Hero or villain, it was a fact that superpowers come with a lot more than just great responsibility. They came with grievous bodily harm. In Jay’s experience, these injuries could range from minor scrapes, to the loss of limbs, or in his case, impalement.

While one might assume higher-level supers were an exception to the rule, but that’s not quite the case. To date, there hasn’t been a superhuman who was invulnerable to all forms of injury. Even Alphaman has been observed bleeding before. There are no gods in Neo Houston masquerading as men.

That being said, Jay still somehow forgot the injury Stygian received during the battle last week. It seemed inconsequential when his healing factor was on display constantly. What was there to worry about when all injuries fade like paper cuts? Unfortunately, however, this seems to be one of the rare times Jay’s common sense malfunctioned.

“What do you mean it’s not healed?”

“It won’t close…”

Jay paces around his apartment, phone in hand. “It’s not healed at all?”

“Well, it did a little. But it's not like normal.”

“You didn’t think to tell me sooner? Gannet.”

“I was afraid. Jay, I don’t know what to do…”

“Okay, okay, just stay where you are. I’m coming.”

“Okay.”

Quickly, Jay begins collecting the essentials. He grabs his first aid kit and keys before pulling on a hoodie and heading out the door. Luckily, the road is slow tonight. Jay breezes through the sparse traffic before getting onto the more rural roads. It only takes him about 45 minutes driving full speed to reach Texas and Taurrage’s ranch house.

As he arrives, Jay rushes from his van and toward the door. He neglects to knock, barging in and immediately seeking out the nearest person. It’s Texas. He startles, nearly falling off the oversized couch in fright at the sudden entrance.

“What the hell! Quickwiz—”

“Where is Gannet?”

Texas frowns. “He’s locked himself in the guest room. Don’t count on getting inside. Sebastian’s been trying all day. Damned kid refuses help.”

“We’ll see.”

“Try if you don’t believe me! The clown already did. She got here before you.”

“Razzmatazz is here?”

“She’s still trying to get him out.”

Jay heads down the hall from the kitchen, finding Razz with her ear to the door. “Gannet, Jay is here.”

Shadows hold the door firmly shut. Jay touches them gently, finding a slight warmth under his hand. “Gannet, it's me.”

The darkness slides away. Jay enters the room slowly, finding Gannet on the bed. He’s bundled in blankets, anxious eyes peeking from the dark.

“You came.”

“Of course..”

“I was scared.”

“I know. It’s okay, I’m here now. Let me see.”

Nervously, Gannet emerges from the safety of the blankets. Jay braces himself, expecting a gaunt face and sunken eyes. To his relief, though, Gannet looks mostly normal. Mostly, except for the dark stain blooming the his side of his shirt.

“Did you bandage it at all?”

Gannet averts his eyes, shaking his head. Shit.

“Okay. Lay down and lift your shirt up.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m just going to take a look, okay? I’m not going to touch it.”

Razz steps forward. “You can hold my hand.”

Gannet squeezes Razz’s hand, eyes shutting as he lifts his shirt. Jay holds his breath, expecting the worse. Much to his relief, there is no sign of excessive blood or infection. In all honesty, it looks better than how one would expect such a deep cut. Especially since Gannet forwent all medical attention. However, it's still not a pretty sight. Jay cringes as he realizes Alphaman definitely got through to the deeper layers of skin, down deep enough that it definitely required stitches.

"Have you ever been hurt this badly before?" Jay asks.

“Yes. Much worse than this.”

“How bad?”

Gannet stares at the ceiling, eyes empty. “They did regeneration capacity testing on me.”

Razzmatazz sits on the bed. “So, basically they tried to see what you would heal from?”

“Fire. Acid. Radiation. Amputation. The nine yards.”

“Amputation,” Jay repeats, ice in his veins.

“Yes.”

“Everything…grew back though?” Razzmatazz asks.

“Either grew back or found its way back and reconnected.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yes.”

Jay gets close, brushing Gannet’s bangs from his face tenderly. “We’re going to do the best to help you, okay? But you need medical attention. I think that something about Alphaman’s powers makes it harder for you to heal naturally.”

Gannet’s eyes go red. “Is it going to hurt?”

“I’m going to get a professional to do it, okay? I’ll make sure they make you as comfortable as possible.”

“Hospital heist!” Razzmatazz cheers quietly.

“I didn’t say that.”

“Jay, who’s going to willingly treat a supervillain? Obviously, we will need to cruelly kidnap someone. And also hold them hostage. And steal one of those blood pressure thingy’s that squeezes your arm really hard. Oh! Oh! And a stethoscope. Yeah.”

Jay sighs. “I’ll go get my mask.”

After a bit of last-minute planning and disguising, Jay is soaring over Houston once more. Only this time he’s not being embarrassingly cradled by Stygian. No, this time he’s riding atop Razzmatazz, shapeshifted into a monstrous bat-winged creature.

“This is like a movie! How are you only class-A?” He cheers.

“Takes a lot more energy to sustain forms that people aren’t thinking about. The mental toll is higher. Think of painting a photorealistic masterpiece without ever looking at a reference,” Razzmatazz gurgles.

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

“So you basically need help picturing the shape?”

“Yeah. Took me a lot of practice just to mimic people on my own. For years, I always made the heads too big. You were easy though. You look so generic.”

Jay snorts. “Thanks.”

He gazes down. The lights of Houston blink kindly back at him. Rivers of red and white headlights sparkle, the lifeblood of the city. Jay watches them rush around, thinking of the little ants living their insignificant lives. Jay wonders what his life would be like if they all were like that. If everything made sense.

The voice of Jay’s doppelganger rings in his mind. We have to fix everything, make things make sense.

“Why did you want to be a hero, Razzmatazz?”

A pair of pink eyes peek at Jay from the back of the monster’s head. “You did some digging on me, huh?”

“I always knew that you were in the Junior hero program. We just never talked about it.”

“As a kid, a lot of people were afraid of me when I shapeshifted. Fears are easier, but I can shift into nice things too if I focus hard. I was working on it before I got expelled.”

Jay chews on her words for a moment. He looks back down again. Now the traffic below them has stopped, frozen in place by some accident or issue with the road.

“So you didn’t want anyone to be afraid of you?”

“A little. I also just wanted to get better at turning into shit.”

“I think I was trying to convince myself I had similar motivations.”

“Yeah?”

“I thought I wanted to be useful. Then that happened, but I wasn’t happy. Then I thought I wanted to be noticed. I got it, but now I’m definitely not happy. So now I think I just wanted everyone to be like me. To control everyone and make things fit my worldview. That’s a pretty villainous motivation, don’t you think?”

“It could be. But you got it now, didn’t you? Or at least, you found people like you. You found us.”

Jay smiles. “Yeah. I guess. Not sure how I'm going to achieve the other goal, though. How do you make sense of all this bullshit?”

“You get help! The Alliance is growing by the day, Jay. plus, you have me!”

“That’s true. If you help me, I’ll help you practice turning into nice things.”

The pink eyes turn a familiar Stygian-red. “Turning into the thing that makes you happy is easy. The hard part is hearing all the gross thoughts associated.”

“Sorry not sorry.”

“Stop thinking about the boob window.”

“No. You can’t deprive me of the boob window. It’s my favorite thing about his new suit.”

Razzmatazz laughs. “Speaking of hard things, I’m going to plummet from the sky if I hold this form any longer.”

“Shit, let's land then.”

A little less than graceful, they begin to descend. It's a rough start to their heist, but they make it in one piece to the ground in a tumble of feathers, scales, and bat wings. Jay picks himself up off the ground, checking their surroundings. They’re in an alleyway behind a hospital.

Jay dusts himself off, checking his flimsy disguise is in place. He feels a little naked, only wearing a thin hoodie, an N95 mask, sneakers, and a pair of blue-plaid pajama bottoms. Would this be enough to protect his identity?

Razz taps a bunny slipper. She’s also in her pajamas: a fuzzy pink set with matching hearts on both the tank top and the shorts. “Stop fussing with your outfit, princess. Tell me the plan.”

“We’re going to pretend you’re an injured civilian. Then you’re going to isolate a target and force them to come with us. We need to be as efficient and quick as possible.”

“I can do that. Let’s just grab the first person in a lab coat we see.”

“Razz, you can’t do that. We need someone who knows what they’re doing. Kidnapping a phlebotomist isn’t exactly going to help us right now.”

“So we need a surgeon?”

“Exactly. Look at the name tags. It should say what their job is.”

“Got it. Anything else?”

“We need medical supplies and painkillers.”

“Okay, don’t think Gannet will take any pain killers though. He’s afraid of relapsing.”

“I know, but maybe we can find something he’s comfortable with. Just grab anything that looks like it could provide relief. ”

“Alright. Are we ready?”

“Ready.”

With a flash of rainbow, Razzmatazz takes on the appearance of a young blonde woman in a prom dress. Gruesomely, red covers her from head to toe.

“What do you think?”

“Carrie? Really?”

“Do you have a different horror movie icon in mind?”

Jay snorts. “Carrie is fine. I’m going to pick you up now.”

“Oh, my hero!”

Jay rolls his eyes as he lifts Razz into his arms princess style. She kicks her legs cheerfully as Jay begins to walk around the back of the alley toward the front.

As they step into the buzzing illumination of the street lamps, Razzmatazz goes limp in his arms. It’s a little frightening, actually, how realistic the portrayal is. Jay ignores the buzzing thrum of anxiety, running into the hospital.

“Help! Please help!”

The quiet lobby of the urgent care jumps in shock. Eyes of patients and providers alike go wide at the horrific sight of Razzmatazz, unconscious and bloody in Jay’s hold.

Immediately, the nurse behind the desk rushes forward. “What happened?”

“I don’t know. I just came home, and she was like this.”

“What’s your relation to her, sir?”

Jay freezes. “Er—“

Razzmatazz coughs up a bubble of blood, eyes cracking open. “Oh, Jarvis, promise me you won’t remarry if I pass!”

Jay feels his eye twitch. “It’s going to be okay, honey. The doctors are going to help you.”

The nurse helps lift Razzmatazz from Jay’s arms and into a rolling cot as more doctors arrive. They buzz around her as they shine lights in her eyes and press stethoscopes to her stomach.

“Miss, can you please tell me the date? Miss?”

Razz goes limp again, more blood dramatically leaking from her mouth and nose. Jay would find it a little funny how dramatic it all is, if it wasn’t so horrifying. He has to fight the urge to make sure she’s still acting.

The nurses become more frenzied. “She’s coding! Get her to the operating room!”

The crowd of doctors bustle down the hallway as they rush razzmatazz down the hall. A dark-haired woman in a lab coat joins them, immediately taking her place beside Jay.

“Sir, I’m going to be your wife’s surgeon today. Does she have any allergies or medications?”

“She—“

Before Jay has a chance to say anything else, several tendrils erupt from Razzmatazz in a gory explosion straight out of a dark sci-fi movie. The doctors scream as one grabs the surgeon while the others grip onto the walls.

Jay jumps onto the cot as Razzmatazz begins to roll it down the hallway with her freakish new appendages. They leave the rest of the doctors in the dust as they reach incredible speeds, zooming left and right as they search for their next target.

Suddenly, there’s a flash of a sign on the wall: operating rooms 110-115, patient rooms 116-130, pharmacy 131.

“Turn left, Razz!”

The cot veers left, crashing into the pharmacy at the end of the hall and sending everyone inside running in terror. Jay jumps off the cot just in time to tackle a terrified pharmacist.

“Help! Stop!”

Jay pins him to the wall. “Calm down. Just do as we say and everything will be okay.”

The pharmacist’s eyes go wide in fear, peeking over Jay’s shoulder to where Razz is still writhing on the cot.

Jay takes a look, cringing at the monstrous scene. "Razz, stop please. I need him to talk."

Razz stops the bizarre performance and sits up, now transformed into her true self. She waves a tendril at the pharmacist, grinning with sharp teeth. “Don’t be scared! I probably won’t bite!”

“Oh god, villains,” the pharmacist whimpers, ”what, what do you want?”

“We need drugs.”

The pharmacist gapes, mouth opening and closing like a fish. “I—what do you need them for?”

“25 year old male, 140 pounds, 5’8, no allergies, past substance abuse. He has a deep laceration in his side that’s not received any treatment for seven days. No signs of infection yet. What should we give him?”

“I, uh, 30 grams of amoxicillin by mouth per day to prevent infection, 30 grams amadroxinol as needed not exceeding 5 doses in 24 hours for pain, or twenty CC’s of moxanadril injected subcutaneously. I don’t know what else he would need, I would need the doctor to advise me—“

“What do you have we could give him for anxiety?”

“Um, do you mean like generalized anxiety?”

“I need something to keep him calm during the procedure.”

“You’ll need an anesthesiologist if you intend to perform surgery…”

Razzmatazz interjects. “That wouldn't work on him. He ever tell you the shit he used to use? We’re better off asking Taurrage if he has cattle tranqs to take the edge off.”

Jay shoves the pharmacist. “Alright. You, go get the meds. Grab anything and everything you might even suspect could help us. And hurry up!”