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The Unluckiest Main Character Ever
Chapter 1.3 - Oftentimes help is a charity, this isn't one of those times

Chapter 1.3 - Oftentimes help is a charity, this isn't one of those times

Chapter 1.3

Kyousuke sat against a tree, the goddess' face pressed against his - her? - chest as she inhaled through her nose. If anyone else was in Kyousuke's position, they would be delighted. Instead Kyousuke's mind wondered as the goddess passionately sniffed her naked body; the hand had said something about ascending to godhood then--? Kyousuke was rudely pulled out of her thoughts as the goddess began sniffing a more... intimate area.

What was that? It's distracting, please stop.

Failing at verbally deterring the goddess, mainly because of her lack of vocal cords, Kyousuke began to push the woman away from her, or at least tried to - the goddess proved to be a lot stronger than she looked, as she simply pushed Kyousuke's arms away and pinned them to her sides as she pressed her face deeper towards the poor girl's neck. As a boy, Kyousuke had no idea how sensitive the neck was and it came as a surprise to her when she shuddered from the goddess' contact. Moreover, Kyousuke had always disliked physical contact and that hadn't changed even when his body had. Attempting to force the goddess away again, this time Kyousuke used her legs to kick her in the stomach.

"Ow!" The kick had done the job and Kyousuke quickly took advantage of the opening and started to sprint at full speed away from the woman, eager to avoid the goddess' skinship forever. Unfortunately for Kyousuke, she had conveniently forgotten that the goddess could teleport.

"There you are!" Kyousuke looked up to discover that a woman had fallen from the sky onto her, except this woman looked way too similiar to the one adamant to make love to her in a forest just moments before. Kyousuke felt a sudden shudder, as if she was in her death throes.

Shit.

"Eh? Did you say something?" The goddess looked positively confused, "I thought your voice was sealed?"

It is. I don't seem to be talking.

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An unfathomable distance away, the AUTHOR chuckled to himself.

"Now that I think about it, his - or should it be her? - original character did have that ability, they just needed to be under some life-threatening situation for it to awaken." The AUTHOR seemed even more amused now, "Getting sniffed by Zani counts as a life-threatening situation!?"

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The goddess suddenly inspected Kyousuke with some thought, "You're a psion? Now that's unusual... Only the Deep Elves are able to develop such abilities through strict discipline, yet here you are. A human psion."

This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

Ok, save the explaination for later please? Can you get off me now? Having a woman pin a teenage boy to the ground in a forest seems less than appropriate if someone walks by.

"But you're a girl."

That makes it worse. Also just because I smell nice doesn't mean you can rape me, please get off me.

"Oya! You read my mind didn't you?" The goddess complied and stood up, leaving Kyousuke on the ground wheezing for breath as she was immediately relieved of the twin hills of death that were the goddess' bosom.

Who are you?

Kyousuke eyed the goddess warily, not that it wasn't nice to look at her though; a curvy hourglass body hid under loose fitting robes which managed to impressively fulfill their purpose to the barest minimum, her skin shone with a healthy radiance and her waist-length green hair that was tied in a complicated braid fell over one shoulder. She quite literally defined the term 'made to have fun' not even mentioning her impulsive behaviour, despite this though, the goddess' lilac eyes had a sharp intelligence to them. Clearly there was more than one side to scent-crazed, air-headed goddess.

"Záni, goddess of drunkards and alcohol, at your service!"

I should've guessed, what with the huge goblet and all... I think the better question would be why the goddess of alcohol is so persistent about seeing a floating hand?

"That's a long story, that would be less than pleasant to hear, well for you at least. Damn! That was the best night of my life!"

Yeah... I think it'd be better if you kept that story to yourself.

A few images of a large floating hand making love to Zani, some in very scandalous fashion, flashed through Kyousuke's mind briefly. The goddess merely laughed, clearly she knew what Kyousuke was thinking.

"That aside, I'd like to know your name in return!"

It's Kyousuke.

"What an unusual name for a girl..." The chipper goddess slyly provoked Kyousuke by reminding her of her change in gender, she had noticed the unusual ways that Kyousuke reffered to herself.

Just so I make it clear, I still consider myself a boy.

Kyousuke immediately felt that she kind of disliked Zani, as rare as such a thing was for her. More importantly, her reply had been an indication for the goddess in question to tease Kyousuke further,

"But you're so pretty!"

Hmph.

"Your hair is so silky and your skin is so smooth and fair!" Zani cooed with mirth, "Your body is so slender and your face is oh so beautiful!"

Please do yourself a favor and go die in a corner.

"Now that was uncalled for."

Irate at being reminded of her currently naked status, she went and demanded that the goddess give her something to wear to compensate for her actions and was presented with a rich red robe. Suspicious that the goddess had caved in so easily, Kyousuke was sure that there was a catch and hesitated to put it on,

There's a catch, isn't there?

"You're quite sharp aren't you? I did want another go at your body..."

... If I let you do that, will you make me a deity? That would be really convenient for me.

"Unfortunately not. Nice try though, I actually considered that for a moment." Seeing Kyousuke's somewhat downcast expression though, she relented, "I will point you in the right direction though."

Really? That would be appreciated.

Maybe she wasn't as bad as she had first come off, Kyousuke thought with a smile on her face.

"First things first, get on the ground." Kyousuke's rare smile disappeared twice as fast as it had appeared.

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The AUTHOR watched on in sympathetic silence as Zani ferociously touched and nuzzled Kyousuke all over, somehow it reminded him of his own experience with Zani just with less alcohol.

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Kyousuke limped towards the nearest tree, she felt her male mentality shatter somewhere in the deep confines of her mind... Zani leaned against a nearby tree, face blissfully blank as she drooled puddles onto the forest floor.

Can I have those tips now?