Keith was quiet for a long time after Jira divulged the truth to him. They sat outside the barracks, and she fought off a chill, despite the warm weather. Guilt ate away at her while she waited for Keith to respond; guilt that she couldn’t keep a secret, and guilt that she originally wasn’t going to tell Keith, especially after seeing his reaction. In a way, she felt she had let them both down.
“... Keith?” Jira finally said and he looked at her, as if remembering that she was still sitting beside him. “I would have said something sooner about how I felt something was wrong, but I…” she couldn’t finish the sentence. She had no excuse for it. “I know how much you look up to him,” she said weakly. “... I didn’t want to be right.”
Keith nodded and looked away from Jira. “I feel like this is partially my fault,” he said in a tremulous voice. “... part of the reason I left for the blade was because I knew Shiro was a better fit for the Black Lion. He always was. But he was so adamant that I stay in my place as the new head of Volton… it wasn’t until I screwed up that he was the pilot again. If I hadn’t, maybe…”
Jira watched Keith’s face contront in confusion and remorse. She could see the struggle he still faced with leaving Voltron, only to be heightened with the news of Shiro. She had never seen him look so vulnerable before, and she suspected that he didn’t allow himself to be that vulnerable around others often. Jira wanted to comfort him, but didn’t know how to best go about it. He didn’t seem like he was really one to enjoy hugs, but she couldn’t stand to do nothing.
“No one knew what was going to happen,” Jira said. She settled on resting a hand on his arm. When she did so, she felt him him go rigid and he turned his head further from her. Jira quickly retracted her hand, now regretting that she had tried to be comforting. She attempted to recover, though his reaction stung a bit. “You couldn’t control what they did to him. All we can do now is move forward with helping him.”
“So you and Allura do think there’s a way to help him?” Keith asked hopefully. He shifted his body so that she could now see his profile. His eyes were downcast, as if he were afraid to look at her.
“We think we have a shot, at least.”
Keith didn’t respond, and Jira began to think that he wanted to be left alone too. She stood and looked down at him. “I can leave you alone, if that’s what you want,” she said, trying to sound indifferent. “Again, I’m sorry about not saying something sooner.”
Jira turned to leave, grateful to get away before she could say or do anything that she might regret. She heard Keith stand up and follow her, but she didn’t really want to turn around at that point.
“Jira, wait-” he said, moving to cut her off. They stood close to each other, and Jira stepped away from him, but didn’t look away. Keith’s eyes held the same soft vulnerability that he had been trying to hide from her earlier. “I’m not mad that you didn’t say anything. I’m just… worried… and I guess I still blame myself a little bit, even though I know I shouldn’t.”
Jira swallowed a lump in her throat and fought the urge to hug him. She wanted to hold him until he no longer blamed himself… or maybe she just wanted to hold him. She couldn’t tell at this point. Taking a step closer, Jira tried to read what he wanted, though she tried not to use her ability on people often.
Keith looked at her, like he was expecting her to read him, wanting her to discern what he couldn’t say for himself. Jira tentatively brought her arms up around his neck and pulled him into a hug, having to stand on her toes. His body relaxed in her arms, but he took a moment before returning the hug. When he did, he held Jira close but gently, as if he were afraid to hold her too tight.
Jira’s heart pounded against her chest, though this time she knew it wasn’t because she was on edge. She thought about what her mom had said earlier that night and considered what Keith meant to her. They hadn’t known each other long, but they had already talked about things that she normally wouldn’t be too open about with others. They had already established an understanding and resolved conflicts to help their friendship progress. That had to account for something… Jira tried to shake the thoughts away, but she couldn’t bring herself to pull away from the embrace. She waited for Keith to decide since he had the intention to hug her, though he was too hesitant to actually go for it. Since initiating the hug, Keith had gradually tightened his grip around her, until she could feel the full pressure of his arms and hands around her waist.
Jira tried to relax and just enjoy being in the moment, taking in the faint, clean smell of the soap that each barrack shower contained. His hair brushed against her arms, and she blushed when a rogue thought of running her fingers through it popped into her head.
“Thanks for telling me,” Keith said finally, his voice soft in Jira’s ear.
“You know we’ll have to tell Allura now, right?”
Keith laughed lightly and loosened his grip around Jira, breaking their hug. “I don’t think she’ll be too mad.” His expression hardened. “I didn’t realize that she was also worried about Shiro… it makes me feel better that I wasn’t the only one. While I wish I had said something to someone else, I’m glad she talked to you… I think coming to Eioa was just what we needed.”
Jira gave him another hug, this one feeling more comfortable between them. Keith was faster to respond and Jira found herself unwilling to pull away from him. “I think Voltron and the Blade coming here was just what Eioa needed,” she said. She reluctantly pulled away but kept a hand on his arm. “Tomorrow morning we can tell her.”
Keith smiled. “Deal.”
They soon parted, Jira glancing back at him before heading into her barrack. She took a deep breath, realizing that she was starting to better understand what her mom was talking about when it came to letting someone know how you felt about them. But now she also better understood that it was something that tended to get complicated, even when it seemed so straightforward. Things may seem straightforward on the surface, but she knew herself well enough to know that she would unnecessarily complicate things. And even if she didn’t, dealing with Shiro, the Galra, and the Hauhet could just as easily complicate things for her.
****
“Well…” Allura furrowed her brow at Keith and Jira as they stood on the bridge the next morning. “Shall we go, then?” She asked them. Though Allura looked feisty and determined now, Keith could tell how relieved she was when he and Jira told her everything. She wasn’t angry with Jira, but was grateful that she wasn’t the only one concerned Shiro; thinking back on it, Keith regretted not saying anything sooner. He wondered if they could have done anything had they expressed their concerns for him before now. He had to remind himself that they couldn’t change the past, but it was painful to think that Shiro had gone all this time as a pawn of Zarkon. All they could do was move forward and look for a way to help him.
Jira gave Allura a grateful smile and nodded. Keith noticed them share a knowing look earlier, and he wondered if there was anything else that they weren’t telling him, but he felt like he had already pushed his luck with Jira last night. As they walked out of the castle and made their way to the Kafa, he fell in step behind Allura and Jira and quietly watched as they conversed.
Jira got along well with the paladins and she had earned Allura’s trust quickly. She was open with others and allowed herself to be vulnerable with people to build trust with them. She had even gotten him to open up to her after just a few days of knowing each other; a feat not easily accomplished. Keith was well aware that he tended to push people away, but just being self aware wasn’t enough to change things.
He knew he needed to be better, and he wanted to be. Being around Jira made him realize that it felt good to open up and confide in others. It gave him an odd sense of relief to do so, like he was letting go of a heavy burden that he had been carrying and trying to ignore. But even when he wasn’t confiding inJira, he still had mixed feelings when he was with her. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but she set him on edge, though not in a way that he had really experienced before. She simultaneously made him nervous, yet feel relaxed in her presence. Perhaps because they had been vulnerable with each other and he wasn’t very used to being that way with very many people.
Jira glanced back at Keith and gave him a reassuring smile as they entered the Kafa. He hoped that he looked confident and smiled back, but could feel the insecurity behind it. He needed to focus on the task at hand. Chalna was waiting for them at a monitor and regarded Allura and Jira warmly as they approached. When her eyes fell on Keith, she eyed him quizzically, which only heightened his self consciousness. Jira’s brothers were still warming up to him, but her mother was a different story; he hadn’t really spoken to her, and he could never tell how she felt about him. Chalna turned back to Allura and her expression grew serious.
“Jira told me earlier this morning about what’s going on,” she said in a low voice. “I won’t promise anything, but I’m hopeful that the Quintessence can provide us with some answers.”
Allura nodded gratefully. “I know it’s risky doing this. Thank you… what do you have in mind?”
“Well,” Chalna sighed. “It’s a slow process to collect Quintessence because of the Hauhet, but we do have some stored that we can use for experimentation. We’ve experimented with the refined Quintessence here to see how it reacts to living things. We’re still trying to figure out how it’s making it to where some Eioans are born with an ability, unfortunately, but it didn’t take long to discover that it’s behavior changes based on the individual.”
Keith furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”
“It might be better to just show you.” Chalna pressed a button on the monitor and a small latched opened on the side, revealing several small vials filled with glowing Quintessence. She pulled one out and popped opened the vial and handed it to Allura. Once Allura took the vial, the green shone brightly and the glass shook in her hand, shattering in her grasp. Allura dropped the broken glass in surprise, but the Quintessence rose around her, casting her in an eerie glow.
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“As an Altean, Allura has great strength and abilities,” Chalna said. “The Quintessence can sense that and heightens those abilities. She could wield the Quintessence power to great advantage.”
Allura stuck out her hand and the Quintessence gathered in her palm. “What should I do with it?” Allura asked in awe.
“Well, considering that took us years to collect, be careful,” Chalna said with a tight smile. She grabbed another, empty vial and held it out. Allura clenched her fist and the green light slowly collected in the vial.
“Another example would be anyone Eioan with an ability,” Chalna continued, putting the vial away and closing the latch. “The Quintessence makes those abilities much stronger, but a law was passed years ago forbidding Quintessence injections. It can become addictive and can permanently damage a person if used too long or frequently.”
“So how do you think this will help Shiro?” Allura asked. “This may put him at a greater risk of getting hurt.”
“I’ve seen firsthand what the Quintessence the Galra use can do to people,” Chalna said, her eyes growing dark. Keith looked uncomfortably at the ground. He had forgotten that Chalna had fled the empire. Since she was a scientist, she had undoubtedly experienced what Quintessence could do. “The Quintessence is refined by an external force; the Hauhet. When we’ve tested it with the refined Quintessence that the Galra use, we found that it did two things: it either rendered Galra Quintessence useless, negated its effects so to speak, or it exacerbated its effects.”
“I see….” Allura said. “This could be a gamble then. We don’t know what to expect if we used it with Shiro.” Her eyes clouded over with doubt.
“Still,” Keith said with determination. “It could be worth it. This could be our only shot, Allura.”
“We could try just a small dosage,” Chalna offered. “Expose him to a vial and see what that does.”
“How would we know if it works though?” Jira asked. “Shiro doesn’t know what Zarkon has done to him.”
“Well there’s his arm,” Keith said. “Either the Quintessence would either make it more powerful or deactivate it completely, right?”
“That’s true...” Allura said, looking a bit more hopeful. She set her shoulders and gave Chalna a hard look. “We should do this as soon as possible.”
Chalna smiled. “How about right now?” She discreetly pointed to the entrance and Keith, Allura, and Jira turned to see Shiro enter with the other paladins. He smiled at them, walking confident and collected as always. Behind him, Hunk and Lance were still rubbing the sleep from their eyes while Pidge strode excitedly over to them.
“You guys are up and about early,” Shiro said.
Pidge approached the monitor they were standing by and took a seat. “What have you guys been up to?” She looked down at the shattered vial at Allura’s feet and squinted suspiciously at them.
Keith and Allura exchanged nervous glances, but Chalna took everything in stride. “Glad you asked,” she said. “I was just telling them what I told you and Hunk the other day.”
Hunk yawned. “What? About the Quintessence reactions with people? I’d love to see what it would do to me,” he mused. “Maybe improve my cooking skills… nevermind, you can’t improve something that’s already perfect.”
“Wait, I’m confused,” Lance said. “What does it do?”
“Simply put,” Pidge explained. “The Quintessence from the Wells takes someone’s strongest traits, physical and otherwise, and enhances them.”
“Oh.” Lance beamed. “Then I’d really like to see what it does for me.”
“Don’t get any wild ideas,” Pidge said flatly then turned to Chalna. “We’ve never actually tested it out though. Did you try it with Allura?”
“Hmm,” Chalna nodded. “We did, hence the broken vial.” She opened the latch again and pulled out a fresh one. “The Quintessence mixed with her powers was enough to shatter the glass without any effort.”
“Sweet!” Hunk said. “Can we try it?”
“Well… We need to conserve what we have, but I am curious to see what it would do with some of you.”
“Oohh, do Shiro, then. With his sick Galra arm, it would be cool to see what he could do,” Lance said, swinging his right arm around ridiculously.
Pidge and Hunk heartily agreed and Keith held his breath, hoping Shiro would take the bait. Shiro looked concerned, but didn’t protest.
“Ah… sure,” he said.
Chalna opened the vial and handed it to him. He held it with his bionic hand and the Quintessence began glowing brightly and his hand reacted, emanating purple light. The heat burst the vial as well and the Quintessence settled in around his hand. It choked out the purple light and crept up the rest of Shiro’s arm.
“Whoa.” Lance said, his wide eyed expression mirroring everyone else's. “Did it just… break your arm?”
“Um…” Shiro looked at his arm that was now glowing bright green rather than purple. His arm began to tremble and he held it down with his other hand, worry painted on his face. The trembling suddenly stopped and the light green faded, sinking into the metal of his arm. Shiro let out a timid sigh of relief.
“... That was… different,” he said quietly.
“Did that hurt?” Hunk asked cautiously eyeing his arm.
“No…” Shiro flexed his hand. “I can’t activate my arm now, though.” In one swift motion, he swung down his hand, but his arm remained dormant. He turned his hand over, puzzled at the outcome.
“Welp, now you just have a boring, metal arm,” Lance said and Pidge frowned at him.
“Did you expect that to happen?” Shiro asked Chalna. Chalna shrugged, struggling to answer him.
Shiro’s arm began trembling again and a soft green light glimmered from the metal, growing steadily brighter.
“Shiro?” Keith stepped towards him, panic building in his chest.
The trembling quickly became more violent and Shiro moved to hold his arm down, but he cried out in pain when he touched it. Sweat shone on his forehead and he bent forward.
“Chalna, how do we stop it?” Allura demanded. Shiro fell on his knees and Lance and Keith moved to help him up. Once they touched Shiro, a overpowering force threw them both back and onto the floor.
In a daze, Keith pushed himself up to see the others huddled around Shiro who was shaking uncontrollably on the ground, the Quintessence consuming his body. He bent forward on his knees and moaned in agony, clenching his bionic hand. Shiro slammed it down on the ground forcefully, cracking the concrete with ease. When Lance and Keith joined the others, Shiro’s breathing had slowed, but was still ragged and heavy. His head lolled to the side and his body lurched forward, but he caught himself from falling over. They stepped back as he pulled himself to his feet. Body still encompassed in the green light, he looked at them, revealing sickly yellow eyes.
“S-shiro?” Lance asked, brave enough to step forward.
Shiro licked his lips, and gave Lance a wicked grin. “Don’t call me that,” he spat, his voice harsh and foreign. He snatched Lance by the neck and threw him mercilessly. Lance landed roughly near the edge of one of the Wells and laid in a limp heap. Hunk rushed to help him up while the others stared at Shiro in shock. He activated his arm, and without hesitation, ran straight at Keith.