“Thank you,” Regina said to her parents, “for granting me a most magical evening.”

Both of her parents looked at her with a skepticism that felt richly deserved…

…especially since Regina had snuck into their parlor for a talk after she had crawled through half their townhouse hedges and then vanished upstairs before anyone could see her.

“I am glad to hear that, Regina,” her mother said dryly. “I did not think your actions tonight meant you were thrilled by everything that happened…”

“Especially since you disappeared partway through the night,” her father snapped. “Regina, what happened to you? Why did you flee from the party?! Did you not know that it cost –”

Regina wryly thought the party would have been much more expensive if anyone had caught her in her torn dress before she had snuck back to her room to change into something less tattered.

Yet before Regina’s father could begin elaborating on the costs for the party – which Regina would not be surprised to include his immortal soul, based on how much gold and crystal had been applied to every surface – Regina interrupted.

“Whatever it cost,” Regina brightly said, “I am deeply honored you chose to pay it because it is thanks to both of you that I have met…”

She had to close her eyes before she said the last part, in an attempt to shield herself from embarrassment.

“...The love of my life!”

There was a deafening silence for a minute before Regina’s mother quietly asked her father, “Did our daughter find the ‘special’ punchbowl tonight?”

Before her worried father could answer, Regina shook her head and hurried forward.

“No,” Regina bravely said. “I had just one glass of champagne. I am not in my cups – unless you consider the cups of the ecstasy of love!”

“By the blood,” her father cursed. “I knew we should have kept a closer eye on her!”

“Listen to me!” Regina cried, raising her voice at her parents in a way she would not normally dare, save for a dire emergency. “I met a wonderful man at the party tonight and had a revelation… one with which you will be most pleased!”

“We did not raise you to have revelations,” her mother said, although Regina was surprised to see that her mother seemed to be shifting between an odd combination of amusement and concern.

“I know you want me to marry the Crown Prince of Carcosa,” Regina continued, taking advantage of the fact that neither of her parents were yet attempting to murder her. “However ultimately, I do not believe such a path would suit me.”

“Why not?” her father asked, his forehead furrowing in a way that made Regina concerned he was going to declare her a deviant account and destroy her.

“Because I am an inbred shut-in who can barely string together two sentences in public before wanting to flee into the night,” Regina snapped, more honest with her parents than she had been for the entire rest of her life. “Do you think a woman who can barely handle a simple party should come anywhere near being queen?”

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

The sudden, if unflattering, silence from her parents gave Regina more hope than she had felt for years.

“I assume,” said her mother finally, in a tone of voice Regina could not recognize, “that you have more to say than just speaking of your own worst qualities.”

Regina barely avoided rolling her eyes at the idea that she would concede weakness without offering an even better alternative in return.

“I have not just met the love of my life,” Regina said, “I also learned some critical information about Crown Prince Aaron Alpin during this party.”

She took a deep breath, thrilled that both her parents were actually listening and wishing that it had not taken her imminent death to find a way to speak with them.

“After meeting a… certain someone close to the Crown Prince,” Regina stated, “I have learned he is a very calm, intelligent, and ruthless person. Does the Crown Prince seem like someone whose ear I could bend for the sake of our family?”

The looks her parents exchanged made it clear that they were suddenly realizing how insane that expectation was.

“Yet you need to marry,” her mother said at last, looking strangely desperate, “and you need to marry a prince! The elders have already determined that you will be Carcosa’s next queen! If you do not manage to do what the elders want you to…”

Regina closed her eyes.

She knew just what might happen to her if she ended up making her family’s elders unhappy.

She was trapped between the rock of the Sheridans and the hard place of the Alpins.

…So it was a damned good thing that she was determined to dig her way to safety.

“I may not be Carcosa’s next queen,” Regina calmly replied, “but perhaps the elders would be happy if I still became a member of the Alpin royal family… and the potential grandparent of another king or queen.”

Clearly shocked, her father asked, “What do you mean?”

“There is more than one prince,” Regina pointed out, “though the second one is… not as well known as Crown Prince Aaron. Still, I met the second prince tonight and he is a very… gentle person, very unlike his brother. He is kind and tender-hearted and very easy to…”

Regina trailed off, watching as her parents’ expressions went from confusion to understanding.

“The love of your life, hmmm?” said her mother after a moment, pulling out a knife to twist between her fingers.

“Tender-hearted, huh?” added her father, narrowing his hazel-gold eyes.

“Absolutely,” Regina said, with a tremulous smile as the last few pieces of her plan began to fit together. “Kind… tender-hearted… and very easy to influence, no matter how poor my socialization might be.”

There was another long silence as her parents stared at each other and then at Regina, their gaze so intense that it was a wonder Regina did not start burning.

After what felt like hours, they both suddenly smiled and Regina released a breath she did not even know she was holding.

“The second prince,” Regina’s mother said after a moment, flipping her knife into the air and catching it smoothly between her fingers. “What is his name again?”

“Artem,” Regina said, the smile on her face genuine at last. “His name is Prince Artem Alpin and he is the love of my life…”

As her parents leaned in with calculated attention, Regina realized that Henrietta’s romance novels were an accurate depiction of the world.

After all, apparently you could end all conflicts and contact with your terrible family… just by getting married.

‘Just you wait, Artem Alpin,’ thought Regina. ‘Once those wedding vows are read, you and I will never see any of these people ever again.’

Unfortunately for Regina, while romance novels were of some use, it was soon going to become obvious that she should have spent her time reading military strategies.