After being fed by one of his parents Grey started to explain the situation to Red only to have to start again when Green returned.
“THAT GRAPE LOOKING MOTHER FUCKER MADE US INTO A FLIGHTLESS BIRD?!” (Red)
“Our name is rude? That's sad, how will introduce ourselves?”(Green)
“I AM GOING TO EAT HIS CHILDREN!.”(Red)
“Yes, I am sorry about that Green. I was very disoriented.” (Grey)
“I WILL SHOVE MY FIST SO FAR UP HIS ASS HE WILL BE COUGHING UP MY FINGERNAILS FOR A YEAR! “ (Red)
“Oh tha...that's ok Grey no need to apologize.” (Green)
“HIS SKIN WILL BE FRAYED LIKE I AM PEELING A FUCKING POTATO!” (Red)
“Thank you for understanding Green. Now we need to focus on becoming stronger and evolving. Any ideas?” (Grey)
“HIS SKIN WILL BE USED TO MAKE ME AND HAT AND COAT!”... Oh, we can evolve? Oooo This could be fun. Evolving needs XP. Xp means killing and fighting. Soooooo evolving means more killing and fighting? Fuck yes! This means I get to play with and eat corpses more hehehhahaha.” (Red)
“Yes Red. Have you finished your tantrum?”(Grey)
“Yes, my good sir.”(Red)
“Good now, ideas?”(Grey)
“We...We don't know how long the trail is, or...or even what it is so we should treat it as a real life.” (Green)
“True” (Red and Grey)
“But I also want to get stronger and fly, and I doubt a world with a system would follow the rules of our old boring world.” (Red)
“Also true. So survival and strengthening plan?” (Grey)
“Well, there are waddling bags of XP all around us. We can just kill and eat them. We would have to be hidden at first to avoid being mobbed.”(Red)
“Killing one or two of our brethren to grow stronger may be ok. But I am against going on a murder spree and eating their corpses.” (Grey)
“Oh where would be the fun in that? It could be a great game of hide and seek, cat and mouse were a trail of corpses lead to the end of the game…”(Red)
“They will not play your games Red, they and penguins, you would become bored.”(Grey)
“Oh yeah,booooooo. Well, we can still kill, eat and use them.” (Red)
“I, I don't think that eating them wou...would be a good Idea” (Green)
“Oh, and why would that be? It would be a waste of flesh to just leave them there” (Red)
“Well, cannibalism leads to the spreading of diseases. And if this is like the games and books we have seen then there is probably a title with negative repercussions.” (Green)
“Oh yeah, that would not be ideal. Well just killing it is, I doubt that has any negative repercussions in a non sentient society. We can find some hidden corner to ‘deal’ with the XP bags.” (Red)
“But we shouldn't just kill, all life is precious.” (Green)
“Oh shut the fuck up Green. Killing is a natural thing in nature. We need to eat and get stronger. That way we can have loads of fun as we fight to the death and fly.” (Red)
“Green we need to grow stronger. So we can survive, so we can fly and so we can find and be with dad again.” (Grey)
“If it's to survive and to find dad then I guess we can kill if necessary. But we shouldn't just waste life.” (Green)
“ Why the fuck not? We are proof that reincarnation is a thing. Plus it's far more fun to kill everything. Ah, Grey if you in charge of the body at least start moving around so we can at least try and raise our stamina.” (Red)
The body of Fuck Off, which currently looks like a ball of gray plumage, started to waddle around in a random direction while staying within the huddle of other penguins as the internal discussion continued. Not long after this started the wings started to flap around in seemingly chaotic motions.
“Hahaha, why do we look special needs?”(Red)
“Dexterity training.” (Grey)
“You, you shouldn't make fun the special needs like that Red”(Green)
“Bitch, have you meant us? We are the most special of all needs.”(Red)
“Before you two start a pointless debate, we need to think of a plan.”(Grey)
“Sorry”(Green)
“The plan is simple.
Step one: Mass genocide
Step two: Civilian casualties
Step three: Profit” (Red)
“What!?” (Grey)
“Get levels so we can fist...the...grape...guy...NOOOOOOO!”(Red)
“What!?” (Grey)
“WE DON'T HAVE FISTS!”
“Really, that's the problem?”(Grey)
“YES! HOW AM I MEANT TO FIST PEOPLE WITHOUT A FIST? Oh, wait winging someone sounds funny nevermind. Or would it by flippering? We shall wing/flipper the grape guy!” (Red)
The body of the Fuck Off face flippers before resuming its crazy techno dance.
The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
“Can we please get back on to topic?”(Grey)
“Hahaha.”(Red)
“Sorry” (Green)
“Don't worry little buddy you didn't do anything wrong.”(Red)
“Oh, ok” (Green)
“So first we need to get our priorities straight.” (Grey)
“Well, there appear to be many penguins in this large bay type area. That suggests that it is relatively safe. I think we should increase our stat points before we start trying to level up. This would give us an advantage in the long term as I imagine it would be harder to increase stat points when our level increases.” (Green)
“Agreed, but I think we should get out of our infant stage first. That way if needed we can defend ourselves easier.”(Grey)
“Looks like the other chinstraps are adults at level two.” (Red)
The body of Fuck Off looks around and notices that the level of its fellow chinstraps appears above their heads.
“It said we could have limited control over other animals. Why don't we lead some other infants somewhere and kill them. I doubt we will be able to kill an adult at the moment a child will be easier.” (Red)
“NO!”(Green)
“...No, they would only be level one; it would be too cruel for such a little reward.” (Grey)
“Fine, fine. Fucking killjoys. Hmmm oh.” (Red)
As Fuck Off waddles around Red notices a parent about to feed its child. The parent freeze as it is lowering its head before waddling over to Fuck Off, who’s body stops moving. The parent bends down and begins to feed Fuck Off.
“Hahaha yes, daddy put your sloppy meat into my hole!” (Red)
“Why, sob?!” (Green)
“Haha, why and how Red?”(Grey)
Congratulations
Due to receiving food from a adult at an infant stage you have received 0.50xp
“That's why. It never said it had to be our parent that deep throated us, just an adult. I just tried to control the bastard and its will snaped like a twig. It was probably so easy because I was changing the target of its parental biological programming.” (Red)
Once the adult had finished feeding Fuck Off it went back to its own child while Fuck Off began to move again.
“So we can just do that to level up?” Asked Green with hope and slight disgust in his voice.
“I assume we can do it until we are no longer an infant. So six more times. Oh, we appear to becoming tired.” (Grey)
“Keep going this is probably how we increase stamina.”(Red)
Congratulations
+1 Stamina
Congratulations
+1 Dexterity
“Yay” (Green, Grey, and Red)
Although Fuck Off has a boost from the stat gains, the feeling of fatigue reminds.
“Hmm, Grey take control of the legs and keep us moving, Green use our ability to move the others out of the way. I will work trying to flipper people.”(Red)
“Can we do that? Take control of different body parts… never mind you have already done it.”(Grey)
A sharp pain comes over Fuck Off’s brain, causing its inhabitants to cry out.
“AHHHHH! No *Sob* please”(Green)
“Ahhhhh!”(Grey)
“Yesss more hahahaha” (Red)
Attention! You have gained the Ability ‘Triple parallel conscious’
Effects of ‘Triple parallel conscious’
Due to being able to split your thought process into three different parallel conscious you have received triple intelligence, wisdom and dexterity.
With the appearance of the blue screen the pain subsided, bringing forth a feeling relief.
“Oh that's good”(Grey)
“Yay”(Green)
“Fuck yeah”(Red)
Warning!! You have come under the effects of ‘Shattered soul’
Effects of ‘shattered soul’
Your soul is shattered. Intelligence, wisdom and dexterity are halved.
“Aww” (Grey and Green)
“Ha, we are so broken.” (Red)
Despite the negative effects Fuck Offs movements become more refined as it waddles along with its waving flippers. It would run in a straight line before changing direction at random, only to start the process again. As it ran the other penguins would move out of the way without fail only to go back to what they were doing as if nothing had happened. Every half an hour or so Fuck Off would stop to receive food from a random parent, leaving hungry infants in its wake.
“Ok so, considering we are a penguin and this world follows similar rules to the books and games. When we unlock magic we will probably have an affinity to Ice, water and possibly air. I think we should aim for Ice and air. If we go off of game logic ice has the most utility, with creation, damage, slowing enemies and being able to control the terrain. Air should help us to fly and in aerial combat. Could also be configured to sound as well and possibly create vacuums for propulsion.” (Green)
“What no blood, darkness, and death? I call bullshit.” (Red)
“Agreed on both points. But if the opportunity arises we should definitely take water as well. We may be able to pressurize it into some sort of weapon.” (Grey)
“Agreed” (Red and Green)
“I have an idea on an exercise to improve our physical strength stat, but we don't know much about penguin anatomy so it might be a bust.” (Green)
“Please elaborate”(Grey)
“Well, there is a hill over there. Maybe if we made a large snowball/boulder and pushed it up?” (Green)
“Worth a shot. We should give it a go tomorrow. (Grey)
“Hey, guys! As much as I want hear Greens excuse to play with balls, This is our last deepthroat session with Daddy” (Red)
“Finally” (Grey)
“Please don't say it like that” (Green)
Congratulations
Due to receiving food from a adult at an infant stage you have received 0.50xp
Congratulations
You have leveled up into an adult chinstrap penguin! You are now level two!
Congratulations
Due to the gift of God you have received +1 Defence
The ball of gray plumage mults and grows until it reaches 68 cm in height: 68cm and 4.5 Kg in weight. Its front grew smooth snow white feathers,while the back turned black. A narrow black band under the head which connects to the blackened scalp.
“Yay” (All)
“Yay Green show us the stats we have gained since we turned them off after the shattered soul thingy wingy.” (Red)
“Ok”(Green)
Congratulations
+ 5 Agility
Congratulations
+ 4 Stamina
Congratulations
+ 1 strength
“Well, lads not bad for our first day as a penguin. But I think we need to rest, this body is about to collapse. I think we should have a look at our status before we go to sleep. Tomorrow we should try to raise the strength stat as well as the others.” (Grey)
“Fine but the next day we are going to start killing, *Cough* I mean getting more XP.” (Red)
“Sounds like a plan. I trust you already have plans, Red?” (Grey)
“Oh, you know it, baby. It's going to orgasmic hehehahaha.” (Red)
“Right, sure Red.” (Grey)
“I don't want to kill anything.” (Green)
“Don't worry buddy. It's the circle of life and we are proof reincarnation is a thing. I am sure they will go to a better place.” (Red)
“Hmmm”(Green)
“Alright let's head to sleep guys, this body can't stay up much longer.” (Grey)
“Night babycakes”(Red)
“Good night, sleep well everyone.” (Green)
“Night” (Grey)
Name
Fuck off
Species
Chinstrap penguin (attribute point per level
=3)
Titles
Second birth, Higher potential, Sentient animal, Named animal
Level
2 (0/8)
Health
12/12
Mana
0/0
Stamina
8
Defence
4
Attack
3
Strength
4
Agility
9
Dexterity
6
Intelligence
27
Wisdom
21
Luck
28
Attributes points to use
6
Known abilities
Lucky bastard, Animals are more likely to follow your instructions, Gift from god, Triple parallel conscious,
Known skills
N/A
Known spells
N/A
Status affects
Positive
Negative
Shattered soul