Chapter 32: Games Day
There were a few things they learned from watching the drinking contest. The first, was that the use of your abilities was not barred, but actually expected. Scott putting Nermit up for the first trial because, in his own words, ‘he wanted to see if the guy gets more talkative while drunk,’ had actually been fortuitous.
Nermit and Gil had downed half of a bottle each and the effects of the alcohol were starting to show on each of them. Gil took the brief break in which the bartender was getting another bottle to call out to the crowd for who wanted it. What ‘it’ was became apparent as a red glow extended from Gil to the lucky winner who went from mostly sober to drunk instantly. Gil’s ruddy cheeks disappeared, an effect which was even more dramatic on the pale faced vampirate.
Taking the cue Nermit used his own ability, a golden glow of healing energy washing over his body. The latest upgrade to his Quick Heal ability added the power to fight off poisons and curses. It was intended to help Nermit fight the effects of the zombie’s Necrotic Wounds ability but worked just as well on alcohol.
The second thing they learned was that under the system alcohol came in different grades based on your Body score. The higher your Body score, the stronger graded alcohol you needed to consume to get drunk. The bartender came back with stronger stuff and Nermit was forced to cleanse his body twice before the end of the second bottle.
The third thing they learned was that watching two people have a drinking contest, and not get progressively more drunk, was a little boring. With the regular purging of the alcohol from their systems the game became something of a competition of endurance.
At the 4th bottle Nermit used his Holy Fervor ability on himself giving a 15% boost to his Body score, but it wasn’t enough to keep up. Nermit was cleansing himself more often than Gil was and the end seemed like a foregone conclusion. Nermit resigned before he was completely out of mana.
“The winner be our own Guzzlin’ Gil!” Dirty Jack announced to the roar of crowd. “Though our challenger put up a fight worthy of any pirate,” he continued to a racuous applause from the vampirates. Riley and his friends added their own voices to the cheers.
“Any sea dog worth his salt ought to know his way around a rope,” Dirty Jack pulled out two lengths of rope and presented them to the crowd. “Fastest to tie the given knot wins the round, first to 5 wins the game!”
Riley and Casey both stepped forward to do it, and after a quick discussion Scott chose his sister over Riley because ‘she asked first,’ much to Riley’s dismay. They may have played their way through some pirate games, but they didn’t love the rope like Riley did. To them it was just a tool. But Riley knew a good rope was the true 6th member of their party.
Casey’s opponent was a vampirate by the name of ‘Slim Jim,’ whose deft fingers made quick work of the knots thrown out by Dirty Jack. But Casey was better.
When Slim Jim used an ability to increase his dexterity Casey countered with her own and Riley was glad Scott had chosen his sister over him. Despite his passion for the subject, he didn’t have the tools to win.
That was twice now that Scott had chosen the best person for the challenge despite his given reasons. Even though Nermit had lost he had lasted much longer than anyone else would have. Was Scott seeing more than he let on? Was his demeanor calculated flippancy? Or had he just gotten lucky? Riley wasn’t sure.
Casey won the round for them and despite their side losing the vampirates cheered loudly for her. Slim Jim presented Casey with a prize for her victory, a rope that could tie itself into knots, given that the user knew how to tie that knot themselves.
That perked Riley up. It seemed like there would be more prizes than just completing the quest if they won.
The games passed by in a blur, a new person chosen for the vampirates side for every game. It didn’t seem to matter to them who won or lost, they were just happy to be there. Their cheer was infectious, and Riley and his friends felt themselves loosening up despite the threat of death over their heads.
Riley’s own game was an anchor haul, trying to pull up the ship’s anchor the fastest. His stats were high enough for the job, but his armor was only good for the extra weight it added giving him better leverage. He inevitably lost the round to the vampirate’s super strength skill.
Heather evened out the score by winning her game of Bones and earning herself a Lucky Coin that would flip to whatever side she chose. It’s description also mentioned that it would look like a non-magical coin to casual inspection.
Scott lost the cannon firing game. Their shots rang out over the water towards the far side of the cavern. The first few rounds looked promising, with him easily hitting the stationary and moving targets. The problem came when the targets started to move erratically. Without a pattern to follow it was only dumb luck that Scott managed to hit the single target he did. The vampirate’s tracking ability easily won them that game.
Casey had spent some time convincing Scott to give up the cannonball ability from the crossbowmen in favor of the Grasping Shot ability he had used to kill Patchy.
From what Riley could tell this was a regular occurrence for the pair. Scott choosing abilities based on how cool they were and Casey tempering his tendencies with practicality.
The next round saw Casey and Vampirate stabbing a knife between their spread fingers to the ever-increasing tempo of the Salty Sea Dog’s self-playing piano. The first half of the game was only a test of the ever-increasing speed but it eventually hit a cap. The piano started to change the tempo and the game was decided on who could adapt to the new tempo the quickest. She won the round earning herself a Blunted Knife which would turn any lethal blow to non-lethal.
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Riley was up next burying pirate treasure in a hole. He completed first but lost the round on a technicality as he didn’t paint a giant red ‘X’ over where he buried the treasure.
Riley, in his justified anger over the unspoken rule, tried to protest the decision but the vampirates treated him like he was an idiot. They began to explain to him that you had to hide your treasure with a giant red ‘X’ or you wouldn’t be able to find it again. They assured him that the ‘X’ was a secret only true pirates knew so the treasure would be safe even while marked.
Idly Riley wondered if the treasure they found on the map would also be marked with a giant red ‘X.’
With only two games left the vampirates only needed a single win to win the game. Heather and Scott were the only two who still had yet to go a second time, it was down to them to save the day.
The penultimate game was something of a pirate roast battle. Each side would take turns insulting the other to the tune of a sea shanty built for the purpose. Scott took the opportunity to put on an absolutely foul performance. The vampirate’s Silver Tongue ability couldn’t match the depths of depravity Scott was willing to go to. Which was saying something as the bar for pirates was already incredibly low.
He earned a self-playing portable piano that would play the sea shanty wherever he went. Casey immediately confiscated the item from him in the same breath that she congratulated him for the win.
There was only a single game left.
“We’ve reached the end of the Pirate Games Day!” Dirty Jack announced to raucous cheers from everyone. “And what a fine day it has been for pirating. We have ourselves a true crew of salty sea dogs what take after me own heart. No matter who wins know that both crews have shown the heart of a true pirate. But there can only be one winner, may the best crew win.”
A chant of “pi-rate” started to pick up around the tavern. Riley felt himself drawn into the energy of the crowd and chanted along with them. Dirty Jack raised his glass and the entire place erupted into a collective “arr,” that put the shiver in Riley’s timbers.
“We can end this only way one, pirate trivia!”
Heather approached the table in the center of the tavern with poise and confidence. Riley looked through the crowd to see who would step up to be her opponent. He needn’t have bothered, her opponent was already in front of her. Dirty Jack took his seat, his smile growing wide as he stared deep into her eyes.
To Heather he said, “I would have preferred to do this cap’n to cap’n, but thems the breaks.” He raised his voice for the next piece. “To ensure neutrality we’ll have a third parrty judge us, Rob, please come out.”
The side of the piano flew off and out walked a vampirate in full chrome armor. The boxy outfit looked incredibly bulky and uncomfortable to move around in. Their hands ended in two clamps instead of hands and two antennae were sticking out of the top of their head. Riley inspected the vampirate.
Rob, vAmpIre (Elite) - Level 35
Not a vampirate then, Riley corrected himself.
“Beep. I am Rob. I will be moderating this contest. Boop.” Rob said in a completely flat tone. He audibly spoke the ‘beep’ and ‘boop’ himself.
“Beep. It’s nice to meet you. Boop.” Heather said as she extended a hand for a shake. Rob took her hand in one of him clamps returning the shake.
“Bah, enough with this beep-boop nonsense. Arrre we ready to play or not?”
Rob frowned at the statement but initiated the games, turning it over for Dirty Jack to ask the first question.
“Don’t think I’ll be goin’ easy on ye just ‘cause yer a girl, girlie. I’ll ask ye one only a true pirate would know. Why do pirates wear peg legs, and not just regenerate the limb?”
Riley cocked his head to the side in confusion. Around him the room was completely silent, each of the vampirates waiting for Heather’s answer with bated breath. He met his friend’s confused eyes as well. A few of the vampirates had taken out pieces of parchment and were writing out the question for later.
“Uh, because they can’t regenerate limbs?”
After a moment’s consideration, “Beep. Correct. Boop.”
The tavern broke out into a quiet murmur. Around him Riley could make the disbelief in the vampirates around them. A few ‘ahas’ were heard as well as gold changing hands as some bets were settled.
Heather asked her question before Riley could think further on it.
“What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?”
“Thar be too easy, the answer’s ‘arrrrr.’”
“Beep. Correct. Boop.”
“Here’s another piece ‘o trivia for ye. The punishment for mutiny is to talk the plank so answer me truly, why can’t pirates swim?”
Riley once again looked at his friends in confusion. As far as he knew the only pirates who couldn’t swim were from a cautionary folk tale about the world’s greatest story that was never finished.
Heather’s eyes widened as she figured something out. “You can’t swim for 30 minutes after you eat, pirates are always eating so they don’t get scurvy.”
Riley’s heart started racing at her answer. His hand went to his sword and he prepared himself for battle. If he was fast enough he could maybe take down the two vampirates nearest him before the battle began in earnest, though he didn’t think they would last much longer than that.
Around the room the rest of the vampirates were waiting for the verdict.
“Beep. Correct. Boop.”
What? But Heather was continuing the contest without giving Riley any time to catch up. Beside him Scott was bent over laughing. Did he know something?
“Why do pirates have difficulty learning to read?”
“Yar, that be a tricky one.” Like a master showman Dirty Jack wait just long enough for his surrounding crew to lean in further. “But not tricky enough for me, it’s 'cause a pirate can spend years at Sea.”
“Beep. Correct. Boop.”
Dirty Jack bellowed out a laugh at the verdict. “I see what you’re doing and I have one to match, can one have too much vitamin C?”
“That’s not funny, scurvy kills,” she channeled all the charisma of a Ma’oi as she said this.
“Beep. Correct. Boop.”
The vampirates cried out in outrage at the decision. Various versions of “she didn’t answer!” rang out from the crowd.
Rob was quick to defend themselves from the crowd. “Beep. My contextual language algorithm says her meaning was clear. Decision stands. Boop.”
Heather was quick to fill the space left for her, shouting over the now livid crew before they could get too riled up. “Which is cooler, vampires or robots?”
“Tis not even a question, pirates of course!” Dirty Jack guffawed.
“Beep. Incorrect. Boop.”
“What?!” The outrage from around the room completely eclipsed the previous incident. Tables were flipped, cutlasses were drawn, at least one glass eye flew across the room. Scott and Casey, pulled in to either side of Riley, all three of them backing Nermit into a corner for protection.
“BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.” Rob kept repeating himself, screaming the most grating noise until the room settled down. “As the arbiter of this competition it is incumbent upon me to make all rulings. The decision stands. Boop.”