A Drum in the Darkness

The sun set below the wall. The sky segued into blood and amber, washed down into duck egg blue, fading into deep, pastel night. Strange stars shivered into view, and I could not tell which way was north. Fen shone brighter than before.

The dry bundle of sticks we had gathered put out shoots and the shoots put out buds and blossom. The flowers hung thick around her hands, grey ghosts, bobbing with each step she took.

She skipped ahead of me, blithe in her circle of radiance. The grass was soft. Her light illuminated the undersides of trees, fruits hung there, fat and licentious.

We climbed a shallow flight of stone steps and passed into a rough-paved courtyard. Black shadows swung from a broken arch like hanged men, wild and silent as her brightness hurried beneath. We descended another flight of steps and back onto the lawn, once again amongst trees.

"I can carry that for you, if you want," I said.

"Don't worry, it's not heavy."

"Why were we gathering wood?" I asked. I honestly pictured some kind of ritual involving candles and sacred runes. Maybe dancing naked beneath the stars around a magic grotto. To be honest, it was this last part that excited me the most.

She stopped and gave me a hard stare, as though she were trying to work out how big an idiot I actually was.

"You do know about bonfires, right?" she said.

"Well, yes of course, but..."

"We're having a fire, and Seskie will notice if we damage her trees."

She frowned at me again as though regretting ever dragging me along. "You can only stay a little while," she said, then stalked off, with me trailing along behind her like an unlovely little puppy.

There was a new light now, off between the trees, flickering and dancing like flames, and the low sound of voices.

"Fen, there are people."

She stopped and put her hand on my arm. "Let me go first, do as I do," she said. "They’re going to hate you, and hate me for bringing you. Just don’t do anything silly, like running away or anything will you? Because I don’t think I could stand that."

She edged into the ring of firelight. I hung back in the shadows. There was a smallness in the way she moved, like a child that has done something naughty and is about to be found out.

Two young men sat around the dying embers of a fire, one small and fine, the other massive with muscles like a bull.

The big man rose smoothly, as though lifted on wires. He was almost twice as tall as Fen, broad around the shoulders, narrow at the waist. His hair was white blonde and it seemed to catch the light of the stars like a net. His light was brighter than Fen's and more golden, if she was the moon, he was a wildfire raging on a distant hilltop.

"I brought wood," she said, chucking the bundle at his feet.

"About bloody time," he said, scooping up the bundle. "Where have you been all day? We missed you at dinner. He chucked the bundle in the fire, and it flared up, the blossoms melting and blackening. Suddenly, the clearing was bright, and I was no longer hidden.

"Sister?" His hand went to his belt.

He ghosted towards me like smoke. The flowing cloak that he wore was swept back in a great curve that seemed both to encompass, and be encompassed by the night. The darkness gathered thick about him, but he was not darkened.

A long white blade snicked into his hand.

"You may not kill him, Llan!" said Fen.

"I may do as I please at my own fire, sister."

"He brought gifts. He gathered the wood, you took it. It's hospitality Llan." I detected a little edge of uncertainty in her voice. "Those are the rules Llan. You know they are."

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The young man glowered, his sword shivered. I saw the knuckles tighten around the hilt, then he was laughing. He swept his cloak around in a great curve, and when it settled, the blade was gone again.

"You tricked me, sister. That was actually very well played."

His voice was gravel and amber. I felt like I should kneel, though I did not.

“Why have you brought this raggedy animal to our fire?” He said. “Do you plan to cook it and eat it? It looks like barely a mouthful.”

"This is Tam," said Fen, frowning. Fists pressed into her hips. "Tam, these are my brothers. They act like lords, but really they're stupid."

"Oh, it's Tam is it?" said the massive figure. "Well, I do suppose that makes everything alright then."

"Don't be heinous, Llan," she said. "He's no trouble."

"Well, I’m glad to hear he's no trouble." said the enormous shining creature. "In that case we should definitely bring it right inside the ring, Maybe we could introduce it to Mother? Where did you find it? It looks like a dog has tried to eat it."

"It's not fair, Llan," she said. "You always get everything you want. Why can't I have something?"

"What happened to its face?" interrupted the other boy. He was fine-boned, smaller than Fen, with tousled hair and a round, haunted face. He shone with a pale, wan light that barely lit anything.

"He had an accident," said Fen. "It's not nice to point out people's flaws like that, Esten."

"It's all messed up," said Esten, "like it's fallen in a grinder and the bits got glued together again in the wrong places."

"Shut up, Esten! It’s not nice to talk about people like that!" Fen stared into the fire furiously, her cheeks reddening.

There was silence for a minute. "Well then," said Llan at last. "Since Tam is here, I suppose he had better take a seat. We can always kill him later once the wood is burned."

"Ignore him," whispered Fen, making a space for me at the fire. "He can’t kill you, you’re a guest." The bundle crackled and flared in the fire. The four of us sat in tense silence, watching it. I could see Llan staring at me. I didn't look up.

"It's a fair fire," said Esten at last.

"Tam found good sticks," said Fen.

"Well then, we are twice blessed," said Llan. "And maybe when we've burned all the sticks, we can burn Tam, assuming he's not too wet."

"You're horrid sometimes, Llan."

"I know."

Llan stretched out his long, long legs, poured himself a glass of amber liquid from a long-necked bottle and swirled it around.

"Well," said Fen brightly. "I'm going to make introductions."

"Marvelous," said Llan. "Then Tam will know absolutely everything about us, and we'll definitely have to kill him. There's a spade behind the Rook, maybe if we bury him deep enough, Mother won't even notice what you've done."

"This is Llandred," said Fen, ignoring him. "He hates everything and everyone, especially me right now."

"How well you know me," said Llandred.

"And this is Esten," she said, gesturing towards the smaller boy who was now leaning into the fire, one hand outstretched, brushing the tips of the flame with his fingers. "He can be a little funny sometimes, but he's nice."

Esten held out his hand to me. There was soot on the fingertips.

"Take it," whispered Fen. I took Esten's hand in my own rough, good hand and he shook it slowly up and down. His skin felt normal, like any ordinary person, perhaps a little soft from lack of hard use, and of course, it shone like a dainty little star.

"Is Tam really your name?" he asked. There was something strange about him, I found it hard to look straight at him. When I looked away, I found I could not remember his face, only a sense of uneasy grace.

"Tam is my name," I replied, trying to sound sure of myself.

His voice was a sad, slow refrain. A lament, full of colour and texture and layered depths. Mine was gruff and harsh in my ears. Ugly as a bull rutting after the cows.

"Tam," said Esten. "Tam, I don't think it's Tam. I think you've made a mistake there."

"I think he knows his own name Esten," said Fen, but Esten was still holding my hand, shaking it slowly up and down, staring into my eyes with that strange depth that I couldn't understand.

"Tamlin is better," said Esten, quietly. "No Tamberlyn. That's your name. Tamberlyn."

"Actually, I like Tamberlyn better," said Fen. "It sounds more normal, not so countrified. Tamberlyn."

"Oh, we're playing at names now, are we?" said Llandred. "I have a few names I could throw out there, for little girls who drag wolves in from the woods."

"I'm not a little girl, Llan, and he's not a wolf."

"He's not a wolf? I can see his snarl through that big gap in his lip."

“At least he’s not interminably vulgar, like some people.”

“Evidently, he is a well of fascinating conversation. Perhaps he could tell us about a cow he saw, or some mud he ate for breakfast.”

"Don't be beastly, Llan"

"Well then," said Llandred, turning to me. He was burning. I could hardly bear to look at him. "If you're not a wolf, what are you, and why do you presume to wait upon the Lady Fentallion, Miradel of Erin? To put it another way," Llandred's voice dropped to a low growl, "What the hell are you doing messing around with my sister?"

"Oh, Llan, I can talk to whoever I want. Just because you're a boy."

But Llandred's eyes were still on mine. He was easily three feet taller than me, shining like a flame. I remembered the white blade that had so suddenly appeared in his fist. The fire was burning low. My bundle of sticks was little more than embers and ash.

My throat was very dry. The only sound I could make was the tiniest of croaks.

"Ha," he said, then suddenly leaned forward and clapped me on the shoulder. Then, with no words spoken, the three Aden were on their feet.

"Come," he said. "Let's go to the pit."

Fen shrugged, "I think he likes you," then she was off, cartwheeling across the darkened lawn with her brothers loping along beside her. I scrambled to my feet and followed as quickly as I could, stumbling in the darkness.

I wondered what the pit was, and I remembered the bird and the sickness that had lingered. I did not know then that the pit would one day steal her from me. There was nothing I could have done about it anyway.