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Thera of Rose Manor
Chapter 23: The Tsukkomi Duo

Chapter 23: The Tsukkomi Duo

Merry Christmas, folks! The second chapter should be up later on today...after I've finished error-checking it. But for now, enjoy~.

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Barley took out a letter from his father and handed it to Uncle Robert.

“Father needs his yearly supply of hoes. It’s almost planting season again, and he swears that the ground literally grows rocks, it’s that stubborn every year.

Also, since I’ve always been good at figuring, he wanted me to attend school here, and probably asked you to help me find a cheap place to stay. I’ve already got a job at the general store lined up for me. They told me to come in tomorrow and they’ll show me the ropes.”

Uncle Robert nodded as he perused the short letter. Father had never really been that good at writing, so many of the words were misspelled. But, it was exactly as Barley had said.

He laughed. “I see. So your father is still sore about that swindle that merchant pulled on him, is he? Ha ha! Of course, I’ll help! What kind of uncle would I be if I could not help my own nephew? No need to go find a place somewhere else, though. You can take the guest room at my place, if you buy your own food. This’ll help you save up some money for when you’ll need a horse.”

Barley’s eyes opened wide in surprise. “You mean it, Uncle?”

He waved his hand.“No worries. Is that not what a guest room is meant for? If you didn’t use it, it would simply end up collecting dust to no end. Might as well put it to some good use, especially when we’re only a few streets away from the school you’ll be attending.”

Barley’s former self, Keith, was surprised at such generosity. But, he was also pleased by it.

"Then, it looks like I'll be in your care. Thanks, uncle!" 

Barley and Roger shook hands on it to seal the deal.

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That week, he completed all the paperwork necessary for admission for the new term, and handed over the tuition money his father had given him.

He also spent his hours getting used to his job as a clerk: Finding things in the catalog, writing things down, restocking shelves, adding up prices, and locating items for the customers in the store.

The first day of school, however, was quite different from what he expected.

“Hey, aren’t you that young man who helped me a week ago? Barley, right?”

Enter, the badly disguised prince, stage left. Barley thought as he turned around. The prince was dressed in the school uniform, which did nothing to tone down his princely aura.

 I mean, come on! Nobody who’s a commoner stands straight! He should at least learn how to slouch a bit. 

Barley criticized. But, points for trying, I suppose. He can’t help who he is, any more than I can reverse the sun and moon. With that, Barley decided to play along.

“Yeah! Your name’s…John, right?” He replied.

“That’s right! I had no idea that you’d be coming to school here, too! What great luck! I’m hoping to become a great merchant in the future. What do you hope to become?” He asked.

Barley shrugged his shoulders. “I’m here because my father wanted me to go to school. But, perhaps one day, I’ll become a great captain, or an admiral of the seas!”

“Nah, you should work towards being the pirate king.” John snickered. “You’re too handsome to be a mere admiral.”

Barley laughed. “Speak for yourself! Besides, Monkey D. Luffy is the only one who’s going to be Pirate King. I have been rooting for him for years.”

“Monkey D. Luffy? I have never heard of that one before. I’ll make a note of it. I would not want to get on the future pirate king’s bad side for not even knowing his name.” John frowned seriously.

Suddenly Barley realized. Ahh! Noo! All the mangas and comics that I’ll never be able to finish! Curse you, sicko guy! Darn it!

“Um…why are you crying while swirling your finger in the dust?” John asked. “Are you okay?”

Barley quickly straightened up. “Yes, I’m fine! I just realized that….I left my lunch at home. Now what will I eat!?”

Actually, he had brought money along with him to buy his own lunch, but the clueless prince would probably think he was mental if Barley told him the real reason.

The prince laughed. “Just that? Don’t worry about it, my friend. As thanks for helping me out, how could I not even treat you to a single meal?” His whole attitude exuded a princely attitude. He even had a fan to complete the image.

“Ah, my Prince! You are so kind~! The flowers bow their heads in unworthiness at your virtue~!” He joked reaching his arms out, as if he were welcoming the sun.

“Hu hu! Praise me more-I mean, is that what you expected me to say?!  Your Uncle is a prince!”

He threw a tsukommi, and his fan at Barley, hitting him square in the forehead.

“Ouch! Meaning no disrespect, but I am afraid you are mistaken. My uncle is a blacksmith~.” Barley returned, along with the fan.

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

“What? Really? URGH! I don’t know anymore! How can you throw so hard!” Prince John placed his head in his hands. The fan had hit him in the center of the forehead as well.

“If one is willing to give something away, be it a present or a punch, he must be willing to receive the same in return.”

Barley quoted a line from some obscure manga that he had read. He didn’t remember much else about it, but that line had really struck a chord in him.

Prince John clapped his hands in applause. “Oh! Impressive! I’ve never heard of that philosopher before. Is it Rembrauch? Or Trebes? Perhaps Chaunenbraums?”

Barley’s mouth twitched, and a vein stood out on his forehead. How many obscure philosophers do you think us poor commoners can get our hands on! This boke prince!

As he was about to reply, the school bell rang, warning students that classes were about to start. Barley and John hurried away to the classrooms, so that they wouldn’t be late.

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A few weeks later, in class, the teacher was returning the math homework to their students. Barley looked at his page. It seems he had gotten full marks.

Of course I’d get full marks! The homework that they give is so easy, compared to the complicated business math I was doing, back in the day. He smiled, and looked over at John, who was also grinning.

“You look full of yourself. What grade did you get?” He asked.

“Haha~I got full marks, as expected!” He said, waving his paper around.

A red mark on the page caught Barley’s eye. He snatched it out of John’s hand.

“Huhuu~ are you gazing in wonder at my genius?” John asked.

“I’m gazing in wonder, all right!” He turned the paper around and shoved it into John’s face.

“Do you see that big red zero at the top of the page?” Barley asked.

“Yes. What of it?” John replied.

“Do you know what it means?” (Barley)

“That I got nothing wrong?” (John)

Barley could only bark out a hollow laugh.

“This school grades on a point scale. Here, zero means that you got NOTHING right!” He explained.

“NO WAY!!” John’s shocked face looked like that person in Munich’s painting, the scream. “Then all the homework I’ve gotten since the beginning of the term…I’ve gotten everything wrong?!”

Barley’s expression grew sharp. “Where are your papers?”

“In the desk.” John weakly replied. Barley opened the desk, where page upon page of sheets were gathered with a big red zero at the top of each of them.

Then he noticed one sheet towards the bottom of the stack that had the number five at the top.

Checking the paper, it was the easy question: 2+2=4.

Well, at least he knows that much. Barley thought. With a solemn expression on his face, he looked at John.

“John.” (Barley)

“W-what?” (John)

“Do you know what the most important thing a merchant needs to be able to become a great merchant?” (Barley)

“What is it? Tell me!” (John)

“…the most important thing a merchant needs, aside from being opportunistic and vague in speech, is the ability to balance their books. In other words, a merchant, in order to be a great merchant, needs to know his basic math.”

“…no way.” John looked like he wished he could shrivel up and die.

“What in the blazes were you doing when your math tutor was giving you your lessons!” Barley asked, growing angry.

“Studying, of course!” John replied, confidently.

“That’s a bunch of bull! Studying WHAT, precisely?!” Barley fumed.

“Studying the art of running away and hiding! My math tutor was scary….as a matter of fact, you’re beginning to look like my math tutor.” John said, backing away.

Barley smiled. It seems that only now do I understand that there’s a reason why the oni mask is smiling. 

(see picture>>> https://www.pinterest.com/pin/453596993690870201/)

Then he put his hand on John’s shoulder.

“EXTRA STUDY SESSIONS BEGIN NOW.” (Barley)

John swallowed, hard. It seemed that his carefree days had ended.