Zu Mari regretted ever meeting Master Elvanis.

“Hold it until I return. Do not let it falter for an instant.”

Zu held the slab of stone above his head as long as he could, hours and hours, until he’d dropped to his knees and bent his back and rested it against one wall to aid him in keeping it off the ground. Zu was strong, but the stone was big enough to be the foundation to a small house, and even with the help of his phoenix he could not hold it up forever.

Master Elvanis did not return.

He'd watched Zu struggle for most of an hour as he tried to find again the trickle of power in the spirit pool, asking him occasional questions, then abruptly decided they were trying something else first.

The stone drooped lower and lower as Zu’s arms trembled and shook unbearably. He felt the vibrations as the stone screeched against the wall and slid down inexorably toward the floor. He knew he should adjust his hold to keep it up, but he simply had no strength left.

Zu collapsed, and the stone fell to the ground—

“Weak.” Master Elvanis was suddenly there, standing above, robes flowing as though in a stiff breeze.

An instant of crippling fear and searing heat—

Zu stumbled, his limbs full of phantom exhaustion as he collapsed against the prisoner ahead of him. For a moment he couldn’t understand. Why had the loop reset? He couldn’t have overstrained himself to death, that wasn’t a thing. Especially not to someone as strong as him.

Master Elvanis dropped from above, Zu’s bonds vanishing to nothing at a glance. Before his captors could even speak, Zu was dragged off the platform and into the air.

“Your body is nothing,” the boy said as they flew. “Your spirit is what must be strong. Some things cannot be taught. Stop trying to solve things with your muscles.”

Master Elvanis dropped him into the room without a ceiling, then tossed the massive stone slab on top of him. “Hold it until I return. Do not let it falter for an instant.”

Zu barely caught the stone, wobbling precariously close to the floor before he adjusted his grip, balancing it properly.

What kind of self-contradictory advice was that? 'Stop using your muscles, but hold this heavy thing'... this was the sort of cryptic nonsense Zu would have expected from his family's library, not an actual master of powers capable of even restoring a cripple to strength.

He held the stone for hours, but his strength was no greater than it had been the first time. As soon as the stone touched the ground, Master Elvanis appeared. In a moment of fear and pain, the loop reset again.

Master Elvanis was killing him each time he failed, Zu realized, burning him alive in an instant with those emerald flames as he had done the first time around to the captives who displeased him.

The understanding that he was being systematically and repeatedly killed for being anything but perfect did not diminish his need for the knowledge and power Master Elvanis possessed. It only made him more determined. If Master Elvanis demanded absolute perfection, Zu would demand nothing less of himself.

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Zu would die a thousand times if that was what it took to become stronger, to never again have to listen to the whispers of pity and derision, of cripple and weak.

Yet still his arms trembled as he held the stone slab above his head. Same as he had done every day for so long.

Countless days, countless resets of the same hours, weeks and months meaningless beneath the weight of repetition, and every time he failed in the end. The stone grew too heavy for him to bear any longer, and Master Elvanis came to end him and begin the training over again. Sometimes he didn't even realize the stone had slipped, there were times he would have sworn he'd kept it up the whole time but the loop reset anyway.

“Master, please, tell me. What am I supposed to learn?” Zu finally asked as they flew, his pride eroded under so many repetitions of the same test, so many failures. “I do not understand.”

“What you must learn is for you to learn, not for me to teach.”

“But, Master, surely there is some other way.”

“I have many matters to attend to. You have great potential, but that is all. This is a simple enough test. Until you can prove yourself, you do not deserve any more from me.” He dropped Zu into his prison, tossed the stone slab to him, then flew away.

Zu grunted and jumped to catch the slab at the perfect angle, balancing it evenly on his hands so it didn’t so much as wobble. He’d learned this much about it, the weight of it, where it would shift if left to itself. One end was thicker and heavier than the other, so he had to catch it just right.

But apart from memorizing the exact dimensions of this one specific slab of stone, what did Master Elvanis expect from him?

Use your spirit, not your body. But he was already using his spirit to sustain himself, his phoenix was the only reason he could hold up the giant stone for as long as he did.

"I don't suppose you have any wisdom for me, Smoke of Progression?"

His godsword did not deign to respond, and Zu missed Fire Twilight Death. At least his first sword would answer when spoken to. It may be cryptic nonsense, but at least it was something. Smoke of Progression was too independent for Zu's liking.

"Any suggestions, Luja Ni?"

"I cannot aid you," she whispered sadly. "If I end the loop, it would be your death forever, and I cannot let that happen. I have no other power."

"Can you learn something new, or are you trapped forever in the same state?"

"I can obtain knowledge, but I cannot change my nature. I am sorry. If there were any way to save you, I would."

"You've already saved me, and continue doing so every day." Zu grunted as the wind blew across them in a sharp gust and shifted his hands, rebalancing the stone before the wind could knock it from his precarious hold. "Phoenix? You ready to talk yet?"

It was not, and remained stubbornly silent.

For a time, he stretched out his awareness, straining along the impossibly distant threads connecting his soul to another world where Fire Twilight Death, Death Shadow, and Little Otter still waited for him, but he could not reach them.

For a time he thought of nothing, breathing steadily as his body slowly weakened beneath the crushing weight. His body was no stronger now than it had been a hundred or a thousand repetitions ago, being reset along with everything else when the loop began anew.

That much, at least, he understood. This was not training his physical strength, but what he was meant to be learning escaped his understanding.

At first, he'd tried coming up with lessons from each iteration of the trial, but it was clear whatever Master Elvanis wanted was deeper than some drab platitude.

Some lessons cannot be taught. They must be learned.

What was he supposed to learn?

The wind gusted again, and he shifted instinctively to keep the slab of stone balanced. But he knew that wasn't the answer. When he knew every variation of the weather as well as he knew the weight and balance of the stone, still it wouldn't be enough. It wasn't the physical world that failed him, it wasn't his memory of events, it was his body.

Was there a technique to strengthen his body with his spirit? Was he meant to develop such a technique? Perhaps this wasn't a test of being but of doing.

The stone finally tipped, brushing the floor despite Zu's best efforts to hold it up, and Master Elvanis killed him, and he began again.

His spirit burned stubborn and unrelenting. He would not give up until he learned whatever it was he was meant to learn. Regardless of how long it took.

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