Hello, my name is Richard. Last name I don’t know. I have been nothing more than Richard, or Dick for short, as far back as I can remember; and trust me I remember a lot. I can’t tell you much about my birth or origin. Aah hell, who am I kidding not many could tell you that. Well, my friend, Jesus can but hey everyone knows this except for Jews.  They just say he was the son of a carpenter named Joseph and some women who may or may not be a descendant of Solomon. Hey, who cares, the dude is awesome and trust me when I say he can keep a long life going with a blast.