20) All’s Fair

I received an offer, to train in the sword, and all I had to do was go to the Otherworld Fair.

My reply was that I think I would be better off learning how to use a spear and a knife, but I was told it would be a pretty comprehensive training.

The Otherworld fair was a Renaissance fair on the weekends in the summer, but the rest of the time it was handed over to some people who felt like getting together in a place that, while it didn't look authentic, at least didn’t look like part of the modern world.

And it had running water, regularly cleaned Porta Johns, and plenty of parking.

It sounded like it could be a trap, but Imogene told me that she had been there a few times, for inspections, and could drop me off. She even offered to set up a permanent Shortcut if I did take up the offer.

So I went.

A couple of security guards who gave me the same sense of dislike I had gotten from the White Tree people and Neal with his amulet on stopped me from the outside gate, but one of them recognized my sister and waved us past.

Inside was what Imogene called "The Goblin Market, all though King Ernie and his people had never been there. But there are plenty of people from other worlds who can make things. Things other people from other worlds need. As long as they only sell those things to each other, the Taskforce doesn't see a reason to pick a fight with people tough enough to have killed an evil god on some other world.”

She frowned. “Although people higher up are starting to put pressure on my employers, they want something done so they can say they got something done. They don’t seem to care if it’s something good or bad.”

I gave her a sad smile. "Yeah sis, that's how things work. I'm pretty sure it's not just this country, or this world that works like that."

She seemed unhappy, but wisdom comes at the cost of happiness.

Since I didn’t have an appointment, we wandered around the market for a while. There was a forge with a big gal with green skin banging away at what looked like it was going to be an axe, some short guys openly selling guns with glowing engravings on them, and even an entirely normal looking older man with a booth filled with baskets of what could have been either fruit or vegetables I had never seen before.

Labeled at pretty good prices for fresh produce.

I pointed at what looked like a pink and orange apple. “Is that safe for us locals to eat?"

He grinned and waved at the booth. “Everything is, and it’s all grown local, but the tastes of some of it may surprise you.”

I got a bag filled with a little bit of everything and took pictures of labels so I knew what they were called. A few things he said I should save the seeds for if I wanted to try growing them on my own.

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Not my thing, but Imogene asked some questions about growing seasons, and how much sunlight they would need.

Guess we’re putting in a garden.

And I guess she didn’t get to go shopping when she was here on official business, as she took me all around the place, picking up what she claimed to be crafting materials, some books she liked the look of written in lettering like nothing I had seen before and trying on dresses.

“How does it look on me?”

I looked a the gauzy dress gathered up up under her chest and then poofing out that made her look like a shuttlecock. “Do you want me to be honest, or nice?”

She frowned at me, sighed, and muttered something about "Boys." before changing back into her regular jeans, hoodie, and mom's old leather coat.

The staff leaned to the side and jerked up and down. I think it was snickering.

She got back at me of course, and she made me carry all of her stuff until we got to the jousting grounds where a few dozen people of various races were sparring, and she put everything in her ring.

Mom's wedding ring. A diamond was the best stone she could find on our world for enchantment, but she asked my permission to use it and to resize it.

“Yeah, Mom would have loved that you had it.” It wasn’t like I would ever use it.

As the last of her bags vanished in a swirl of white light in between me and her upheld hand, I gave her a look promising vengeance.

Then I was off to meet my new trainer.

Robert had taught me a lot, he had even worked on putting some moves together that worked best for me rather than shoehorning me into a traditional martial art. He had also taught me some bayonet techniques that he had found out were based on old time spear fighting and some moves with a knife.

I had a lot more he could teach me, but he had told me I had reached the limits of what he knew about fighting with a weapon, and that he had other students to focus on.

Showing up to training from then on would be more about practicing than training, and after knocking me around the gym and wiping away the blood from his nose, he told me I had graduated.

It took about two weeks for the bruises he left to heal up completely.

Now I had an invite to train with a sword master named Glenn, who to all appearances was a young woman, and had been so ever since she had been taken to another world and restored to her youth, health, and the gender she had always wanted to be.

“I had been in a car accident when I was a teen, drunk driver at the wheel, and I took the offer to go be a hero when I got promised the healthy body I would need. When I mentioned that the body I really needed would have to be female, the goddess said it was the reason she had come to me. To correct my flesh to what my soul had always been.”

The short blonde woman shrugged. “Still having problems getting my identity confirmed thought, even with my prints in the system. Those didn’t change.”

She had done IT for the government. Had. It turns out that going missing for several months on another world and then coming back younger, walking, and female can cost you your security clearance.

After we introduced each other she explained why she had made the offer to train me. “I don’t think your sister understands that you being able to see her do magic is not normal. You have to be magically sensitive to magic to see it. It must be something everyone from her world can do, but for boring old humanity, it’s unusual.”

She grimaced. “And makes it very probable that you will get snatched at some point, you’re too good of a candidate, and I owe the people who trained me to pass on their work. So, you in?”

Over the next few hours, I learned I can't swing at things worth a dam. Not with just the one hand anyways. Which means I suck with swords, I can stab alright, but swinging with any strength or speed is right out.

She rolled her eyes at me after most of an hour, “Okay, we’ll switch to knives, then I’ll have Rogie work on you with spears and staff work. At least you won’t have to figure out how to carry a sword around.”

Well, it would be pretty easy with the storage ring, but it wouldn’t help me much if I ended up somewhere that kind of magic didn’t work.

And yep, I'm good with a spear. I just need to add a spearhead to the Ready2Go bag and I can put it on the end of a stick anywhere.

Addendum:

So one thing I learned from my camping trip, was to get a smaller Oh Shit bag that I can actually carry around, and then an aluminum frame Oh Shit backpack for the rest of it. The pack is even more awkward to get in and out of a trunk. But it means I can take everything I manage to bring with me to another world, along with me as I head out from wherever I arrive at.

I also tattled on the existence of the Otherworld fair to King Ernie who worked out a deal with Imogene for a Shortcut there. The Goblin Market now has goblins.