5:30 am

Somewhere, someplace

Beep, beep, beep

Simon Bartlett slams a large hand down on the snooze button of his late grandfather’s bronze alarm clock. If not for the fact that his wife lies beside him in the bed, he might hurl the blasted thing through the closest window. But, Piper loves the crappy heirloom. A touch of sentimentality. Simon’s grandfather died less than a month before their engagement was official. Piper and Papa Leon had been very close.

Simon stretches and turns over on his back, eyes wandering toward the ceiling. However, the darkness of the room lulls him back to sleep. Piper’s left hand sliding across his hairy chest causes Simon’s eyes to flutter open. She nestles close and whispers in his ear.

“No you don’t, sleepyhead. It’s time to get up! If we don’t get a move on…We’ll never get to my parents’ on time.”

Simon groans and presses the back of his head deeper into the pillow. He draws up his right arm, covering his eyes with the inner part of his elbow.

“Why can’t we just fly out there? Is it really worth the twelve hours sitting in a cramped car listening to golden oldies, boring talk shows, and static? I know all the best websites. I can get us a great deal. We can still get a nap and be there…On time.”

Piper sits up in the bed and glowers playfully down at Simon. Throwing off the covers, she prepares to stand up, slapping the palm of her right hand on Simon’s exposed left shoulder.

“Nope. Up! Come on. I’m gonna take a shower! Then, I’m making us some breakfast. Join me or not, your choice. Besides, you can’t take a cake that size on a plane. Mom and Dad deserve the best for their thirtieth anniversary. Not some store bought monstrosity. Get up, Simon. You’ve known about this for three months. Up!”

“Right!” Simon moans. “Be right there.”

Piper smirks and slides her shower shoes on. She doesn’t bother to dress. What would be the point? Simon removes his elbow from his face in order to watch Piper stroll into the bathroom. Even after four years of dating, and two years of marriage, she still manages to drives him mad.

============================================================================

“Don’t forget to tighten the straps,” Piper says, adjusting the plastic cake carrier holding her latest culinary masterpiece.

A tiny fleck of frosting somehow managed to adhere itself to the side of the plastic carrier. Piper rubs the stubborn icing off and licks the tip of her finger. With a soft giggle, she withdraws from the trunk and glances over at her husband. Simon flashes Piper a thumbs-up, the roof luggage platform snugly secured.

“Let’s go!” Simon exclaims in a deep and mocking tone.

“Let’s go!” Piper says with a wide grin.

Simon closes the trunk with one hand, while reaching for Piper’s hand with the other. He leads his wife to the passenger side of the vehicle, opens the door, and allows her to climb in. Closing Piper’s car door, Simon heads around the front of the vehicle and climbs behind the wheel.

“Thank you for doing this, Simon! I felt we could use some time together. Just the two of us. Ever since you were transferred to your new department, we don’t see much of each other besides a few hours here and there. I really do appreciate you being patient with me…And making an effort.”

“It’s nothing, baby! I’m happy to do it. I know I suggested we take a plane. I was just…Acting up! It doesn’t bother me to drive out to your mom and pop’s place. You know, I love you. This is nothing.”

“Thank you, anyway!” Piper coos, leaning over and soliciting a tender kiss from Simon, who is only too eager to acquiesce.

“No, Prob. Put your seat-belt on, babe. We’re gonna be late,” Simon quips.

“Right. Now, you’re Mr. Punctual?”

============================================================================

“What’s that?” Piper questions, her eyes growing wide as saucers.

Under the hood, a sound like chains being rattled together draws concerned stares from both husband and wife. Simon shakes his head warily and pulls back on the accelerator. Pressing lightly on the brake, he lets out a sigh and eases the car over to the shoulder.

“I don’t know! Damn!”

“I thought you had the car checked yesterday?”

“I did. Nick told me everything was good!”

“Nick?! You said you were taking it to a real shop! Oh my! Now, what?”

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“Look. Nick is a real mechanic, Piper! He just works for himself! There’s nothing wrong with that!”

“Nothing wrong with that? Simon, we’re stranded. With crappy phone reception. I’ve only had one bar for the last two or three miles. What was the nearest city on the sign back there?”

“I don’t know. I was just following the route. I think the closest city was like thirty-two miles or something. But there’s exits. I mean, we can make it. We’ll just leave the car. Flag down a truck. It’s all good.”

“Oh, Simon. I haven’t seen another car for miles. It’s early in the morning and this is a back road. Why can’t you ever listen to me? I asked you to have the car checked out by a mechanic. You knew, I didn’t mean Nick!”

“Okay, okay. I know you don’t like Nick. But it’s probably not his fault. Things like this happen.”

Piper peers out of the passenger window with a solemn expression. She runs a hand over her stomach while rolling her eyes.

“Let’s assume we can get ahold of somebody…How long do you think it will be till someone gets to us?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I think we should try to get somewhere with better reception. Who knows, we may only have to go a mile or two. Get past these dang trees.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Simon. Leave the car? Why don’t we try limping the car ahead to the next exit? Stay on the shoulder? Maybe a trooper will show up and assist us?”

“We’ll do more damage that way. It might be something as simple as a belt. We push it…We might be looking at engine failure. Nah. I think we should try walking. If it looks like it’s too far to the next exit…We can turn back. Hopefully, our phones will have better reception before that happens. Come on, babe. Weren't you the one saying we were on a time crunch? Where’s my brave Piper at?”

Piper rolls her eyes a second time and sighs. She pokes Simon in the right shoulder with an index finger.

“Okay. We walk.”

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Sometime later

Piper glances at the display on her phone with a worried expression. She hesitates before mentioning her findings to her brooding husband. Simon has said very little, staring down the road with hard narrowed eyes.

“Simon. The reception isn’t getting better. It’s getting worse. My phone now shows an “x” and zero bars. I have no reception at all.

Simon chances a brief look at his own phone. He rotates his head on his shoulders before giving Piper the bad news.

“Mine too.”

“This isn’t working, Simon. We need to go back to the car.”

Simon is about five seconds from agreeing with Piper’s assessment, when he spies a dirt road branching off from the road they are walking down.

“Hey. Look. There’s got to be a house somewhere on that road. There’s tire tracks. Come on, Piper.”

Simon heads down the road. Holding Piper’s hand tightly, he pulls her gently behind him. After they have been walking for several minutes, Piper speaks up.

“Uh…There’s no house, Simon. We’re going to get lost. We should go back.”

“Go back? I saw tire tracks, babe. That means someone probably lives down this road. A house means a phone. And maybe someone who can get us going again.”

“That’s a lot of ‘maybes’, Simon. You’re also assuming they won’t just shoot us for trespassing.”

“Tsk. Nobody does that!”

“Really, Simon?!”

“What? Whoa—,” Simon exclaims, his eyes bulging. “I said a house. That ain’t a house. But…It is…Something!”

Simon squints through the thick trees lining the side of the road and points to his left.

“You see that, babe?”

“See what? Oh. Oh, yeah. Wow!” Piper says between a laugh. “I guess the circus is in town.”

“Better than nothing, babe.”

“Never said it wasn’t. After you, Sir Lancelot. Lead the way.”

“Ha ha.”

============================================================================

“Hello,” Piper yells, stepping into the big top tent.

Simon is only a few paces behind her. He looks around at everything, his mouth drawn up in a scornful grimace.

“Free admission? How the hell do you make any money charging free admission? Probably why there’s nobody here. They went out of business.”

“Ssh, Simon. That’s mean. Maybe it’s a charity thing. People give what they want. Or what they can. A donation. Everything isn’t about getting rich. Hello! Anyone? You’ve got patrons here! Hello! Hel—.”

Before Piper can call again, an attractively dressed woman enters the other flap on the opposite side of the tent. Raising the front of her purple top hat with the golden tip of her black cane, the woman stares crossly at the interloping couple.

“Hello,” The woman in the purple suit says, taking several long strides into the tent. “And you are?”

Simon gently nudges Piper aside and comes to stand in front of his wife. Something about this new woman seems—off. Regret seizes his heart as he meets the ringmaster’s steely gaze.

“Hi. Our car is broke down on the main road. We saw your…Your setup here and thought there might be someone who could help us. Sorry to have bothered you. We may have phone reception. We can call someone. Again, sorry to have bothered you.”

“It’s no bother,” the ringmaster says, a thin smile on her lips. “To help others…Is why I am here? Have you been walking long? You must be tired. Sit and rest. Make your phone call.”

“Uh…Okay,” Simon agrees.

Pulling out his cellphone, Simon grunts angrily.

“Damn! Still no signal, babe!”

“Simon, it’s alright. Chill. Ma’am, do you have a phone? Like a real phone? A landline?”

The ringmaster scowls and crosses both arms behind her back.

“No. I’m afraid I do not.”

Simon begins to pace, both hands clenched in tight fists. Piper reassuringly touches his left shoulder with a slender hand.

“I should have had the car checked by someone else. Oh gawd. I should have had someone else look at the car.”

“Babe…Simon, don’t worry about it. We’re good,” Piper says, “Ma’am, you do at least have a car? Can you take us to the nearest town?”

The ringmaster becomes visibly confused. Tapping the tip of her cane twice against the floor, she looks directly into Piper’s eyes.

“A car? Now, what would I do with a car?”

“What would you do with—” the words freeze in Piper’s throat as an eerie change comes over the ringmaster’s appearance. She grips Simon’s forearm tightly, drawing his attention as well. “Huh?”

“Oh, hell nah!” Simon mutters.

The tall woman in purple is no longer just a woman. The ringmaster’s long black hair is now completely white. Where there was once soft supple flesh, there are gray folds and wrinkles. Her polished nails are long black talons, and sharp gleaming teeth overhang the skin of her bottom lip.

“Oh, nah…Nah,” Simon says, gripping his shocked wife’s shoulders and yanking her toward the flap they used to enter the tent.

The ringmaster issues an evil laugh and rapidly taps her cane on the ground four times. The tent flap closes like a door, just as Piper and Simon approach it. Simon shakes his head and reaches out his free hand. Peeling back the flap, Simon prepares to charge outside—into nothingness.

“What the hell?” Simon yells, putting out a hand to stop Piper’s forward motion. “What the freaking hell?”

“What the hell, indeed,” the ringmaster chuckles. Tapping her cane again, the ringmaster takes several steps toward the bewildered couple. “Welcome…To my funhouse. It’s been a long time since I’ve had visitors.”

To be continued.......