Chapter 1.1

Perhaps it was the countless eternities spent failing to create any interesting legends, or maybe it was the fact that finding a lead character that wasn't plain-as-dough or boring-as-fuck was getting increasingly harder, regardless, all one needed to know that the AUTHOR was royally pissed. As the creator of all the legends of the universe, the AUTHOR was an extremely powerful being that could, at their fancy, disturb or destroy a reality to progress their story. In spite of this, the AUTHOR had not produced a satisfactory story in nigh on three millenia.

"Maybe the main character shouldn't be grossly over powered? Maybe I should make it harder for the hero? The gods keep complaining about how stiff and mundane the hero's daily life is..."

Just then an epiphany was bestpowed upon the AUTHOR: instead of fine-tuning every detail in the story, they would let the main character find their own way through their own trials, all they had to do was make those trials...

----------------------------------------

Kyousuke woke with a start. Another bad dream, something like getting confessed to by a guy again... what a tasteless joke... You see, Kyousuke was in fact a guy - Fifteen years old and far too emotionless for his age - who by chance was born with some slightly effeminate features usually not found in boys. If one had to describe how he looked, they would say that Kyousuke was a boy who teetered on the edge of womanhood, with his smaller stature, softer facial features and leaner build. Unfortunately for those who wished to confess to him, Kyousuke very much viewed himself as a straight guy, so any cry of,

"Please go out with me!" 

From any boy was usually denied with,

"I'm a guy."

The conversation would then transition, rather oddly, to,

"Ehh? Are you sure? Whatever, love transends all barriers!"

"I'm straight."

Then the conversation would end with Kyousuke judo-flipping the over-enthusiastic guy onto the ground, probably breaking a bone... or ten. Surprisingly this also made him very popular with the girls too, who Kyousuke didn't mind the company of seeing as they weren't contantly trying to confess to him. Consequently this lead to more people think Kyousuke was a girl as they always dragged him around the place, making him quite immune to their charms. Personally Kyousuke didn't mind, he had grown quite accustomed to his way of life and felt that it was probably inevitable that he would be mistaken for a young girl for a majority of his life. Certainly nothing would disturb his relatively peaceful life, he thought as he closed the door to the dorm behind him. What an apathetic person.

----------------------------------------

Thin shadows grew from the bases of the bare plum trees, cast by the ambient glow of the morning sun as Kyousuke walked to his family's inn. Small puffs of breath burst into the air, disappating as quickly as they had been formed. Halfway there, Kyousuke was met with a familiar sight, his childhood friend Issei.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

"Yo, Kyou-chan~, how ya doin'? Any boys confess lately?"

"Oh. It's just Issei-san." Kyousuke's languid reply propted Issei to try a different topic,

"Wai! You're too formal Kyou-kun, how're you gonna get a girlfriend at this rate?

"I don't need one."

"But wouldn't having a girlfriend show that you're a man?"

"Oh look, we've arrived."

"Hey! Stop trying to change the topi-- Wait up!"

Kyousuke took this chance to dash ahead of Issei and cut off the conversation. It was at this point Kyousuke began to notice something weird was going on with his surroundings, like reality was being rapidly torn apart and squashed together all at once. Before long, all that was left was the ground he was standing on and all around him was an infinite expanse of white void... winter must be pretty bad up north, he thought.

"Dammit! You're too fast Kyou-" Issei had frozen mid-sentence,

"Oya! I only needed one but a second one got caught up in my search? I'll have to delete it I guess..." A large hand that suddenly appeared floating a few metres above Kyousuke had somehow begun to talk.

"The fuck?" Kyousuke looked at the hand blankly,

"Eh, you can still talk?"

"Yeah. More importantly what's that about deleting my friend?" The hand paused for a moment and somehow assumed a thoughtful look, even though that was technically impossible,

"Hmm... You're an interesting little thing aren't you... Never assumed a character would develop true sentience. How about I strike you a deal then? Seeing as you'll be quite an interesting subject..." The booming voice of the hand, which was the voice of the AUTHOR, had taken on a more business-like tone all of a sudden; it had found a potentially interesting character for the lead role. "I won't delete your friend if you agree to my conditions."

"What makes you think I'll just agree?"

"The fact that I have your friend under a forced coma, also that I'm technically the closest thing that you're gonna get to a god in this situation, so I could force you to listen - not that it makes much of a difference."

"Good point."

The hand then hovered close to Kyousuke, as if inspecting him with it's non-existant eyes, "Listen close little mortal, I'm giving you a huge bargain. You get to remake part of the universe, anything at all."

"Then I'd like my friend back?"

"Aaand he's wasted his choice." The hand seemed to grin smugly, Kyousuke could feels waves of mischief and potential havoc roll off the hand, like the type found when a baby is left with a chainsaw-blowtorch hybrid, "Well, you asked for it, just don't regret it."

The hand put it's thumb against it's middle finger and snapped them together, a bright flash emitted from the hand and Issei opened his eyes then spasmed uncontrolably and fell limp to the floor.

"What did you do?" Kyousuke looked at Issei who lay twitching on the ground, mouth foaming, his apparent concern being overshadowed by his seemingly unconcerned mannerisms.

"I did what you asked, never mentioned that a being without true sentience can't comprehend a nanosecond of my realm without frying their brain to a crisp, did I?" it was at this point Kyousuke realized that he had been scammed, by God. "Did you ever read the T&C's? Cause those are about to make things so much more interesting for you!"

"Oh shit."