Part I: Becoming Redoran

By Nilas Arobar, Son of Councilor Arobar

I have awaited this day as long as I can remember and I find my hands shaking with anticipation for when I’ll hear the knock on the door that tells me the time has finally come.  Today is the perhaps the single most important day of my life: It is the day I become Redoran.  Few truly understand the gravity of such a thing, but my whole life I have been taught what it means.  It means to live a life of sacrifice and servitude; it means to love the Three, one’s house, and one’s people more than you could ever love yourself.  It means becoming a part of something greater than any words can hope to describe and I have been granted the honor—no, the privilege—of being allowed the opportunity to undergo the Redoran Trials and to earn my place within the House.

I haven’t the faintest of clues what they will entail, but I know that I will go in a boy—a child—and I will emerge a man.  No, I’ll be something greater than a man; I’ll be a Redoran!  Still, I must approach the Trials with gravity, as is the Redoran way.  I must be stoic in the face of danger and deliberate in both my words and my actions, lest I allow myself to be weak—to be soft.  I must never be those things though, for I am destined to be Redoran and a Redoran who is either such thing dishonors not only himself but all Redorans and I will do no such thing.  Still.  I can’t help but feel my heart flutter a little bit with joy at knowing this day has finally come after having waited so long; I only wish Mother could be here to witness me become Redoran, but I know that she watches from beyond the grave and she smiles down upon me for I am becoming everything I was always meant to be. 

I hear footsteps.  This is it.  It’s finally happening!

* * *

I was mistaken.  It was not my soon-to-be brothers coming to lead me to the Trials, but my dear sister, Gandosa.  She’s concerned—worried even, but she doesn’t understand that this isn’t just something I can forego; it’s who I am.  It’s been my duty since I was born to become truly Redoran and not merely Redoran by blood, but how could she understand?  Father has never had the same expectations of her as he has of me, but that’s because she has always had a different role to play for the good of the House.  I was born to bring honor upon the House and upon my father and she was born to be wed to Serjo Avon Oran to ensure that once he passed, control of Suran would fall back into her hands and thus back into the hands of the House. 

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I can’t help but pity her though.  Her entire life was spent being groomed to fulfill a very specific purpose for the good of not only our family, but the House, and she failed.  She failed to win the affections of Serjo Oran and ever since, she’s fallen out of favor with Father.  I can’t imagine the shame she must feel over having failed to fulfill her destiny, but that doesn’t change that I still love her.  She’s always been my sweet older sister and has always been the one to intervene when Father’s discipline got—too severe—even when it meant she would share in it with me.  She always made sure that I would be okay.  She always made sure. 

I will miss her dearly after the Trials when I am away for long periods of time in service to the House. 

I will miss how she used to always tell me stories when we were little.

I will miss how she used to always kiss my forehead after Father finished disciplining me and tell me that everything would be alright, even if it wasn’t alright right now.

I will miss a lot about her, but I guess the thing I’ll miss the most is how she’s always been the closest thing I’ve ever had to a mother despite only being a few years older than me.  Mother died when I was born and ever since, Gandosa has always—taken care of me.  Father was always too busy in service to the House and though the servants tended to my needs, they didn’t care like she did.  She was always just—there for me.

I will miss her a lot, but I have to remember something: A Redoran’s life is sacrifice.  A Redoran sacrifices, because it his duty and because he loves his people more than he loves himself.  I will miss you, Gandosa.  I will miss you more than all the stars in the sky and the moons too, but a Redoran’s life is sacrifice and my destiny awaits and I shan’t keep it waiting any longer.

I love you, Gandosa. 

I hope you never forget that, no matter how far my service to the House takes me, I hope you know I’ll never forget my big sister who banished the monsters from under my bed and always believed in me, no matter how much I messed up and how bull-headed I always was.  When all is said and done, I’ll come back for you.  I don’t know when.  I don’t know how.  But I’ll come back for you, Gandosa, and that’s on my honor and a Redoran never breaks his honor.

-Nilas Arobar, Redoran Aspirant