I feel him.

Tearing away at my mind.

Now that I’m aware of his presence, the sharp headaches and the sound of scratching in my ears is so clear.

Was this always a thing and I just ignored it?

What was so bad that I allowed this to happen to me? I have never been so angry nor have I been the one to let something as small as another, more popular kid, get to me. It was so easy to just give into it all that I didn’t think twice. I figured I had the power to do what I want. Why should I let some punk tell me now? Jenny was mine and I knew I could have her.

But when she told me no, I guess…I don’t know.

I guess that’s when it all went wrong.

Now look at me.

I’m stuck.

Benched.

Until I can figure out how to control, whatever this is, lurking inside my head.

I’ve been here with Arayan for what seemed like hours now. I will admit that my anxiety and aggression was as bad as it was before.

That was good.

It meant that this Kun’Ra was working as it should.

I breathed in deep.

Held it.

Then exhaled.

I let my energy do all the work. Everytime I inhaled, I felt everything gather inside of me. My energy was calming and relaxed. When I exhaled, everything from my anger to impatience seemed to just melt away. With each passing breath, my mind drifted further and further away from Riley and soon that scratching seering my brain sounded like a far off echo.

“We have nearly completed your first round of Kun-ra,” said Arayan. I was so deep in my meditation that even he sounded like a disembodied voice. “We are now moving onto the next Kios.”

We had traveled up my spin and had done five orbs of energy so far, each ranging in colors and having different effects on not only my psyche but my spiritual energy. I felt each of them doing what they were intended to do. Sequestering my Ki and settling it to restore the internal balance I had forgotten about.

“We move to the sixth Kios which is located on the forehead. This Kios acts as your third eye and is probably the most important in this particular scenario.”

Arayan had been guiding me through each of my Kios and what they actually meant in the grand scheme of things.

The first Kios was the Root which was colored red. Its name was Mulhad’ra and it was intended to root its user to the Earth. To ground them and have them realize their mortality. This was the basic Kio for understanding how we survive as humans and the necessities needed to live.

Eating

Sleeping

Breathing

Focusing on this Kios reminded me of my humanity. This locked out Riley’s influence by keeping me connected to my humanity and reminding myself that I am who I am. This was basic and was essential in going forward with Kun’ra.

The next Kios was Sacral and its name was the Sandish’na. This was located just below my navel and was colored orange. Like the Root, this expanded on what it meant to be human. Things that excited me from day to day that replaced all of my negative emotions with positive ones.

Things that I lived for.

Things that I was passionate about.

My family

My Friends

Comics

Being a Xenton.

This was important to me because this was how I accessed my power. This was my drive and it allowed me to trust my instincts in times when I wasn’t sure. Now, considering everything that happened, my instincts were clouded because they weren’t my own anymore. They were now being shared with Riley. Whereas I used to use my instincts to dig deep and trust myself, it was now his instincts that I was tapping into, not mine. I needed to rediscover my drive, and tapping into this Kios was the next step in doing just that.

The Man’pra, or the Solar Plexus, was where all courage and strength came from, and it was colored yellow to symbolize those traits. From the last two Kios that grounded me and allowed me to rediscover who I was, this one fortified my status as a Xenton. It was one thing to wear the armor, it was another to act bravely in it.

Riley wasn’t something that was pleasant to look at. Seeing what I could become; what I became, scared me beyond anything I had ever seen.

To be able to stand up to him, and lock him out, I needed to gain the courage necessary to not only suppress him, but to face him. I couldn’t fight something that caused me so much fear. Regaining my courage was essential if I was going to beat him and mastering this Kios was another fortification I needed to lock him down.

The An’ha, or lack thereof in my opinion, was probably why all of this happened. This symbolized the Heart and its green color symbolizes my connections to others.

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I lacked this.

The last few weeks I had isolated myself from everyone. Lashed out irrationally and pridefully withheld my true feelings from everyone. From not apologizing to Jenny, to having an uncontrollable urge to deck Bluestone – er Avion, I guess, in the jaw. It was this lack of connection that I probably caused Riley to manifest quicker than usual, according to Arayan.

Compassion

Empathy

Love

Kindness

All of it hindered by my arrogance.

By concentrating on this Kios I was able to realize that this was yet another crucial step in containing this dark version of myself. Fortifying my heart, and strengthening my relationship with everyone in my life would probably be the most powerful cage I could lock Riley away in.

Words are powerful. When spoken with intent they are able to manifest, regardless of being good or bad. I didn’t know this. The Vish’ua was the next Kios that symbolized the Throat. The sky blue aura was the very breath of life. When words are spoken, they bring with them powerful energy and this energy has the power to fortify, or disrupt, the Ki of any living being in existence.

That’s extremely powerful.

The things I said to her.

The way I said it.

No wonder she didn’t want to be around me.

I wouldn’t be around myself either.

If only I had apologized, maybe that would’ve been enough to stop Riley from growing more powerful.

How would I make it up to her?

How would I make it up to myself?

Riley even used his words to disrupt my Ki and in turn that acted negatively upon me.

He was the devil on my shoulder.

The snake whispering in my ear.

And like an idiot I let it control me.

Well, two can play at that game. Even now, I can hear faint whispers of his influence tugging on my mind. I ignore him with every ounce of willpower I have left.

I must.

“The Anja is where you must focus your attention the most. This controls your thoughts which in turn controls your mind. Mastering this Kios will bind Riley from influencing your mind.”

I see it there on my forehead.

My Third Eye.

It’s blue and with each breath I take I see it pulsating, growing brighter and dimming as I exhale. The mind is powerful, like words, it has the power to give action to thoughts. Everything you know, it is the result of a thought and the actions taken as a result of that thought.

Thoughts have no prejudice though.

Good things can come from them.

Evil things can come from them.

It only took a thought to begin the creation of Riley and I remember when that inkling started.

It was just after Jenny stormed off the first time we saw Avion. I looked over and saw him flirting with other girls and it was like an explosion of rage had gone off inside my head. I felt it engulf everything about and it was at that very instant in time that I had felt the one thing that would begin my descent into madness.

Hatred.

And all it took was a single impure thought.

I guess this would explain why none of my brothers are having any issues with any dark alter egos.

Yeah, they probably get annoyed, frustrated and irritated, but none of that comes remotely close to that raw, pure hatred.

Corrine would understand. Hearing her story of how she let Griflore in.

That hatred.

I know it well now.

I now understand how she must’ve felt after all those years being treated like trash. Inviting Griflore in, at the time, seemed right. It probably felt logical to her considering how much she hated everyone and everything.

I get it.

It was now time to put all that behind me. I needed to correct myself, and control my thoughts.

Riley was presently aware of this.

After using the other Kios to strip him away of all of his power, this was the last part to make him fully incapable of controlling me. I could hear echoes of him in agony. The last and final means of control he had over me were now diminishing.

“Be sure that your thoughts are well guarded. Protecting and keeping them pure will be essential going forward. Just one negative thought will be enough to weaken your control, and strengthen his.”

I heard Arayan.

Controlling my thoughts otherwise the floodgate will open?

I’m not sure how I was going to maintain that level of mental stability, but I needed to try.

“We are now at the last Kios.” I inhaled as I listened to his instruction. “The Sahas’Ra. This final Kios connects you to all life. It helps you to realize your place in this universe and as a result, will trap Riley indefinitely within a prison inside of your mind.” I exhaled calmly. “Let the cosmic energy flow into the Crown of your head.”

I see the purple orb there but it’s not internal like the rest. This one was sitting on top of my head like a magical ball of violet energy. The rest of my Kios stopped pulsating and all together they started to glow with immense vitality. I felt the surge of life shiver through every nerve of my body until they reached the Sahas’Ra where all of their energies combined.

The final Kios lost its purple glow and in return the orb gave off a bright, white light that sat above me as though all of my misdeeds were forgiven.

I felt it.

I had done it.

I didn’t feel this unending urge to be angry anymore. I felt like my old self again but I was more aware of my mind, my spirit and most of all, my body. Everything was in complete harmony with one another.

A balance that I don’t remember having before.

“Now, open your eyes.”

I did what I was told and everything around me seemed new. The Sanctuary seemed brighter even though the night sky was pitch black.

“How do you feel?” I looked at Arayan.

Internally, I was calm.

Mentally, I was fortified.

Spiritually, I was balanced.

“I’m…content.” I replied

I was more than content. I was aware.

“That is good. I believe the Kun’ra has done its job. But you must remain in balance at all times even in battle. Otherwise —”

“I know,” I said patiently. But could I actually make this happen? Could I fight and maintain my composure? Part of me believed that getting involved was a mistake. I was new to all of this and just one annoying thought was enough to make this all come crashing down.

Something started to roar to life out and around the Sanctuary. Arayan got to his feet and so did I. The ships began moving away.

“What’s going on?” I asked, keeping my composure in mind.

“It seems like the final attack from Coalts in now beginning.” Arayan replied. “You should go and help the others.”

I had concerns. But it was better that I didn’t put them into the forefront of my mind. Arayan looked at me as though he knew what I was thinking.

“Trust your instincts, Dye. Return to how you were before Riley, and you will be fine.”

I nod, relinquishing all doubt, and then run towards the edge of the Sanctuary, my armor spreading all over my body. I leap out and ignite my limbs, the invigorating feeling keeping my mind leveled and focused. I thrust the fire from my feet and hands as it pushes me through the sky. I follow the ships as I’m sure they’ll lead me straight to the fight.