Chapter 11 – Being a White Knight in a World Full of Darkness

The next day, Lewiht was feeling well enough to start doing small chores around the ship. Right now he was mostly learning the essential duties, like how to handle the sails, keep watch, clean the decks, stuff like that.

“Are sand oceans real?” Melaia asked as they were both cleaning the main decks. Lewiht didn’t know why they were swabbing the decks since they looked quite clean, but Melaia insisted that it was to prevent the crew from getting sick. He had no idea how swabbing the deck prevented diseases but he had nothing better to do in the middle of the ocean, so he was just helping Melaia.

“Sand oceans? You mean deserts?”

“Yes. Are they real?” Melaia’s large eyes gleamed with curiosity, ready to devour any reply from Lewiht.

“Of course. There is a small one in the south, in Neruvra. I heard there are tribes living there, taming big creatures called ant vultures and using them for battle.”

“How can they live there? Do they eat fish?”

Lewiht smiled at the innocent question. “No. There are no fish in sand oceans. Honestly, I don’t know what they eat either. I’m not that different from you, actually. I’ve never been outside of Zylos. I only know things from the books.”

“But you’re traveling now, aren’t you?” Melaia said, smiling. “Unlike me, you can visit everywhere you want!”

Lewiht looked at Melaia with compassion. “Want to tag along? I’ve spoken with the capt-”

One of the crew members kicked Lewiht’s bucket, splashing water everywhere. Lewiht glared at the guy with a frown. He was a thin man with hair that looked like it was glued to his face due to its greasiness. His beard covered his face like an entangled fish net, making him older than he was.

“You did that on purpose, haven’t you?” Lewiht asked. He had no intention of becoming an easy mark. Not anymore. He stood up and looked the guy right in the eye.

“Sorry kid,” the guy said, smirking. “I was just here to give you some advice about the ship. My first advice is: you don’t need to look well-mannered or intelligent to make her open her legs. I bet even your weak arms can handle her.”

Lewiht raised his arm to punch him, but Melaia grabbed him by the wrist. “Please, don’t. It’s okay.”

“What?” Lewiht turned to her with protruding eyes. “It’s not okay, let me go.”

He was too late, though. The guy was already climbing the stairs to the forecastle deck, laughing his ass off. Lewiht frowned and looked at Melaia. “If you let them use you, things will never be okay.”

Lewiht followed the guy, climbing to the forecastle. He was sick of all these people thinking they were better than him. He was sick of people abusing their powers. He was sick of everything, and he wasn’t going to take this bullshit anymore.

“Big guy,” Lewiht yelled behind the guy, making him turn around.

The guy turned around, still laughing. “Would you look at that? Apparently our little rich kid has balls!”

“You’ll never mess with me or her ever again, you understand?”

“And what if I do?” The guy had a vile smile on his face, slowly approaching Lewiht.

Lewiht readied himself for an attack. He carefully examined the guy’s body to guess where he would hit, and avoid accordingly. But as he got closer to Lewiht, the man bent his arm unexpectedly, and a knife fell from the long-sleeved rag he was wearing. He deftly grabbed the knife and, without delay, plunged it into Lewiht’s left thigh. He pulled it back and blood started to ooze out of the wound.

Lewiht dropped to one knee, trying to swallow his scream. He didn’t want to be heard by everyone around him. This is nothing, he thought as he put pressure on his wound, but he knew he was just lying to himself. This pain was unlike anything Lewiht had ever experienced. It was a sharp pain and it burned his entire thigh, slowly ascending towards his groin and stomach. He breathed through his nose rapidly, trying not to scream.

The guy slowly leaned towards him, whispering in his ear. “Don’t try to be a white knight in a world full of darkness, kid.”

He left him there, alone with his pain. There were other people on the deck, but nobody paid attention to him. He saw some people were looking at him, but they didn’t do anything. Nobody cared about him, so he hit his thigh to pump himself up and stood up. Come on you bastard. This is nothing new. Pain is an old friend. You got this.

The good news was that it didn’t seem like there was serious muscle damage—he was able to use his leg fully as long as he endured the pain. The bad news was that the pain was unbearable.

He attempted to climb down the stairs, blood dripping from his leg. Luckily, Melaia was waiting for him in the main deck, and she ran to help him. Lewiht told her to be quiet and not to make a fuss before she could even say anything. She obliged and helped him get to the cargo hold where Lewiht was staying. Thanks to her help, Lewiht was able to walk without putting too much pressure on his left leg, but the pain hadn’t diminished one bit. Nor did the bleeding.

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Melaia helped Lewiht lean against one of the barrels. She didn’t hesitate and tore the cloth near the wound to examine it. “You’re lucky, it’s not that deep. It also missed your artery so you’ll be fine. As long as you don’t die from an infection.”

“How do you know these?” Lewiht asked. He was getting dizzy.

“You’d already be dead if it cut your artery.”

“No. I mean all these… medical information.”

“I said I knew first aid. Just wait here and put pressure. I’ll be back.”

Lewiht did as she said and waited. He was surprised at how cool headed Melaia was. He thought she was just an innocent kid, but right now, she looked like a completely different person. He wondered how many times Melaia did this kind of stuff.

When Melaia arrived with a bottle and a piece of cloth in her hand, it felt as if days had passed. She quickly put the bottle and unwrapped the cloth, revealing a suture and a needle and some sort of a… leaf?

Melaia gave the leaf to him. “Please eat this.”

“What’s this?”

“It’s called Nightmare Grass. It will put you to sleep shortly. It’ll also help with the pain.”

“That’s a scary name.”

“You’ll see some nightmares, that’s all. Better than screaming in pain.”

Lewiht chewed the leaf and a foul and a bitter taste spread in his mouth, while Melaia soaked the piece of clothing with the drink inside the battle, which Lewiht assumed to be rum. “This is going to hurt.”

Without giving Lewiht a chance to prepare, Melaia cleaned the wound with the cloth. Lewiht bit his lips, grunting as the alcohol burned his thigh. He was soaked in sweat—he tried to wipe away the beads of sweat on his forehead, but couldn’t find the strength to do so. The dizziness took over him and without even being able to say a word, he fell asleep.

***

He had a lot of nightmares. In most of them, he was running away from something or miserably failing to try to save people he cared about. Luckily, he didn’t remember any of them in detail when he eventually woke up. He was soaked to the bone with sweat and had a terrible headache.

He saw a tray of food left on the ground—a piece of dried meat and bread.

He burst into laughter as he saw the food. It was the same all over again. He was saved by someone else again. He was getting served food by someone else again. Ged, Willard, Melaia… He didn’t deserve any of them.

All he could do right now was laugh at his miserable state. It was like a cycle—get cocky, get beaten up and almost die, get saved by others, rinse and repeat. It was pure luck that he was still alive.

He held the edge of the barrel and slowly rose to his feet. Weirdly enough, the pain had gone away mostly. It was probably because of that grass Melaia gave him, or because the wound was too shallow as Melais said. In any case, as long as he walked slowly, he could endure the pain.

Climbing to the main deck, he realized it was almost midnight. He made his way into the kitchen area, which he knew was also used as a little tavern of sorts for the crew to drink and hang out. The ceiling of the kitchen was low and it was cramped with half a dozen tables. Most of the tables were full of crew members playing cards or just drinking loudly. He scanned the room and saw the guy who stabbed him playing cards with two other people. One of the seats was empty. Perfect.

Lewiht limped towards the table. “May I sit?”

The guy eyed him from head to foot and gestured with his head to sit. “What happened, kid? You didn’t learn your lesson?”

“Far from it,” said Lewiht, sinking in his seat. “I came here to apologize.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I don’t want to have any tension between us. I more or less understand what kind of person you and the other people on the crew are. I won't be so stupid to mess with you anymore.”

The guy laughed. “You’re a smart one, kid. Know how to play Royalty? Join us.”

“People say I’m a fast learner.”

“Sure. We’re playing for drinks and don’t think we’re gonna go easy on you just because you’re new.”

“Fine by me.”

The guy (his name was Hut, as he soon told Lewiht) explained the rules of Royalty to Lewiht. It was a card game where the participants tried to have the least card in their hands at the end of the game. Some cards had special abilities like making the opponents draw cards, or making discard some cards in your hand. It was a game where luck played a huge role, but you still needed to play smart to win.

They played a tutorial round for Lewiht but then started seriously. Aside from the scheduled meals, you still needed to pay for drinks if you wanted to drink, so the person with the most cards in his hand was buying a drink for the person with the least card in his hand.

They played a few rounds where Lewiht lost. After that, one of the guys left the table, leaving the three of them.

“So,” said Hut, throwing a card to the pile. “You were trying to dip your wick, weren’t you?”

“I was,” Lewiht said. “But you see, I grow up in Zylos. Being well-mannered was the only way I knew for picking up chicks.”

“Use your muscles next time.” Hut laughed. “It’s more fun that way.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks.”

“Speaking of Zylos. How did you end up here in this shithole?”

“Ah, a boring story.”

“There’s nothing that’s not boring on this fucking ship, kid. I’ve listened to everyone’s story at least twice. These ears need to hear something new.”

Lewiht told everything. He didn’t lie. He just didn’t tell him that he was the brother of Togan Teremon, that was all. Other than that, he didn’t skip anything. He told him how he got into a fight with the principal’s son, and how he killed his own father. It was… relieving to share these with other people, Lewiht found out. They also continued to play Royalty and Lewiht kept losing, but he didn’t care. He just poured out his heart and drank.

“Wow, kid,” Hut said when Lewiht finished his story. The other guy had left the table as well, leaving Hut and Lewiht alone. Perfect.

“Yeah. That’s how I ended up here.”

“I misjudged you kid. Half the men here don’t have balls as big as yours if your story is true. Not everybody can slice their old man’s throat, you know.”

“You don’t care I’m a… murderer?”

“What?” Hut yelled, he was getting tipsy. “You’d be surprised if you knew how many murderers there are on this ship.”

They continued their game for a couple more rounds, but in the end, Hut shouted, completely drunk. “This is enough, kid! My bladder’s going to fucking burst if we keep going! And you won’t have any coins left in your pockets.”

Lewiht nodded and helped Hut clean the table. Then they both climbed back to the main deck, making their way to the crew’s quarters.

“You don’t stay in the quarters, kid? Never seen you there.”

“No, I heard quarters were full. I’m staying in the cargo hold.”

“In that damp shithole? I appreciate you even more now.” Hut approached the guardrail. “I need to take a piss. Thanks to you.”

“I didn’t drink as much, but same.” Lewiht also approached the guardrails.

“You know, kid,” Hut said, lowering his pants just enough to piss. “I’m sorry for knifing you. You’re a decent kid.”

“No worries.” Lewiht pretended to lower his pants. He checked the person on guard duty in the crow’s nest, but he looked like he was asleep. “I’m also sorry.”

“For what?”

“For lying. I knew how to play Royalty.”

“What? Why would you lie if yo-” Before he could finish, Lewiht’s ornate dagger was already lodged in Hut’s chest. He tried to say something, but all that came out of his mouth was blood.

Lewiht pulled his dagger back and gently pushed Hut, making him tumble over the guardrail and vanish into the dark ocean.

“You were right,” Lewiht said, watching the empty void beneath the ship. “I can’t be a white knight in a world full of darkness. I need to get my hands dirty.”