Ttaa 25) The devil of my dreams

The devil tried to buy my soul last night.

Well, a devil, and it was more like an offer to be my agent.

So it went like this…

I had covered a shift at my old job. It wasn’t like I needed the money, but the manager was an old friend who had hooked me up with a job when I really needed one, and kept me on the schedule even with my frequent absences.

So when he needed a fill in guy badly enough to call me, and I could get free, I went in.

Also, it was a bit… Grounding. There's nothing like working an eight hour shift cleaning off dishes next to a tank of boiling water to put me back in touch with normal, everyday life.

Besides, I never know when it will be the last time I get to do it. To see some of the people I was working with forty hours a week just last year. The ones who saw a guy disappear with me. And then eat a comp meal of leftovers after the kitchen shut down while drinking a beer with the closing crew before we called it a night.

So home, a shower, clip on the essentials bag to the dog collar around my ankle, and off to dreamland.

Only to raise my head from where I was sitting in a leather chair to see a red skinned devil, complete with horns in a nice suit smirking at me from across a big fancy old fashioned desk.

First... a quick pat down found my Ready2Go bag at my side, the pockets of my typical clothes filled with the essentials, and my Mom’s graduation ring on the chain around my neck.

A soft laugh came from the other side of the desk, "You've really internalized all of that as part of your self image. Even in your dreams, you have it on you. Yet another reason for me to have an interest."

So… Horns, red skin, deep black hair, yellow eyes with split irises. All that I expected.

Even the nice suit was a bit expected, just not so low cut, or showing off so much cleavage. Right down to the top of her dark red abs.

The Devil wears Prada.

Or something like that since she was in a dark blue well cut suit, with a dark yellow shirt that went well with her eyes, and a gold necklace with a tiny jeweled cross hanging low between her…

She smirked again. "It's not that kind of dream Mr. Brenner. Although I can set it up to go that direction after we're done. I have a friend who would be more than glad to take my place, and even wear this image. Although if you do you won’t be doing much else besides sleep for the next few days, or weeks…”

So, I thought about asking what was going on. But I got the gist. Plus starting off with that as the first thing I asked seemed like it might be a little trite.

Word of the day tear off calendar. A Gift. Imogene got tired of seeing me tear off pieces of paper to use to jot down notes, and she liked learning obscure words.

She peeked ahead up to an entire week. Which I consider cheating, and I’ve called her on it a myriad of times

Jot was from last Tuesday.

What I asked was, “You seem to know who I am, what should I call you.”

It’s not polite to ask for names when meeting otherworldly entities. Having their name gives you power over them. Our names are just sounds. At least our names that we know.

Instead, she gives me something to call her, along with a genuine smile “Call me, Miz Alzeba. Or just Alzs since I would like us to be friendly.”

I gave her a nod in return, then shut up. And… we stared at each other.

If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

The first one to talk loses somehow, at least that’s what I heard. And the alarm to prepare breakfast for me and Imogene would wake up me. It was the only way to guarantee I got to see her at all on one of her busy days, and she can’t cook.

Seriously. She can twist space with someone in it, and walk across worlds. But anything beyond pouring milk into cereal and she’s hopeless. Sometimes she does the milk first.

Besides, getting up that early means I’m up early enough for my morning run when the evil day star isn’t shining yet.

Back to the starring, well, it isn't all that bad giving her a long look, even while keeping my eyes above her collar bones. As we maintain eye contact, I feel a genuine smile begin to grow on my face just before the sides of her face turn a little purple and she turns her eyes away as she clears her throat.

Was that a blush?

Bard. Called it. At least in my dreams.

“Uh, yes. So we should discuss the offer I would like to make to you.”

While she was getting around to getting to her point, I had taken to looking around her office.

Lots of polished woodwork. Shelves of books bound in various shades of dyed leather, more like a fantasy library than a legal office which would have rows of matching books.

Black curtains with a gold pattern too complex to make out with them open to show a desolate mountainous landscape with rivulets of red hot lava.

Two days from now, I peek too. But I don’t get caught.

Right. Hell. Got it. I finished up my look around as she finished her sentence. “Can’t wait to hear it.”

She interlocked her fingers together as she set her hands on the desk in front of her, "As you have noted in your blog, and yes we have WiFi out here, you have noticed how many more of your people have been, and still are, being taken from your world after death. And I am sure you have considered that you yourself might be taken at some point after your death.”

I gave her a cautious, “Yeah...”

She grinned at me. “Which is of course a possibility, that is why I’m hoping you’ll agree to let me serve as your agent. To get you the best deal I can for you in reimbursement for your services.”

What now?

Miz Alzeba must have seen the doubtful look on my face because she held up both of her hands. “Let me explain. Before you refuse, and I swear you can refuse. This is not one of those offers.”

I slowly nodded. “Go on, but the decor is a little… Cliche.”

From two weeks ago.

She stood up and came around her desk to sit on the corner with her legs crossed. I didn’t look, wanting to keep my eyes on her face for any tells, but it didn’t sound like she had hooves.

"So here is the deal, waiting around for the just the right soul to fit their needs is too much of a time investment for most Powers. And causing the right person to die was an issue before, and now would anger some of your people with powers or their own in those areas. Reaching out from one world to the next can make someone vulnerable, thus this meeting in a shared dreamscape.”

She took a moment to look around her office, and I checked.

Shiny Black pumps with yellow heels, and a gold bracelet around her right ankle. Kind of cute.

“What does this represent to you, are you seeing me as a scholar? One that lives near a volcano?”

She seemed serious like she was genuinely interested.

“An evil supernatural creature who tempts people into selling their souls into eternal torment in exchange for a wish. The type that typically twists wishes into a curse."

“Also dressed up like a lawyer, which is something similar."

Her face went to a paler shade of red, then a light shade of… violet. Something kind of between red and purple.

Rurple? Rurple sounds like a good word.

"I…" She fumed. "I trusted someone I should have known better than to trust. I am here to make a deal for where your soul goes, but it's a mutually beneficial deal. And sending you to a place of torment would ruin my reputation, something I place a high value on.”

I shrugged. “If it helps you're appearing as a very nicely dressed, and attractive supernatural entity.”

That got her going a bit purple again before she retreated behind her desk.

So the deal was, instead of coming around to Earth and hoping someone suitable died while they were looking, they instead had independent brokers who snuck up and gathered up the dead in big bunches, and either sold them off as individuals to interested parties or in mass lots to all get brought to life as a group.

Kind of like some animals like bears give birth to just one or two young and take care of them, while other animals like sea turtles just give birth to a whole bunch of eggs at the same time and hope the best, or luckiest, ones survive.

However, agents like Adzs, get to make sure their clients don't get snatched up, and make them part of the negotiation with the Powers that want them. In exchange for a payoff from the Power.

She explained. “Making sure it’s a good deal for you means I get a good reputation. And your world is a new market. The last thing I want is for you to make it back to your world and tell people not to work with me. On the other hand, if I set you up with something nice and you come back… Well, you are something of a celebrity.”

I told her I had to think about it and talk to some people. Like brother Jude and Sojourner Stevens. You know, the experts. But I did plan on talking to her again.

Better the devil you know?

While I passed on meeting her friend, I did take a card from her that I could tear in half before going to sleep when I was ready to talk to her again.

The card was on the mattress in front of my face when I woke up, so it was not just a dream.

But if you find yourself being offered the chance to get a cheat power and be reborn on some world with magic and dragons by a goddess bathed in holy light, maybe ask how she got a hold of you before you agree to anything.

Who knows, you might be able to get a better deal.

Maybe, two cheat powers?

Also, just before I left, she looked off to the side and said. "What you look like to me is pretty nice too."

Addendum:

So Prada turns out to shoes, handbags, and stuff like that. Nice looking stuff, mostly black from what I saw. So her shoes might have been Prada.

After Imogene read this she made me look at a bunch of color charts.

Concern about my immortal soul, nope. Getting all upset about my ignorance about colors...

Apparently, colors are a big thing for her father's race, even the guys.

Skin, Cinnamon. Blush, Rose red. Suit, Cornflower. Shirt, Buttercup. Or at least that’s what I told her after doing a good impression of carefully thinking about it as I pretended to look at the color charts.

Weird little hobbit girl.