It had not been a good day for Zu Mari.

Things started as they always did, cold and tired and overworked. "Zu, sweep the porch." "Zu, feed the cows." "Zu, don't forget to eat your vegetables."

Endless tedium. He knew even then he was destined for greater things, but what form those greater things would take...

In those days, he'd still imagined he could do something. Even if he'd been relegated to uselessness in cultivation, even if he'd never be a great sorcerer or master swordsman, he could still learn. He could still fight. He could still grow strong.

So he had endured the morning with the frustrated patience of resignation. He had nowhere else to go, no one else who would take him in. Even if he fled to the beast clans that surrounded Mari lands, what could he offer them but a victim? At least his family had to provide for him. He wouldn't starve, he would have a roof over his head.

It was a miserable sort of future he saw laid out before him, but what else could he do?

After cleaning up the lunch things, he trudged out to the training yards to belatedly join the practice with his many cousins. Their teacher, Uncle Curi, didn't care for Zu, but he at least had enough pity in his cold heart not to deny him training. If this was the only thing Zu could do to improve himself, then he would be allowed to.

"Running today," called out Cousin Soni, as he jogged past. "Twenty times around the compound."

"We're already on seven," bragged Cousin Lu. "Better run quick if you want to finish before midnight."

Zu stretched, checked to be sure his robe was secured properly, then hurried after them. At twelve, he was still an uncertain child, not yet grown into himself or confident enough to stand up for what was his right.

He could imagine his hem slipping, tripping him up in the middle of the muddy track. He could imagine falling and ruining his robe, earning not only the mockery of his peers and an eternal stain on his honor, but the look of judgment in the eye of Aunt Moni. As the one responsible for raising and protecting Zu for many years, she held a terrifying power over his future. The Mari clan would not banish him, but Aunt Moni could make him wish they had.

He trotted around the compound, the faster runners passing him as they jogged steadily, their breathing coming in smooth patterns. Zu could all but feel the mythic power they used to empower their bodies and strengthen their will. But for him, there was no inner strength to augment his more mundane talents. No circulating energy of the cosmos to ease his sore legs.

Before long, the slower runners started passing him too, then the faster ones for a second time. By the time Zu had finished his fourth circuit, some of the faster ones were already done completely and moving to the training yard for cool down exercises.

Zu looked longingly at them, watching the smiles and praises given out by Uncle Curi, envy growing ever stronger in his lonely empty heart.

He'd almost finished the tenth circuit by the time the youngest of his cousins, little Cousin Temi, finished his final round of the compound and walked in to get a drink and something to eat.

Dinnertime was upon them. Zu longed for the warmth and the food, but even then his will was strong. He could have stopped; his circuits were not assigned or enforced, no one would slap him if he simply chose to walk away. But he had his pride. If they could do it, he would do it too. Twenty times around and not a step less.

Darkness fell as he ran, slower now, his energy spent and his body weary. He moved mechanically, wearily, his breath coming in uneven gasps as he tried to get enough air to satisfy him.

The lights dimmed in the dining hall, people long since departed, cleaning underway. He would have a fine stack of dishes waiting for him when he returned to the indoors, and likely not much in the way of dinner, but he refused to give up.

Who needed dinner? He could survive it. He would be strong. Perhaps if his family saw how hard he worked, how willing he was to suffer whatever was necessary, they'd come to respect him even if he couldn't cultivate.

Seventeen. Three more to go.

The sky was fully dark, the compound's lights glittering invitingly. Warm. The wind chilled Zu's ears and fingers, even as the rest of him sweated profusely from the exertion. His mouth felt parched. Tears tried to claw their way up his throat.

Why was he so much weaker than everyone else? Why was he so slow? So pathetic? It wasn't fair. He worked just as hard as any of them. Harder than most. He stayed up late into the night to finish all the chores they couldn't be bothered with, woke early to do necessary preparations, and still ran himself ragged in the physical practices that were still open to him.

"Do you think this is his first circuit, or his second?" Cousin Lu's voice sent a shiver down Zu's back. While Lu could be civil whenever any adults were watching, he'd been Zu's nemesis since the day he was born.

"Second," answered Cousin Kuna. Zu saw them now, perched on the top rail of the compound fence. Kuna was kicking her feet casually, while Lu had his tucked under another rail as he leaned forward. "I'm sure I saw him go past this tree once already."

"He's getting faster, then," said Cousin Lu, sounding shocked. "Keep going, Zu! Maybe in another decade you'll manage to actually finish before morning."

"He'll be finished before then," said Cousin Kuna. For a moment Zu thought she may have changed, may have noticed his hard work and recognized that he deserved respect. "I bet he gives up before moonrise."

Zu's heart dropped. He pushed his tired legs to move a little faster, just so he could get past their section of fence and go back to running in peace. Alas, no such luck. They hopped off the fence and began jogging along beside him.

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"Say, Zu," began Cousin Lu, "have you been eating much lately?"

Zu scowled. "What business is it of yours?"

Lu laughed, and Kuna giggled.

Zu tried to ignore them.

"I told you, he's getting fat and lazy," Lu whispered, loudly enough that Zu couldn't help but overhear.

His face burned with rage, fists clenching. He wanted nothing more than to turn and punch his arrogant nemesis in his fat face. Zu, fat? If anything, Zu was too thin. He worked so much and missed so many meals, he barely had any excess anywhere on his body. Tears forced their way to his eyes, but he blinked them back. He would not show weakness. And he wouldn't let them trick him into stopping without finishing.

Halfway. Two and a half left, and he'd be done.

"I think you're right," said Cousin Kuna, once she'd gotten over her giggling fit, though her voice still danced with laughter. "He's definitely looking weaker and flabbier than before."

Zu didn't have the energy to retort, even if he could think of anything to say. Somehow, any retort he came up with always turned out to be the wrong thing to say.

If he said 'You're lying,' then Cousin Lu would challenge him to an honor duel and pound his face into the mud for daring to besmirch his name, regardless of how truthful the claim was. If he said 'I eat less in a day than you do in a single meal," then... Zu's imagination failed him, but he knew it would be something scathing and hurtful and probably true.

That was what hurt most. At least calling him fat was something Zu could almost convince himself was untrue.

Calling him weak, useless, a drain on the clan resources, a worthless cripple? Those he couldn't even pretend to deny. However much he wanted to.

Let them have their lies. At least that gave him something he could deny to himself.

It didn't make it hurt any less right now though. And he wondered... maybe they were right. Maybe circulating power and cultivating your spirit burned more energy. Maybe Zu was getting fat, maybe he was lazy. He only did chores and physical exercises, after all. They also spent hours in meditation, guiding power through their meridians and channels. They practiced secret spells, wove magic, controlled the elements. They had weapons of power that responded to their will.

What did Zu have?

He stumbled on, forced to listen to their petty insults. At one point, Cousin Lu ran along ahead, arms flapping wildly as he mimicked Zu's way of running with exaggerated mockery, throwing his feet out in leaping bounds that made him look exactly as ridiculous as he intended.

Cousin Kuna laughed and laughed, pointing between Lu and Zu, and Zu self-consciously tried to keep his strides more constrained.

It didn't help. Nothing ever did.

Nineteen. "One more," he whispered to himself. One more. Then he could retreat inside where he'd be safe. Aunt Moni may not care much for him, but Lu and Kuna wouldn't dare say any of these things in front of her. They knew her wrath as well as anyone. She was not one to be underestimated.

"Hurry up, Zu," shouted Cousin Lu in false encouragement. "You can do better than that!"

"I don't think he can."

Zu could barely keep moving, entirely exhausted. Only pride kept him putting one foot after the other. He wanted to push faster, put on a burst of speed to show them he could do better, but he'd used his second wind long since, and his third and fourth too. He had nothing left now, nothing but stubbornness.

They soon tired of being false friends and went back to calling him fat. He didn't know where this new line of mockery had come from, it wasn't something they'd tried against him before, but it still did its intended job. He still felt shamed and lesser. Questioned himself. Questioned his life.

More than anything, he wanted to be free of them. Free of all of it. The expectations, the disappointment, the mocking, the pitying looks, the whispers, the jibes, all of it.

"Fat piggy shouldn't try to run like that," cackled Cousin Kuna, and Zu had less than a moment for dawning realization before it was too late. Cousin Lu crouched, caught Zu's advancing leg in one hand, and effortlessly flipped Zu face first into the mud, flawlessly using his own momentum against him.

Zu splattered into the wet muck, his robe ruined, his nose bruised and bleeding, mud in his eyes and mouth and tears he could no longer hold back streamed down his face.

"I HATE YOU!" Zu screamed, shaking with rage. "I hate you, I hate this world, I hate all of it!" He ran into the woods, away from the compound, away from them, away from anything or anyone, and their mocking laughter followed him even when they were left far, far behind.

As soon as he was away, Zu slumped to the ground and sobbed in fury.

It wasn’t enough. Futile and meaningless.

So he sat and submerged himself in anger, focused and returned to his mental place, so carefully created as a monument to being a Mari. Screaming his helpless rage he tore it apart, piece by piece. He dragged down walls painstakingly constructed over years, until his hands were bloody and raw. He slammed his fists into the tiled floor again and again, tears streaming as he shouted defiance to the world he'd created.

“I’m done with this world!” Zu screamed. “If I have to punch my way to the heavens just to be free of this place, then that’s what I’ll do!”

He’d never gone back. The next day, he’d skipped training and returned to the forest instead, where no one would judge him or mock him or pity him, where he could train in his way and work out the constant frustrations of his life against trees that didn’t fight back.

And now, over a dozen years later, the ruins of that mental refuge remained to this day. The shattered room a testament to his resolve.

It made him smile; it made him burn with all the feelings he'd suppressed for so long. It made him proud of his younger self, proud of the person he'd made himself into, and proud of how far he'd come.

But there was still further to go. He thought he'd forgiven. He thought he'd moved on.

Now, he realized, he hadn't. He'd still been stuck, and his forgiveness was one of necessity rather than honesty.

He did not forgive his family. He may have forgotten their wrongs against him, may have suppressed the memory of what had been done to him back in those days of weakness and helplessness, but Fire Twilight Death was right.

They hadn't accepted him. They never had changed their minds. The Protagonist Fragment had changed their minds, forcing them to see reason, but it wasn’t real. It didn’t truly matter. It wasn’t they who’d accepted him, but the power Zu had earned with his sweat and blood and endless resolve against helpless circumstances. The Protagonist Fragment had chosen him, of all the people in the world.

His family hadn’t chosen him for anything. Not even once. Not for anything but pain and criticism. He would never be accepted, whatever he did.

And now he finally saw that he didn't want to be.

He didn't need them. Let them have Little Cousin Lisi or whoever her name was, let them grow complacent and weak. Let them slowly die out as they left their ancient ways and became a shell of their former glory.

Mari. Too long had he let them define who he was, and who he could not be.

In that moment, Zu understood. Ozyri Tori hadn't been mad after all. Zu should have joined him, should have aided him, should have turned him into an ally. Ozyri knew what it felt like to be rejected by your family, to be outcast and underestimated.

Ozyri had the right idea all along.

Zu had been an idealistic fool. How could he have imagined that he knew another's heart? Another's purpose? He had been wrong to stand in Ozyri's way, wrong to steal his future and offer no recompense.

Zu's teeth ground together painfully, so tight was his jaw clenched.

He would avenge Ozyri Tori, and he would avenge himself. Once he grew strong enough to annihilate the Green Flame and burn this city to the ground, he would return home and do the same to the Mari, the Chartreuse Cougars, the Tori. Any who stood in his way would burn.

His eyes snapped up to Master Elvanis, meeting the clear unreadable gaze, a lust for vengeance roiling within him.

Master Elvanis slowly smiled.

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