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The wish trials
Chapter 7 Edward Michael Grylls

Chapter 7 Edward Michael Grylls

Congratulations

You have leveled up! You are now level 8! You received 24 Attributes points!

Congratulations

Due to the gift of God you have received 

+3 strength

+3 dexterity 

After hurriedly eating the light fanged fish they rushed to the shore in hopes of putting distance between them and whatever made the shock wave. 

Once back on land and in the small cove where the hole was made, Fuck off leans against the wall of ice which hides the cove from the rest of the bay and starts to think.

"Red, you were right. We can't just sit idle. There are things far more powerful than we can comprehend…”(Grey) 

“Than we can...currently comprehend. The whole point of this sy...system is that we can grow...grow stronger without limitations and...and I don't want to be scared anymore.” (Green)

“Whoa, go green.” (Red)

“You’re right, and I am sorry, I shouldn't have held us back.” (Grey)

“Well with all three of on the same page there isn't anybody safe from being fisted, I mean flippered. This should be far more entertaining now.” (Red)

“Well yes but saying we are going to get stronger and actually doing it are two very different things. We should have a strict plan..” (Grey).

“No, plans don't survive contact and as much as I adore the idea of dying again, things are just starting to get interesting. We need to gain stats and try and develop skills before evolving. Once we have evolved then we will know where we stand.” (Red)

“We...we found that...combat and hu...hurting things is the best way to improve stats and pre...presumably skills. But we should also...have contingency plans in case...something strong comes into the bay.” (Green)

“Yes we should differently try and raise our stats before leveling up, maybe there is another elite title we can get.” (Grey)

“Soooooo:

Step 0- contingency plan

Step one- non-lethal combat training

Step two- stats and skills

Step three- evolve

Step four- penguin orgy massacre” (Red)

“Sure” (Grey and Green)   

“But we need to be kind to the penguins after.” (Green)           

So Fuck Off and his multiple dysfunctional [or highly functional depending on how you look at it] personalities started a new routine to become stronger and more prepared. 

Firstly when they wake up they do the original circuit as a warm-up but this time they bring along 10 level 10 emperor penguins to strengthen. Only 10 could be trained as controlling each body to do the complex movements took mental strain, these penguins would become the "elite" squad for the plan. Once the circuit was completed the emperor penguins were set to work on the contingency plan. 

The next part of the day was focused on dodging incoming attacks from multiple opponents on and in different terrain.

After dodging they would focus on improving the effectiveness and efficiency of their strikes by practicing their limited moves and attacks onto a stationary inanimate object. This is in hopes to improve muscle memory and efficient of attacks and defenses.      

Once the strikes where practiced they were put to use in fights against multiple opponents at once continually until they could barely stand.

All the while they are practicing control other animals on the penguins to bring them food from the ocean and to complete various tasks. 

This goes on for 2 weeks and leads to the following gains:

Congratulations

+9 Strength

+7 Dexterity

+14 Agility 

 +13 Stamina

+4 Defence 

+9 Attack

+4 Intelligence

Attention! You have gained the skill 'piercing beak’ level 1

Effects of 'piercing beak ’

Your beak delivers a more powerful attack against your foes at the cost of more stamina being used. 

Which is currently level 6

Attention! You have gained the skill 'Dodge’ level 1

Effects of 'Dodge’

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

By expertly moving your body and predicting your foes actions you have learned to evade their attacks.  

Which is currently level 10 

Attention! You have gained the skill 'Annoying scream’ level 1

Effects of ‘Annoying scream’

By exerting your stamina you produce an irritating sound wave. This reduces the foes cognitive ability by reducing their intelligence and wisdom by 0.5. Each level increases the reduction by 0.1   

This was discovered by Red when he engaged in a screaming match with a random penguin after finding out he had a bigger penis. This penguin no longer has a penis and Green and Grey are slightly more mentally scarred. Is now level 5.  

Attention! You have gained the skill 'Formless flipper’ level 1

Effects of 'Formless flipper’

Despite having a body not suited to combat, you have overcome this and have developed a rudimentary fighting technique. Your body moves with increased efficiency and control while in combat or practicing your techniques.      

Which is currently at level 8

“Well ladies it looks like we have done pretty well in these two weeks, but I am starting to get very bored. Hopefully, something interesting will come along soon or we should evolve, our growth is currently slower than a snail making our grandmother reach orgasm. Or if these gods could pull their finger out of their ass’s then we could complete this stupid challenge.” (Red)

“Our Gra...Grandma is dead!” (Green)

“Exactly, it's going to take forever for her to reach release.” (Red)

“Why did you mention something coming along? That's a massive flag.” (Grey)

“I am sure we will be fine and I am right like 70% of the time, so I am always right.” (Red)

“That's...not how maths works.” (Green)

“Oh no, it looks like I am failing maths professor Green. Please I can't fail again, I’ll do anything for an A *Blushes and lifts skirt*” (Red)

“Noooooo!” (Green)

*Roar!!!*

“Oh no!” (Green)

“Oh shit, I told you not to raise flags.” (Grey)

“Hahahahahaha” (Red)

**********************************************************************************************************   

The now purple eyed boy sat on solidified emotion of greed, throwing a galaxy like a frisbee for a creature that looks somewhere between the letter square and the animal green.

He was watching the entity that named its self Fuck Off and found their/its antics amusing. “Something interesting to come along? Ha! Why not?”

May as well speed up their challenge. Don't disappoint now.” The boy grins as he takes a sip of dark matter. 

Grinning he sends a pitiful creature that could destroy all the creatures in the bay in a straight fight without contest.  

“Let's see how effective your contingency plan is.”

**********************************************************************************************************

Regular POV

Fuck Off’s head snaps towards the hill they usually roll the snowball up and down, only to lay their gaze on a 2m high bleach white bear. It had the body of a large polar bear but with an enlarged snout, no eyes and enormous haphazardly pointed teeth that sparkle like diamonds.

“It looks like it has a rappers grill. Wait a minute it's a bear with a grill and the chapter is called Edward Michael Grylls. Its fucking Bear Grylls! Hahaha.” (Red)

“We don't have time for your fourth wall breaks Reds.” (Grey)            

“Your right, it's killing time. Commence operation cinnamon roll!” (Red) 

The three personalities focus on bringing their plan to fruition. Green cleared the surrounding penguins, Grey lead the 10 emperor penguins towards them and away from the action for the moment. 

Red created a line from the slope to the hole, which penguins have been mining from when they went fishing, with low-level chinstrap penguins.  

The hole is 4.5m deep and 7m in diameter, with clumps of ice along the edge with a few icicles. It was made with penguin slave labor much to Greens dismay. It was created to hold enemies, effectively starving them, before throwing in the ice clumps and finally rushing it with superior numbers before Fuck Off would finish it off. Although not the best plan it was the best they could do with nothing but ice, penguins and no hands.     

Taking the bait Bear Grylls slaughters the penguins which lead the deadly creature towards the hole, before jumping in to finish off the penguins who were forced to take mining as a profession.  

“Well it's not the most intelligent of creatures is it?” (Grey) 

“Tore through the penguins like a beast though.” (Red)

“High physical prowess but...but low intelligence. Reduces the prob...probability of some kind of magic but it will most...likely have physical skills which the hole won't be able to hold...for long.” (Green)  

*Roar* *Smash* The now crimson, with blood, beast roared before using its now glowing paw to punch a crater into the hole.  

“Hmm, prepare for operation elite ass play.” (Red)

“We need to stop letting you name the plans.” (Grey) 

The three watched the bear tear apart and eat corpses of penguins as operation elite ass play started. The horde of 100+ penguins waddle to the head of the bear and start to jump in to attack with self abandon. The 10 “elite” penguin, which have been training with Fuck Off, jumped in at the back to attack while the horde distracted and did as much damage as possible. 

Grey continuously loots the dead corpses to make room and avoid the bear from climbing up. Green controls five penguins to bring the lumps of ice which Red would pick up with his beak and throw at the bear.  

The horde is losing numbers at a high rate as they are torn apart or swatted into a crimson mist. but tens of small cuts on its face, arms and chest start to build up. The “elite” squad is causing more damage with gashes running along the bears back and sides as they use the beaks to stab and slash at the bear's flesh. The thrown ice most likely causes bruising under the fur. Slowly but surely the bear was accumulating damage and running out of stamina. 

After 10 minutes Fuck Off stopped throwing to save stamina while the penguins who brought the ammunition took up the task. 

After 15 minutes the bear's movements were noticeably sluggish due to the damage and lack of stamina but there were only 18 left of the horde and none left from the “elite” squad while the ice pile was out of ammunition. 

“Well shit. Apologies Green, send in the throwers, the rest of the horde, the remaining 3 level 10 emperor penguins and the reserves.” (Red and Grey)

“Bu...but that only leaves 20...sob...penguins in the whole bay” (Green)

“Well if it's any consolation it's 20 more then if we didn't put it in the hole.” (Grey)

“Sigh, I know. Sorry little penguins, I hope you have a good next life.” (Green) 

With that, the remaining penguins swarmed the bear as the 20 non-combatants rolled over the large snow boulder from the hill. Fuck off gathered the icicles and chucked them into the now bloody pit while saving two which it awkwardly held in folded flippers. 

All but one combatant penguin was killed which Red put in place in front of the snow boulder. 

The once sturdy hole was now a broken and battered pit due to the bear's powerful strikes. Covered in spider web cracks and large chunks of ice, in fact, the bear or a penguin for that matter could have climbed out with relative ease if they weren't so focused on producing a blood bath.                  

“It's got a big ass nose so probably lots of receptors there. That will be our first target. Next, the ears in hopes to get the brain.” (Red)

“Understood” (Green and Grey)

Once the last penguins in the pit were dead, Red controlled the last combatant to use its flippers to slap its own sides to produce a noise. This was due to not knowing how much the bear could smell with all the blood in the air. 

Hearing the noise the bear went over to the side of the pit, got on to its hind legs and open its mouth wide to bite the stupid penguin. But before it could the penguin hopped into the open mouth just before the snow boulder was shoved into its open maw. This is in hopes of suffocation and to reduce the risk of being bitten. 

Without hesitation, Fuck Off rushed on to the snow-filled mouth a stabbed one icicle at a 45-degree angle into one nostril, through the middle and out of the other nostril while the other icicle went into an ear.

Leaving his impromptu weapons in the bear he jumped on to the bears back, stabbed in his beak with ‘piercing beak’ and slid down creating a long gash down the back of the bear. 

Once on the pit floor, Red made good use of the practice as he dodged the slow but powerful swings and darted in for strikes of his own. 

At last, after another 3 minutes, the bear collapses as it struggles to move, blood pouring out of it. Fuck off then gathered the icicles he put into the pit earlier and stab them into the defeated bear one at a time before it finally died. 

“Fucking bullshit we didn't even get a proper fight.”  

“Ha! we actually did it” (Grey)

“You sound...happy Grey.”(Green)

“Its just...this shows that we can make a difference and actually grow stronger. It's a shame we had to sacrifice all thoughs penguins though, even if they were stupid.” (Grey) 

 “Of course we would get stronger. You think I would allow us to become bored? I would sooner disembowel us and use our entrails to hang us before I let that happen. I mean tehe funny sex joke.” (Red)  

“Right…Well we need to become strong enough where we don't have to sacrifice others to win.” (Grey)

“Yeah it's far more entertaining that way. Oh right and morals.” 

“Well...let's hope that this XP is wh...what we need to become stronger.”(Green)

Congratulations

Due to killing a level 18 crystal boned polar bear you have received 150XP  

Attention! Due to killing a higher evolved predator you have gained the ‘unnatural predator’ 

Effects of ‘unnatural predator’ 

* +5 Attack 

* Opens option for unique evolution (Single use on immediate evolution)

* +2 strength