Chapter 22
The Answers To The Universe
Zhilan was festive tonight, a jubilant din of dancing bodies, clinking cups, and raucous laughter. Some spun and swayed to the lively music, others drained cup after cup of potent rice wine, and the wiser folks made judicious use of all three indulgences.
Jon found himself firmly in the latter category, savoring the various dishes passed his way by overeager grandmothers and not-so-subtly flirtatious village girls. He hadn't even had to lift a finger–the food just seemed to materialize before him, deposited by a parade of admirers.
Jon smirked to himself. Pretty privilege has its perks, hehehe, I could totally get used to this.
While many of the dishes mirrored the comforting familiarity of meals from his home world, there were notable exceptions that made Jon's tastebuds tingle with delight.
The fabled "honey cake" Li Xin had hyped turned out to be a delectably boozy revelation - the pastry's sweetness was cut by an undercurrent of alcohol that blended in perfect, mouth-melting harmony. Just thinking about it made Jon's eyes roll back.
Then there was the "moon rabbit" meat a grandma insisted he try. Jon had braced for some confounding mythological beast, but one bite revealed it to be the most exquisitely seasoned and tender rabbit he'd ever tasted. The flavors sang of rare spices and skillful smoking, each bite's tender burst awakening his soul in ways he didn't know were possible for something so seemingly pedestrian as rabbit meat.
Jon looked over at Li Xin, who was already three sheets to the wind barely an hour into the festivities. The man's cheeks and ears were fully flushed, his eyes glassy, yet he seemed utterly content - swaying slightly with the music as he shoveled down skewer after skewer of grilled meat.
"You know...hic...this is the true meaning of f-festiv...festivid...festivi...FUN!" Li Xin slurred, bits of half-chewed meat debris projectiling from his mouth with each joyous exclamation. He leaned towards Jon conspiratorially, an intricate ceramic cup sloshing precariously in his other hand.
"Thissshhh....this rice wine, Bruthah Jon..." he continued, speech steadily devolving. "Issshhhh...is what holdssss all the an-ansers. To life. To the, hic, the uni-verrrsssse." He nodded slowly, seemingly impressed by his own profoundly incoherent musings.
Jon raised an eyebrow, struggling not to laugh at his intoxicated companion's antics. "Is that so? Then please, oh sage of the sauce, enlighten me with these cosmic vinous truths you've uncovered."
Li Xin's brow furrowed deeply as he squinted, clearly grappling with how to condense the infinite complexities of a drunken epiphany into words. After a beat, he gave up, simply shrugging and grinning that big silly grin of his.
"Anshhherssss...anshhers come later! Less talk, more driiink!" He lifted his wildly sloshing cup towards Jon, an anticipatory look of childlike glee dancing in his glazed eyes.
Jon laughed, clinking his cup against Li Xin's as some of the potent rice wine went sloshing over both their hands. "You make a compelling argument, my friend."
As their laughter and jovial conversation mingled with the rhythmic drumbeats and jubilant voices swirling around them, conversing was nearly impossible without raising their voices.
Li Xin's daughter, Xiulan, approached. A warm smile played across her face, barely concealing her embarrassment as she gently prodded her father.
"Father, you know you cannot handle alcohol well. Is it not too soon for you to be drinking?" she chided lightheartedly.
Jon nodded in silent agreement. For a man of Li Xin's...condition, he certainly had an excessive fondness for the sauce. Hell, even his favorite dessert - that heavenly honey cake - was laced with booze. Maybe having two wives and seven unruly children was enough to drive any man into the welcoming embrace of inebriation. Still, he was one damn lucky man by any standards.
Li Xin simply grinned back at his daughter, his words already beginning to slur. "Oh, my shhhweet, shhhweet princessh Xiulan!" he proclaimed dramatically, swaying slightly. "You are ssso beautiful, ashh alwaysss. I would like to...to make a poem for you!"
He screwed his face up in intense concentration, clearly struggling to compose his drunken Wordsworthian tribute. But before the first garbled line could spill forth, Jon intervened with a conciliatory laugh.
"Alright, alright Brother Li Xin, I'm sure it would have been a masterpiece for the ages," Jon said, trying to keep his tone light and free of mockery. "But perhaps poetry is best pursued with a clearer mind, eh?"
Li Xin seemed to consider this briefly before nodding in vague agreement. "Yesssh...yesssh you may be right, Brother Jon."
Xiulan shot Jon a grateful look before turning back to her father. "Mother said to bring you back home now, Father. The feast is over for you this evening."
But Li Xin seemed not to fully register her words, his drink-addled mind having quickly moved on to fresher topics of inquiry. "Brotherrrr Jon..." he slurred, leaning in conspiratorially. "You ssssaid you were unwed, yessssh?"
Jon felt his stomach drop as realization dawned. He glanced uncertainly between the inebriated Li Xin and his increasingly flushed daughter, immediately regretting having divulged such personal information.
"Uh...yeah? Why do you ask?" he ventured cautiously.
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Li Xin threw his head back, releasing a belly laugh that surely could have awoken the dead. "My dear Xiulan, the pearl of my eyesss, isssh not married either!"
(This was undoubtedly true - in Xiulan's twenty-three years of life, her father had stubbornly refused over four hundred offers of courtship from various young men across the land, deeming none of them worthy enough for his precious daughter's hand. Even some imperial ministers. Yes, you read it right.)
"Father!" Xiulan sputtered, shooting Jon an utterly mortified look as the color drained from her face.
But Li Xin rambled on, undeterred. "No no, my love, listen! Brother Jon is a merchant, ssso he knowsss how to make the moniesss. And he hasss a sssword, so he can protec'!"
He swung his cup towards Jon, sloshing more rice wine over his already damp robes as he beamed at the completely befuddled young man. "And! You are one of the mossst handsssshome ladsss I've ever ssseen in thisss land! And I like him, he hashh a-hic... a good h-heart. So, Brother Jon...why don't you think about takin' my Xiulan'sss hand in marriage, hmmm?"
An utterly flabbergasted silence fell over the trio, punctuated only by the distant sounds of raucous celebration. Jon was at a complete loss for words, mouth opening and closing stupidly like a gasping fish.
Xiulan, meanwhile, looked like she wanted nothing more than to be swallowed whole by the earth itself - her face's deep crimson hue clashing violently with her freckles and her ornate festive attire. She steadfastly avoided making eye contact with Jon, seemingly just as blindsided as he was by her father's drunken antics.
Is...is she expecting me to answer that? Jon's mind raced, completely unsure how to diffuse the intensely awkward situation Li Xin had created. Attempting to politely reject a marriage proposal from a drunken man's daughter seemed like a potential minefield of cultural misunderstandings.
Clearing his throat, Jon mustered his most diplomatically neutral tone. "Well...Li Xin, that's, uh, that's quite an unexpected honor you propose..."
Just then, Jon was saved by the proverbial bell - or in this case, the timely arrival of Yulian herself.
"Excuse me, I hope I am not interrupting, bu-" she began, but Jon swiftly cut her off with an enthusiastic bellow.
"You're not interrupting at all!"
Thank you, thank you so much, he mentally projected, eyes wide with unspoken gratitude for her unconscious intervention.
Turning back to Li Xin, Jon's exasperation mounted as he saw the drunken man was now half-dozing, head lolling precariously. You've got to be kidding me...you're just passing out now? After dropping that bombshell marriage proposal?
His gaze then fell on Xiulan, whose face was still flushed a deep crimson. She kept shooting furtive glances his way before quickly averting her eyes back down to the ground, then over to her semi-comatose father. An uncomfortable silence stretched between them.
Seriously? You're actually into me? Jon thought, utterly bewildered.
He had to admit, Xiulan was breathtakingly beautiful, even by the high standards of his home world. But any romantic entanglements were the absolute last thing on his mind right now. Getting married would only serve to cement his status in this bizarre realm - a prospect he couldn't fathom entertaining until he found a way back home.
Clearing his throat loudly, Jon decided the only solution was a tactful retreat from the entire mortifying situation.
"Hmm! Uh, Xiulan, I think we should get your father home before he catches a chill from...from all this night air," he offered, trying to keep his tone casual and free of judgement.
Xiulan nodded jerkily, still steadfastly avoiding direct eye contact. Jon resisted the urge to roll his eyes. This is going to be awkward for a while, isn't it?
But before he could make a move to rouse the insensate Li Xin, Yulian smoothly interjected. "No need for that," she said, making a subtle hand gesture towards a pair of nearby, powerfully-built men who seemed to be twins.
They immediately moved to hoist Li Xin up between them as Yulian addressed the group. "Chief Zhen Wu wanted to have a word with you, Jon. You're the only newcomer he has not yet properly welcomed."
She turned to Xiulan. "Fei and Sei will take your father home for the evening. Do not worry about him."
Xiulan mumbled a soft "Thank you, Brother Yulian," still not meeting anyone's gaze as the twin men shuffled off with Li Xin's dead weight between them.
"Weeeee! I'm flyinggggg!" the utterly plastered man's voice trailed off into the celebrating crowd.
Jon and Yulian both watched with matching half-smiles and shakes of the head. Somehow, Li Xin had managed to avoid vomiting up his guts thus far - a rather impressive feat of drunken fortitude, all things considered.
As Xiulan murmured a hasty "I shall take my leave then. Have a good evening," Jon raised a hand in parting, only to receive a flustered, jerky nod in return before she practically fled from the scene.
He let out a long, low whistle, turning back to Yulian with a look of profound gratitude. "I definitely owe you one for that save. Consider it logged in the gratitude ledgers."
Yulian simply shrugged with a sly smile. "I'll be sure to make note of that outstanding favor when the time is right."
Jon politely excused himself from the gaggle of elderly ladies insisting he join them for a dance - their merry cackles and playful cat-calls following him as he wound his way through the raucous celebration.
Up ahead, he spied Qingshan laughing uproariously with a group of men, flagons of rice wine sloshing precariously in their hands. And there, sneaking surreptitiously around the outer fringes, was none other than Big Dawg himself. Jon did a double-take as the crafty canine snatched up a piece of discarded poultry, devouring it in one fluid motion before anyone was the wiser.
"I'd almost forgotten about this guy today," Jon whispered to himself in amazement.
As if picking up on the mention, Big Dawg's head swiveled in Jon's direction. Their eyes met, and the dog seemed to...nod? Again? Acknowledging Jon with a subtle dip of his furry chin, as if to say 'What's up, my dude?'
Jon blinked owlishly. At this point, was he really so unmoored from reality that he was imagining anthropomorphized interactions with the dog? Perhaps he would need to closely examine Big Dawg's behavior again later, just to assuage concerns that his mental faculties were crumbling under the surreal strain. Or that the dog had really become a spirit beast.
Shaking his head bemused, Jon pressed on until he found Zhen Wu seated cross-legged around a low table, engaged in a lively discussion with a handful of elders. Even before Jon could approach and pay his respects, the Chief's eyes twinkled in recognition.
"Ah, Brother Jon Li! Come, come, have a seat with us please!" Zhen Wu made a sweeping gesture, shifting over to create a space amidst the group.
Jon flowed into a respectful fist-and-palm salute as he settled in. "Thank you for this most generous feast, Chief. I am truly grateful for your hospitality."
And he meant it - after his harrowing escape from the demon cult's clutches, he could have easily found himself stranded in some far grimmer corner of this realm. Blind, alone, with no knowledge of its denizens or customs. Things could have gone much, much worse.
Zhen Wu waved off the formality with a boisterous chuckle. "Please, none of these stuffy formalities tonight! We are here to celebrate and make merry, so let us do just that!"
As Jon took his seat among the elders at Chief Zhen Wu's table, he scanned the faces around him, acknowledging them all one by one. His eyes briefly met those of the old man he had noticed earlier in the marketplace—the one with the intense gaze that seemed to see right through him. The old man nodded once at Jon's respectful greeting, his expression stoic as he returned to his meal without a word.
Zhen Wu thrust a filled ceramic cup into Jon's hands, the others following suit as they raised their drinks in a jubilant salute. Jon couldn't help but grin and mirror the toast, clinking his cup against the Chief's with a resounding ting!