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The Wandering Calamity
Chapter 313: Iridescent Neologism: Kaleido interlude

Chapter 313: Iridescent Neologism: Kaleido interlude

On the outskirts of a certain domain outside the Primordial Blade barrier, Kaleido had just run into some rather rough and ready types who were looking to make a profit hand over fist by using said fists to hit Kaleido until he coughed up the Pressurised Pagoda like some kind of Peacock pinata... For what it was worth, Kaleido was colourful enough to be a pinata and could, at times, have an excessively punch-able personality. When Kaleido saw this particular group, he kissed his teeth and cursed aloud to himself in orcish, "Ash-shã", because this was not his first rodeo with these people. They were stubborn and insistent, to say the very least, and there were a metric ton of them. They were one of the largest bandit groups across the entirety of the dimension and it was basically impossible to get away from them if they didn't want to let you escape. They had men in every domain from top to bottom and, when they all gathered, it could take multiple domains to even fit them all comfortably in one place. They were a galactic scale nuisance so, if Kaleido tried to fight his way out without thinking things through, he would get delayed here for far longer than he wished to. His promotion was on the line here so a hitch like this was something he was not in the mood for...

The only question was, how to deal with them all in a timely manner or what kind of escape route should he keep an eye open for? Annoyingly, given their numbers, there weren't many options... However, they seemed to be mistaken about Kaleido's lack of support. Yes he was just one man but, in truth, everyone who wanted a go at the pagoda, as well as those who supported the fundamental champion clone inside it, were all technically on Kaleido's side. There were a lot of challengers and supporters of Ares heading to this domain and they would all get here relatively quickly given the nature of the teleporter-laden planet not even a few minutes away by regular flight through space. Sure the invite had only been sent recently but all that meant was that the people who were first to arrive would naturally be the strongest, as they could muster the necessary stardust to use the teleporters, as well as fly, faster, so all Kaleido had to do was sit around! Buy time, wait for some world ending powerhouse to swoop on in, and then watch the bandits scarper as they were wiped out like specks of dirt. It seemed they were aware of this too and they were gambling big time here in the hope that Kaleido would fold like a colourful paper crane before help arrived.

One of the more eager members of this group, a new guy who didn't quite understand that Kaleido was not just some expert linguistic scholar who could be bullied like this, charged forward with a raised axe. He was going to bring it down with a mighty swing and crack open Kaleido's skull to see what was inside although the bandit predicted that, by the end of the attack, not much other a grey, bloody pile of crushed brain mush. The attack was certainly a frightening one, and the guy was absolutely no slouch as this person was almost like the four horsemen of the axe-pocalypse if they were all combined into one man and at least five times stronger, but Kaleido did nothing but sigh to himself and begin wielding his umbrella like a fencing sword. Though Kaleido was by no means the strongest in Transmit, he definitely wasn't the weakest either and if these lot thought they could take the pagoda off him in the limited time they had... Well they were sorely mistaken. In fact, they'd already made a grave mistake in bringing this many people to the fight as Kaleido specialised in being a nuisance in group battles. The leader of the bandits already knew this, as he'd seen it fist hand multiple times when getting his ass whooped by Lingo, and, yet, his desperation here was palpable. There were rumours floating around that these guys owed a monumental debt for one reason or another so that would probably be why they were committing so much man power to this endeavour. You would think with their sheer numbers, enough to act like parasites and drain an entire planet of its resources in a mater of minutes, they would be able to find other ways of making money but this was the lifestyle they chose and nobody other than themselves really knew why.

As for the man attacking Kaleido, before he even knew what hit him, he'd been stabbed in the stomach by the butt of Lingo's umbrella. There was an awkward pause as he was kept at arms length by the linguist while the axe in his hands was still raised pointlessly above his head. The axeman shook his head and went to shrug off the umbrella but the butt of it was dug snugly into his flesh and all the twisting did was cause it to sink deeper into him. He didn't know it yet but his fate was already sealed. His friends in the group got to watch on as he slowly, bit by bit, turned into a stained glass statue thanks to Kaleido's umbrella treasure. If a person received enough damage from this treasure they would be 'frozen' in such a fashion and basically die on the spot. The damage dealt for this effect to take place didn't have to be lethal so this was a deadly weapon that poked and prodded you to a slow but sure death, more deadly than even a poisoned blade that fought in very much the same manner might be.

As the man was turning into a shatter-able statue, Kaleido turned to the rest of the group before him, of which there were at least tens of thousands of bandits stretching off into the horizon, and chanted the name of one of his many arts. As Kaleido had a unique aspect, 'colourful language', his magic was going to be quite non-standard and so very few people here knew what was coming. As for the bandit leader, he wasn't even moving yet, though, because the real trick to beat Kaleido was to wait and listen carefully. Paying attention to a chant was always important in a fight but, with Kaleido, that was triply true at bare minimum. Granted, keeping up with Kaleido once he really started digging deep into his reservoir of arts was nigh impossible but, up until then, it was crucial to keep track of his casting so you knew how to defend yourself. Unlike most other cultivators, whenever Kaleido cast an art it came out FAST. The drawback to this was that his arts were typically easier to resist if you saw them coming... But again, that required knowing what he was even doing in the first place. He was a real nuisance and fighting him could feel like a game of Simon says wherein if you lasted long enough you got to punch Simon in the face for all the trouble he gave you.

"Hm..." Kaleido deliberated on which art to choose but decided to keep it simple for now as he pointed towards the gathered crowd and chanted. "Blue." The first colour of the fight had been dropped and the bandit leader was quick to pull forward a user of earth magic, from the group behind him, and have him create a platform that rose high into the sky with a sturdy foundation. Everybody else made an effort to copy this general idea and raise themselves out of harms way even if they didn't know what was coming as this was how these lot fought. It was also a game of Simon says! Or more like monkey see, monkey do, but the point was that the numbers they possessed meant that someone amongst the crowd would almost always have a magic suitable for the task. The bandit leader knew everyone's specialties and would treat all his henchmen like some kind of humanoid utility belt while the rest copied him to the best of their ability. Though they looked rag tag, their members had all been divvied up into groups all consisting of various types of magical affiliations to get themselves out of whatever tough spot they were in.

Of course not everyone could make it in time to high ground as a massive tsunami crashed onto the earth from above and rolled around, picking up the stragglers and washing them away to the other side of the planet and savagely smacking their heads into the ground. Kaleido expertly controlled the tsunami so as to avoid the nearby place he was planning on setting up the pagoda but everything else on this planet was basically free to disappear as it was basically empty to begin with. Nobody was interested in this plot of land because buying it from the guy who owned the teleporter business was basically an impossible ask as the price would be too high no matter how you sliced it. Also he wouldn't sell it to you regardless. As for why the man did nothing with this planet, apparently he was saving it for his daughter when she grew up as she could have her own planet to play around on. She was definitely going to be a spoilt one! Anyway, he hadn't started building her personal paradise yet so Kaleido could go a bit heavy on the offensive. It was a small-ish planet so his attacks were capable of covering the entirety of it without much hassle but that didn't mean the bandits were going to roll over and die just because they were hit by one or two planet scale attacks. They were tough as nails! Right now there were still tens of thousands of them remaining as countless pillars dotted the planet with groups of hundreds of bandits sitting safely atop them... 'Safely'. Kaleido was about to drop a particularly nasty art and that safety net of there's was about to disappear quite rapidly.

"Ãr̃r̃ãsh" More orcish language! The native tongue of the orcs had a lot of trilled letters in them so rolling the tongue before or after 'sh' sounds was extremely common. It was a rather aggressive language and one that was quite domineering when spoken with a heavy, booming voice. It made sense though given orcs typical behavioural patterns anywhere other than Sheryashka. Sure there were plenty of gay orcs everywhere but there were also a crap ton of straight orcs who did the usual pillaging and plundering thing too and made a living that way. They were more war-like and less whore-like. As for what the art cast by Kaleido translated to, in a more understandable language, it simply meant the colour red! This was how Kaleido's aspect worked, he could only say colours! Red, blue, yellow, pink, etc... He was strictly limited to these colourful words when casting arts but the catch was that the art would have a different effect if the colour was spoken in a different language. For instance, if he'd simply said 'Red', then a blazing fireball the size of a meteor would appear.

As for what this orcish version of the 'Red' art did, it summoned a massive berserk-inducing mist that enraged anyone caught in it without any kind of mental resistance. It drove the victim wild and made them start attacking their closest comrades, leading to large scale betrayal and mayhem. Kaleido's magic was basically a two step process, colour followed by culture. The colour would mix with the personality traits and cultural aspects of those who spoke the language he chose, altering it to be thematically relevant. This was why he was similar to Eagerton but also slightly different because, though he was also a wordy fellow, he didn't invent anything! In order to learn new arts, he had to learn pre-existing languages and expand his base of knowledge. Unlike Eagerton's freedom to create, however, there was technically an upper limit for Kaleido as the number of languages in the world was finite. It wasn't an inexhaustible list so there may come a day when there was nothing left to learn but that was the trade-off. Less freedom and a hard limit on the number of arts he could learn but easy access to them provided he put in some minimal effort. Also, it made him a tricky opponent to gauge what he was doing because, unless you knew the language he was speaking, you had no idea what was coming next and, as previously stated, reacting in a timely manner to his arts was imperative. Though the bandit leader had pulled forward an expert in diffusing mist like attacks with his wind pillar magic, the rest of the bandits on the other pillars hadn't been so quick on the uptake and bloodshed was commencing at an alarming rate in multiple locations. This art was a devastating one but it was the first time the bandit leader had seen it so suffering some casualties was to be expected. He hadn't acted immediately, he reacted which gave the mist a chance to corrupt a good chunk of his men. This was a failure on his end but what was he supposed to do? Become a polyglot like Lingo just to kill one guy without any casualties?! That would take tens of thousands of years to catch up to this damned bastard! This man, Kaleido Lingo, was an obnoxious knowledge check and little else!... Sort of...

See, there was a titbit about Kaleido that few people knew regarding the benefits he'd received from his apotheosis form. When a person apotheosises, they gain significant control over their affiliated aspect from then on out but, what only a few are capable of, is rule bending. Somebody like Ignizz, for example, could make cold fire if he wanted to. Terros could make a planet full of chunky rocks light as a feather, so much so that even a baby could lift it, if he wanted to. This was a type of power reserved for only those who were really, truly, above and beyond the pale in their respective pillar. like Eagerton, Kaleido's magic came under the forgery pillar but, unlike Eagerton, Kaleido was just a bit more powerful as a cultivator and had a teensy bit more talent. It wasn't so much that Eagerton couldn't one day catch up but, for now, Kaleido still held that edge. It was also precisely that edge that allowed Kaleido to break the rules after he'd apotheosised and enter a realm that Eagerton would be truly fascinated with if he could see it.

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Lingo's control over language became that much more potent after tasting Godhood and now he possessed a skill that was diabolical to its core, something he was going to show of here and now to these worthless vermin who didn't truly grasp how big a threat Kaleido was. Sure he was still waiting for aid but that was only A, because he couldn't be bothered to fight everyone here and, B, because doing so would hold him up for longer than he wanted to get stuck here for. No one ever said he couldn't win if he was given enough time and space to do his thing. Hell, he could apotheosise and put on an unforgettable show but that was hardly needed right about now. Just the benefits he'd gained from apotheosising before, his rule breaking prowess, was enough to put the fools before him six feet under. As such, Kaleido defied the limits of his aspect by poking the stained glass statue of the man he killed earlier.

The statue was still hanging around as Kaleido intentionally left it unharmed all for this very moment. As his finger tapped the glass, a clink echoed throughout the planet and that was the sign of serious trouble headed straight for the bandits. Again, part of the main method of dealing with Kaleido was to understand the arts he was casting ahead of time but, little did the bandits know, he'd already just cast one. He'd spoken loud and clear...

In 'stained glass language'...

...

Lingo's rule breaking allowed him to invent languages on the fly, breaking free from the restrictive shackles of limited knowledge so that he could expand upon his powers as he saw fit. In this case, the clinking sound of the tapped glass was a 'language' all unto itself. As for the colour half of the equation, that was decided by the colour of the glass he tapped. In this case, the statue was made of multiple different colours so Lingo could pick and choose what art he wanted to use by selecting it off the bandit's corpse. As even the bandit leader was unaware Kaleido had just cast an art, this was going to be a real doozy and kill thousands, that was for sure. But this was the nature of Lingo's rule bending. The sound of footsteps, ambient howling of the wind, a clicked tongue, all of it could be considered a 'language' and Kaleido could tap into it all to unleash havoc at will. This was the true power of a God, or someone who came infinitely close to being one, and was where the real powerhouses of the universe got a majority of their power from. Sure, free manipulation of their affiliated elements, and borderline immunity to it as a whole, was extremely beneficial, but rule breaking like this was something the cream of the crop actively pursued to remain both unpredictable and unfair in fights.

It wasn't about fighting man to man with honour and dignity, it was about killing the person opposite you while giving them as few options as possible. In that regard, rule breaking was perfect! The common laws of the universe that your opponent expected you to abide by could all be dismissed entirely, bringing the level of combat up to a point the other person could never match because they flat out didn't understand it and couldn't react in time to the changing tide that is the flow of rule bending combat. Even if you knew that Kaleido was inventing languages, that wouldn't help you actually understand what he was doing! Point in case, Kaleido had just tapped a yellowish-tinted piece of stained glass and, before anyone could blink, the bandit leader included, tens of thousands of thunder strikes, each the size of a skyscraper, came barrelling down on the heads of everyone present like a targeted strike from the divine. This wasn't any ordinary thunder attack either because it was both homing and immeasurably powerful. Even if the cultivators here hastily raised defences they likely would have been shattered along with their heads hiding underneath. This was an art that required Kaleido's personal treasure to even activate to begin with, plus he had to invent an entire language ahead of time just to make it functional, and finally poke the statue of someone he'd already killed in order to attack everyone else. The requirements were strict but, as such, the power his art packed was cataclysmic. The stained glass Yellow art hit like a truck and, in a few seconds flat, nearly one third of all the bandits present had been killed with a quick series of blinding flashes. Some of the cultivators even suffered from epileptic seizures in addition to the actual damage but that wasn't surprising given the severity of what multiple such thunder strikes, each as ginormous as they were, did to their poor eyes.

The bandit leader was completely taken aback because he'd never seen this side of Kaleido before and a retreat was looking like the only possible option right now. Lingo was stronger than the bandit leader knew, as he'd been holding pack his true power this whole time, so there was no chance of beating him before others started arriving and backing him up. This was a painful failure, and the mission being aborted after losing so many men was like a gut punch, but retreating now was still the wisest choice. Throwing everything at Kaleido in a bid for revenge was something only a foolish person, hot tempered and incapable of controlling their anger, would do. The bandit leader wasn't particularly strong but he was smart enough to make up for that and guide his men properly. As such, he ordered a large scale retreat by sending a mental message to his second in command. From there, the mental message was spread in a chain like pattern through the personnel infrastructure that had been devised before the start of this operation. The information was disseminated in a matter of seconds and everyone turned around to start flying away from this planet, make a a break for it, and reconvene in a safe location but, as it turned out, they were already a little too late. Standing above them in space was a mighty man who's presence was suffocating enough that a nearby asteroid exploded simply because of his passive aura. A muffled 'shit' escaped from the bandit leader's mouth while he quickly searched through his men for the one that owned a large scale teleportation treasure. It would only work once before breaking but it could get everyone here to safety and that was more important right now than preserving the rare treasure. Hell situations like this were what it was made for! Of all the people to show up, it had to be this monster...

The strongest man in the universe, Armageddon...

Why was he so determined to find the pagoda? Even other people of his calibre, Veteran and Coronos, for example, wouldn't have made it here this quick... This guy was probably even more desperate than the indebted bandits but he couldn't really be blamed if the stories about him were true. Regardless, the treasure was found and the bandit leader managed to activate it milliseconds before Armageddon could go to town on them, teleporting all thousands of men away to safety back in their hideout.

Armageddon only had one arm, funnily enough quite like Veteran, and even had his magic sealed too, but the second that hand permanently resting on his hat was lifted, and pointed in your direction, you were completely fucked. Had the bandit leader not left any sooner all it would have taken was for Armageddon to click his knuckle in their direction and everything in this domain, in that direction ahead of him, would have been pulverised into dust. God forbid this man actually ever threw a fist, that would be enough to kill a God if they weren't showing due respect. Or rather, Armageddon had killed plenty of Gods before after they'd gotten on his bad side, causing him to go a rampage. This guy meant business and anyone who got in the way of his search was gonna get pummelled no matter how valid a reason they possessed because he had a one track mind. In a way, he was like a more hopeful version of Veteran... Actually, that wasn't quite true. After all his years of searching he'd lost hope too but, unlike Veteran, he persevered and kept searching even when his will to do so hit rock bottom. He wasn't searching for anything that benefitted himself, though, so maybe his desire to save another's life was what kept him motivated. Either way, Armageddon's search had led him here to the pagoda and Ares was going to be meeting him very soon.

Armageddon descended onto the planet, accidentally created a huge crater just by landing 'softly', and walked out of it by forging a ramp with via the might of his presence melting away the inconvenient earth obstructing him. He did not need to climb ever, mountains would move for him one way or another. He would sooner poke a pathway through a planet than fly around it as he viewed that a sign of weakness, the kind of weakness that led to his current predicament. He'd come to understand the idea that strength was imperative in the cultivation world the hard way and couldn't help but look back at his previous weakness with regret for the issues it caused. As such, over time, he became a man no one dared slight to prevent such issues going forward as he made a lifelong attempt to undo the harm his lack of action had created in his younger years. After all these long eons, he'd finally heard of a potential way to fix his problem and, so, with hat in hand and his head held low underneath it, he approached Kaleido to ask a very simple question in a calm but demanding voice.

"When is the pagoda going to finally be ready?"

Kaleido gave a wry smile and knew that any answer other than 'right now' would not be met with patience so he pointed to a nearby location and gave Armageddon the good news. "I was just in the middle of setting it up. Fortunately for you, you seem to be the first in line. How about we do this; if you protect me from any other people with negative intentions, I will let you challenge the pagoda for free as many times as you want without having to wait in the queue?" Free protection from an almighty being in exchange for a small freebie? This was definitely worth it if Kaleido could finagle it. Armageddon, however, simply sighed.

"I will protect you so that the pagoda can be raised without a fuss but I only wish to challenge it once and then take my leave top resume my search. I will not stick around to keep this place out of harm's way... Though I'm sure there will be plenty of other capable people arriving soon enough and they can do that job just fine. I have more important matters to attend to than sticking around here for weeks on end. Even if the creation pillar really does live up to its reputation, and its champion can resolve my issue, that does not mean I won't continue looking for alternatives in the mean time. If I can accomplish my goal even a second sooner I will not hesitate to leave and go take advantage of that instead of waiting for however many years it would take for the creation pillar to escape that barrier."

Lingo's eye twitched as there was a very obvious line of thinking here that could screw over all of Transmit in that, if Lingo could get inside the barrier to go meet with Ares, then he could logically bring Armageddon in to meet Mako too. Thankfully Transmit had made it abundantly clear that there were limitations to who could get in and out of that barrier, as it required special means that only they possessed, otherwise Armageddon would have destroyed their entire organisation for resisting and not aiding him. Or, at least, he would come dangerously close to wiping them out but, thankfully, their organisation was strong enough that the Transmit boss could maybe save them all if said boss was willing to... Apparently... That was what Lingo had been told by the higher ups so he wasn't too fearful but that didn't mean he wanted to cross Armageddon here either. If the guy started demanding that Lingo use his connections to get him inside the barrier then he would flee for the hills! He really didn't have a say in the matter! Only the boss had the means to get through the barrier and Kaleido was just following orders at the end of the day, going where he was told and permitted to. Thankfully, Armageddon seemed to understand that and not hassle him but that didn't mean he wasn't going to pay Transmit a visit later and expect a proper explanation... Would the boss of Transmit come out and fight him or would things be resolved amicably? Lingo had no clue but he definitely wanted no part in standing in opposition to this hulking mass of muscles! As such, without another word, Lingo quickly begun setting up the pagoda and sending out a signal to Transmit that he needed assistance form the usual lackeys to run the pagoda smoothly. Help would be sent over but he was also asking for an expert to swing by because Armageddon was looking antsy, people with ill will would likely show up sooner or later, and Lingo just generally did not feel safe in the slightest! This place was going to be filled to the brim with all sorts in a matter of days... Gods were going to mingle with mortals and evil would clash with good across the entire domain just because they were in close proximity to one another and Lingo would be at the centre of it all... What a nightmare... But hey, at least there was a promotion on the line and he'd definitely get it if he buckled up and lived through this!