let's not start that again," Jynet teased.

"Sorry," Jack said, apologizing. "Bad habit, I guess."

"I told you I was the protagonist," Frisör said. "Remember? In Chapter Three?"

Now Jynet apologized. "I know. I thought it was a typo." She put an arm around the shoulder of each of her new friends. "And I never wanted to be a witch."

Frisör looked surprised. "No? Really? You kid!"

Jynet shuddered. "I hate casting spells. I have this terrible fear whenever I cast one. My mother said I was a fool. She said the only way to cure me was to become a witch. Can you imagine?"

Frisör sympathized. "No. I can't."

Jack wanted to whimper, but didn't.

"I don't want to be a witch," Jynet said, sounding wistful. "I want to be... a lumberjack! Ah! The smell of fresh cut timber! The redwood, the Douglas fir, the mighty pine!"

The thressome began to sing, as they skipped tra-la-la through the woods.

"She's a lumberjack and she's okay! She sleeps all night and she works all day!"