Chapter 30
This Totally Sucks
Yulian's concerned voice cut through the maelstrom of Jon's spiraling thoughts. "What's the matter?"
He opened his mouth but no words came. If this "Ling Tianshi" had indeed been the sole interdimensional gatekeeper with the power to summon and thus, return him...then his already tenuous grasp on ever returning home had just slipped through his fingers entirely.
Won't I ever see mom again? The thought lanced through him like a barbed icicle, freezing his veins. What about my life?
He pictured his thriving business - the one he'd poured his money and countless hours of back-breaking labor into. The hard-won fruits of success he'd finally started to taste before...before all this.
Everything he'd ever known. Everyone he loved. An entire world that had finally seemed to be cutting him a break after years of karmic injustice and hardship.
xxxxAll of it...just gone? Poof - obliterated in an interdimensional blink thanks to one old hermit's mystical shenanigans?
The desolation welling up threatened to drown him. But just as quickly, some deep stubborn core within Jon's psyche flared in instinctive, indignant denial.
No.
He was not about to just roll over and let this joke of a hand he'd been dealt destroy him that easily.
If that moldy old codger Ling Tianshi had known the secrets for breaching dimensions, then they had to exist somewhere. Magic like that didn't just manifest from the ether - it came from knowledge passed down, no matter how esoteric or obscure.
Which meant there was a way home, goddammit. A path to reclaim everything this errant flight of fancy had put in jeopardy.
Jon would be damned if he let fate make that decision for him. He was getting back to his world and life came hell, highwater, or the infinite frickin' cosmos itself.
The beginnings of a dark, self-deprecating chuckle began rumbling up from Jon's chest as that defiant resolve took root.
I'm the poor asshole who put himself into permanent exile! It'd be impressive if it wasn't so tragic…
“Ha…Hahaha…”
Yulian looked utterly befuddled as his chuckles morphed into husky peals of laughter, Jon throwing his head back to let it all out in a cathartic torrent. Tears of manic mirth streaked down his cheeks as he shook his head helplessly skyward.
Alright universe, you massive bastard - you wanna play fuck-fuck games?! Buckle up, 'cause I've got nothing but time now!
He turned back to Yulian, wiping his eyes with a ragged sleeve as the hysterics slowly subsided into a smirking calm.
"Sorry, sorry - I'm good. Just had a little...existential crisis there for a second," he gulped a deep, steadying breath. "You were saying?"
"What the...?" Yulian muttered, utterly nonplussed by Jon's rapid emotional pivot from ashen-faced desolation to maniacal, teary-eyed laughter.
Instead of acknowledging her bewildered stare, Jon simply waved a dismissive hand. "It seems the alcohol from tonight has done more to me than I thought," he lied smoothly, feigning a dizzy squint. "Kinda feeling woozy all of a sudden."
He rallied himself with an overly bright smile. "Look, I'm gonna hit up the library archives tomorrow anyway - why don't we regroup and chat after that? I've still got some questions I'm mulling over."
Plausible enough, he hoped. Jon was too emotionally wrung out to keep up this banter much longer without slipping.
Yulian blinked slowly, evidently still processing his bizarre behavior. "Uhm...very well then. I'll..." She hesitated, giving him one final assessing look. "I'll see you tomorrow, I suppose."
The subtle lilt of suspicion in her tone told Jon she wasn't fully buying his song and dance. But then again, he mused as he bid her a curt "G'night" and turned on his heel, when had she been entirely straight with him either?
Fair was fair - they could be distrustful ducklings together for now. He had bigger mirkins to fry.
The walk back to his modest home allowed the weight of his newly clarified objective to truly settle over Jon's shoulders with an oppressive finality.
Guess I'll be mining that library for any arcane hints or clues about interdimensional travel tomorrow, he sighed inwardly, already bracing for the arduous intellectual slog awaiting him. Man, this totally sucks.
As he disappeared down the winding path, Jon remained blissfully unaware of Yulian's narrowed eyes trailing him from a distance, her jaw set in a hard, contemplative line.
*****
Back to the festival…
The village festival buzzed with merriment and indulgence under the blanket of night. Hearty guffaws and melodies from plucked lutes carried on the mountain breeze, mingling with the mouth watering aromas of sizzling skewers and rice wines.
Amidst the convivial throngs, one particularly sauced reveler was making the rounds with a wooden cup, offering splashes from his bottomless jug to any woman who so much as made fleeting eye contact.
"A drink for the ravishing beauty?" Zai Chongming slurred in his best approximation of a suave baritone as he sidled up to a cluster of giggling maidens. The inebriated grin plastered across his ruddy features could have lit the lanterns by itself.
One of the younger girls squeaked and averted her gaze demurely as Chongming leaned in, chest puffed out. "Might the lady's lips grace this humble brew with her favor?"
"Better keep that swill to yourself, you mangy dog!" her brassier companion barked, shooing him off with a derisive wave.
Undeterred, Chongming swiveled towards the remaining girl, only for her lip to curl in outright disgust before he could even part his lips. "On second thought, I think I'll pass on your...favor."
The drunken romeo could only blink owlishly as the trio of ladies whisked away in a flurry of primly upturned noses. Chuckling to himself, he raised his sloshing jug skyward in a mock salute.
"Very well, very well - but mark my words, beauteous blossoms! Before this night is done, I shall find my lotus amongst your ilk!"
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Glass after glass meeting a similar cool rebuff, Chongming's spirits (and stability) grew only more boldly emboldened with each cup drained. He was a man possessed - rejected suitor one moment, boisterous folk hero vowing true love's conquest the next.
Which made it all the more ironic when, in his next sloshing pivot, the swaying lush's path was suddenly obstructed by an immense, unbudging mass.
"Hmm?" Chongming peered up blearily at the moonlit silhouette towering above, his brow crinkling in drunken confusion. "Well now, I don't recall positioning such an enormous boulde-"
His words trailed off in a hiccup as he craned his neck back...and back...and back further still, until he was teetering precariously on the verge of losing his balance entirely.
Which, inevitably, he finally did with a startled "Whoa!" - crumpling backwards in a heap as his bulging eyes finally made out the towering giant of a man looming overhead. A dozen scarred feet of bronzed musculature rippling under the pale moonglow.
"Mama..." Chongming croaked in a childlike whimper, face drained of all color.
The entire festival seemed to grind to a standstill as the goliath stooped down, one massive hand extending towards the trembling drunk in a peaceful gesture.
"No need for alarm, friend," a disarmingly mild baritone rumbled out, deep and sonorous as a judge's gavel. "I should have been more aware of my surroundings."
The giant's heavily ridged features creased in what could only be interpreted as an apologetic wince as his tree-trunk neck craned downwards.
"Are you quite alright? I did not intend to startle you so."
Distantly, Chongming registered the eerie hush that had fallen over the entire celebration - dozens upon dozens of villagers now gawking in unabashed awe at the monolithic newcomer in their midst.
The tense silence blanketing the village festival was shattered by an exuberant cry.
"Finally! Chiaotzu - over here!"
Xi Jianyu waved jovially at the towering giant, a sly grin stretching his youthful features. With a nod from Zhen Wu, the music and celebrations resumed around them.
After gently righting the drunken reveler, Chiaotzu lumbered towards the elders' table, his immense frame drawing incredulous stares. Yet he seemed utterly unfazed - clearly accustomed to such gawking reactions wherever his travels took him.
With a respectable inclination, he brought his colossal fist to his opposite palm in a respectful martial salute.
"Greetings, Elders."
Zhen Wu was already rising from his seat, his face framing a broad smile as he vigorously clasped Chiaotzu's tree-trunk forearm in both hands. "Too long, old friend! You simply must relax a bit more often during these visits."
"That's exactly what I keep telling him," Jianyu chimed nonchalantly, waving a dismissive hand as he lounged back in his seat.
Then, Zhen wu waved Chiaotzu towards the empty spot Jon left across from them. "But enough rudeness - sit, sit! Let's have some wine while we're all here."
Nodding his thanks, Chiaotzu carefully lowered his bulk onto the place. "You have my gratitude for the hospitality, Senior Brother Zhen Wu. But I'm afraid..."
His voice trailed off as his gaze met Jianyu's, the cultivator giving him a nonchalant nod and wave to continue. Chiaotzu let out a low rumble of acknowledgment.
"...As Senior Brother Jianyu has no doubt already briefed you, time is of the essence. We must track him before he flees yet again."
The elders stilled, all eyes turning towards the deceptively languid Jianyu. Draining his cup, the young cultivator sighed. "He won't be fleeing anywhere this time."
Zhen Wu and the others tensed attentively. Jianyu simply refilled his drink, utterly unfazed by the weight of their scrutiny.
"While coming down, I saw a man, fat like a pig, scurrying away like a rat." A sardonic twist of his lips. "Sure enough, when I looked closer, there was our little quarry darting through those passes, terrified and twitchy as ever."
Chiaotzu started like a spooked grizzly, shock writ large across his craggy features. "What?! You saw him? Senior Br-"
A mollifying pat on the shoulder cut him off as Jianyu leaned in, eyes glinting with calculated nonchalance.
"Aah, my dear little brother..." He clucked his tongue in an infuriatingly patronizing way. "Don't you trust this senior of yours? Not even a tiny bit?"
The question hung with mocking innocence. Chiaotzu's stony countenance didn't so much as flicker.
"Not particularly, no."
Jianyu recoiled with a theatrical wince, clutching his chest in feigned offense. "Ouch...such candor wounds me deeply, junior!"
Any pretense of humor vanished as Jianyu’s gaze turned to flinted steel. Leaning across the table, his next words carried an undercurrent of cold, undisguised menace.
"I tagged that pig the moment I saw him. A very...intricate spirit-tracking talisman of our sect’s design. He won't be slipping these leashes anytime soon, I can assure you."
*****
The crisp mountain air carried the sound of frantic footfalls pounding against the hard-packed dirt path. Xue Feng darted between the looming pines like a hunted animal, chest heaving with each ragged breath.
Twigs snapped underfoot as he risked a desperate glance over his shoulder. Still no sign of pursuit...at least not yet. But he knew it was only a matter of time before those cultivators from the Southern Edge Sect caught his trail again. Gritting his teeth, Xue pushed on with renewed urgency.
He had to make it over the next ridge before -
"Out for a late evening stroll, are we?"
The dry, reedy voice seemed to materialize from the shadows themselves. Xue skidded to an abrupt halt, whipping his head around wildly until his gaze finally landed on the wizened figure perched atop a mossy tree branch.
An elderly man with a thoroughly craggy countenance and a long, wispy beard regarded him with an infuriatingly serene expression. One gnarled hand stroked his chin contemplatively as piercing eyes bored into Xue.
It’s that old dry wood seller… Xue thought.
"You seem to be in quite the hurry, young sir. Might I inquire as to the nature of your...haste?"
Xue's hands instinctively dropped into a defensive stance, fingertips glowing with the faintest wisps of qi. "That's none of your concern, old man. Just stay out of my way."
The stranger's bushy brows arched in mild surprise. "My, my...such hostilities. I meant no offense, newcomer - I was merely admiring this lovely moonlit vista when your panic drew my curiosity."
Unwilling to be disarmed by the eccentric codger's affable tone, Xue tensed as the oldster slowly levered himself off the boulder with a slight groan.
"Ah, my poor back is no longer what it used to be! Still, I do feel I should warn you..." A flash of something indiscernible flickered through those ancient eyes. "By dashing through these woods in such a brazen fashion, you've stirred up quite the commotion in that village yonder. They did not seem pleased with your abrupt...exit, let's call it."
The pieces rapidly fell into place, a growl building in Xue's chest. So this leathery relic was yet another set of eyes to bear witness to his desperate flight - another potential snitch to be silenced before word spread further.
"If you know what's good for you," he snarled, jade-green light coalescing around his fists, "you'll turn around and forget you ever saw me, greybeard. This doesn't concern you."
To his dismay, the old man didn't so much as flinch. A serene smile played across his lips as that piercing gaze roamed up and down Xue's trembling form.
"Oho? Such fire - such passion! Your technique is quite impressive for one so young..." He cocked his head appraisingly. "Though I do wonder if that first stance wasn't a touch too wide? Leaves your left side dreadfully exposed, I fear."
The words had barely left his lips when Xue snapped, launching himself forward with a feral roar and fists blazing like twin emerald suns “I warned you old man! Don’t blame me for this!”
He struck with every ounce of ferocity and technique he could muster, unleashing a furious barrage of blows and kicks that could shatter granite.
Yet with each vicious attack - no matter how deftly angled or powerfully driven - the old man simply...wasn't there.
Like smoke dispersing on the wind, he flowed around Xue's onslaught with an effortless, boneless grace that defied the limitations of his aged frame.
"Solid footwork, solid footwork!" Han's gravelly tones seemed to drift from every shadow, utterly unfazed. "But you mustn't sacrifice your root for those furious haymakers, boy. Keep that center strong - it's your foundation, your anchor. Without that grounding, you're just flailing about with no substance..."
On and on the cryptic commentary washed over Xue, infuriating in its nonchalant dismissal of his furious assault. Sweat streamed down his brow as he redoubled his efforts, chasing that ever-evading specter with every ounce of speed and precision his body could muster.
But no matter how fast or powerful his strikes, the old master always stayed just one maddening step ahead - bobbing and weaving through the onslaught with a serene smile playing about his lips.
Finally, chest heaving like a bellows, Xue could barely remain upright - the strain of his all-out offensive taking its inevitable toll. Bent over with fists braced on buckling knees, he raised his gaze to spit out a curse...
...Only to find the spry oldster perched on a fallen log mere feet away, regarding him with an infuriatingly paternal expression.
"Commendable effort, young man - truly! Your fire and footwork show great promise..." Han clucked his tongue thoughtfully, leaning forward with avuncular interest. "But tell me - what grievous misdeed have you committed to earn the ire of both Southern Edge and its Rising Dragon alike? Their headmasters do not marshal such force without dire provocation..."