I looked down at his face, his helmet was broken, covering only part of his jaw, and the rest of his face was battered, swollen to the point that I cannot even imagine what it looked like moments ago. The rest of his armor was shattered, so much so that even war-scavengers would have no use for it.
“You should be thankful to me, after all, I let you meet the Gods you so clearly love. You prayed to your Gods, you cried for them to save you, and they did nothing” I said.
I pulled my sword out of the young knight’s chest, and I put it back in its scabbard at my side. No matter where I look, the only thing I can see are corpses, countless corpses lying on the ground like a painting of death. Corpses of knights and soldiers everywhere, the ground now crimson, the sand stained with blood, my own hands stained with blood, my life stained with blood. I walked towards the beach, with my eyes directed at the horizon. The suns began to set, turning the sky into a beautiful red colour. I turned around once again to see mountains of corpses that were left on this beach. Corpses as far as I can see.
Suddenly, I heard a noise, a chant.
“For the glory of the Gods! For the glory of the Gods! For the glory of the Gods!”
There must be more than a hundred soldiers marching towards me, they must still be quite a distance away from me, but they were definitely closing in. I pulled my sword out of its sheath and gently stabbed the sand before my feet, holding the rough leather hilt with both of my hands.
I took a deep breath, inhaling all the decaying air of the hundreds of bodies before me, and I looked up. The suns have yet to fully set, but they will, and then they will rise once more, regardless of how much violence this world has seen. I lifted one hand and thought about grabbing the stars that have begun to faintly shine in the sky, but no matter how much I’d like to, I will never reach them.
But I will reach them. And I’ll kill them. I’ll kill them all.
I clenched my fist, my nails digging into my palms, and feeling the warm blood trickle down my wrist.
“Go on. Chant to your Gods. Call their names, ask them to lend you their strength. I will let you meet them tonight”.
I dropped my arm, and at the same time I looked down at the sand as a deep pain grew within my chest; the sand had lost its golden color and was now mixed with the blood of all the fallen soldiers. I cannot even imagine how many people I had to kill for the ground to change so much. I took another deep breath, and I looked up behind me. I could no longer see the suns, now being covered by giant boulders, engulfed in flames descending upon us.
It didn’t take long before I started to hear their screams filled with fear. There was nothing they could do, the meteor would fall down, and even more lives would end today.
This Island was now full of screams and prayers as they foresaw their inescapable death, and then I finally saw them, running as fast as they could, pushing against one another; I stood still in front of them, and the only thing they could do was run, some ran to the woods, trying to find cover in the trees, whilst others tried to reach the ocean, attempting to find safety in the water. They all saw me, many would stare at me as they ran, unable to do anything in this situation. But not a single one of them dared approach me. Despite being surrounded by them, I was still alone. Soon they would all die.
Then everything became black.
**********************
I woke up, clutching my necklace, unsure of what to make of this dream. As I began to properly come to, I could feel the cold sweat on my face and on my palms and I struggled to breath with each breath being extremely quick and shallow. Never had a dream felt so vivid, so real; all my movements, each action I took felt so familiar, as if I could do them now. I never had a dream like that. No. I shouldn’t call it a dream, it was more like a nightmare: a haunting vision of me on that island, in the midst of a battle, I had killed a lot of people, so many people, for reason unknown, and I was about to kill even more.
But I must admit that sword was beautiful, that much was undeniable; I wish I could have a sword like that. If I think about it, I can still feel its leather hilt in my hands, that feeling of power... of strength, it was intoxicating. That’s the strength I will need to become a Noble Knight.
As I got up, I couldn’t help but stare at my battered shoes, full of holes, and the sole half-off, wishing that for once I could just walk in the rain without my feet getting completely soaked, but I already know how difficult things are for my family, so there is no point in hoping for anything for now; hope is a luxury... another luxury we cannot afford. Maybe one day, when I’m a knight.
“Caine! Breakfast is ready” I heard my mother yell; I sighed as I already gave up hope that breakfast would be anything other than a single potato, but I can never say anything: the last time I tried to ask for some other food, the look my mother gave me broke my heart. I know we don’t have much, asking for something is nothing but a cruel reminder of our situation, but sometimes I just want something more.
I left my cramped room, and headed towards the kitchen where I my parents were waiting,. My father, with his huge frame, sat hunched over at the small table while my mother served breakfast with her usual grace.
My mother is a beautiful woman, she has long jet-black hair, and looks much younger compared to the other women in our village. Not to mention the fact that men always seem to go out of their way to talk to her whenever we go to the market. That’s always annoying. But I get it, she’s awesome, I love her, I love how kind she is, I love how much she always tries to spoil me, despite everything. We don’t have a lot of money, I lost count of how many times my parents refused to have dinner just so that I could eat something. I will never do anything to make her sad, and one day, I’ll give her the world.
“Morning Caine.” My mother told me as she pulled me into an embrace, kissing me on the forehead.
“Morning, mom.” I replied, hugging her back and kissing her on the cheek.
I sat at the table, opposite my father. My father... is something else. He is the complete opposite of my mother; where my mother looks delicate, he is rough, his hair and beard always seemed out of place, but my mother would always take her time combing through it, ensuring he looked presentable. Also, he is strong. Really strong. Every day he cuts down trees, and sells wood in our village, Arzamac. His arms are bigger than my head, and whenever something needs moving, he never seems to struggle. I remember how he used to pick me up and throw me in the air when I was younger; he would always throw me so high, my mother would just start shouting at him, telling him off for almost hurting me, but he never did. No matter how high he threw me, he always caught me.
A couple of months ago he gave me this necklace; it’s the first time they ever gave me a present. Sure, it was just some old necklace, rusty, and just looks like a chain, with an old ring attached to it, but it’s mine. It’s my little treasure.
“How many times have I told you to be more careful when you’re working? Do we need to have this conversation every single day?” My mother’s voice carried the usual mix of frustration and concern as she inspected my father’s wounds. And just like every morning I got to witness the same conversation again.
I sat at the kitchen table, and I saw a green light emanating from my mother’s hands. Healing magic. Some people are said to be able to use this magic, it’s supposed to be very rare; from what my parents told me, not much is known about healing magic, it doesn’t seem to be a different form of the other types of magic, although it doesn’t use ay of the existing elements.
From what I understand, the only magic that most people can use is fire, earth, water, and air magic, but the majority of people can only use one of those elements. I know my dad can use wind magic, although I’ve never seen him use it myself. I wonder if I will be able to use any magic at all. Earth magic would be practical. Or maybe fire, that would most definitely be useful as a knight. Summoning a meteor – that would be something. Or maybe I will be able to use healing magic like my mother.
Every day she goes to the village and heals people who in need, despite how badly they treat us. Magic is meant to be used to help people, Caine, never to hurt them; this is what she always said. But those people never try to help us in return. I understand and admire that she wants to do the right thing and help those people, but I can’t imagine myself doing the same in her place.
“What do you want to do today, Caine?” My mother asked me, her voice breaking my thoughts. “Going out to play with your friends?”
“Yes, we’re just going to play around today,” I lied. I don’t want to make her sad by telling her that I don’t have friends. How could I tell her that all those people that she loves to help are nothing but cruel and hateful to us, taking advantage of her kindness. The corners of her lips began to rise, her smile beaming, and this just makes it much easier to tell her a white lie to spare her feelings. I hate seeing her sad.
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“Don’t forget your chores, boy.” My father retorted, his deep voice almost attempting at sounding soft, uselessly. “You can go and play after you do what you are supposed to do”.
His face always looks so serious, his eyes always keeping me at a distance. I can’t help but wonder if he even loves me. He is just so different from mother, I can’t understand why, no matter what I do, he never lets me get close, and this just makes me so angry sometimes.
“Yes, father” I replied, a hint of annoyance slipping into my voice. “I will go after breakfast, and by the time I am finished, we will have lunch, and then I’ll go out. Is that ok or should I just stay home again today?”
“Watch your tone, Caine,” my mother scolded me, “he is your father, and you will respect him.”
“It's alright” my father replied, looking directly in my eyes, “he is growing up, he is bound to challenge me more often now.”
I couldn’t help but look down, feeling a mixture embarrassment and anger at their words. I am not disrespecting anyone; I just want some freedom. I want to spend a day without having to do these chores, I just want a day without feeling imprisoned in this village, where everybody seems to hate us, I just want to leave, go somewhere where people will not hate me or laugh at me for no reason. One day, when I grow up, I am going to become a knight, and then my parents will never have to work so hard, and we will be free.
I will make sure of it.
I quickly ate my breakfast, after all it was just a potato, and I went off to do my chores, hoping to go through them quickly: today I need to gather some firewood and collect some berries. I just need to go to the outer edges of The Forest and I hopefully should be done by lunch.
I let my parents know that was going to start my chores right away, and I hurriedly left, not wanting to be scolded anymore by them and ran off before they even had the opportunity to tell me anything. I ran outside the door and made my way to The Forest. Well, I say I made my way, but truthfully we lived awfully close to it. Too close if I were to believe the truth about that place. Before I even noticed, I reached the dense forest, the bright, green scenery just overwhelming my senses, the sight of the trees and its smell, so musty yet refreshing.
Though we live in Arzamac, we don’t actually live within the walls of the village, we live in a hut outside the walls, isolated from the rest of the village. We are very close to The Forest, and my mother has always made it a point to warn me not to enter The Forest, ever.
Despite asking both my parents why I need to be so wary of that place, I am still uncertain as to why exactly we can’t go in; all I know is that there are supposed to be some really aggressive animals, and once i overheard some people whispering about demonic beasts. Well, I never saw them anyway; they’re probably just trying to scare the children into not going into The Forest with tales of monsters. Yet everyone always seems to be wary of this place, even adults.
You could often hear some howls in the distance, deep within The Forest, but no matter how much attention I paid in the depth of it, I never saw anything. Only trees and more trees. Sometimes I wish I could use magic already, so that I could venture inside it, without having to worry about being attacked by anything, confident that I could just defend myself using a spell. Maybe if I was as strong as the man from my dream, I could go in there, and… no one would ever mess with my family.
It didn’t take long before I gathered enough firewood to last us the next few days, especially considering that we are in the middle of summer, the suns’ scorching heat ever present. The real challenge was gathering the berries: The Forest always has bitter berries, almost inedible, but there is one type of berry that is simply godly. Its bright red color, and its incredible sweetness are just perfect. Well... not to mention that my mother loves them. Though they are difficult to find, they joy they brought my mother made the effort worthwhile.
I ventured into The Forest, just barely, to find those berries, and once I gathered enough of them, I just put them into my pouch and ran away as soon as I heard a howl in the distance, valuing my life more than these berries, and before I knew it I was out of these woods, and I made my way home, my stomach grumbling, looking forward for lunch.
As soon as I was able to see the hut, I sprinted to it, eager to give my mother these berries, and just seeing her reaction, but as I walked into our home, my father was the only person inside.
“... Where’s mother gone?” I asked, awkwardly.
“She was called into the village, it seems some people got hurt today” he replied, his voice as emotionless as ever.
“...”
“She left some food for us. There’s stew, with some rabbit meat” he told me, removing the pot from the fireplace “put the firewood and the berries in the kitchen, in the storage units, and then we’ll eat”.
I nodded silently, and put the berries with the other berries I had gathered the previous day, and the firewood in its basket. I made my way into the kitchen, sitting at the table my father built many years ago, and watched him as he served me the stew, my portion larger than his.
“I am not really hungry today” he replied, almost as if he read my thoughts.
I glanced down, almost embarrassed at how easily he understood what I was thinking. It’s not the first time he ate less than mother and I just so that we would not starve. And now he was doing it again, eating less so that I would not go hungry.
“Thank you, Father.” I said, my voice barely a whisper.
He grunted in response as he began eating.
We sat down, eating in silence, a wall between us. I still cannot understand this enigma sitting across from me. He used to be so open and warm with me, but then something changed. He became distant, cold, and now he does not let me know him.
“You know, just because your mother likes those red berries, it does not mean that you need to go into The Forest so often,” my father broke the silence, his voice unexpectedly gentle.
I could feel myself go pale, scared of how he might react to knowing that I entered The Forest, and confused as to how he found out. I expected him to be angry, but his calm demeanour unsettled me even more. “I... I’m sorry.” I stammered scared to see his reaction.
“Don’t worry about it, boy. I know you’re being safe, and I know you won’t get hurt. Just make sure you don’t worry your mother” he replied to my silence, his tone reassuring yet distant.
Why doesn’t he care? I am his only son, and he doesn’t care that I am going into The Forest. I just can’t stand this anymore. I know I am not what he wanted his son to be, but I thought things would change eventually. I guess I was wrong.
I could feel myself getting angry at not being able to understand this man: he’s always reserved and neutral with me, almost as if he’s purely tolerating my presence for my mother’s sake, but then I would see him look at me with the same eyes my mother has when she looks at me. He looked so soft when he gave me this necklace, the way he just knelt to look directly in my eyes, the way he gently grabbed my shoulders and just put the necklace on me. It was only a few months ago, but it was the closest we have been in years.
The rest of our lunch was eaten in silence, the sound of the spoons hitting the bowls echoed lonely in our hut. I could no longer feel the awkwardness after some time, having come to the realisation that this is simply the extent of our father-son relationship, and that there is nothing more to it. I don’t think he hates me, we are just disconnected. Maybe one day, things will get better. All I can do is wait for that day.
My father waited for me to finish my stew, after which he stood when I set down the empty bowl, and walked over to me, putting his trembling hand on my shoulder, and he just looked at me. His touch surprised, feeling warm yet hesitant, this close proximity having become a foreign concept to me. I don’t know why but this felt different from every other interaction we ever had-, and then he just looked at the door to my bedroom, his gaze lingering on the door, almost as if he was holding back tears.
“I’ll clean up the dishes, my son. You can go out and play as much as you want.” he said, his voice almost cracking, and his eyes conveying some emotion foreign to me. My chest tightened at this sight, unsure of how to respond to the person standing before me.
I just listened to him, giving him my bowl and cup, and walked outside, my eyes constantly being drawn back to the hut, as I couldn’t shake completely confused by my father’s actions. This man barely talked to me the last few years except on some rare occasions, but the way he just acted now was so different from his usual self. He always has been strong, his tall and broad figure always towering over everybody in Arzamac, but now he seemed so… vulnerable.
“Caine!”
I heard someone shout my name. I looked towards the village, seeing my mother walk towards me, her cheerful attitude completely different from the scene I just witnessed at home.
She came up to me, nearly dropping herself to her knees, throwing her arms around me and pulling me into a tight hug, making it hard for me to breathe. I could tell that she was very tired, her back was sweaty – she probably overused her healing magic again, leaving her exhausted as usual. I really do wish she would stop overworking herself like this, especially for those ungrateful people.
“You know, I don’t think you know how much I actually love you.” She said, her arms still around me, squeezing the air out of me.
“M-mother… I can’t breathe," I managed to mumble, still struggling to breathe properly.
She let go, reluctantly, and just stared into my eyes for some time. Too much time, it felt like an eternity.
“Sorry about that, Caine, I just wanted to make sure that you knew that I love you a lot. Ok? Never forget that” she said, her voice as loving and cheerful as always.
After saying that, she just excused herself and headed home. I shook my head, wondering why my parents are so weird today; no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t even begin to try to ignore what just happened, but I tried to take my mind off of everything. Now what to do, i have a few hours to kill, so I chose to wonder around the village, hoping to find something to do; this way my mother will think I actually went out to play with ‘friends’.
The wooden walls of Arzamac came into view as I made my way into the village, and I noticed a crowd gather around the village square. Father had mentioned that some people had gotten hurt today, but the crowd seemed too large to have gathered for that.
The voices of the villagers grew louder and louder the closer I got to them, and then the crowd seemed to split, making way for someone.
As I tried to push my way in, to see what was happening, I bumped into something hard, which made me fall to the ground. I looked up and saw shining armor. A knight. Behind him three other knights in armor stare at me.
A party of knights came to Arzamac.