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This Is Where I Want To Be
Tidying Up Loose Ends

Tidying Up Loose Ends

134. Tidying Off Loose Ends

Chris

It was harder than I thought. I wanted to be part of their night so badly. Be a family, not just a father. But they needed the time, and it was going so well. I was so proud of Caleb. So proud of Juliet that I had to hold myself back a few times to let her get it out of her system without interference. All her plans… sounded great to me. She wanted to live there. No, she would prefer to live there… But she was already using the time factor on Zoreah… Ira wouldn’t like it… Just for her to get what she wanted. But nothing was set in stone. She was only gathering information, seeing where she stood with the rest of Zoreah.

I had traveled quickly to the city and hid in the shadows, waiting for them. They had to walk some distance to get to the gate from the soft spot. My son and my wife came walking over the horizon. The feelings I had seeing them together, talking and laughing, was all I longed for. Juliet, with a bounce in her step, punching Caleb on the shoulder, running and joking. She took her backpack off his shoulder and sent a flare up into the sky. It wasn’t long before Rodrigo was at the gate.

“Juliet, is that you?”

She waved at him. “You made it, after all. Knew that brain meant something. Did you ever need your army?”

“I don’t know. I’ll tell you when Ira comes back. It’s going to be hard changing En-gannim without some support. But anyway… How are you?”

Rodrigo sat down on the chair he had placed on the other side of the gate. She and Caleb sat down in the sand.

“Why are you here, Juliet? You don’t need me for anything….”

“Why?” She asked.

“He promised me that I would get off Earth, and I would get to come here.”

“Is that it?”

“You seem surprised.”

She fell down in the sand. “I thought I would need to rescue you, but if you want to sit alone in that place with that guy… by all means, go right ahead… You are probably lying anyway….”

“He’s not so bad if he’s not giving little girls concussions.”

She pushed her finger into her mouth, pretending to make herself gag.

“So, are you going to give us the scoop?”

“No scoop… Worked our asses off after the fight. Something you could have done in a day… Thanks a lot.”

Ahasuerus came around the corner and sat down next to Rodrigo.

“Evening Juliet.”

“Hey!”

“You seem tired.”

“You took everything… I had to start from scratch. It’s unfair.”

“Now you see how important it is to leave a legacy… I would have done the same thing if another clan took over… So what have you done with my planet.”

“Your grandson found another habitable one. We moved all the factories there where they could be run by machines… Not women… Got that little creep of my home…. My two husbands and I will fight the other little creep for the water rights. After that… Well, you do the math.”

Ahasuerus actually smiled. “I’m impressed. I thought you would be fighting for women's lib and all that.”

She snorted. “I have five guys I have to keep happy… I think that ship has sailed.”

“And Marcus? How is he?”

Juliet smiled. “Loves being busy with things he thinks are worth it. He is happy and wants a baby. Louis is very busy on Earth… when he got time… Slowly working on relations there.”

“And you?”

“No… I did nothing else but math for the last year… I think I deserve a break. A drink and a cigarette.”

“Your father must be proud. His daughter had to finish what he started.”

She sat up. “See what good relationships can accomplish.”

“Toushé little girl….”

“Have you figured out the antipodal advantages yet?” She asked. Juliet surprised me more and more.

“We haven’t been doing nothing, Queen Farrow.” The two men smiled at each other. That gave her and me the creeps. Those two together were trouble.

She stood and cleared her throat… “It’s Queen Ahmed for you two.”

Ahasuerus gave a burst of laughter. “Okay, well, I just wanted to see if I should come and give you both these human blood packs.”

Rodrigo stood up and held out his hand… She pouted her lips in a disapproving line… “We all have our antidepressants. Enjoy fella’s.” She dropped a cooler bag into the basket that Caleb and I had made so we could pulley things in for the two men. “Maybe I will ask the humans to pay in blood for teleporters… And sell this stuff to the highest bidder.”

“Come, son… we gotta go. I’m done here… Just one last thing I got to do….”

“What’s that?”

“Your father…”

I had to pause for a moment, swallowing hard. I had been thinking about my date with her. But it was on Earth… Not in that place… I was suddenly nervous. Should I take her to the bar? I laughed at myself… But I was out of there and through the river before they even came to the city border.

***

“Caleb, where do you guys clean up?” The side of my mouth quirked up. Seems like I was getting lucky.

He led her to the river. It was where it flowed the hardest. We were only allowed to bathe every once in a while.

“So, how do I do this?” They stood at the edge of the water.

“What do you mean. You take your clothes off and get in the water.” Her eyes slowly met his. I wondered if it was wrong watching my wife take a bath in a river… I leaned back against a wall.

“In front of everyone?” It was rather busy. Riphath children were swimming. Some washed furs and clothes… Some were bathing. The drinking well sat way upriver at the other edge of the city… where the spring was.

She hesitated. For all the skimpy dresses that Juliet had worn. The tank tops where her breasts were exposed… She had a problem with a nudist beach…

She was biting the inside of her mouth, and Caleb leaned over and whispered something into her ear. She nodded, and he helped her with the suit. Juliet pulled it over her shoulders and dropped it at her feet. All she had on was boy shorts underwear, and a sports bra. I stood away from the wall… mesmerized, until she went for the rim of her bra with both hands crossed and wanted to pull it off.

I teleported and caught her around the waist. Got us out of there to higher up the river. She held onto me like she always did, and I took her into the water. We stood there. The water lapped over our shoulders. I wanted to pull off her bra, and she lifted her hands in the air, watching me. She let go of my waist and drifted in the water. I pulled her closer and took off her underwear as well.

I didn’t particularly appreciate being fully clothed. Juliet let go and wet her hair in front of me, coming up out of the water. Her eyes rested on mine with a smile on her mouth. Neither of us said anything. She laughed lightly… Juliet was happy.

I heard my father's voice behind us. She ducked into the water, and I took hold of her, covering her. “Get out of there, Chris… Fun time is over.”

I wasn’t moving. Juliet wasn’t moving. She had wrapped herself around me again. I sighed and kissed her on her head, resting on my shoulder. “Never let go… Not again.” I whispered, and she clutched me as I made my way out with her clinging onto me. I thought about having a word with Silvanus about where his loyalties lay. I shooed Ira away. There really weren’t any towels for Juliet to dry off with. I glanced over my shoulder and around to make sure the coast was clear. “He’s gone… You’ll have to get dressed wet. Or else we will be standing here for a long time.”

She let her legs fall off me. My arms wrapped around her body, and hers clung to my neck. After some time, Caleb cleared his throat behind us.

“Your suit and your pack are here. Ira is waiting. I’ll be there.” Caleb left again.

She hadn’t said one word to me. They had been there for so long, and we hadn’t even… talked. I didn’t want to push her. I didn’t really care about Ira. We usually bridged that gap with fighting. I didn’t think we would ever fight again. Juliet slowly ran her cheek over mine, and every muscle in my body stiffened. She was going to kiss me. Her lips locked with mine. She was naked, and my hands wanted to roam, but I couldn’t. All I could do was push my hand up her wet back and pull her closer. It wasn’t a very sensual kiss. No tongue. She lifted away from me. “I’m sorry it took me so long.” She whispered.

I kissed her properly. She jumped back onto my hips. I didn’t care, running my hands over her ass, holding her up.

She jumped off and pulled away. I reached out to check her bandage. It was made from weird waterproof skin the Riphaths had to treat and soak in different things for a long time. “You okay?” It was only for compression but served the purpose. Juliet glanced down as if she had forgotten she almost died. She reached into her pack and put on clean underwear. I shook out the suit that was full of sand by that time and handed it to her. Her eyes met mine as she was busy. I watched her and smiled.

“I want to take you on a date.” I held out my hand to her. I took her pack and flung it over my shoulder. “I want to come home, Juliet.”

She stopped and turned to me. “You do?” Her voice was almost desperate. She pulled me in and hugged me, her breathing labored. “I didn’t know what to expect.” I kissed her again.

We walked hand in hand to my father’s house. Ira was waiting on the porch. We weren’t even at the two steps that led up. “She has to go until we can arrange the meeting with the elders.”

“No Ira… She’s not going.”

Juliet squeezed my hand and turned to me. “No, Juliet, you are not going.”

“I already talked to Beatrice… She had a lot to say… Just give us a few days, Chris.” Ira said.

I turned to him. “You have to understand that your next move will determine the rest of your life. The rest of my life, Caleb and Sammy’s. It will determine if you will ever see me again…” Ira’s head was slumped over his knees, elbows resting on his thighs.

Caleb was standing at the door.

“But we have till the morning, don’t we,” Juliet said. “Come on, let’s go on our date.” Ira wanted to protest, but Juliet dragged me away.

“Caleb, will you let Louis know to come for me in an hour.” Her eyes met mine… “Five hours enough?” I pulled her in under my shoulder and tried to give her my saucy smile. “And look after your sister.” She told Caleb.

Caleb lifted his hand and waved. Sammy was inside playing with Silvanus. With Caleb knowing everything… Ira was going to have a harder time fighting the inevitable.

We walked to Jamal’s place. Juliet ran up the stairs and through the tiny house. I could hear her falling down on Michael. He was grunting and groaning. She kissed him and told him to be ready to go home in five hours. That we were going somewhere… She whispered something, and they kissed again.

It was weird hearing it. I didn’t think I was ready to see it. I forgot how it was in France. I did have her all to myself. Michael was right. I had her the longest… I wasn’t sharing back then. Everyone had stood back so we could spend that time together. The only time was when she was at the farm, and it wasn’t at all like seeing her with someone. I took a few steps forward and came around the door frame. They weren’t at all deterred. There was no awkwardness, and Juliet even looked up at me and smiled. Her head was lying flat on his chest. She patted the bed. Used to it being more than one.

In my mind, I wavered. All my inhibitions begged me to choose any other course for my life… than giving myself to a little girl with too many lovers. She will forget about me. She will hurt me. Eventually, I would ask, and she would have to say no because Michael didn’t want to let go at that moment. Or even worse… At any moment, Louis would ask her to choose… And they would pack up and leave.

It was then that I realized she wasn’t wearing the chains. I didn’t see them in the water. I stood up straighter. Maybe her feelings had changed… Louis wasn’t the one with her… My gaze darted to her hand, and the massive diamond Louis had given her was gone. I took a few more steps and sat down next to them. Not that it changed the fact that we were four men in her life.

Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

“How far can you teleport, Chris?” Michael asked.

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my legs. “All over the planet, wherever I want. I don’t really need a destination, but I think it’s a little dangerous. I’m still working out the kinks.”

Michaels’s hands were rubbing her back. His one arm bent behind his head. He was watching me. I could feel his eyes on me… “Like I said, Chris… It’s a whole other ball game….”

“Where are the chains, Juliet?” I asked softly. I glanced back. Her whole body stiffened. She slid off Michael on the other side, her back to us.

“She hasn’t told anyone what is going on. I think the only one that knows is Louis… But seeing that the chains and ring were his… It’s probably just fair.”

I turned towards him, bending my leg underneath me. Michael turned on his side, and I frowned. Asked with my eyes what was going on… He shrugged and shook his head slightly. Juliet just sat there with her hands under her thighs. Michael tapped me on my shoulder, and I got up. “Let’s all go for a drink.”

I had thought she would want to spend every second with me… alone. That we would pick up where we left off. Michael held out a hand, and Juliet took it. Leaving the room, Jamal and Selena came out of the other bedroom and said they wanted to go with us. I felt better knowing I had someone there who knew me…

I led them to the closest bar. It was empty for that time of the day. Juliet and I had almost four hours left… Juliet seemed excited, and she and Jamal joked together. She talked to Selena a little. Michael pulled me back. “Give her another hour… Since Damian… Since everything, it takes her a while to... I don’t even know… Decompress, Louis calls it. But she eventually does… The opposite is… it’s just sex… So you could have it either way….”

My eyes darted to Juliet after hearing Damian’s name. I didn’t like the way Michael talked about her… Like it was okay that something was bothering her… Like she was still a child, he was watching on some screen. It shot up my spine… Juliet wasn’t like that.

“She is growing up fast, and I want her to feel in control as much as possible… If you think it’s difficult for you to accept the situation… It’s even more difficult for her. That’s my best guess.”

I was already irritated with Michael. How would it be at home? We walked over to the back of the place. The back wall was lined with one long bench. Juliet sat down and grabbed Selena’s wrist, pulling her down next to her. She shooed us away, and the three guys moved to the bar.

They were talking and whispering. It was the first time I had seen Selena with any other woman. Juliet’s hand was in front of her mouth, and Selena copied it to talk back. I had to chuckle. Give it to Juliet to bring out the best in another person.

We told the bartender to go and give them their drinks, and Michael walked over and placed a packet of cigarettes and a lighter on the table. She smiled up at him, and he lifted his chin at her.

It was the first time I took a good look at Michael… He was different… Older… He was always busy. Couldn’t sit still… Fun or working… He sat down next to me. Shoulders slumping. He was tired. Jamal was on his other side. Michael held out a cigarette to me… I took one, and he held the packet out to Jamal. Michael held out the lighter for us. Jamal copied me and was a natural.

“Your daughter almost ate Katty.” I chuckled. “She was impossible like that.” Michael regarded Jamal… “Come, best story about Chris… It’s been fifteen years. He had to have done something stupid.”

Jamal told him of our first night together. “You can’t get drunk? No one should tell Juliet.”

Juliet stood up at the back of the bar and loudly yelled… “I can just have two drinks… What the hell?” We laughed. The bartender was explaining, but she sat down in a huff.

Juliet was helping Selena smoke… who started coughing violently. Juliet slapped her on the back. They sat down again when Selena got the hang of it. Selena took Juliet’s hand in hers and checked out all the tattoos that covered her body… The Earthly ones, anyway… Juliet showed her the ones on her hands and on her side. Juliet had unzipped her suit and left it hanging around her waist. Seeing the two of them together… I couldn’t think that I ever thought I wanted Selena more than Juliet.

I knew I might be making a mistake, but I couldn’t take it anymore… I stood up and walked over… I grabbed her wrist and pulled her to her feet. I teleported us out of there. We ended up in a cave. The cave where we lived for so long. Where I found her journal. I had quickly… Earlier that day tried to make it a little better. Packed wood for a fire. She walked around for a bit. Saw the floor and the tarp. It would be all we had for bed.

“I know… it’s difficult, but remember what we agreed on just before I left.”

She nodded. “I have grown up, Chris… I don’t really need to hide anymore… No one has to lie anymore… I don’t want to give you the wrong impression of what you’re coming home to. It’s not the same… After what happened to Michael….” Her voice is barely a whisper. “I’m not who you fell in love with… I don’t know how to connect with you… without fighting. Or there being some issue between us that we needed to bridge… I don’t have a lot of issues anymore….”

I squeezed her arms that were in my hands. Her eyes fixed on my shirt.

“I think it’s been too long… that no one has forced you to say everything you want to say… Writing it all up in a journal is half the work… And even then, you can leave things out.”

“It’s too much Chris… It will waste all our time… If I had to start being honest.”

“You’re not a waste of time.” Her mouth pulled, and I knew that there was something…

“It’s like I’m in that car that first night you picked me up next to the highway… I don’t know what to say to you… It will take me forever to relax, and when I do, I have to leave again. Or then we’ll fight. I don’t want to fight anymore.” Her voice was breaking…

“So that’s it… You don’t want to open up before everything is settled. You don’t want to hurt me?” Her eyes came up to mine. She nodded. “You’re scared.”

I put my hands on her cheeks and pulled her closer to my lips, waiting for her to come that last bit. She wanted to kiss me, but I kept her away.

“Do you still love me?” I asked.

Our eyes were locked, and we stared at each other for a long time… We both had to make the choice.

“I’m like a dog chasing a car when it comes to you… I don’t know what to do with you?”

“Hell of a car to chase… You want to move back to our town... You can go to college. I will get a position as a professor, and you can watch me... stalk me… Follow me… All you like.” She smiled, wanting to kiss me. I shook my head. “I have to tell you… I don’t really care if you tear me apart… Juliet. I had given you my heart a long time ago. I didn’t cheat on you… I can remember every detail of that night you let me have my way with you.” Her hands fisted my shirt. My eyes closed at the sensation. “Juliet, I missed you so much.”

I held her… “I have to say that Michael is making me a little scared. Saying things are all wonky. You and Louis?”

“Do you really want to talk, Chris?”

“Juliet, you have three men at home. I think you’re a little over the sex… Or what.”

She shook her head, pouting… “No one touches me unless I initiate….”

“Because there is no schedule. Well, that sucks… How does that make you feel.” She chuckled and let go of me, walking.

“You really want to know… You are probably the only one I can talk to. Are you still going to be that person for me… Because Marcus…” She chuckled and shook her head… “Doesn’t really care what I do with the others. He’s kinda… intense… The last time I had to go through this was to make peace with the fact that this was my life… I have many husbands, and I can’t do anything about it…

She was pacing. I pulled her down on the tarp. She sat with her knees up.

“Now?”

“If I’m really okay with it… I wouldn’t have any favorites… The brandings tell me it’s true love… but how does that even work… How do I factor in you and Michael?”

“Can I be honest?” I asked.

She turned to me.

“The chains did bother me.” She snorted. “But… You’re still in love with him, aren’t you?” Her hand came up to the bridge of her nose, pinching hard not to cry. “It’s too unromantic. Too much pressure and… boring… When last did you cry?”

She glanced at her shoulder… “That day and the day I had to ask Louis to let it go… He doesn’t know what’s going on.”

“You’re joking, right?” I asked.

Her eyes came up to mine.

“Doesn’t he have like five Ph. D.s in psychology?”

“Not when it comes to me. Or our relationship…. How to handle me. You figured me out in like five seconds. Am I that predictable?”

“Yeah, kinda.” She punched me on the shoulder.

“Do you have anyone you can talk to…” She shook her head. “I think Louis just goes off the rails when it comes to you… It’s funny, actually. The playing field is level, and they freak out. There should be hierarchy….”

“You want to come back and take that spot again?”

“Juliet… Louis is reading you. Or else he would have gone crazy. He probably lied to you. To get you to let your guard down.” She started laughing lightly, falling back on the tarp.

“What did you think right after telling him to let it go?”

“I thought about how to tell you all that he is my… favorite.” Her eyes watched me nervously. “And then I sniffed his shirt I had stolen from him.”

“And he came back, didn’t he.”

“OH, man… I’m so stupid.”

“And Michael?”

She shrugged. “I have no idea. He can’t talk to me at all. It’s all physical. He’s not the same... If you think we had time… There was no time. There is just a silent knowing. And he doesn’t ask anything of me.”

“So he loves you more than Louis?” Her eyes met mine again, and she nodded. “So Louis wasn’t because he loved you the most.” She shook her head. “You wanted to see what’s really going on between the two of you?”

She jumped up. “Okay! Man, am I in the Twilight Zone? Do you have mind-reading capabilities?” I pulled her down, and she fell on top of me.

“So tell me what to do? Does this change anything for you? Knowing without the chains and the ring. If Louis asked, I would actually walk away from everyone.”

“You keep saying that. But you know he won’t. That’s why you’re testing him, isn’t it… Michael really wouldn’t… He walked confidently into that mess. What did you call it… A stuff up.”

She laughed and scooted higher up on me and smiled. “Can we get it over with…”

“No!” I pushed her off and stood up. “You haven’t even told me that you still love me? Maybe you came all the way for Caleb… And to tell me it’s over.”

“If I tell you that my biggest fear is that you will die… And I would have to go through that because you don’t want to connect to me. Would that be enough?”

“So that’s the other problem… The brandings… Well, I don’t know what you know.”

“Maxxis at three and ends when I turn twenty-two. Only happens when it’s true love.”

“In a few months?” I spun around. “What? True love… Like in snow white?”

“Yeah… We were surprised, too. Marcus’s mother has an ugly scar because of Qadir. She never loved him.”

I chuckled. “So you want me to do it. Because you’re not sure you love Michael?”

“No, I do… Very much, and… There is some honor or something special about a human doing it.”

“Ohh, that hurt… You don’t want me to do it.”

“I have asked Michael. He said yes… Obviously.”

“You asked? What if we try doing it at the same time and see whose takes.”

“That would be interesting… Do you… want to take his place. That is why he came. We need to know.”

I sat down again and lay back so that our shoulders touched.

“What about Soren?”

She chuckled, and her shoulders shook. She ran her hands over her face. “The poor boy… We are only allowed to meet under supervision.” We both laughed, and I turned on my side to watch her. She turned to me and started touching me.

“Thank you.” Her hand ran through my hair.

“For what?” She asked, running her hand down my neck.

“Coming for me… We had a bet about who would get to the other first.”

“Yeah, we did. Kinda forgot about that.” She said.

“I haven’t… Had a lot of time to think.”

“Are you okay, Chris?”

“Okay, is relative.”

She sighed. “That’s true… Just like fine for a woman.”

She stopped touching me. “Do you love Selena?”

My eyes were closed while she touched me, but they opened. I knew the kind of pressure she was under. Telling people she loved with all her heart that they were not enough. That they were replaceable. That they were not the only ones in your heart. I sat up and put my legs in between my arms.

If I were to go to Earth, would Selena commit to me? Love me enough to not cheat. Would she love me enough to do anything for me… I didn’t want to brand Juliet when I had the opportunity. She asked me over and over. She just asked me again… The guys even asked me… None of it would have been a problem if I had manned up.

“Is it that bad? Should I have left you that night?”

“I don’t love her, Juliet. I once thought… maybe….”

“Just like with me, you were torn in two? Doesn’t mean you don’t?”

I was quietly contemplating her words.

“You want to stay with her and hear if she wants an open relationship?”

“It would be crazy,” I said.

“Not really. If we lived here… and we were all Riphaths. No one would have cared. Or do you want to sleep with her and get her out of your system?”

“She and Jamal are sleeping together.”

Juliet sat up and wrapped her arms around me… “Did that hurt you?”

“Mmm… Yeah. I don’t like it here. There is really no connection. She doesn’t want me… Not like that.”

“Lonely going from Sita… to us as a family in France and coming to a place where it’s just your marriage all over?”

“Yeah… It’s not like she would stay… You are the only one that wants me.”

“Chris, I need to tell you something.” I glanced back at her.

“Sita died.” My head turned to the front. “I’m sorry,” Juliet said softly.

“I heard what she did… Was it you?”

“No, I wouldn’t have… It was Louis.”

I bobbed my head. “I’m relieved… One less person out there that hates you and me… us.”

“Yeah.” She lay down on her back. I did, too. We stared at the roof. “Chris.”

“Mm.”

“I’m hungry.”

I laughed lightly, turned on my side, and leaned over her. “A date does include… dinner.”

“Yes, it does!” She got up. “Do you think we could go teleporting?”

“Dating does require… something fun.” She held out a hand to me to pull me up.

“That was really fun. I don’t think I would get used to that… We could go to the cabin whenever we wanted… It wouldn’t take us three hours anymore.”

I shook my head… “We could go anywhere….”

She wanted to kiss me, and I let her. Our lips met, and hers parted a little, tilting her head. “Chris… I love you more now…. Even if we have the most boring relationship… I will always love you. I will always want you. I will always come for you.” I kissed her back, picking her up. We headed out to go hunting. “And Chris…”

“Yeah.”

“You can’t sleep with Selena. No matter how much you want to.”

I chuckled. “ I know. I don’t want anyone else. And that’s fine, but then… No Soren… No more.”

She smiled. “Thank You. I hate making the tough decisions.”

“I know… I’m back now. I’ll take care of you.”