Kint sat in the smoking room at The Overwatch.

His emotions were locked far away, The Silent State clutched tight around him.

There was a low hum of conversation as Overseers puffed and talked.

Every so often, men and women would throw disdainful or disgusted glances his way.

The Overseer’s dirty looks had no effect on him, however, he was above them, his mind beyond them.

Kint stared at his hands. They were calloused and dry. White flecks of skin flaked away as he rubbed them together.

He needed the Silent State today. Not for its power, but for the cold. The comfort of unshakeable quiet.

“Kint.”

The words came muffled through his mind.

“Kint.”

He looked up.

It was Grayson. His bright gray eyes staring into Kint’s own, concerned.

Grayson was always concerned, always empathetic. Always everything that Kint was not.

Orton Jolly stood behind him with a more guarded expression.

His two greatest friends from the Academy… His only friends from the Academy…

His only friends at all.

Why had they come?

Kint’s chest tightened.

He grimaced, fleeing deeper into the Silence.

The two men pulled up chairs in front of him, faces solemn.

“We’ve struck a deal with Serdon.” Grayson stated.

Even in the depths of the Silent State, the Dowser couldn’t keep his teeth from grinding at the name.

The Scepter’s frown deepened.

“He’s willing to spare the girl. On account of your… Exemplary service.”

Kint looked at the man, confused.

The girl?

“But there’s one caveat.” Grayson continued, taking in a breath. “You have to be the one to do it.”

Kint’s eyes widened. The Silent State shook.

“I have to do it?” He questioned.

The Scepter nodded.

Cracks began to form in his frigid mind.

What was happening?

How could they do this?

There was a ringing in his ears

How could they do this to him?

The Silent State shook. It warped, threatening to break the quiet, release the chaos.

An idea came to him, a cold calculation only altered mind could create.

“What about the girl?”

Grayson opened his mouth to respond, then stopped, confused.

“What–What girl?” He stammered.

“What do you mean? Nessa?” Jolly cut in, confused.

Kint nodded.

“Will they take her instead?” He asked.

Orton leaned back, shocked. A look of disgust growing on his face.

“You fuckin–”

The Scepter raised a hand, stopping his bearded companion.

Grayson met Kint’s eyes, understanding and pity marking his face.

“It has to be Carolin.” He said.

The Dowswer slumped back in his chair.

It has to be her…

but…

His mind froze. He could not process it. It was too much.

“You have to cleanse her, Kint.” Grayson repeated, solemn. “It’s the only way.”

Slowly…

Kint’s vision blurred.

His hand shook, cheeks twitching.

“I’m sorry, Kint… It has to be her.”

The Dowsers fist clenched, as the Silent State reasserted itself.

Kint nodded.

He needed to move forward, he needed to keep going… like he always had.

“Right…” He muttered, thoughts beginning to move.

Kint met the eyes of his old friends.

“Right. I’ll do it.”

----------------------------------------

Kint stood at the door, knife gripped in his sweaty palm.

He’d been there for over a minute.

There was no Silent State, no comfort, no quiet.

The altered state, his separate self… It would not come.

The Dowswer gritted his teeth till his ears began to ring.

His mind roared with an indecipherable chaos of emotions.

He took a breath, grabbing the doorknob tight.

“Hello!”

An excited voice called as he entered.

Kint shuddered at the sound. Unable to reply.

He took solemn steps down the hall, into the living area.

The room was cold. The sunlight stained gray as it passed through the Shroud outside.

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

The whole world was gray.

He turned the corner.

There she was.

Raven hair, pale skin, slender body swaying in a light blue dress.

Carolin wore a white apron as she cut vegetables on the kitchen counter.

She turned to face him, a smile gracing her freckles cheeks.

Their eyes met.

Her smile faded.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, concerned.

Kint swallowed.

Voices raged inside his head.

They told him to leave, they told him to take her away, far away from here…

He begged, reaching again for the Silent State, but it would not come.

“There’s an Erasure Crew on the way.” He said, voice shaking with pain.

His wife's brow furrowed, as her eyes caught sight of the knife in his hand.

She would fight him, she would excoriate him, she would run.

That’s all the Dowser wanted. For her to make a choice. To free him of the one he was making now.

“Who?” Was all she said.

Kint felt a lance of pain cut through his heart.

He knew what she was asking.

“Lizell and Don.”

Carolin cocked her head.

“But, we were just with them a month ago.” She questioned. “You dowsed them. They were clean.”

He shook his head.

“It’s not that.”

Understanding found her.

“Don?” She asked.

He nodded.

“Couldn’t hold his bloody temper.” She spat.

Kint nodded again.

As always, his wife had put things together far quicker than he ever could.

“Which Lord?” She asked.

“Seldon.”

Carolin took in a breath, closing her eyes.

She knew what that meant. She knew what kind of man Lord Seldon was, and thus, she knew what Kint’s next words would be.

“They’re taking the full Fifth.” His voice shook as he said the words.

His heart shook, as he watched her eyes widened in fear.

“Ella and Barton?” She questioned.

“Already gone.”

His wife put a hand to her mouth, eyes welling with tears.

Tightness gripped his chest. He didn’t know what to say, or how to comfort her.

He never had, always relying on her to guide him.

The Dowser remained silent, watching as the tears fell and she slowly came to grips with reality.

Eventually, she nodded.

“So, that’s it.” She whispered, meeting his eyes. “We’ll all go together then.”

Kint shook his head, face contorting in anguish.

“No–” His voice shuddered.

He swallowed.

“Just you.”

She straightened, eyes widening in shock.

“Just me…” She whispered, shocked.

Then relief washed over her.

“How?”

“Grayson.” Kint replied.

Carolin shook her head.

“Bless that man.” She smiled. “Always stepping up… I hate him.”

Kint let out a laugh, tears streaking down his face.

He couldn’t help it, they’d always hated each other.

“There he is.” She said, smiling.

Carolin turned around, untying her apron and hanging it on a peg by the stove.

He watched her as she moved, drinking in her every wrinkle and curve. It pained him to do it, but it would have killed him not to.

Kint didn’t know what love was. He’d never felt what was written in the stories. He didn’t know if he had the capacity for it.

But he needed this woman.

He knew that.

He was nothing without her.

“We can escape.” Kint pleaded. “We can run.”

She shook her head, giving him a reproving look.

“No we can’t, you know that.”

“We can–”

“Kint.” She cut him off. “We will do our part, as we always have.”

She stared at him, face hard, determined.

He looked away, blinking tears from his eyes.

There was no arguing with her when her eyes got like that.

She approached, steadily, reaching out. She grabbed his wrists, bringing them together so both his hands gripped the knife.

“Come on.” She soothed, holding his attention.

She raised his hands.

Horror gripped Kint’s heart as his wife placed the knife against her chest.

He met her eyes, tears flowing.

“I can’t do this without you. I–I can’t do anything.”

She put a hand to his cheek, pity in her eyes.

“It’s okay.” She soothed, caressing his face. “Nessa will be here. Let her guide you.”

The tears fell, chaos reigned in his mind, as his deepest fear rang through.

“But… I– I don’t know her.” He replied.

Carolin’s face grew sad, hurt.

She looked away.

Another lance of pain speared his chest. He’d failed her, he knew… but what he’d said was true.

But, to his surprise, when she looked back at him, his wife wore a soft smile.

“You will. You’ll have to. There’s no other choice.”

She said it all with such confidence, such peace.

It shocked him, calming the doubts in his mind for a moment.

“Now come on.” She said, gripping his hands and pulling the blade toward her chest.

Kint shook his head, holding firm.

“I can’t.” He grunted, stubborn.

“Kint.”

“I won’t.” He affirmed. “I won’t do it.”

“You must.” She countered. “We have to.”

“No.” He clenched his jaw. “This is wrong.”

“Stop it.” She snapped. “This is the God’s will. The Prophet’s will.”

Her face was hard.

“You will do what is required. As you have before.”

Kint shook his head, confused.

“But this is diff–”

His ears rang. His cheek burned.

She’d slapped him. Hard.

He looked at her.

She was angry. Disappointed.

“Don’t say that, Kint. Never.” She hissed. “This can’t be different. It can’t be wrong. It is never wrong… otherwise– Otherwise, we are lost. You are lost.”

Her voice was firm, face steady.

He couldn’t understand it.

What did she mean?

Of course this was different. She wasn’t a Sinner, none of them were.

But, the longer he stared into those eyes, the weaker his arguments felt.

She was like a pillar of will. Unshakeable. Immovable.

Stalwart.

He sighed, resigned.

Carolin nodded, thankful.

Kint raised his blade, placing its point over her heart.

His hands shook, as he gritted his teeth.

The knife grew steady.

She closed her eyes.

Kint stared at her.

That dark hair, those freckled cheeks, those serene unyielding eyes.

He shook his head.

He couldn’t do it.

He loosened his grip, lowering the knife.

But before he could, Carolin grabbed his hands, pulling them forward. Impaling herself on the blade.

Kint gasped as the knife slid home.

“No!”

Blood choked from his wifes mouth. Pain racked her face.

He held her close as her body weakened.

She met his eyes, smiling.

“Even at the end.” She whispered, lips stained red. “I’m holding your hand.”

Carolin went limp.

Kint lowered her gently to the earth.

It was over.

Finally, blessedly, the Silent State closed around him.

All was quiet, all was cold.

----------------------------------------

Kint stared at the door, fear gripping his chest.

The Erasure crew had left an hour ago. The sun was halfway set.

His heart was hollow. His mind circled a single thought.

Nessa.

She would be at that door any moment.

What would he say to her? How could he tell her?

He didn’t even know how to communicate with the girl.

He’d kept his distance since she was born. For her sake and his own.

But now there was no choice, no avoiding it.

The door handle rattled.

He shuddered.

She was here.

The door shook again.

“Mama?” A muffled voice sounded.

Kint clenched his teeth. He reached for the Silence, but it had fled once again.

Tap tap tap.

“Mama?”

Louder this time.

He took in a breath looking to the ceiling.

“Mama.”

The words were pleading.

Kint bit his cheek, drawing blood.

The door was unlocked.

She could open it.

Why didn’t she just open it?

“Mama, Please!”

Or maybe she wouldn’t?

Maybe she’d just leave?

“Mama!”